M60 F54
If you compare me, you diminish me.
August 12 2018
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
But what was the question?
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RHP User
7 years ago
As I have said, it is not one question. It is a range of questions that probably influence the way we experience the world, how we value ourselves and see our place in it when compared with others.You are free to describe the way you feel about any of them. (Ms)
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Who compares themselves to Escorts and Prostitutes?? I mean seriously... who?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I’m sure plenty of women have suggested that guys who watch porn have unrealistic expectations and views on sex..... so clearly there are some people watching and comparing themselves at least, and likely their partner/s to those on the small screen Sure, you can admire someone and seek to emulate them or their “successes”.... but to seek to BE that person by your comparison to them is setting yourself up for a fall - Posted from rhpmobile
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
What you're talking about and what im talking about arent the same thing. A woman saying to a dude; you watch too much porn and have unrealistic expectations is not what I was referring to. I was moreso taking umbrage with the OPs comment about women "comparing and being compared to Escorts" which for me personally, was unreal. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
??????
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RHP User
7 years ago
I’m curious as to why you used escorts as a model comparison, why not just use other women, irrespective of their job title ? I hang with escorts, and funnily enough whilst spending time with them, professionally or socially, Ive never considered their job titles as value to who they are or our friendships. And I’m pretty sure they don’t consider my full time job as a criteria for their choosing to be in their lives either I’ve never compared myself to them and I hope they have never compared themselves to me, so I’m not quite sure what your point is ? And if anyone thinks escorting is a glamorous occupation think again, I can assure you it’s not. In fact I’m surprised one even thinks it is If I was in a relationship and things were not sexually satisfying I’d rather my partner saw a escort before he’d consider an affair but I hope we could work it all out before it came to that, but I control nothing, only my response As for my own self esteem , well I have issues that I own and work on, it keeps me in check I don’t believe women’s views on sex and intimacy has changed. I think we have always wanted the same, just harder to find now as we become slowly jaded As for feeling diminished, one can only feel diminished if we let ourselves be diminished by others For me, that’s never going to happen
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RHP User
7 years ago
are meant to be reflective, not judgmental.I am sorry if it appears that way. In a society where quality is measured by monetary value, the obvious question arises - if what costs more implies better quality, the message many women get, especially young is, that the higher the price on your body - the better the quality is assumed. It would be interesting to hear honest opinions without any judgement, if any women compared themselves or if that is what men think. (Ms)
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RHP User
7 years ago
Sure.... It’s unreal for a non escort to compare themselves to an escort But the question asked was “do women”? Yes...... some do/have Going back to my point about porn, there are some women who have in interviews stated that because of the porn connection, they’ve wondered if they should be more like the women in them to appeal to and please some men’s sexual desires. No judgement upon those women, merely answering that specific question I’m sure plenty of women have seen something in porn, and tried it.... maybe even you Now porn isn’t necessarily exactly like escort services, but it’s within the same general “industry and relating to the same activity of sex We both have points which are more similar than you may think - Posted from rhpmobile
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usrightnow_Again
7 years ago
Your premise is wrong. That which costs more is not necessarily of greater value or valued more, nor of a higher quality. Is an actor who costs more a better actor? Is a banker paid 1.2 better than a person who volunteers for a local charity? We know people who earn over a million p.a., we don't think of them as better than those we know who earn nothing and live a frugal life off the grid and away from it all. I have a couple of collections, the items worth the most aren't necessarily those I value the most, each item has the value and appreciation it has from me, due to my subjective preferences and they are not dictated by that worth most within a given market. Quality has nothing to do with cost. I find it perplexing and somewhat abhorrent to hear that a person's value and stature might be, to some, dependent on what they charge, or if they charge. Perhaps you might recalibrate your perception and any inferred judgement? Any women judging themselves in the way you described in your O.P., needs to realise that's no way to value yourself. Besides, as Meander and others have said, who does that? The one cent I offer this time, I'm sure I dropped in George Street. May as well stay there. Hope that's helped with this week's question. Next...Mr. urn. .
