M36
Interracial Dating
May 20 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am Australian born and was married to an Englishman and found those cultural differences challenging at times, both the 5 years I lived there, and all the time he was here. They were petty differences in comparison to what you are asking and have experienced, so I could well imagine 'bigger' cultural differences would have such a larger impact. I hope others can shed more light. Do you care to share more about what you experienced?
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RHP User
13 years ago
well as i come from a traditional asian family though im not very much on asian values, my ex (australian) didn't like it that i took care of her all the time. she told me i was not letting her walk on her own two feet. my care and concern suffocated her i guess. My family met her last nov, and they liked her. it was her parents which was... not as welcoming. I had to sleep in a tent when i went over to visit her which i complied, but in retrospect, i devalued myself. she broke up with me saying she got bored of the relationship.
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RHP User
13 years ago
There is nothing wrong with dating someone with a different cultural background.Yes I have been with men who have different cultural believes than myself.To me it's just different belief views and values.In some cultures it is the Parents who decide who their daughter dates then marries. In other cultures it does not matter.Here in Australia we are more open to dating people with different cultures as we have full range of diverse communities.I think if one was to be more open and accepting of partners cultural believes and values then it would work.I think with the way Technology is changing and becoming more popular, it makes it a lot easier to meet people with different cultural backgrounds rather than conforming and just sticking within their own culture.Foxy
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think OP you will find a lot of people on here, who have various different cultural backgrounds.When you say "interracial relationships" what does it mean to you OP??Can you illiterate more - so we can get a better point of view and understanding what you are really trying to say?????what exactly was the cultural difference?FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hello Erin, good question. I think a lot of relationships are interracial. For example I have been very good friends with a few Chinese girls over the years who are very "westernized" yet some of their core values around love & relationships and their focus on work has me shaking my head. It just doesn't seem to gel in my head. Although I was born and brought up here but I have had a strong southern Italian / European influence in my life. So I think I get on well with those women because of our family values but when it comes to work, risk taking, and sex our views could not be further apart. Of course friendships are different to lovers. As long as your core values are the same and you are both willing to compromise then it works. But yes, it can be really difficult I think.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes Foxy technology means we have access to a greater pool of people and cultures but that does not make interracial relationships any easier. People's upbringing has an impact on how they feel or view relationships, roles of men and women, families, work, risk, etc etc.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Interracial relationships would be for example Asian male white female, white male Asian female, black male white female, and the List goes on. The cultural difference I experienced was her thinking I was smothering her when I thought this was me caring. And she wanted me to be spontaneous but I'm someone who likes to plan surprises. As Asians, the culture of uncertainty avoidance is there. Ever since I moved to Perth, I wanted to experience dating women of different races, I didn't expect the cultural different to be.. Vast
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RHP User
13 years ago
What is op??
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Erin102012' well as i come from a traditional asian family though im not very much on asian values, my ex (australian) didn't like it that i took care of her all the time. she told me i was not letting her walk on her own two feet. my care and concern suffocated her i guess. My family met her last nov, and they liked her. it was her parents which was... not as welcoming. I had to sleep in a tent when i went over to visit her which i complied, but in retrospect, i devalued myself. she broke up with me saying she got bored of the relationship. Maybe is was not about your values OP most likely her own values.Also sounds like to me OP, you were two different people on different paths not so much an interracial relationship.Maybe she just didn't like being taken care of all the time - Maybe she just felt like she couldn't breathe or be herself?WTF? "bored with relationship?", Gosh some women would kill for a relationship where partner takes care of them all the time.Sorry OP I think you deserve better, than sleeping in a tent when sleeping at partners parents house.But then again have to respect their rules in their house.Anyways OP Hope you find someone right for you.Foxy
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well, till now i still ask myself what went wrong and all. maybe its an australian culture to be carefree spontaneous and wanting a relationship where she can do whatever she wants? Im not too sure, just blind guessing.
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RHP User
13 years ago
That is something I have found with my Asian girlfriends... And this is a complete generalization of course but they are so risk adverse!! And spontaneity, pushing your boundaries is for some reason a scary concept. I went travelling with a friend of mine as I made her ride a bike, travel in a speed boat, ride an elephant, cuddle baby tigers, travel to an unknown country, go hang gliding!! Not sure if she loved it or hated me by the end. LOL. All things she would never ever contemplate doing without me telling her to get out of her comfort zone!! Unfortunately she easily reverted back to her old ways once we got home. :(
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes. Spontaneity, being carefree and being able to do want I want, with in reason when I am with a partner, is essential to me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Erin102012' What is op?? In the Forums OP means ORIGINAL POSTER...the one who posted the forum Topic.It is used to directed back to the person who posted the Topic.That's how I see OP as.Did you know that there is some dating websites specially designed for "Interracial Relationships"??Have a look on the net.Good LuckFoxy
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RHP User
13 years ago
OP stands for original poster. The person who has started the discussion. :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Erin102012' Well, till now i still ask myself what went wrong and all. maybe its an australian culture to be carefree spontaneous and wanting a relationship where she can do whatever she wants? Im not too sure, just blind guessing. Sounds like the relationship breakup just recent? Is it?Cause if it is - it's still raw and of course it is normal to question things that went wrong - it's part of the process one goes through..Never question yourself or your culture - I know it's hard not to.Relationships are very hard work (break ups even more).Just be yourself and you will find the right woman that will accept you for you - cultural background and all.She'll love and adore all of you.Foxy xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
was running through my mind all the possibilities of OP. hahaha, well Im willing to try things, but it seems that her definition of spontaneous is no planned surprises etc. just do it.. and yea i know of such websites, however, I do not want a woman that has a certain color fever if you know what I mean. just accept me for me. like what i would do for the other person if I was attracted.Its not very recent, but I'm pretty logical and straight forward in nature, so this is a little.. illogical :l
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RHP User
13 years ago
also stands for original post :-)When you see initials and you don't know what they mean, you can always google them with the word acronym which will usually give you a list to choose from. Pick the one that makes the most sense.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love interaction with females of different cultures, but I also learnt there are some things that will always remain the same and cause a strain. Having dated a few gorgeous Asian girls over time . The one thing that always stood out was the ingrained tradition of ' save face ' and the problem it can cause someone bought up in a more forgiving environment such as ours here in Oz. Here ' we like to call a spade a spade and say it as it is ' where the asian way of ' save face ' no matter what, works totally against the grain. For those unfamiliar. Asian cultures believe it is best to ignore or deny anything that could make them look bad in another's eyes, hence the saying ' save face. A good thing in some ways, but a real strain to others wanting to deal with it and move on. Apart from that it is always worth the effort every time. .
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RHP User
12 years ago
We're in an interracial relationship. I'm Latino and have been in Australia for a few years, she's Australian. The differences go well beyond skin deep, I'm quite dark and she's white as they get! But in general terms we share the same life outlook and we could not be happier. It doesn't hurt that she has a keen interest for Spanish, Latin American food and travelling.- Posted from rhpmobile
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