M59 F47
How to handle hubs getting rejected
September 17 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
This is a common occurrence and we've faced it a few times. Fortunately I am confident enough in myself that I don't let it get to me.Like you this is a journey we are on together, and we don't play alone. I think that is made pretty clear in our profiles but some still try it on. But if they can't read our profiles and understand what we are after they are immediately blocked. Simple as that.
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RHP User
13 years ago
all we can say is that if its your choice to never play alone (ours as well) then stick toyour digs and only ever play as a couple....make it clear from word one, and people will respect your decision if they are decent types..if they dont...do you really want to know them?
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RHP User
13 years ago
also have a look at your ages you have listed on your profile....I think you have them round the wrong way, just to save any possible playmates confusion.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Might just be me but that seems intensely disrespectful! Each to their own I guess, but the only time I have ever played with one half of a couple one on one was at their instigation. I would generally respect their relationship if they said they only play together. But then again, I am a single guy not a couple. Feeling a bit conflicted now, might have to go and have a ponder!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'DontGrabThat' also have a look at your ages you have listed on your profile....I think you have them round the wrong way, just to save any possible playmates confusion. ?? I just checked. The ages are correct. M45 F33 .. was it saying something different??
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RHP User
13 years ago
We think Mike and Shel are spot on. Dont budge.....only play together. Its a couples game and there is no way we would entertain open relationships etc.
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redhotozz
13 years ago
I'll presume you have pics of both of you in your PG, so if they agree to meet, then make that offer, then they should already know what you both look like. We've been on the site for a long long time, and have not had that happen to us before - I'd say its unusual.If its not what you want, say so, but trust us, what you describe in your post is pretty rare.
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RHP User
13 years ago
you shouldn't do it until you have had some/many experiences together
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Two_Tarts
13 years ago
We only do things as a couple and make that plain in our profile. If anyone suggested that either of us should play alone to the exclusion of the other we would take that as being plainly disrespectful to our relationship and we would have no hesitation in telling them exactly where to get off (and that wouldn't be with us). Everybody has a right to choose who they do and don't like to play with and sometimes that means saying "thanks, but no thanks" when you have found the limit of what works for you. That this might cause some hurt feelings is a clear possibility and so we all try to do that in as honest and kind a way as we can and hope that the others will understand and move on to look for a better match. But nobody has the right to intrude into, or in any way seperate, others relationships for their own selfish enjoyment unless that option has been offered freely. If you didn't offer to play seperately then their suggestion is just plain rude and we would hope that on behalf of both you and your husband you told them to go get lost. While we have played seperately with good long term friends it is something that we still choose not to do except in the very rarest of circumstances. While we are individuals we remain very committed to each other and so for us this is about us as a couple indulging ourselves and each other as a couple, so its a package deal or its no deal. Finding other couples where all four people fancy each other enough can be hard but there are a lot of really fantastic couples out there and so in our opinion you just have to remain focused on each other, keep looking together, and keep enjoying the journey together whatever strange or confronting adventures it may bring.
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RHP User
13 years ago
you have to take the good with the bad really and this is part of it, as others have said, stick with your rules and dont change them to suit others, it may take some time but eventually you will find couples that are after the same things as you and it will have been worth the wait.You do have some rather specific things you are after and it wont be to everyone's taste, and of course gettting the dynamic right between all four people can be quite the challenge, the thing to remember is that when a couple arent into your hubby (or it may even happen at some point that it is you they are not as into) it is not a personal thing, just there is not an attraction so remove the personal aspect and keep looking I am sure there are people you will meet who will not be to your taste and you will find yourself in the position of saying no to them.When you start out it is very hard not to take it personally but as you go on it gets easier.This game tends to be more of a marathon than a sprint and meeting people online is way more difficult than you would think, maybe you could try some private parties or clubs as a way of meeting people, that way you can meet more people at once, and find someone who you all get along with, I know it is not for everyone but the people whom we have met through private parties and clubs seem to be the people we get along best with, because you are not relying on info in a profile and pics alone you meet them face to face from the start you see what kind of people they are and if there is an attraction there.Just be patient and remember that this is supposed to be fun, if it isnt fun then change what you are doing or maybe think about if it is really something you want to do?? for us if it is too complicated or not fun we wont be in it (thankfully we havent found that yet lol)Good luck guys,Mrs
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RHP User
13 years ago
Common occurence but if you're in this together, then don't go play on ur own (alteast not without his approval :)), specially if his ego has already taken a hit. Both need to be secure in ur relationship first, otherwise it'll turn sour quickly. I'm sure there are lots of people out there who would love to play with you both hehe and it'll evolve from there....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi ya, We can relate with you quite well as there's 10 and a half years between us and on a few occasions we've been asked to "separate" for others needs, which we're not interested in. Couples who expect that from you aren't worth it, as its not a one way street. As mentioned by others, stick to your guns and try not to let a few bumps in the road dampen your journey. When we ventured into this lifestyle we thought, "this should be easy" Ha, we soon found out that its not, as we all have different desires, and can't connect with everyone. So be it! There seems to be too much focus on ages and not the actual couple. We've found that meeting couples at the various swingers clubs is a whole lot easier than on the sites, as you can get to meet the person, not the pic.
