M42
In Love
November 05 2009
Comments
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Mate. For certain you can be. I fell in love and I married the girl of my dreams. I love my wife ta bits... how else do you think I managed to stay married for the last 25 years? I lick the floor she hovers above... lol... and my boyfriend.. I haven't known him for more than a year or two but love him to bits... we are soul mates.... I certainly have found the one.. both of them and that keeps me happy! And then of course, there's my cyber-spouse Sister Sophie... my twin ~ only she's much better looking..... :) People are more than capable of loving more than one.... I have three children and I love each of them in their own way.... not in a sexual way of course.. jeese, people. So you can love more than one.. most of us do... and we can have more than one lover.. some of us do... it's called polyamory. I didn't set out to fall in love with more than one person.. as you've found, it just kind of happens by accident. People don't usually set out to have an affair either... that just sort of happens too.. but then your in too deep... lolz. My situation is difficult for me to resolve by reason that I'm bisexual and my wife is a homophobe .... even if she accepts that I also love another she wouldn't accept that it's a he... but hey.... these are small hurdles. What do I do? Well, I live and let love.... I'm certainly not possessive... and I try not to be too judgmental of other people's circumstances because relationships can be very complicated..... I dont feel good abuot chaeting and my situation will only end badly... but where I will fail by reason of my circumstances, others have succeeded. Your problems are just beginning... do you risk losing both? Questions questions... if only life was simple and we could follow a manual, huh? hehe.... but then I'd be a Christian. Cheers Buddy, Gazza
-
RHP User
16 years ago
I think it is possible to love two people at once. I think Gaz illustarted very well a situation where an individual gets and give equal but different love to two different parties. But, If a three way relationship (or more!!!!) is always workable, I am not sure of this. It depends on the expectations of all of the parties and and whole heep of other things. Jelousy, possessiveness, guilt, lack of emotional maturity, often get in the way. And some individuals will always use the "But, I love both of you" thing to control and manipulate not one, but two woman at once. My ex tried this on with me and his ex wife using the "but we have a child together and we still love each other even though we are divorced and why do you have a problem with me coming home with my fingers smelling like pussy, cos I live with you, darling" and I have never felt so low in my life as when I was with him. Customer69, your ex seems like one of these yukky types, too Tell him no caramello bears for him, no matter how much he begs at your doorstep, you are tooooo good for his type! lovebittenxoxoxo
-
tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Yes i believe you can be in love with two people at the same time.......If believe there would allways be a primary and secondary love in the event that you had to make a choice ! I have been in love with a secondary person on a few occasions, and one time, more in love with the other person than my partner......I realy try to avoid Torn between 2 lover situations these days, And I much prefer to have a Sexual lover with a friendship..........although it is hard to tell the difference sometimes between love, and a strong sexual connection ! Just my view....xo Tam..
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Yes, I too do believe that you can love more than one person at the same time and also that you can be "in love" with more than one person at a time, athough I think the second is more difficult simply because when you're "in love" it usually excludes all others... but it does depend on your own personal definition of the word "love"... you can have feelings of love for an infinite amount of people...doesn't mean you're "in love" with all of them.
-
RHP User
16 years ago
My ex hubby loved me and another women....yeah..Was real hard for me to accept what he had done...Divorce and a beautiful strong loving son who showed his father that ya got to be nice to mommy...lolz... We are now better people in ourselves, we are best friends and I am happy for him..I even talk to his new Gf on the phone and when we were in Japan in April, dad had to babysit a cpl times while his gf and I went out drinkin..and he spoilt us girls with a shopping spree day...I bet that hurt his pocket (but that is him, he likes to spoil those he cares about)..roflmao.....was too funny..!!!! err is human to forgive is devine. yes..I have said it a cpl times ...Because I have learnt this through my up's and down's.. Gotta love the rollercoaster of life...and embrace it!! Hope it works out for you all....oxoxoxoxoxox Love sweetpetite41
-
RHP User
16 years ago
My opinions and thoughts on this waver a bit sometimes. but ultimately YES i do think that you sure can love two people unconditionally at the same time. sometimes i think it might be different kinds of love, such as a sexual love and a friendship love.... but really, love is love, right? just some people you love you have sex with and some you dont? hmm.. LOLi do agree with Tam though, sometimes it is very very hard to tell between love and a strong sexual connection. but i would still like to think its love all the same, even if your sexual friend you love as a close friend? maybe i should stop talking about love, it just confuses me. but i do believe that yes, he loves his wife, and yes, he loves me too. and yes, people are capable of loving more than one person unconditionally sometimes its just not an easy thing to do if there are other factors involved.