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RHP User
7 years ago
I do know there are lots of women comparing themselves to pornstars physically at least. Because there is a major industry of genital cosmetic surgery, designed to make them appear like the women they see, similar to anyone looking to be like models, and any fit slim bodies they see on advertising and promotion. Or cosmetic surgery in general. People can and do compare themselves to people they perhaps have no business with and should not be comparing themselves to. But in most of these cases the comparison is coming from within themselves, and not from other people. Of course there are certainly lots of people judging other people out there, and pressure from society, judging people on many factors including weight, other appearance etc. Ask any overweight person on the abuse they get simply walking down the street and/or daring to be proud of themselves, or see the recent hashtag saggyboobsmatter. As for work, the OP is right in yes, what you do for a profession is certainly judged by others, with better paying jobs being seen as preferable and sometimes more glamorous. Just ask the average toilet cleaner. Or the most basic careers advisor in a school. The best you can do is try and accept yourself and love yourself for who you are, including all of your perceived faults and imperfections. I'm in a job where plenty of people tell me I can do "better". But I would never compare myself to a male escort for example, even though I don't necessarily mean I think less or higher of them. Nor do I see anyone working in a suit as necessarily any better than I. Certainly though people are definitely attracted by money on offer in certain jobs. Escorting is among the highest perhaps, and not many people seem to accept your minimum wage job and happiness. If I had a partner who was an escort or had a cause for using one, or wishes to see anyone else other than me in general, swinging or otherwise, as long as I knew and accepted the reasons, my main concern is for her welfare and safety, and I would do my best to support her. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Meander I hope you find that person and he exceeds your expectations. My premise is not wrong. Ml understood what I said. I am not saying that is right or wrong but it is reality. We are human beings and we compare ourselves all time, especially when young. I never said better paid actor is a better actor - just the opposite. However we are bombarded constantly with how we should behave, look or think to be valued more on a stage where our value is seen only as monetary value. Escort services are not selling sex services, they are now in a business of selling dreams. "There are many ways of spending your leisure with them. You can go with them to see any movie, walk along the beach, go for candle light dinner etc. All these moments will give you an immense pleasure that gives a feeling of being on a cloud nine." Normal women work, drive children to school, cook and clean, snore, go to toilet even those who are book worms.(Ms)
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Seachange73
7 years ago
"I find it perplexing and somewhat abhorrent to hear that a person's value and stature might be, to some, dependent on what they charge, or if they charge. Perhaps you might recalibrate your perception and any inferred judgement?" Not sure that the OP is making judgements as such but rather 'reflecting' on a point where external events and people affect and 'may' influence our rigours of thinking. She has explained herself further above. It's not unusual to compare ourselves with other people, in all aspects of life. All for different reasons and using methodologies. I think one reason is to measure one's relevance against the current set of thinking or trends and to remain in the stream of things, adjust and adapt accordingly. Porn, escort and sex sites have become mainstream and legal and rightly so. Reflective approach to how we link them back to our lives and set of values used the comparative approach to find similarities or polar opposites. They are our basis for varying acceptance or rejection of values.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I've got Popcorn to share 😈
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RHP User
7 years ago
Are normal people as well. So are dentists, customer services officers, coles checkout ladies, nurses , you get the gist Irrespective of your employment title, all of us are juggling the domestic front, why would an escort be any different ? Escorts selling dreams ? well yes there is a category for a client to chose the girlfriend experience usually requiring the escort to be their partner for a weekend and usually by a businessmen requiring a escort to be with him 24/7 over a period of a few days for company, and yes for sex but not always Escorts can and often are booked for company, intimacy and if agreed upon, sex Yet to book a job requiring an escort to walk along a beach
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RHP User
7 years ago
Many men will go to escorts and pay more or less hundreds of $ per hour, all clean shaved and presentable and than come here with their entitled attitude, arrogant, smelly straight from work in dirty t-shirts. I have seen women here complaining about it, and than those same men blame women for being insecure and unsatisfied. That tells me that they do not value women here and because it is for free they think it’s of a lesser value. (Ms)
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Seachange73
7 years ago
But so far the discussion has been respectful and roasting degree robust with different opinions expressed and discussed in an intelligent manner. Part of the vacillating flow of ideas in any intelligent and substantive discourse worthy of participating and observing.😎 I'm enjoying the varying point of views that pushes the boundaries of my thinking. Will follow this with interest. Thanks for the thread OP.👍
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Seachange73
7 years ago
Not roasting degree.... Should be read as 'to a degree'. Bloody fat fingers and small phone keyboard. 😮
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RHP User
7 years ago
If you don't think it's robust enough for popcorn, that's your call. That's an interesting word to use because I've heard politicians use it in a certain context. OP I'm posting from New Zealand where prostitution is legal and has been for quite some time, a lot of the working girls are great company do their job with a sense of professionalism, there's a forum especially for the consenting adults who make the industry what it is.OP to answer part of your question my wife prefers that I see working girls rather a "girlfriend"
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Seachange73
7 years ago
All good. Apologies accepted too.😉
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'Seachange' Part of the vacillating flow of ideas in any intelligent and substantive discourse worthy of participating and observing.😎 Try saying that three times quickly.
