F47
I wanna Know
January 16 2009
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
Shan, everyone uses the old chestnut.... "Its a swingers site" And you hit the nail on the head.. it should be about respect, however, unless you write it in neon flashing lights that you are an exclusive couple, others will continue trying to get into one or the other's pants. More so if they are attractive people. Just MHO Viking
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think that the end of the day its a swingers site, not a social site. If you just want to socialise go to facebook or something, also depends what they still have in their profiles. Just because they become a couple doesn't mean they dont want to have fun anymore, otherwise why be here. PH
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RHP User
17 years ago
all i have to say is.. I agree totally with VB xx
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RHP User
17 years ago
Well, i can tell your here just for the sex??? So sad for you.. i chat in the WA social room.. and have made soo many friends in there.. that we see socially.. House warmin parties.. New years Eve. Birthdays drinks.. ( AND NO...WE DO NOT SWING OR HAVE SEX AT THESE PARTIES) too bad your just here for the sex.. and if a couple have met on here.. and are an item.. they have every right to still chat in here and make new friends.. yes..it is a swingers site.. but there is nowhere that its written.. IT"S JUST A SWINGERS SITE.....GEEZ!!
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RHP User
17 years ago
This is NOT a swingers site. A Swinger site is for COUPLES only looking for Swinging with other couples. THAT is the definition of SWINGING in terms of Sexual Adventures. Now rhp has also got Single guys and single gals joining in the fun. This means teh site is now a "Sex Playing Site".. or in short "Players" Of course, you got the Gays and the Lesbians.. thus RHP also includes GAYDAR rolled into it. SO what does this site represent? A SEXUAL SOCIAL SITE for SEXUAL ADVENTURERS. Or in short: "Fun Playground" 'Sides, go to any function.. its still a social place anyways.. regardless :) Now.. if everyone understands this.. then therefore.. one must know the respect for everyone's wishes is foremost above all thing else.
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RHP User
17 years ago
An excellent question shan let me know if you come up with an excellent answer. I have been attached for about a year now but maintain my single profile - mostly inertia but I have heard too many stories from others about how hard it is to change from one to the other - and frankly I am not seeing any up side. Id rather know which half of a couple I am speaking to anyway. Bless the try hards every one. cheers Damo
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RHP User
17 years ago
Its not all about swinging. As a RHP couple its also about forming friendships and sociallising with a group of people who share the same sexual/social interests as yourselves. Some a little different from others no doubt. But we respect each others desires and needs. Theres no other place i know where a group of such different people can all come together and have a great time and share experiences openly. But as Shanlei has stated, there are a few who dont respect that you are partnered. Theres always going to be the guy/girl that you have perhaps always wanted to meet or chat to before you become a couple. Sure, we have had a few, but they have always respected the fact that were together now and if they still want to be friends then all good. If it goes any further well all good there to, aslong as both parties agree. In the past an unpleasant situation did happen between us and another woman who was supposely a friend, a married friend. It was a very stressful time as i was pregnant. As a swinging couple our rules were set from the start. She couldnt respect our rules at all, so my answer was no. I also think coming into the chat room you need to be very open minded and not take a little honest flirting too serious. After all its a sex site. Id like to think that the chat room is place where you can discuss all topics and have a great laugh. Sex can be a funny subject. Grav would have to be one of the biggest flirts but its all in good humour. As a couple you need to have great communication and trust.We would hate to think that we had upset or disrespected someone. It always in good fun. Why people do it Shanlei, maybe you would have to ask them. They obviously cant respect that your attached and maybe also jealous. Im sure as a couple you both decide who you swing or sociallise with as we do. People can try all they want but in the end its a joint decision who we swing with and if one partner says no, being for what ever reason, then its NO!!. Just friends is always an option and if they cant respect that, then block them. Leelee xxx
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Firery
17 years ago
Quote "This is NOT a swingers site. A Swinger site is for COUPLES only looking for Swinging with other couples. THAT is the definition of SWINGING in terms of Sexual Adventures. Now rhp has also got Single guys and single gals joining in the fun. This means teh site is now a "Sex Playing Site".. or in short "Players""End Quote I think your definition of Swinging is a little differant to others, we do NOT think it is limited to couples only, if so that eliminates 3somes with another girl or guy, 4somes and all sorts of other combo's unless it is with another couple only. Also if RHP is NOT a swingers site, then we see and read alot of events for swingers parties private and commercial ones. Uless we are wrong this is a SWINGERS Site and had always been promoted as one. Thanks Nat & Bob
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Firery
17 years ago
Perhaps RHP themselves would like to comment on this thread and let us all know if this is a Swingers site or a Social site only? Personally we think its both of them and more, but if its NOT going to have anything to do with Swinging anymore well we need to know this.
