M65
I'm sensing a sense of humour... Merry Xmas..
December 06 2014
Comments
-
RHP User
11 years ago
And a very Merry Christmas to you too Jay_me x
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Back at you Jay
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Bugger! Is it only that many sleeps 'til XXXmas!!?With the stores selling xmassy stuff for the past few months I've fallen complacent, thinking that I had ages to go. *Sigh* Oh well. Guess I better rummage around for that pic of Red knobbed Rusty, even if I look like a deer laying briquettes in the headlights as someone once suggested. I however, will not be dipping my balls in condensed milk and bacardi again! Aside from the shredded coconut getting everywhere, did you know that the testes are very absorbent?I spent 24 hours off of my rocker dribbling nonsense in the chat room a few years ago due to getting into the spirit of Christmas a lil too eagerly. Perhaps this year I'll just twirl some red licorice around my... cane. Hmmm, cane may be a bit overstating it.... More like a cracker, because it's likely to go off when you pull it. (See, it even comes with a silly little joke as well) Have a merry, merry silly season folks.Cheers with baubles on.Rusty
-
RHP User
11 years ago
When am I ever serious Jay_me?? Other than that abyss inside your mind..... :p - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
..... I nearly did.... lol
-
MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Merry Christmas Jay. *insert a Foxy special Christmas hug* Foxy xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Merry Christmas, Jay, and a Happy 2015!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Much funny fuckery to be found... I'm enjoying it too. Thanks funny fuckers!! Merry Christmas Jay! X
-
AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Give us something to work with..... When I was drag queening success was always hinging on the mc to warm the audience first so as Passion said above, back to you.....
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Frohe Weihnachten zu Euch allen. May Christmas be merry and happy and full of love. L
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Of the year to relax and have a soh :-) As the added stress leading up to and on Xmas day seems to push some people to breaking point and losing the plot of what Xmas spirit and holiday's should be about :) lol hence I will try to avoid shopping near Xmas this year, last year I just recall observing some heated road rage in car parks and getting frustrated myself with how long it takes to score a car park. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
and lets fuck some helpers and spit roast mrs claus :-)) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
and a very merry xmas to you too. I can feel some xmas jokes coming on....stay tuned
-
6exxy
11 years ago
A very merry sexist Xmas to ya Jay! Lmao
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said. 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He sh ook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'. The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?' The man replied, 'These are Carol's.'
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Hi all, if you would pass this on to those near you that I know, and even possibly those I don't, if you think they might be offended if you don't; I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and family, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer last week, and on his advice I wish to say the following: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. Best Regards ( without prejudice ) Name withheld ( Privacy Act ).
-
RHP User
11 years ago
REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known…... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
A Christmas Story for people having a bad day: When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?' And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. it's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
-
AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
has bought someone a joke book for Christmas. She hasn't gift wrapped it yet.....
-
RHP User
11 years ago
old emails I have stashed away. Unfortunately for you lot most of the emails I get are more of the pornographic nature which I can't post in here so you are stuck with the lame jokes.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
To all you gorgeous ladies that wished me a Merry Xmas its coming back at ya in waves with plenty of hugz and xxxx.. How good is that, Xmas brings out the nicest of the best and restored my faith there are more good than narky here . Good to see the guys weighing in abit of good old xmas cheer too. Merry Xmas guys... Foxy' I caught your drift' and yes' it should be all year round, 'if only. BTW hugz xxx and good wishes graciously accepted and back at ya.. As for Heckle and Jeckel.. lol.. they're funny bugga's ? haha merry xmas guys.. hehe..
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' Hi all, if you would pass this on to those near you that I know, and even possibly those I don't, if you think they might be offended if you don't; I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and family, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer last week, and on his advice I wish to say the following: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. Best Regards ( without prejudice ) Name withheld ( Privacy Act ). I unconditionally accept your greeting without prejudice, xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
funny about Xmas..men in long dresses hanging around a stable...fat old men wearing red velvet.. awful songs about flying deer and obscure Polish kings..Exchanging a wonderful gift for something you neither want or need...sitting at a table groaning with goodies,sharing a meal with people who either bore or enrage you..Yeah,there's nothing funny about Xmas...many hugs Ms.Grinch
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15100 Comments: 88196
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1416 Comments: 10246
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11712
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2503 Comments: 9775
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 998 Comments: 5086
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1302 Comments: 5771
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 780 Comments: 1985
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share