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RHP User
13 years ago
play as a couple only......... you will find couples try to get you on your own as they are really only looking for a female.. We have a age gap too, but we havent had that issue alot........ we do get alot of couple who make contact and then ask if only one of them can come around........... Stick to your rules and that will give him his confidence back..
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RHP User
13 years ago
We've come across the issue of couples trying to separate us. We are a package deal. Haven't really come across any age issues. I guess they know what they are in for if they contact us :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yep....it had them swapped round the other way, i checked 3 times before I said anything lol All good now
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RHP User
13 years ago
i would give their ego a slap. Your criteria for meets is clear. so if they try on the "we arent into him" so they can just have you you tell them that you arent into her/him/them. it sounds like they are after a single lady only and find it easier to chase a couple and seek to drop the guy and take the girl.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks everyone!I think because it was our first time we jumped into it without really sussing everything out!Since then we've had some lovely interactions with 'couples' who have been very generous with their time and....... I am enjoying this site
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RHP User
13 years ago
You really are :) Quoting 'cupcakefortwo' Thanks everyone!I think because it was our first time we jumped into it without really sussing everything out!Since then we've had some lovely interactions with 'couples' who have been very generous with their time and....... I am enjoying this site
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RHP User
13 years ago
hahaha are you trying to butter me up?? Quoting 'fwb2570hotmale' You really are :) Quoting 'cupcakefortwo' Thanks everyone!I think because it was our first time we jumped into it without really sussing everything out!Since then we've had some lovely interactions with 'couples' who have been very generous with their time and....... I am enjoying this site
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RHP User
13 years ago
No. What would be the point. Butter would just melt on your hotness. Quoting 'cupcakefortwo' hahaha are you trying to butter me up?? Quoting 'fwb2570hotmale' You really are :) Quoting 'cupcakefortwo' Thanks everyone!I think because it was our first time we jumped into it without really sussing everything out!Since then we've had some lovely interactions with 'couples' who have been very generous with their time and....... I am enjoying this site
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RHP User
13 years ago
No big surprise there though, hey. Still, we've kind of set myself up for it as we haven't bothered setting up a couple's profile yet. We have intended to but, for the moment, we don't have the time (kids, work, chores etc.) Jennylee joined to meet other ladies but she has noted on her profile that she will play with couples, if I'm included. People rarely read right through a profile and so they get angry when they find out. C'est la vie. I am aware that people will always try their luck with one half of a couple and can understand it but I hope they aren't stroppy about it when they get knocked back.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Do what makes you happy don't fold under to what they want :) You will find a couple that will want you both it just takes time It's a lot harder for 4 people to click then 2
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RHP User
13 years ago
Why are there mainly pics of the women on couples sites?? Come on boys........ (I know we dont have any pics yet but we joined about half an hour ago!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
these couple just had to ask really... but have you setup the rules? as in we only play as couple not just one of us.and next time if the issue happening again, keep it quiet and dont tell me, nothing worst than being rejected.get a good session going to heal that bruised ego of him and devour him !
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RHP User
13 years ago
Cupcakefortwo,I am 10 year older then my wife and she has an amazing body, where as I am just a naturally thin build.The people that we have met have always liked her but not me so much.So I can understand what your husband is feeling.But we have always said nothing happens with out the other half being in the mix.Stick to what you planned in the first place, You will find people around that are happy to play with both you and your other half.
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RHP User
13 years ago
It does you a favour by showing you the people you 'dont' want. Plenty of good people out there who would never be so rude..... Next please....
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RHP User
13 years ago
We've had this happen a few times in both directions. One couple was keen to meet us, said they played together but turned out they just wanted a man for the woman! Another just wanted me and not my husband. Personally I think once you've seen the photos and you see we like to play together or swap, then don't meet us if you only want one if us. I have learnt to talk to the woman and clearly say this. Our time is precious and my husband is the best lover one will ever have so if your not interested and only want me, then say so!! Likewise if the man has seen my photos and isn't attracted then say so or else I end up flirting on the night and then being rejected. We are on this site ultimately to play. Not sure why it's so hard!!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I told em flat out nuh were a team together so no... Just find another couple that are better!!! U always will have hits and misses, - Posted from rhpmobile
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