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Firery
17 years ago
This is easily seen on the welcome page before you login. Quote "RedHotPie is Australia ’s largest online adult dating site with webcam chat, singles events & dating articles. Singles dating is for girls & guys looking to meet friends, find love & relationships. Uncut adult dating is for singles and swingers looking for a little more fun; casual dating, swingers clubs, adult chat rooms, forums, adult swingers parties, adult personals & sex stories" End Quote It clearly says Swingers looking for a little more fun, so we think that answers your Sparty when you say this is NOT a swingers site.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Whether you use this site to socialise or you use it to look for sex or love or just friendship ,it is promoted as a adult swingers type sex site. People put pictures of themselves performing sex acts on the site and they advertise swingers clubs and parties.The profile ask what you are looking for and most of it revolves around sex. So no one should be suprised here that people will contact you looking for sex. Thats not to say people should be rude or aggressive towards another member and as with swinging no means no , if someone is not interested leave them alone. My 2 cents :)
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RHP User
17 years ago
It is a swingers site.. but its MORE than just a swingers site.. that is the point im trying to make. SOME ple think its a site just purely for sex. Most thinks its purely for social gathering with potential fun. The latter is what I think it is. Those SOME ple that think it just for sex, are the ones that bombard the inbox with some stupid pick up lines in effort to get laid without bothering to read the profile to really truly understand what the profile owner's really is after. Or go into chat room and demands things. These are the one that dont RESPECT members. They dont see members as individuals with personalities and such. Hence the point of me saying "more of a Sexual social site.. etc" SParty Ps: oh thank you for your effort in your research. This is the stuff we need to see and discuss about. And I DO agree the RHP should pop in and say a few words. Even tho it help us clarify a few things, but it wont solve the "some" ple i mentioned above, for they just continue to walk in with their dick leading the way :P
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RHP User
17 years ago
Please don't take the fololowing personally but "shanlei" 1/. Your profile, It says your a "Female", for sexual participation says - "Open for anything", and your general sexual orientation is "Bi-Sexual", your looking for a "MAN" At this point I'd have to say if you check your "Compatibility" score with any of the MEN that hit on you, you will see they are like 80 to 99% right for what you have expressed as your ideal match, for sex or friendship or what ever else your after. So I hate to say this "DON'T BLAME THE GUY'S WHO HIT ON YOU!" IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT It's just the way the the site is optimised You probably don't know this but People "Guy's & Couples" and the odd single woman PAY to access this site, and I'm sure they wouldn't really pay as much as they do if it was just to chit chat about the latest movie or what's on TV, or to go to a meet or BBQ just to smile at each other and enjoy the many other pain in the arse boring chap most of you waffle in the chat rooms or forums. I agree it's not all just about SEX, or SWINGING or FRIENDSHIP or COMMUNITY, although all these things make up part of the site which all in all keeps it going day in day out, FFS this place would be boring without all the characters, the nice and not so nice ones... so please I know it's not fun sometimes, but you take it or leave it, no one is forcing you to login. Also it's not like you've actually made a big investment yourself in the site, sounds like most of you have gotten a lot out of it though. Congratulations RHP I think you have a thriving community, whether they like it or not! Have a wonderful day!
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RHP User
17 years ago
Maybe rhp can do a section, i'm here for friendships, coffees, lunches and chatting in the room only, don't bug me for sex or i will chew your head off. And by the way, im really flirtatious too, so watch out babe, here I come :-)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Just because a something is designed to be used one way doesn't mean it cant be used others... At the end of the day it's a tool to find people to do whatever you are looking for with. Whether that be socializing or sex. A tool can be used by different people different ways. G_A
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RHP User
17 years ago
if you are a couple and dont want others to hit on you get of the site talk to your friends on the phone. if you stay on the site expect to get hit on harden up
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RHP User
17 years ago
It can happen anywhere, anyhow and/or anytime. Doesn't just happen here on rhp. Something we just come up against sometimes in life. Here in the world of rhp, I agree that if you wish to maintain single profiles, then expect to get hit on. Although if you and your partner have complete trust in each other and communicate openly then it shouldn't matter who or what might try to come between you. It is about respect but so many of those here seeking instant sex have none. Neither do the judgemental people here, they are so quick to make assumptions and dish out abuse. Mainly it is the trust factor, something so many people find hard, there is too much deciet and dishonesty. Hey...... It's rhp.... And it takes all kinds. Remember...... Love conquers all! xxx
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Firery
17 years ago
Quote Sparty "It is a swingers site.. but its MORE than just a swingers site.. that is the point im trying to make. SOME ple think its a site just purely for sex. Most thinks its purely for social gathering with potential fun. The latter is what I think it is. Those SOME ple that think it just for sex, are the ones that bombard the inbox with some stupid pick up lines in effort to get laid without bothering to read the profile to really truly understand what the profile owner's really is after." End Quote Sparty its good to se you admit its a SWINGING site, as to your other comments we wish to take you on again. Well you say SOME ppl think its just about sex, most think its purely for social gathering with potential fun. You may feel that you are in the majority, ok we offer you this challenge, to put it to the test, like your other thread, put it to the vote, go on we dare you? This is not the chat room this is the full on RHP. Do you accept the challenge?????