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RHP User
7 years ago
"Are normal people as well. So are dentists, customer services officers, coles checkout ladies, nurses , you get the gist"I was not talking about escorts as human beings , but about the industry and the pressures on women to behave in certain ways. It is nonsensical to argue that "Prostitution is same as any other profession?” Who is feeding you with that Neoliberal rubbish. Prostitution is not and has never been the same as all the other service professions for the reasons I can not even begin to explore in this limited space. But most obvious one is power work relations. Every knowledge or experience creates counter-balance of power in your favour; no matter how small or insignificant it may appear to be. That is why education is important. It gives you negotiating power. You do not go to your GP and say”Oh, I know what’s wrong with me, I already have my diagnosis.” Nor do you visit your lawyer with “ I know how to win my case. Just do as I tell you.” Do you? Neither you tell the architect or an engineer “ You should build that bridge this way. It’s much better.” Even the smallest service profession, in a hierarchical corporate working situation has that structure. If something goes wrong, person who deals with it is called for suggestion. In prostitution it was NEVER the case. Prostitution is the only profession in which power relations are set the opposite way. Prostitute, if she/he accepts the offer, has to do what the client says. He knows what he wants and in that exchange her needs are not first. Neither is her expertise.(Ms)
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RHP User
7 years ago
You girls understand.
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Seachange73
7 years ago
I don't verbalise them just let the words flow as I type quickly on my phone. I can say them quickly in my head 3x though. Does that count? 😎
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nightingale8
7 years ago
Yes you can tell them what to do. But sometimes they need to tell you, that's just not gonna fit. - Posted from rhpmobile
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usrightnow_Again
7 years ago
Well, wish I'd had the time to reply sooner, apologies. Thank you to the ever-helpful, for teaching me how to suck eggs, as they say. Obviously, some people compare themselves, on some occasions, with some things. That wasn't what I was addressing. The O.P., and thank you for addressing me, when replying to something I mentioned, repeatedly drew attention to a monetary comparison, and it was that, which I chose therefore, to address in my personal opinion comment. She has subsequently reiterated her initial thoughts, as well. .. I have said numerous times before, when offering my opinion, and let's face it Ms. Cat., we began occasionally putting likes on some of your posts , back in 2016, before others did, so, you have been around long enough to know, that when offering my opinion, I very often add that it is has the value of just one cent. Now, as we know, one cent is worthless, as is my opinion. As I have also mentioned, having spent most of my life, without a voice, it is occasionally nice to use it, to articulate occasional thoughts and I'm ever thankful that rhp provide a platform for all of us to do so. .. I also placed my comment within the context of other comments the O.P. had made in another thread, some, I am also keen to offer my thoughts on , however, due to the general busy nature of life and only have come back to posting a week or so ago, I have not had time to do so. .. I also noticed in a recent comment here O.P., that you said men better prepared for time with and escort or sex worker , than an rhp date and you had seen comments made that indicated some people had turned up to such dates in work clothes. From my recollection, there were just a handful of these comments made back in mid 2016, on one or maybe two threads, however a number of possible explanations were given at the time. If you have more or other examples, please let us all know. I dare say the odd chap turns up to a brothel straight from work and of course is put to the shower. Most men I've known, have always shaved, for those that do, and showered prior to dates. Certainly, if my wife and I go out, we both shower and I shave. This is because we wish to look our best, tough in my case, and be clean, not smell. And we've been together for very almost thirty years. .. As for the whole doctor, architect, solicitor thing, well, I have taught my doctors far more than they have taught me, and they have told me so. We on two occasions, when attempting to get a house built, provided building companies with my drawings for the houses we wanted and both times I was asked if I was an architect and told the drawings were of the standard the architect would be providing. And to be fair, I'd probably tell a solicitor how to do their job for me too. Not sure about the whole hierarchical structure in business thing, probably why I didn't ever work well with people. I spoke about differences in the way brains function recently in the Word thread. .. Anyway, it's 2:36a.m. and I have to be up at 7:30a.m., so enough for now and I won't proof-read. For those that read this comment and have perhaps reread my first one in this thread too, I thank you. Mr. urn. .
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RHP User
7 years ago
I am in no habit going over old threads and posts, unless extremely bored; but in many instances women complained about men’s poor behaviour due to their beliefs of “free root site”, Anyhow, I do not blame men for behaving in certain ways as they were being born into the culture where values of someone’s worth is measured by “price”. Due to those conditions people often regard - “the higher the price - the better the value” as a rule to choose. Again, it is not what I believe and I certainly do not believe that people of Rhp are all not shaven, smelly or disrespectful, but that attitude is there and it cannot be dismissed. Also, I believe Dragon was never trying to impose her opinion, she was just clarifying how she understood my position, and I must say, that she is correct. Perhaps, the way I express myself is not what some people like, even though I try to be clear, concise and respectful. Kindness also has no price. Thank you for reading my posts and I often liked yours. If you say to your doctor, lawyer or the architect your suggestions that still does not mean that you do not respect their experience and knowledge and therefore will do as they suggest, if you, of course, believe they have your interest at heart. If not you will go elsewhere. That is all the point. You will not impose your decision because it may cost you dearly... and if it is a surgeon may cost you your life...I doubt that you would ask a heart surgeon enthusiast to do the work. I am nt here that often and I am writing this in a hurry but as you took your time to reply to my post at 2am that is at least what I can do. (Ms)
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