F52

If You are the One

August 17 2014

Chilling on a Sunday night and channel surfing today and hit SBS 32. the show 'If you are the One' was on. I love the show!!! Compelling viewing and has achieved cult status in Australia. It is China's highest rating dating show and for good reason. It is funny and really gives me a peek on the modern dating/mating rituals of the Chinese (mainland China). It is sub-titled so no need to be familiar in Cantonese nor Mandarin (dont know which one is used). It is a hilarious show as a bevy of 24 beautiful Chinese women parade across the stage into their designated stands and then a poor hapless Chinese man looking for love/date with one of the women is lowered onto the podium to be devoured mercilessly by the women. Like a piece of steak lowered down to the lion's den via the dumb waiter. Dinner is served!!! Then we wait and watch the train wreck. the poor victim of a man is made more vulnerable as he displays his best qualities and attributes via 3 cheaply made and corny videos of selling himself as the best thing since fried rice. He is dissected, lambasted and emotionally tortured with blatant emasculating criticisms from the women in every possible way in front of 100s of milliions of Chinese regarding * his physical looks ('I don't like that your eyes are small, like a slit', "your face is too flat", 'Your legs look short' or 'You look like a poor man. You look smelly'. Wtf?), * his earning capacity to maintain a lifestyle that the women aspire to or are accustomed to ('I don't like you because you don't earn good money. I will have to work when we are married." Hell no, I didn't think I had the option or some really weird reason to reject him which is totally alien in our Australian culture ('You don't have a PhD. I want smart kids". Doh!. "you are too old." Guy was only 32yo. Or "I don't like a man who wears pink shirt. You must be gay" You don't say, girlfriend! did my rouge clash with my shirt?) But the men keep coming in to snarl a date with their favourite woman. Amazing!!!! What is it about men who put up with emasculating behaviours from beautiful women? Would you subject yourself to this treatment just to get that elusive woman of your dreams? If you are really keen on a woman, and she insults you, would you stick around? How low will you go? Gentlemen, this way to the dumb waiter....

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RHP User

11 years ago

I thought the show was awful because it portrays the women as daft and or money grabbing. They women can bow out but the man still has the pick of the bunch at the end. Men put up with terrible treatment sometimes because they hope to get laid. They also don't see it as terrible treatment sometimes is she is "fun", "playing hard to get" or don't pay attention to those annoying alarm bells (eg. Questions of cheating). - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

We have internet dating sites... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...

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RHP User

11 years ago

Have to find this and have a look, so I can email whoever is responsible for objectifying men as the usual simple pieces of meat and only existing for the pleasure of a bunch of money grubbing, lazy, good'for'nothing, unwashed and unshaven, hurtful, emotionless, football watching oafs... I'm getting so sick of it. LOL... The person who conceived of the first TV dating show should be shot and then nursed back to health, so he can be shot again... (Off topic but same for 'Reality TV'' conceiver... Just my Opinion... Hehehe (See... Only 2 paragraphs.... YAY)

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Tall74nHard9

11 years ago

Spot on mate. If we blokes want to get that feeling, we just stick on dating sites long enough, and all that crap will surely follow. Lily, I have happened upon that show a few times, but never stuck around for long to watch proceedings. Makes me seriously think about the self worth of those Chinese blokes on there, particularly in light of the 'one child' policy there and the inevitable outcomes that has / will produce for years to come. Sure, the girls have the odds in their favour, but nowadays there are not the restrictions there once was about the guys going to another country to find a girl. Might be good fun for the girls on the show, but they should watch out how they present themselves, as there will be many guys watching and possibly saying to themselves, "is it worth this", and decide to look elsewhere. Tall

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Seachange73

11 years ago

Quoting 'MeAgain7' Have to find this and have a look, so I can email whoever is responsible for objectifying men as the usual simple pieces of meat and only existing for the pleasure of a bunch of money grubbing, lazy, good'for'nothing, unwashed and unshaven, hurtful, emotionless, football watching oafs... I'm getting so sick of it. LOL... The person who conceived of the first TV dating show should be shot and then nursed back to health, so he can be shot again... (Off topic but same for 'Reality TV'' conceiver... Just my Opinion... Hehehe (See... Only 2 paragraphs.... YAY) You must be of ill health as only two paragraphs? Who are you and what have you done to the real MA? Yes, when I first saw this show, I was shocked at how badly the men were treated. But they just keep rolling in? Lol. Queuing up to be the next victim! What? . But I do not understand the Chinese culture well enough to say whether this attitude is common place or just a creative license by the producers. But it has taken off here in Australia and the show even had a couple of episodes devoted to Aussie-Chinese men looking for love in that dating site. Baffleld me.