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RHP User
17 years ago
a challange!! meh.. no matter what wager, bet, challange i accept, even tho im 100% sure i'd win.. i always lose .. but fook it.. go right ahead.. start a voting poll thingy on this subject. I am curious to see how many many RHP members see this site as. :) Perhaps RHP officials might do that special Polling thing .. *thinks ponderingly*
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RHP User
17 years ago
The comment not from me but from an online dictionary, maybe not the best reference but so easy to find lol. Swinging 1. a person or thing that swings. 2. Slang. a lively, active, and modern person whose activities are fashionable or trendy. 3. Slang. a. a person who indulges in promiscuous sex. b. a person who engages in the exchanging of spouses for sexual activities. Seems to me its not Just about couples? The appreciation to Sweet_N_Sour_Couple... Thanks a heap from a single guy for saying a lot of what was on his mind. He just didn't feel he could get away with saying it himself without becoming public enemy number one. You have my gratitude :)
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RHP User
17 years ago
If you people could see the light.... You would just LET IT GO! I thought shanlei was asking a genuine question and it has become all about rhp and peoples personal gripes.....Huh??? Let's Make Love not War! xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
One of the more interesting topics on the forum. Redhotpie is whatever you want it to be. The site's founders clearly had a purpose in mind - and the official mission statement clearly includes social as well as dating parameters. One of my best mates was told by her mum that places like redhotpie attract more interesting people than those boring social only chat sites and I agree 100%. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having no agenda beyond socialising on rhp. Its not the reason I joined but it is the reason I am still around. I have met some fascinating people. Other people I have been friends with for years have come out about some of their kinkier fetishes. Fantastic stuff! I think it is one of the great strengths of RHP that there is such diversity in why people are here. The problem with not recognising that diversity is that some people make assumptions about what other people are here for. If there is a lesson here it is that you shouldn't assume, which brings us back to Shanlei's original point.
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RHP_Editor
17 years ago
Firstly thanks shanlei for a really interesting post and to all that have contributed with equally interesting reponses. We have enjoyed reading this one so far here at the Pie HQ and look forward to more having their say. We have now made this post 'Global' (which is internal speak for ticking a little box to make the post viewable in all states Aust. wide) so we should see some more responses from everywhere. There seems to be a majority view so far that RHP can be whatever you want it to be and on the subject of an official 2 cents worth from RHP itself I'm told that there will be some words of wisdom from our fearless co-founders coming soon. If there is some interest in polling pie people (ummm...did that come out right?) then maybe there could be a collective coming together for the right question and some possible answer choices and we'll see what we can do with it. We look forward to reading more and thanks to all you guys and girls who contribute to the Forums, you all make RHP the interesting and fun place it is. Please don't stop. Big hugs, Ed -
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RHP User
17 years ago
Is why you're asking a question about not being accepted as a loving couple, from a single woman's profile? For the records no i've never even messaged the woman so you can count out the grudge factor ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
shanlei.... red hot pie has many threads on couples... males seeking couples... or couples seeking males....couples seeking couples...women seeking couples....couples seeking women... then depending on sexual orientations like one of the partners of the couple being bisexual can alter who is being pleasured and the rules of the sexual encounter..... where Im concerned in my dealings with couples...I let them see me on thier terms...they phone me...and if we meet at our favorite sexual venue this does not mean that we are going to have sex or I shepherd them the rest of the night in hope they may change thier mind....If you choose your sex partners wisely and define your rules of engagement you should find you get respect from other red hot pie members that you engage with.....cheers astralwalker
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RHP User
17 years ago
tinker_65 Yes i am here for sex...foremost... read my profile girl and dont be so judgemental.. enjoy PH
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RHP User
17 years ago
