I want to be a submissive and find the right master..

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Look at you now my virgin you have already but started the journey , but always remember the power, that your master holds on you ! The choices master will make for you ! The freedom your master determines for you ! The pleasure and trust your master wants from you ! The pleasure and trust you allow your master to hold on you ! And that is the key to your power always held by you with you and in you , submissive you are but your power gives your master his strength ,. Without it ??!! There shall be no master !! - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  It took me around 6 months to find my Sir........... In that time, I talked to, met and chatted 4 others who definitely did not fit what I was 'comfortable' with.............. I started reading up on fetlife about the BDSM lifestyle and learnt that there were different levels......... I also went through the lists on offer on the web (and some passed onto me by other Masters) to decide what I wanted and didn't want to do, that in itself helps with the nerves.............. The more you learn, the less your nerves are forefront, :) curiosity comes out to play........... The best thing about lists, is that you both know what is allowed and not allowed and where you want to get to as a sub........

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Don't rush!!............. There are some wannabes out there......... Start with Fetlife. Even joining a Munch group is worthwhile, as you can have a lot of your questions answered and get support from like minded people.......... Just remember, BDSM is not an excuse to be abusive, there is a high level of respect and care between a sub and their Master........... Good luck :)

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  love snappy....xxxx

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Bigmamma1' Don't rush!!............. There are some wannabes out there......... Start with Fetlife. Even joining a Munch group is worthwhile, as you can have a lot of your questions answered and get support from like minded people.......... Just remember, BDSM is not an excuse to be abusive, there is a high level of respect and care between a sub and their Master........... Good luck :) being a sub is no excuse for not using your head and your voice; educating yourself to, mitigating, and taking responsibility for the risks inherent in the kinds of play you seek. Research anything you're interested in trying, tell your top what appeals to you about it and what you're worried about, ie negotiate, negotiate, negotiate. Take it seriously if someone abuses or ignores your stated limits, no matter how 'well respected' they are in the scene. If it feels wrong (and not in a good way), they're not the master for you. Don't let reputation make you a fool, if they've abused you, odds are you're not the first and you won't be the last and there will always be another master willing to take you on. xx Sarah

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  The great thing about the Brisbane scene is there are plenty of workshops you can attend and learn in a safe environment, ask questions and meet people. Check the events / near me section as Brisbane Leather Pride is currently running a series of safety and education sessions, and there's a Brisbane lunch munch coming up near the end of September. There are some other events and play parties too that I would (evil-lution) or wouldn't (the den) recommend based on my own personal experience and observations but you'd have to use your own judgement there. xx Sarah

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Sorry.......even in fetlife, most "sirs" were married men not getting enough sex.......grrrrrrI expect honesty and some form of integrity.though you can eventually tell the fakes and violent types from the actual masters and mistresses.just be careful.love x

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I have read all your posts, and want to thank you for your great advice. It's reassuring to know people will answer your questions with respect and honesty and willing to guide you on the right, respectful and safe way into my chosen lifestyle. I shall look up fetlife and certainly look at attending the educational lunches on offer. I certainly won't be rushing into anything as I do know what I want from this and realise it has to be right. Thanks again everyone

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Communication - Without really rock solid communication you can't weed out the abusers from the doms that will respect you. You need to be able to communicate (negotiation) what are the things you want to try and what things are off the table (hard limits) as well as talking about safe words and what those words will be usually red, yellow, green and thy when you voice your safe word that 110% your dom will listen and stop then assess through talking with you. You need to be be able to communicate at the end of the scene so you know that the scene is over and your don can give you whatever after care you might need but also to talk about what went on - what you liked, what you didn't like and why so that things can be fine tuned for next time but also may need to renegotiate any hard limits. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  On_Safari

  11 years ago

  You will manage to flush put evety freak, deviant (not in a good way), narcissistic sicko on this site so atleast you'll get a very quick lesson on what isn't "the real deal". Fetlife can be just as full of pretenders but having been to a Brissy Munch has some truly lovely and interesting people as well. Be smart, be discerning and above all be safe!! ~ Indy

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Never ever rush into anything, ask a billion questions, definately dont lose your head. If it doesnt feel right, it probably isnt. There are SO many pretenders out there, and so many people that hear the word submissive and think "Easy Lay" All the advice you have been given is amazing. BDSM Australia on Facebook has a MILLION really useful documents on different terms and plays, it covers a lot of different things. Youll find what works for you babe, never be ashamed of your journey :) xx

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I think it is important to remember that being submissive is about what you are willing to give away.It is not about having thing taken from you. It is about what you are willing to do and not about what you are being forced to do. The thing you are will to yield control of are Gift from you to another. The recipient should value the gift and feel honored to receive it. As much as you have wants and desires your partner in this has them as well. You have to understand their wants needs and desires as well. This relationship is a loving one, not an abusive one. Remember this at all times what you have given you can take back. If the person you have given it to does not honor it then take it back. Any decent Dom will talk to you for a long time and you should talk to them. Be honest, be open and never never hold back on what you want. Being submissive and being a slave are totally different. Mike

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Thank you mike, I am certainly taking my time, and I appreciate everyone who has commented on my post. I agree it is a gift and should be as you say taken with respect. I have had a cpl of offers, however, just from the first message I know they are not real, and have mistaken the submissive for a slave to do with what they will. I'm still asking questions, researching and finding my way in my own time :-)

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