M63
How do you measure your self worth?
March 04 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I hate not knowing things!
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RHP User
14 years ago
On how big the smiles are all around me
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RHP User
14 years ago
is it something you can measure? maybe looking at yourself in the mirror, and liking the person who looks back at you?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have a terrible habit of grounding mine on my job(s) and by feeling indispensable to those around me. So in an effort to give myself a kick in the arse, I quit both jobs and moved across the other side of the country :P Suffice to say, I'm struggling with my adrift status, but learning alot from it, too. At my worst, I look at my son and go "well, shit, I can't be that bad, look what I made" and if he can tell me I'm awesome, who am I to argue? :D
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RHP User
14 years ago
the important people in your life have magic mirrors in their eyes The show you who you are, and I am ten foot tall and bullet proof. or get a dog they think everyone is fucking A
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think it is important to know your strength/self worth, not so much from reflexions that the world/people give you, But by your own inerpeace.You don't really need others people appreciation/back padding, you need to know in your core that you are OK..... As perfect as you can possibly be at this moment, ready to keep learning/experiencing and growing.But if it all ends right now, you are already happy, content and satisfied.Just my thoughtsParis
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T'On how big the smiles are all around me spot on dgt. and further to that, the ability have a positive impact on others. whether that being a fleeting one off interaction or a defineable friendship.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Self worth? I'm still working on a 5 year sex plan. Jeese, I've been so accustomed to poor mental health I didn't realise that being completely healthy meant making all these ridiculous decisions. How do I measure my self worth? Damn. Someone needs to invent a scale or something.. at least set out some key performance indicators.... let's see...Happily employed in whatever it is i choose to do with my productive time?Happy with friends and family?Happy with my physical health?Are there any more key performance indicators??Seems to me the question is better re-stated.... it is really... "Are you happy?"I am, until the medication wears off. wooohooo! You gotta love oblivion.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes very as I lifv Quoting 'NoFuzz'I think it is important to know your strength/self worth, not so much from reflexions that the world/people give you, But by your own inerpeace. You don't really need others people appreciation/back padding, you need to know in your core that you are OK..... As perfect as you can possibly be at this moment, ready to keep learning/experiencing and growing. But if it all ends right now, you are already happy, content and satisfied. Just my thoughts Paris Its a combination of both, without others perceptions you can get a warped view of yourself. inner peace is a life long quest and its transient, living in the now is always a good way to try and maintain it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
By my ability to sleep at night :) I have a overly sensitive moral conscience, I like to live life with kindness and love for others . I generally live each day treating others how I would like to be treated , and trying to see the good jn everyone ( sometimes a struggle) I was conflicted for years over being a moral spiritual person , that loves sex so much ( thanks to my catholic upbringing , this made me uneasy) Now days I am very happy with myself . I believe if you live with honesty ( to yourself) and integrity towards others then smile and own everything enjoy or do :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's taken a great deal out of me and I find I'm often questioning my self worth. Bit of a bummer really. ps. MissSarahCurious, read through the "Ladies with tattoos" thread and you'll be left with no doubt.
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RHP User
14 years ago
...begins and ends in the mind.I find my own self-worth in a reflection of the deepest inner-most feelings of not intellect ,of what i know is truth through my own life experiences.Intuition bites in.When joining this site,i found myself loose,a boy in a candy shop.Could i really ""fuck""someone.No,not without losing my own perception of self-worth.My own piece of peace of mind.I could"" love""someone...like i was living my last moments...