Shan, I have read (and re-read some) of the replys to your post. Grudges and bitching aside it seems everyone has an opinion on something. I'm no different but will try my best to stick to your question. Over the years, whether it be in the work place, nightclubs, pubs, circles of friends etc etc.. I have found that there will always be someone who can't respect that your in a relationship and therefor "not available". I've had women walk up to my partners in nightclubs and grab their cock right in front of me. Now I know that at CI you'd get thrown out for that. Funny that it is at a swingers club that the rules force people to show some respect. We get approached on RHP by women wanting to spend one on one time with my partner and then men wanting the same with me. Even though we have specified in our profile that we only want to be with a single lady and we don't play without each other. But alot of people don't care to read that far into the profile and well, more fool them. I understand it is frustrating, even annoying, for some people as it does show a lack of respect but I just shrug my shoulders and ignore them. If they can't take the time to read our profile then I'm not taking the time to reply. There is a general lack of respect from society in most things. From pushing in at the supermarket to just plain manners. It is a shame that every facet of morals and common courtesy in society these days seems to have taken a down hill plunge but every now and then you'll meet someone who makes up for the rest. In short, read peoples profile before deciding to flirt or message them.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Have you read "The Housewarming Write Up?" thread...considering they don't swing or have sex at these parties pmsl MrsP :-P
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RHP User
17 years ago
I forgot to include a response to your question... I haven't responded before because I found your question a bit too broad... I wasn't sure if you meant that people still contact 'the couple' thru their single profiles, which while you may have updated to say you are only looking for friends, doesn't mean that people actually read it (happens a lot on here apparently), or if they do, respect that. Other than that, I can only imagine you mean at the 'social parties' where there is no sex or swinging and everyone is 'friends' in which case you wouldn't think there would be anything like 'cracking' onto people going on. MrsP xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think we have gone off the track with this post, and i may as well keep going off the track. I must be losing my marbles or something, but i really thought that it was essentially a sex site, which isn;t too say that you cant just make friends or socialise along the way, or even find your partner. If it wasn;t a sex site, then why are we allowed to post naked pics etc of ourselves, advertise parties and list our sexual interests etc. I'm here for sex only anyway. I have other people on my other life i can socialise with. Some of you make it sound like it is not a good thing to be on here and want to connect with someone for sex. Well i'm enjoying myself here anyway cheers
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RHP User
17 years ago
My opinion for what it's worth is that this is a site that you make out of it, swingers, dating, coffee, what ever. It's a bit more risque than RSVP and the like, so I'm of my own humble opinion that if someone is looking for lifelong companion or whatever, there is RHP dating as well. I think this a gr8 site, cause it also is an icebreaker in regards to preferences etc. If someone is looking for a partner to share dreams etc, go for it, but as someone up the line in the posts said, you will be hit on by numerous not after the thing you may want. God i hope that makes sense cause it's too damn hot today!!! So i hope everybody has a lovely day/night and stay cool. Hot_cop (Hotter cause of the heat)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Lol I think in a country somewhere it is customary to suck the nipples of the new occupants of a abode and to pass the sucking around to wish all of your new neighbours a great sucking life. Well I think its a great idea and there should be more of it. But yes I get your point lmfgdao PH
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RHP User
17 years ago
thanks for the explanation lol ;-) PP xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hey Shan...Can you start cracking on to Leelee for me please....so me and your man can go out fishing. Always polite to at least ask...if you dont ask you dont get..PS can we film it so were not missing out. Its ok Leelee wont mind..not that ive asked her, pmsl. Keep it between us ...wink wink!!! Grav :P
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RHP User
17 years ago
I have to agree with luckytwo and sweet_n_sour_cpl.... but its also up to ourselves to clearly show in our profile what where looking for.... if we advertise then expect people to contact you.... and yes... some.... are going to read into your profile things that are wrong...no big deal,,,just thamks but no thanks...cheers astralwalker.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hi all we read most of the posts on rhp and do belive that u can have have a swingers site for swinging and for purly social activities with out jumping into bed and bonking ppl The bigist problem with this site is ppl not being honest with there profiles and that has nothing to do with the rhp crew that runs the site Now to respond to Shanlei post i think if u r in exclusive relationship then u should put that on your profile that u r not looking at the moment unfortunately some just dont read profile propley as we have the same problem with unwanted messages from single guys and it is not just from single guys evry one has done it at onetime or another so all we can say is lets all respect evry one for who they r as we all walk down a different road and some times or roads may cross
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DonnaBrett
17 years ago
It's pretty simple..if you don't want singles , couples, groups or whatever making contact with either one of you, close your profiles down. If you want to play as a couple only..make a couples profile and state that you only play together....but from the way your question reads it sounds like you should not be on here at all. Just an observation..