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Seachange73

11 years ago

Quoting 'Tall_n_Hard' Spot on mate. If we blokes want to get that feeling, we just stick on dating sites long enough, and all that crap will surely follow. Lily, I have happened upon that show a few times, but never stuck around for long to watch proceedings. Makes me seriously think about the self worth of those Chinese blokes on there, particularly in light of the 'one child' policy there and the inevitable outcomes that has / will produce for years to come. Sure, the girls have the odds in their favour, but nowadays there are not the restrictions there once was about the guys going to another country to find a girl. Might be good fun for the girls on the show, but they should watch out how they present themselves, as there will be many guys watching and possibly saying to themselves, "is it worth this", and decide to look elsewhere. Tall i read in an article in an Australian mag somewhere saying that the waiting list of the men wanting to go on to the show is in 1000s. It may be a chinese culture thing and I am not familiar to comment on that as that would be judgmental of me. Most, if not all, the men are from China with the occasional 'Gui Lo' (red devil - westerners). the ratio of female to male obviously afford the women the attitude they display and the producers to exploit. I still dont get it but it is there. It is both fascinating and to some degree, cringeworthy. How far will they go? Different stroke for different folks I suppose,. But I have to admit, a guilty pleasure... to watch the train wreck in motion. Does that make me a voyeur?

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Seachange73

11 years ago

Quoting 'jaybaby77' I thought the show was awful because it portrays the women as daft and or money grabbing. They women can bow out but the man still has the pick of the bunch at the end. Men put up with terrible treatment sometimes because they hope to get laid. They also don't see it as terrible treatment sometimes is she is "fun", "playing hard to get" or don't pay attention to those annoying alarm bells (eg. Questions of cheating). - Posted from rhpmobile Like everything in life, it is not everybody's cup of tea. Lol. An interesting voyeuristic glimpse of the dynamics of modern dating behaviours in China. I find it funny and so does many Australians. It is doing really well in the ratings, so I have read somewhere in one of the tv critiques column. I put it in the same basket as the Ninja Warriors and Iron Chef. Weird and fascinating. that is how the ball rolls in China.

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Tall74nHard9

11 years ago

We can only go with what we see through our own values, as we both probably don't understand the Chinese culture well enough to determine their views on why such a show is so popular. Got to agree with you though, it that it does appear to be the proverbial 'train-wreck', and it is funny to watch. Voyeur, probably not, but surely appreciative the ludicrous humour in the situation. Tall

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RHP User

11 years ago

Not only in the sexist roles portrayed but the way it effects how Chinese women are seen here.I teach a lot of post grad international female Chinese students and they are nothing like those women- I resent that Australians will be viewing them that way. There is enough misunderstanding between cultures and sexes without making the chasm wider. Xxviolet

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RHP User

11 years ago

I wonder - if the roles on that show were reversed, and the men came out with lines like 'your nose looks funny' and 'you have a fat arse', would it still be funny? Food for thought I guess.... And I've previously been subject to several years of shit, trying (and failing) to keep a marriage together. Now, fortunately, I am not in that circumstance :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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neroflyer

11 years ago

I find the show offensive, and I'm Chinese. Don't get me wrong, there are women in China like that, but the majority of them aren't. Also the fact that these men are willing to face humiliation in front of millions of people is just beyond me. I understand constructive criticism, but to be told "oh you're not smart enough because you don't have a PhD" WTH??? Also the fact that there are 30 million more men than women in China means that the odds are with them women. The guys are desperate to find a partner. This is TV chasing ratings.

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Tall74nHard9

11 years ago

Quoting 'Violetincredible' Not only in the sexist roles portrayed but the way it effects how Chinese women are seen here.I teach a lot of post grad international female Chinese students and they are nothing like those women- I resent that Australians will be viewing them that way. There is enough misunderstanding between cultures and sexes without making the chasm wider. Xxviolet Hopefully most people watching the show will delight in the ridiculous nature of the show, and understand that it is not entirely serious in its context. It would be like trying to tell Chinese people that we all behave the same way as those in Big Brother ! Hopefully common sense prevails and the jesting nature is understood. Tall

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RHP User

11 years ago

Due to the one child policy and the desire of couples to have a son the gender balance in china is not even and men out number women by a reasonable margin. And you rhp women surely know how desperate all men are to get laid !

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RHP User

11 years ago

It helps if you understand mainland Chinese culture to appreciate what sits behind the show, A woman or more correctly her parents are looking for the ideal husband who is tall (Gao), rich (Fu) and handsome (Shuai). The man should be tall to pass on good genes to the next generation, rich so that he can support the older generation (ie the parents because social security is appalling in mainland China and children are a form of super investment for the parents' old age) and handsome to give the current generation (the wife) a little incentive to produce the next little emperor/empress. And foreigners are not an option for mainlanders. Mainland parents would flip if a daughter brought home a gwei lo (white ghost - you don't want to know the appalling name they have for people with dark skin). The show just exaggerates these principles into something grotesque but it is no worse in principle to the Price is Right as a parody of Western consumerism.

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RHP User

11 years ago

How boring would the reverse be would still be 24 lights on at the end.. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

I reckon the guys on that show love the attention and get turned on by the public put-downs and humiliation. Isn't that a kink/fetish? ;) - Posted from rhpmobile

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Seachange73

11 years ago

My dear tulips. You never cease to amaze me with your wit and sunny disposition my dear sister. Guaranteed to bring a smile to my face. I suppose yiu have a point. But ie that a fetish? Dont know. Haha. You are a kinky gal. You tell me!!! Lol I believe as another poster said that is just a way for them to get attention in a bid to stand out from their competitors. Nothing like self promotion. Interesting take Though. - Posted from rhpmobile

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