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RHP User
14 years ago
...im just not so sure where the yardstick starts,...under,over or side of""freddy"",,,never known whod know....i i just say ""9""....sounds cool. )
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RHP User
14 years ago
I used to have a fantastic self worth but following the 2008 meltdown / GFC my worth is less than 50 percent of what it was... I tried printing more of my self worth to return my self to what it was but the face value of my self worth halved again. I am currently working with my greatest twenty friends (my G20) and together we are working through some ideas to recover my self worth....some have suggested I re-evaluate my priorities and values whilst others have suggested I spend my way out of this low point.... I really don't know......we are off to China for a holiday ...hopefully China will get me through this.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Despite the reflection we get from society, and even in spite of difficult, if not terrible life circumstances, our sense of self-worth is a personal journey. Self-worth is one element of the equation that makes for self-esteem: Self-confidence plus self-worth equals self-esteem.I believe that if one is clear about one's self-worth, it is harder for one's self-confidence to be shaken. Or if one's self-confidence is shaken, rattled and rolled, you will be able to pick yourself up off the floor much quicker.Loving partnerships are about learning, growing and sharing love and companionship. They are not about taking responsibility for making the other person feel happy, safe, secure or validated. Paradoxically, when you fully take on the responsibility of making yourself feel happy, safe, secure and validated, a loving relationship supports and enhances these wonderful feelings. But when you expect your partner to do this for you, then your self-abandonment creates your misery, insecurity and lack of self-worth. As long as you are abandoning yourself and expecting your partner to do for you what only you can do for yourself, your partner's love will never be enough to give you the happiness, safety, security and sense of worth that you seek.How do you measure it?.........When you feel a sense of inner acceptance, there is no need to prove yourself to others.Something i have observed in life is that when a person who goes out of his/her way to show his/her importance is actually covering up low self-esteem.
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RHP User
14 years ago
...as it is often confused with self-esteem or worse, as net worth in pure terms and nothing could be further from the truth. I have friends from all walks of life, some with wealth beyond my wildest imagination and some very humble craftsmen who are simply proud of the value of their art. If you were these, my friends, together in the same room...you would find they shared a common bond in that they determine their self-worth by what they are able to give and share with others. Equally, they are all quite confident and happy with who they are in life...many of them are well and truly the best of the best and it would be hard to differentiate just who is who in the crowd. | You will always find others who will continually berate others for anything from their material possessions to their lifestyle choices...whether it be the car you drive, your choice to smoke a fine cigar, recreational toys that you may own or even your enjoyment of a good scotch. I pity them rather than give them any value in my life...they have already robbed themselves of both their own self-worth and surely must suffer from very low self-esteem. There are also the Dream Stealers waiting behind every tree hoping that you too become just another dull and lifeless John or Jane Doe...don't believe them, follow and chase your dreams. These people always seem to chant the same mantra...if you want what I want and want to be who I am, do what I do and think what I think...the trouble is, most of us don't want that for ourselves and are quite happy being just who we are as individuals living each day the best we can on this big blue marble spinning in space. | At the end of the day, if you are happy with who you are and the folks around you appreciate what you give to them or share...your self-worth is immeasurable, and that's what makes each day a little brighter for us all. | | *flips the hat back around*...and putting someone in a cum coma helps too.
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Innercircle
14 years ago
THIS Quoting 'ChasingMidnight'| At the end of the day, if you are happy with who you are and the folks around you appreciate what you give to them or share...your self-worth is immeasurable, and that's what makes each day a little brighter for us all. | |
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RHP User
14 years ago
Did we bring joy to others and did we know joy......are we loved and did we love.....? will we leave our mark on others when we leave this world ...will we be truly mourned ? I agree with all the posts above.....basically though it comes down to (for me) at the end of the evening...in that moment when Im just about to drift off to sleep ......am I loved and do I love ? did I do some good today ? did I make a difference no matter how small? do I like myself....? If I answer Yes to those 4 questions..then Im doing ok with me. I am the person I am most comfortable with and who I have the ultimate relationship with...if you like the person who looks back at you when you glance in the mirror then your doing fine....
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RHP User
14 years ago
I see it in the eyes of my children and the way I am always welcome in their homes. I see it in the faces of my little grandchildren when they race to the door each time I visit. It is there when my friends come to lend a helping hand without being asked, It is within my community when I help out at the local school. Every day when I get up in the morning and in the evening when I go to bed, when I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I did all I possibly could do to be the best I possibly could be that day. My self worth can not be measured in terms of sexuality....mine or anyone elses. My selfworth is immeasurable.
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RHP User
14 years ago
not sure how I measure it...but its quite amazing how quickly it can be erodedby an inconsiderate act or a thoughtless word.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I had no idea, when I wrote my OP that I was being childish.