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RHP User
17 years ago
judgemental????? lololol.. i was only putting my 2 cents across.. if your here just for sex.. go for it..and good luck.. but by no means.. is there anywhere written... RHP IS JUST A SEX SITE.. enjoy xx
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RHP User
17 years ago
its funny, both me and my partner have closed down our singles profiles, funny that. But if people read my question properly they will notice, it was a generalised question and WAS NOT about me or my partner, its just an observation we have made. SO STOP ATTACKING ME personally when its not about me at all. I think alot of people that have commented in here have takes such a simple wuestion too far, and even got off the subject at hand to attack other members, thanks for ruining my post
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RHP User
17 years ago
Wow, that was alot to read. Haha. Ok, this is my 2 cents. If you wanna shag.. shag. You looking for new friend, make some. You want a good perve, Perve away! At the end of the day, we all come here because we all have a healthy appetite for sex. Thats what we all have in common. If you have an active profile on this site how can you complain when someone hits on you or your partner? It doesnt matter if you have clearly stated on your profile that you are "not interested in sex" ... Sadly, some people dont even bother to look at profiles. If you have stated "not interested in sex" on ur profile, and someone does hit on you or your partner... is it really that hard to just say "Sorry, not interested"? I honestly think that if you expect not to be hit on just because your in a realtionship... then you shouldnt be on this site. The one thing brought us all to to this site. SEX! If someone takes a fancy to you dont criticise them for it. Take it as a compliment! and politely decline. Simply.... call this site whatever you want. Use it however you want to. But if you cant accept that some people use it ONLY for sex... then you shouldnt be here.
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RHP User
17 years ago
hmm something i have noticed peachy pear! you ahve attacked every single post i have written, ..... why is that? have i hto a nerve with you or something, strange i dont even know you, not that it matters anyways lol
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RHP User
17 years ago
Great post. You summed it all up perfectly. cheers
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RHP User
17 years ago
shanlei_dte1973! "hmm something i have noticed peachy pear! you ahve attacked every single post i have written, ..... why is that? have i hto a nerve with you or something, strange i dont even know you, not that it matters anyways lol" Thanks for the laugh :-D I had to check your profile cos I wondered how my adolescent daughter had gotten onto RHP... As far as I remember, I have only 'responded' to 2 of your posts... The first was TIT_witches “Question” thread in the Couples Corner. If you want to call the fact that I disagreed with you and provided a clear explanation as to why I felt that way an attack, that can't be helped. The second is this thread, where I thought I should do the right thing and answer your original question after intruding to post in response to PertHedonist (Very clever name btw PertH) twice. I should point out that while I do post under our couple profile, I take total responsibility for what I write which is why I sign my posts 'MrsP' not peachpear.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Seems to me we have such a broad range of people in here. From those that love the social aspect of sharing their time with others of like mind. An interest in sex but requiring that it be a get to know each other, flirt, spend time together before it happens approach. Lots of meets, flirting... social sex. The other end of the spectrum. Explorative, adventurous souls who can enjoy a sexual encounter with virtually anyone within their sexual preference as long as they don't actually dislike them. And yes, there are females, though more often couples like that in here :). Lots of males like that, or think they're like that, of course. Though a smack on the wrist for anyone thinking its all of them "tsk". And of course all levels between the two are represented here as well. One might consider someone closer to the other end of the spectrum coarse or vulgar, while that same other may consider them time waster. Both are right of course, from thier own perspective ;) I don't go messaging anyone that is not looking for a single male. Nor do i waste their time or mine by messaging anyone who is biased more toward the social side of the sexual site. Its not appreciated that i don't message someone like Shanlei simply because she will not ever hear from me. Nor from many of the other respectful, but different people like me. In the forums what is meant as a simple statement from one party can easily be interpreted as controversial by someone living their lives more toward the other end of the spectrum. That doesn't mean we can't all get along. Just means we have to be a little understanding. We should appreciate the diversity, there is a lot we can learn from each other even if we often don't agree with each other lol. I don't think Peachy attacked you Shanlei, i think she simply disagreed with you ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Missed your post at first until Desserts drew my attention to it. I'm not hitting on you as you way too young for me lol. Just offering a little respect. You're a pretty cluey lil lass for your age :) We should all live and learn... ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
haha your amusing peachpear. Would love to meet you one day, think youd be funny in person BWAHAHAHAHAHHA SHAN
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RHP User
17 years ago
umm, i dont think ive ever stated that you have messaged me or tried to cracko on to me did i?.... NOPE I DIDNT. have you not noticed that everyone has got off the subject at hand and have taken it upon them selves to make it something else or a grudge match, i was stating a fair and simple question on every couples behalf. I was not having a go at anyone. i was raising an interesting topic, but obviously rhp chatters have gone and ruined a good post again, no wonder i dont mix with most of you, apart from the " real" people on rhp and that i have become close to. take over peachy pear and woody, the stage is yours im over people assuming things and taking the post off the real subject, im wiping my hands of it.. goodluck
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RHP User
17 years ago
Someone clearly got a nerve hit, more than once by the look and no it wasn't you was it MrsP. I think you're a hoot and enjoy reading your posts, it's all a bit of fun. Unfortunately things are taken personally too much. Lot of frustration for a sex site..... Hehehehehe XXX
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RHP User
17 years ago
In reply to the original post........ There are new people joining RHP everyday that havent been here for years. So it is reasonable for them to believe that a single profile is just that, a single profile. So they may send a flirt or message to that profile. They may have no idea that the person in said profile started out single and have now hooked up with another to become a couple. It takes a bit to find your way around the site and figure out all the little quirks that make it tick. Also if one doesnt enter the WA chat room it would be very hard to realise just how some of the people are conected as friends and/ or lovers. Just my opinion. I hope shanlei that I have read your question right. Cheers Mrs xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
sarahboo...wow...I loved what you had to say :-) MrsP :-Deb
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RHP User
17 years ago
Sarahboo, Its about time someone finally said it as it is!!!!!!! and should be.. Well said chick!!!