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks to everyone so far, I do agree as well that you can love two people at the same time, and i can see what your saying tam and jemma but in my case its not a issue of strong sexual connection (even tho i find them both incedibly sexy) its more of a case of i love each of them for who they are as a person (even if who they are is ever changing). Thanks sophie, I also love alot people in my life different ways (sisters / family love, love my daughters, even love each of my friends in a way) but I belive i can feel and understand the difference between being "in love" and loving someone and thats part of the problem lol, i feel like im in love with both of them. Even tho one of them I cant be with as it wouldnt be possible atm, I regard her as one of my closest friends and she knows more then most about me, I connect with both of them on most if not all levels, so even tho i cant be with one of them (I am with the other atm) I care deeply about her and its hard thing to do at times to hold back that little bit. Lifes so fun, but really, life is fun when you chose it to be :) hihellogday :)
-
RHP User
16 years ago
You can be in love with more then one person. Love is such a hard emotion to define though. As has been said, love can be with you children, partners , even pets. Its all Love. I have been with Mrs Gero for 20 years now. I new I loved her from the time I met her. She is my best mate, Lover, best mother to my kids, my soul mate,,and I would totally fall apart if she wasnt in my life. What I am trying to get to is,, I have loved others through out our relationship. Some I loved like a sister,,others I have felt more. At the moment there is a special person in my life who I love deeply.If She,, like Mrs G ever disappeared I dont know what I would do. She is also a mate, lover etc. Now even though I love both ladies it is still Mrs G who will always be my wife. If Mrs G ever stopped loving this certain person or anything ever became ackward between all of us well,, as much as it would hurt me I would step away. Mrs G is my soul mate. My life long partner. So what I am trying to say is yes,,, you can love 2 ppl,,, or more,, but you need a soul mate to be on the same journey as you I think to make it work . Otherwise the sneaking and cheating will develop.Yes I love Mrs G more then any other living thing on this planet but yes I still love this other person. Hard to explain whats in my head ( even I get confused ) but thats my thoughts. Mr G :-)
-
RHP User
16 years ago
We all love more than one person, we love our brothers, sisters, friends, mothers, fathers, lovers. For some reason society only thinks that SEX can only be between 2 lovers, it really has no set rules on just loving one person. Now by this I don't want to suggest that incest is the go but I really think the actual feeling of deep and complete love you have is the same emotion no matter what the relationship. I love my best mate completely and would not choose between him and my wife or family and a few other special friends. Now not many would jump up and down at me saying I loved my mate but if I slept with him there'd be an opinion or two. Relax people as I haven't, I have had an awesome session with his wife though!!! :)
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Sorry...a little off thread here.......Customer69....I think your ex is a tosser and needs a fucking eye transplant lol....... and you are better off without him......how dare he say such things to you the selfish prick!! I had a look at your pics and I wish I looked as good as you. Let him have his cake and eat it......I hope he chokes on it lol Find someone who appreciates you x
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Gaz.. I'm still confused. Do you consider yourself to be polyamoros? Wouldn't you wife need to know about your boyfriend and totally accept, condone, respect and be involved in this three way relationship for it to be considered polyamoros? Cheers, T.
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Yes of course. However love is a many varied thing. Different degrees and one is more than the rest. Thats the one you are with. Doenst mean some fantasys at times. That is unless you are Mr Sexy lol. Mars
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Trixy. You're talking about ideal situations. I am polyamorous. My boyfriend is polyamorous. My wife is not polyamorous. My situation is doomed. Sure I can leave my marriage but I don't want to. We fell in love a long time ago... when I was much younger and my appreciation of my sexuality has developed and is now divergent from hers. I don't love her any less. We can't know these things when we marry someone. Shit happens. Some people cheat and that's the end of their marriage. Some people cheat and it just isn't that important. Hugs Gaz
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Oh... And one more important point.... I've never claimed to be in a polyamorous relationship. I'm not. A person can identify as polyamorous but not even have one lover.... polyamory is a philosophical postion meaning that you accept that you can love more than "the one". Hugs Gaz
-
tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Hey Trish.....It's pretty obvious to everyone here, that you have been deeply hurt in the bust up of your 22yo relationship...That makes me sad also.....I;m a big believer in admiting all the various faults for both people in a failed relationship.....Forgiving your ex, even though it's fuckin hard, When you have been obviously so in love with him......but most importantly forgive yourself for anything that you think might have contributed to the situation..........Only when you let go of the anger,guilt etc and accept that part of your life is over.......Can you moove on and make your life better than it was before...... Don't let you ex fuck with your head !..... Love blinds us all......when we awaken from the dream.....and think * what the fuck did i see in that person ! * and maybee i didn't realy know them at all ?......or maybee we didn't want to know.......That's love i suppose ? Love is Grand....but when its gone it rips your Heart out squezes it and jumps on it .......It's a normal feeling !..... Hugz Tam
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Trish, Do you want me to change the locks or are you going to do that tomorrow? Hugs Gaz
-
RHP User
16 years ago
shall i do it for ya...u be strong, u will get over him...I DID!!...my wife i mean, not him...sheesh....maybe u should tease him some more...hehe...my, u r a norty girl....and boy, what a jerk...uhm...him i mean now...cheers and big kissesjose...
-
RHP User
16 years ago
everyone knows even if they dont understand.My best mate in the world I would have married a life time ago if we were,nt blokes.I love him with all my heart.My kids, now theres a pair,Theres nothing in this world I would,nt do for them,Ilova them with all my heart.My family I love with all my heart,the moments in time when you meet someone special and fall in love ,even if for a moment!You love them with all your heart.People are capable of multilove and theres no shame in it,its our nature.If the worlds populace would throw off there socially develloped wool,the world would see what it could really achieve.Love is Love it comes in many forms.Enjoy the experience it doesnt come round often.Cheers
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Why do i say that..cause it has happened to me.....You can love two people at once, the bad part is u need to ultimaltely make a decison between one or the other..otherwise it fucks with ur mind too much....
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Hi All :)Just a quick note to say thanks for all of your replies :) and its great to be In Love with these people, just takes a little to wrap my little brain around it hahahaha but a lovely feeling :)CyasHihellogday :)
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15097 Comments: 88145
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1416 Comments: 10246
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11718
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2503 Comments: 9782
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 996 Comments: 5053
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1301 Comments: 5768
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 780 Comments: 1981
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share