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RHP User
14 years ago
My thoughts are (meaning no offense to anyone) if your concerned about your self worth and how it should be judged, then I'd imagine it's at the back of your mind all the time. This in my opinion equates to self consciousness. Personally I don't really give a rats what others opinion of me is, I'm just myself, and if that puts a smile on someones face then so be it. Everyone is individual, with individual traits and individual observations of others. As long as I am happy, and I can have a laugh with a mate with no inhibitions or hangups, I think that is the most important factor contributing to my perception self worth. I'd also imagine the parents out there would get immense satisfaction with the learning progress of their children (first steps, words, day of school etc), and damn right their entitled to be PROUD. My 10cCheers, Jay
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RHP User
14 years ago
being able to understand you've done wrong...and how to fix it..........., would seem to be a pretty good measure of worth. dont take it to heart... its all good.
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RHP User
14 years ago
SLK27, your veiw is accurate of a person's worth veiwed by those he leaves behind but I suspect that a funeral service would be a little late to have much of an impact on a person's self worth. Handmaiden, you sound like a worthwhile person at peace with who she is. I envy you. Unfortunately, the reality is that everyone has someone who looks at them with love in their eyes. Ivan Milat, has loved ones, Osama Bin Laden had loved ones, even the lowest dregs you might find in the middle of a hardcore housing commision area, inhabited by dole bludgers and drug addicts have someone that loves them (please don't assume that I believe that everyone who inhabits a housing commision dwelling is worthless or that this is the only place to find such a person but it's a good place to look). Still there are many who can feel an inflated sense of self worth from the love they recieve unconditionally. JayV85, thre will come occasions in your life when you will have cause to question your self worth but at your age you'll be too busy just living life to give it much thought. More power to you. When I was younger, I was a strong and determined individual. I was enthusiastic at work and my efforts were appreciated by both employer and peer. Since my accident, I'm made to feel like a dead weight by my superiors and told that I'm lazy and should be doing more. They are wrong, as I'm still doing my best, and their attitude is not what depresses me but my physical prowess had a huge influence on my self esteem. Now it's diminished and it leads to a great deal of soul searching. I'm looking for a new yard stick that feels good. I love my family and they love me but that's only as it should be. Sorry for being so depressing.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Only that its not my place to be right too often.
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RHP User
14 years ago
'nudierudie2' hit the spot with her comment about 'taking responsibility for your own happiness', or i like to say 'taking responsibility for your own feelings'...... your friends, family, kids and even your dog can give you all the love in the world and tell you what a wonderful person you are, ( except for the dog, woof woof maybe ) but if you dont love yourself (self worth ) you can never really fully appreciate the love you recieve from others. quoting MissBJ 'it's quiet amazing how quickly it can be eroded by an inconsiderate act or a thoughtless word' this is someone who has very little self worth.... no offence to you either MissBJ, but when someone oozes self worth, or is a solid individual no word or act can bring them down because they have chosen to take responsibility for their own happiness or their own feelings.... cause they know who they are at the root, and their happy with that... faults and all. it'd just water off a ducks back!... they have made a conscious decision a long time ago not to give themselves away and let someone else validate their existence. your self worth can be challenged but, mine has for sure! hatake away your friends, family, kids, job, money or anything else that gives you love, satisfaction or you think validates your existence, and all you have left is you and your thoughts! i find this a nice definition of self worth..... it is from a course i completed last year.... 'we define our self worth internally by recieving the truth of who we are through god/spirit or divine love. we then recognize and embrace our essential goodness, caring, lovability, joy, empathy, compassion, and inner knowing. this creates an experience of our intrinsic worth and personal power, unrelated to looks, performance or external approval'ultimately, self worth is all about you and your own thoughts...... although it's always nice to hear from others that you are a worthy individual... there's satisfaction in that too!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'funsexy4all' I used to have a fantastic self worth but following the 2008 meltdown / GFC my worth is less than 50 percent of what it was... I tried printing more of my self worth to return my self to what it was but the face value of my self worth halved again. I am currently working with my greatest twenty friends (my G20) and together we are working through some ideas to recover my self worth....some have suggested I re-evaluate my priorities and values whilst others have suggested I spend my way out of this low point.... I really don't know......we are off to China for a holiday ...hopefully China will get me through this. Similarly having enjoyed fantastic self worth for the previous decade the trick now is to share my loss with others so they can take on most of the burden. It will be very hard for them, but my fellow people should get me through with minimal loss to my own self worth. Then I should be able to reclaim the self worth that the people have created and everyone will be in their rightful place again. It's a tough trick to pull off, but I'm definitely too big to fail.