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RHP User
17 years ago
well i have meet a lovely lady off rhp i was on a couples profile when i first join but we have split not so long ago but the person i did meet off here has change my life around by saying that i have changed my profile to only social meets only as i want to b devoted 2 her and she still chats in the rooms to guys and i have no problem with it as i know she wont go and see any1 behind my back as we have built up trust in each other and we dont want 2 spoil what we have so i dont thing if u meet some1 off here u shouldnt try and crack on2 any one else
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RHP User
17 years ago
All i got to say is some people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones the fucker will smash and you be left with no house simple TIT
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RHP User
17 years ago
GROW UP CHILDREN NEED I SAY MORE? dazi
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RHP User
17 years ago
'umm, i dont think ive ever stated that you have messaged me or tried to cracko on to me did i?.... NOPE I DIDNT.'... Woody didn't say that either...I thought he was trying to explain that because of our different expectations some of us (using himself as an example) won't make contact (using shanlei as an example) with others out of respect. But the people that aren't being contacted aren't going to know that...kinda obviously lol. Bit hard to put into words. I understood that Woody's post was simply trying to explain that there are people with many levels of expectation on RHP who see things differently from their own point of view which makes it easy for disagreements to occur. We have a choice to try to learn from each other even if we don't agree :-D 'i was stating a fair and simple question on every couples behalf.'... I assume you mean couples that have gotten together on RHP that have chosen to no longer be involved on the sexual side of things. 'no wonder i dont mix with most of you, apart from the " real" people on rhp and that i have become close to.'... I chose not to become involved with your “real” people because of our different goals on RHP...I respect the fact that just because their goals are different from my goals doesn't make them any the less real. 'take over peachy pear and woody, the stage is yours im over people assuming things and taking the post off the real subject, im wiping my hands of it.. goodluck...' I am not sure why you have singled out Woody and I...out of all the people who have disappointed you on this thread...I gather it has to do with your perception that I have attacked every single post you have written. I did point out that I have only ever responded to two of your posts that I know of and had hoped you might provide some support for your attack on me but was disappointed by your response 'haha'. I would like to suggest that it might have been a good idea to say something earlier if you didn't like the way your thread was going...perhaps just to clarify what it was you were asking...instead of waiting two weeks. MrsP... lol@peachpear ;-) PS: thanks Busso_Babe...luv the idea I'm a hoot (wise old owl) heeheehee...XXX
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RHP User
17 years ago
I will try and address your original question. In times gone by i have had a couples profile on here and yes guys still try and hit on the female. i dont know why, they just do. could be the same reason why they hit on my current profile even though i specifically state i want married guys over 40 and i get single guys over and under 40 messaging me. Maybe they think they will give it a shot to see what happens. Either way it doesn;t really matter, you either do the polite thing and say thanks but no thanks or you just block them. It isn't really an issue after all it is the internet. It is not like they are actually knocking on your door.
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RHP User
17 years ago
'There seems to be a majority view so far that RHP can be whatever you want it to be... If there is some interest in polling pie people (ummm...did that come out right?) then maybe there could be a collective coming together for the right question and some possible answer choices and we'll see what we can do with it.' Would RHP forum readers like to see a poll on how people see RHP?...we have been offered a fine opportunity to come together for the right question and some possible answer choices. Anyone got any ideas?
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Firery
17 years ago
shanlei_dte1973 we do believe this tread is on topic as your original topic covers alot more than just someone hitting onto someone else. It is a broad question and to answer it there is many reasons why people may do it. Alot of this thread was the discussion of Swingers etc, well people may read a single persons profile and think hhmmm this person sounds like what I am seeking so they then contact that person because they have a SINGLE PERSONS PROFILE. Couples may contact a single persons profile (male or female) single males may contact a single persons profile, single ladies may contact a single persons profile, single people may contact couples. To put it bluntly profiles are there for people to read and see if there is a compatibility, that to us is the reasons for profiles in the first place. So maybe you shanlei_dte1973 can see perhaps why people and you put it quote "I wanna know why other people on rhp think its ok to still try to crack on the woman or man from the couple, and why they still think they are fair game!" end quote Maybe shanlei_dte1973 those they are doing this think its a single profile and I like what I read in their profile, hmmmm I will contact them and see where it leads. Simple hey :o) We do NOT think people are doing it to try to break people up etc etc. If the person receiving the contact via their profile is not interested there are some options they can take, reply politely saying no thanks, or using the inbuilt quick replies or dont even bother to respond. There is nothing hard in that at all. shanlei_dte1973 as you have stated this is not about you or your profile, be it the single ones you both had originally and now closed or what ever. So take this thread and replies and good advice for your friends it is happening to, perhaps they have read this thread and found ways to handle and deal with it. shanlei_dte1973 we also hope this post of our helps to answer your original post and maybe gives you some insight into it all. At the end of the day everyone uses RHP for their own reasons even there NOT in minority swingers. We are ourselves looking forward to the powers that be from RHP posting their words of wisdom as mentioned by the RHP Editor and YES we would like to see the Poll in fact look forward to it. We have found this an interesting topic and feel it is a good read for people, just some of the last posts from you shanlei_dte1973 we feel were kind of defensive. It made us think you didnt receive the answers you were hoping for. As to this site, we WILL continue to use it for Swinging purposes as thats what we are here for. We have been members here for a very long time and although not members currently we were for many years as it was a good tool for us when we managed Cluboz.
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RHP User
17 years ago
A post that VB might be interested in... a good fisherman uses many kinds of bait.. and many sizes of hook depending on what he's looking to catch... Some fish need to be burly'ed up, others are only netable. Some are fighters from the deep, others just play dead. Some fishermen can't cast straight & end up crossing lines with all the others on the jetty. What's all this mean??? Everyone on RHP is here for their own reason, using the fishing method they believe will land them a big one. If they cross your line, or arent using the same rig as you.. just smile, give them a wave & continue fishing in your own way
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RHP User
17 years ago
You asked our opinion and we gave it. The topic may have vague but we have done our best despite our individuality to retain it. Your post has been very positive for the site and therefore to us all. Even though you have decided to focus on the negative side. I think, through no fault of your own RHP took an interest in your thread as much because some of the most interesting players happened to come together at the same time as anything else. You've killed that, go back to your meets and parties lol. Yes i've had too much to drink tonight, but thats ok, i'm not actually responsible for anyone else, yet...
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RHP User
17 years ago
We know all the people in here are interested in socialising and sex with different emphasis. I guess we can get an idea of numbers by looking at a lot of profiles and checking all the Participation Levels. I would like a better idea of the numbers though. Just how many of us are purely in the site to meet and enjoy the company of others who are only interested in the idea of sex. How many of us have little time for endless socialising and are more interested in enjoying sex and not just talking about it. How many of us are inbetween and to what degree. If RHP considering a poll i'd like to know the answers to these questions ;) Before Shanlei can "attack" me again lol, i'll point out that this post is related to the thread. You have intimated that you have found completion with your partner and are purely in the site for the social aspect. There are a few people like that in here and no problem as far as i'm concerned, there is room for all of us. Its just that RHP has offered a poll and i am curious about the respective numbers ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
well id like to take the opportunity to express how immature and defensive i have been in this post, totally blaming pms at this stage lol, but people are entitled to their opinions as so am i, i usually dont let petty people bother me but this time they did and for that i apologise, im a little more better than that usually, sorry to those people involved and to tit witch ummm sorry hun this post had nothing to do with you, and there for i didnt personally like your post but thats your parogative i guess, tell your friends with peachy lol
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RHP User
17 years ago
did it again, immaturity on my part, sorry guys, just gonna leave it alone now, cause this is all just bull shit lol, funny im the person who hates petty bullshit, yet i find myself rapped up in it, so hypercritical. ah well takes a bigger woman to ADMIT IT than someone who keeps it going. catchas
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RHP User
17 years ago