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RHP User
14 years ago
i found this poem a while ago, it has some relevance to the topic........ enjoy!THE MAN IN THE MIRRORif you get what you want in your struggle for selfand the world makes you king for a daythen go to the mirror and look at yourselfand see what that man has to sayfor it isn't a man's father, mother or wifewhose judgement upon him must passthe fellow whose verdict counts most in his lifeis the man staring back from the glasshe's the fellow to please, never mind the restfor he's with you clear up to the endand you've passed your most dangerous, difficult testif the man in the glass is your friendyou can fool the whole world down the pathway of yearsand get pats on the back as you passbut your final reward will be heartache and tearsif you've cheated the man in the glass--a convict; found on the walls of his cell
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RHP User
14 years ago
What something is "worth" is what somebody else is prepared to give or give up for it..... So I think your "self worth" can only be measured by somebody who wants you for who and what you are.....If you portray yourself as "priceless" then you may well become...... worthless.
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RHP User
14 years ago
It has been said, one of the biggest challenges of your whole life, will be to control your ego. . A deflated ego is ugly. . An over-inflated ego is repugnant.
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RHP User
14 years ago
As I stated in my OP there are those convinced of their superiority without justification. There WAS a point to it. I know a man who is completely self centered. He dominated his wife untill she decided enough was enough and left him. He is convinced that he has the right to persecute her for her betrayal. He has lied, made problems for her through underhanded legal means and used the children against her. I have never met anyone else with fewer redeaming characteristics but he is still convinced of his own superiority. Do you think hardened criminals accept that they are wrong. No, they are able to justify their actions to themselves. I think I am a good man but am I deluding myself just as these deluded low-lifes are. Let me say, without modesty or boasting, that I am highly intelligent. My own IQ lies above the ninetieth percentile. What good is intelligence when you do nothing with it. I chose to make my achievements in physical ways. I was a black belt Tae Kwon Do instructor by the age of 16. I regularly competed in the City to Surf and would run 8km daily as a youth. After an embarassing defeat in a tournament, I decided I needed greater upper body strength and turned to weight traiing. I became a gym instructor as well as teaching self defense. Without resorting to steroids, I could bench press 260lbs and my upper arms measured over 17". Now these achievements count for nothing. I can't run across the road. My arms are skinny and soft compared to what they were. Again, I am sorry for being so depressive.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You are wonderful.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' Now these achievements count for nothing. I can't run across the road. My arms are skinny and soft compared to what they were. Again, I am sorry for being so depressive. Why do you think they count for nothing? Are you still measuring yourself on those achievements? Perhaps you should look for new achievements based on your current circumstances? Jensman... what makes "you" feel good - about "yourself"? (there's a lot of 'achievements' in this paragraph.. think about it ;P)I certainly don't think the degree I have counts for nothing, even though I never went in to that chosen field. I worked hard for it, including doing summer school while holding down a job plus starting my own business. I am proud of that. While I may not have gone in to that specific field, I have used the experience and other fundamentals from actually completing the course to achieve what I have now.I really had to think about your OP. I guess I have never consciously measured it, per se. The best answer that I feel content with is by being true to myself and my beliefs. Yes, I have 'betrayed' myself at times and felt less worthy for the time it took me to learn from mistakes. This also made me stronger. I have been criticised, judged, commended and applauded for decisions I have made, actions I have done and for my achievments - if I were to base my feeling of self worth on others, then I would be one very confused person - it is impossible to please everyone (and sometimes it would seem, anyone) but it is essential that ultimately you are genuinely pleased with yourself.ps. your arms just sound like they have gone out in sympathy with some boobs after child rearing - now that's another achievement ;P
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RHP User
14 years ago
I don't know if it's permanent or not but I'm off antidepressants so it's a start. Things are moving forward in the real world for me and these forums have been a good distraction for me. Thank you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