'well id like to take the opportunity to express how immature and defensive i have been in this post, totally blaming pms at this stage lol'... I was totally impressed with your 'apology' when I first started reading but crushed by your 'totally blaming PMS' cop out. Your post would have sounded more sincere if you had left that out all together. 'i usually dont let petty people bother me but this time they did and for that i apologise, im a little more better than that usually'... I hoped you could be more specific about who you regard as the 'petty people'? 'sorry to those people involved'... And who you're apologising to? Cos I'm not feeling it... 'and to tit witch ummm sorry hun this post had nothing to do with you, and there for i didnt personally like your post but thats your parogative i guess, tell your friends with peachy lol'... Like woodyperth, I take it you singled out TIT_witch because she appeared to support me. TIT_witch and I don't know each other at all and to the best of my recollection have only ever really come across each other in TIT's thread 'Question', the same thread mentioned earlier. I admire TIT's forthright, honest comments, and that she doesn't feel any need to apologise for them! I'm not saying I agree with them all...no offence meant of course TIT_witch :-D...but I respect her right to have them and express them. 'ah well takes a bigger woman to ADMIT IT than someone who keeps it going'... I believe it takes a bigger 'person' to recognise that other people have opinions that might be different from theirs...that it is ok...and is no reflection on themselves or their beliefs. Did you find ANYTHING positive in the responses that people went out of their way to post for you? Some ARE still trying :-) That would be nice to know. I know that RHP admired the post enough to post their comment, it will be interesting to see what they have to say when they do come up with the 'words of wisdom from our fearless co-founders'. MrsP :-Deb
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RHP User
17 years ago
Shanlie for 1 i do not know PeachyPair ......2 i just put my 2 cents into the post.Like everyone else So don't drag me into your petty attacking of people who had an opinion as well...... TIT
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RHP User
17 years ago
if that was too long for some lol...I do know some won't get it but most will :-D I regret trying to explain something that I really did know some wouldn't try to understand :-) It really was nice hearing SHAN tell the WA room that there were some good responses to her post...I can imagine saying that here would get her a better reception. Thank you RHP for providing us with the forums :-) Mr P says it's better than Neighbours rofpmsl
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RHP User
17 years ago
sounds like you all need to grow up and get a life instead of bitching to and about each other
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RHP User
17 years ago
*plays the bat and ball on string thingy* *thok thok thok thok thok thok thok*
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RHP User
17 years ago
It would appear to me that it take someone with limited intelligence to just simply cut and paste someone else's post rather than intelligently and insightfully carry on a thread..
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RHP User
17 years ago
thanks to all of you have put in "legitimate" posts to my forum. I made the question very general so people so i can see how people interperet my post. Also gives you a much broader topic which willbring out alot of opinions. Gives couples and singles a chance to express themselves and aslo hopefully give you some answers to some of your questions. Me personally havent had this happen to me, but i know of some it has. I had recently discusses this topic with a couple who had genuine concerns and how much it had effected their relationship, and it was sad to see. So i took it upon myself to write this forum to help them understand where people are coming from. I do wish all the couples that are on here the best and i hope this topic does not happen to you, but if your relationship is strong and you have good communication, this topic would not be an issue for you. Good Luck guys Shan
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RHP User
17 years ago
It's not something we would dream of doing. Separately or together...we agree that it's a simple matter of respect. But we don't contact anyone who makes it clear in their profile that they're not looking right now, whatever their reason, either. And, you would think this would be obvious, anyone whose profile we don't match. It is clearly written in our profile that we don't play alone but have still gotten the occasional message asking anyway...the originator of one of those messages asked if we hadn't ever felt like doing something just because we could...a possible answer to your question? Our profile also says, 'Unless they are playing as a couple, people of interest to us will be unattached (both guys & gals)' but we still regularly hear from attached people and in the last few weeks it's mainly been the gals. As an aside, it's funny that the guys usually message and the gals tend to send flirts. We've also had an update on our 'profile title' and at the beginning of 'about us', for the last few weeks to let people know we have found who we were looking for, not just for our benefit but so people aren't wasting their flirts/messages on us...we still get them every week though... We have now set up the auto-reply response to say thanks for the message, explain that we probably won't be replying cos (repeat our update). But also add that we'll use their message to get back to them if things change and they're someone we might be interested in. One way to avoid unwanted attention is to hide your profile, not something we like to do though, cos we imagine, that like ourselves, people reading the forums might like to check it out. But we edit our looking for settings to come up in as few searches as possible. All up, people will do what they will do and say what they will say, sometimes it will make more sense than others, but whatever happens we have no control over it...only over ourselves and our response. 'but if your relationship is strong and you have good communication, this topic would not be an issue for you'... I thought you might have hit the nail on the head and wondered if you thought any of the comments from msroxy's, 'unwritten law' thread in Girls Ask and Secret Women's Business might apply here. PP
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RHP User
17 years ago
What do most people find most pleasurable in their daily lives? Sex. But No. 2 is being with friends. Almost everything we find pleasurable, including eating and drinking, is so much better when doing it with someone else. RHP has the best of both worlds :-D
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RHP User
17 years ago
I see what you mean, but human nature is a weird and wonderful thing, and you will always get the demographic who will try what ever they can to get what they can off this site no matter what. as for gravs post, can I crack on to leelee so you and hubby can go fishing, Please, please...xxxxxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
well u will always have those few that will try, and since they r on a dating type site they wud attract people of interest, so in the end if uve found someone u cud just leave the site if u get fed up with it all, or just ignore them people shud show more respect though, but people must remember that there will always b those who dont have any :P
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Firery
17 years ago
We are bumping this post as we are keen and waiting for the RHP bosses input and the survey :) Hope it all happens soon.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I would like to see a survey, yes, it should also include a section on weeding out fakes.
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