When you loose nearly everythng.,job, reputation,position in your chosen community and you realize you are NOT any of those things,they are not WHO you are.Sometimes we confuse those thngs with our intrinsic worth,we think we are not perfect,but the truth is we are perfect,sometimes our perceptions of ourselves arent. We can of course make choices about how we wish to go about our way in the world,but as Tuscan Red says, if you want to know your true worth look into your loved ones eyes,It will be reflected there....and the truth is our bodies and sometimes our minds will change over time,,,,how we look and think at 40 is not going to be how we look and think at 80....except for me of course..I am at the top of the full body mind transplant list...oh hang on ,think that may be reincarnation,,,,nooooo do I have to do this all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
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RHP User
14 years ago
by never judging yourself by what others think or if you have someone as a partner, by being able to build the life you want so that it doesn't matter if someone shares it with you or not, by understanding that nothing lasts forever and should treat things as such, by knowing in yourself that you truly love who you are, what you do, and what message you give the world. At the end of the day live your life for yourself. If someone wants to join you on that journey keep your integrity needs and dreams firmly in sight and never compromise them for anyone. Never let yourself be treated with contempt or disrespect and keep strong boundaries. Never make someone a priority if you're only an option to them.
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RHP User
14 years ago
hey jens, don't question yourself, we're all the same. Your worth as just much as me (don't want to devalue you man) and I feel so much personel happiness for myself. And our worth is just as much as Donald Trumps, no shit! Maybe I messure it wrong but when you strip everything away we're all the same. Your worth is inside of you jensman don't let your mind play tricks on you thinking it's an external value of wallet size or athleticism. The mind is a powerful tool and at times it betrays us and puts us down. I had a traumatic experience years ago that would still effect me now if I didn't lay it all out on the table and examine everything. My cure to digging out of that hole was to take stock of my life. I quit my job and worked on me and my happiness. I gave away most of my possessions and it gave me freedom to appreciate the basics in life. That was my thing, you'll work out your process. I'm back working but so much happier. I learnt to curb my ego and give up some of my territory for whoever, be it someone cutting me off in traffic or someone trash talking me. Let it go that's their problem unfortunately. It's retraining the mind and letting go. Feeling that emotion, recognising it for what it's worth, then letting go of that feeling. It feels really good and sooooo relieving. There's so much more to the healing but it basically teaches us to be honest within ourselves, to love and be loved. It's not corny or deep, it's real man! Check out these books, easy reading, short chapters and oh so useful to make your way through this mind f#ck of a society and it's trappings. LOVE IS LETTING GO OF FEAR and IN THE FACE OF FEAR. That's what all this ego crap, putting people down and keeping up with the Jones is all about. Our own fear of whatever we're threatened by. Just a suggestion jensman, worth a look. I'm no guru just a normal guy, and waking up to all this changed my life. chin up jman
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RHP User
14 years ago
If I can look at myself in the mirror every day, then I'm all good.
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RHP User
14 years ago
depends on how much bolly i've had then im really really worthy or do i I make you worthy....something like that anyway..off to play with the fairies tralalalala
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes for sure...I do. It took me a long time......I had to see my husband die first to see what I am made of and get it what its all about. I am worth every breath I take. I dont care anymore to be not like anybody else. I liked this sentence ,because it is me right down to a T. I KNOW THAT I AM DIFFERENT AND I GET IT. BUT I LIKE TO BE CELEBRATED FOR BEING DIFFERENT.
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RHP User
14 years ago
send me ur number so we can chat
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RHP User
14 years ago
if I can sleep at night, I'm doing ok. Cheers Felonius
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Genius_Ironman
14 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' Let me say, without modesty or boasting, that I am highly intelligent. My own IQ lies above the ninetieth percentile. What good is intelligence when you do nothing with it. ... I regularly competed in the City to Surf and would run 8km daily as a youth.99.9th %ile + and doing the Marathon this year. :) (Well, Jens started it.)
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RHP User
14 years ago
The amount of notches on my bed post.Kiddingg!!
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