M44
Is RHP the site for me?
August 29 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well , at least you're being Honest about your situation . Check out the Chat Rooms , you may find what you need there . Happy Hunting . GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
But you're on a slippery slope, mr shy. Three questions..... (1) how would she feel if she knew you talk dirty to other women (2) how would you feel if she secretly spoke dirty to other men (3) what would you do if one of these women you speak to wanted to meet?! That is all. DG- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
your wife perhaps?It all starts with good OPEN and HONEST communication.She does know your on here - doesn't she?You may never know what her fantasies and kinks are unless you talk to her.LOL She may want exactly the same as you???Most people on here want to meet REAL people, chatting dirty and exchanging messages after a while is well.......absolute boring to me - brings tears to my eyes.As a single woman, I want my mind, body and soul stimulated, real life relationships.There are some women on here who want exactly the same as you.They are here, you just have to have patience...You've done the right thing posting a Forum..Good LuckFOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
If women are contacting you and you are getting your needs met,then you have answered your own question. You are a guest, you cant initiate contact with women apart from a flirt,so I find it quite amazing that you have had such success here OP...talking dirty,message,by message,such a long drawn out process....I would forget which of my bits we are up to
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RHP User
12 years ago
Trying to find that something extra with your wife? Maybe she's feeling unfulfilled too, but doesn't know how to talk about it or doesn't believe you'll know how to listen. Maybe she's more open to possibilities than either of you assume, or maybe her mind could be opened with a little care. Maybe, like many couples in here, she'd even enjoy sharing you with others. Maybe she'd like the same opportunity. The kind of sex life you have with a partner can change dramatically over the years. There are many stories on here of couples who talked about trying something a little different, tried it, loved it, tried some more and before they knew it were full-blown swingers in a happy and healthy relationship together. When I first got married my husband was really jealous and insecure. Ten years later he happily agreed to an open relationship, because we'd both matured. I don't know the first thing about your life or your wife, I just wonder if there isn't a chance you could go on this adventure together :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
DG ... You're starting to sound like my Dad ;) GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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Beachlover1999
12 years ago
Thanks girls for giving the speal re TALK TO YOUR WIFE!!! I have had several conversations with guys from here about that, they are also denying themselves total fullfillment and pleasure, if your 35 or 45 thats a long life of misery, frustration and errrrrr lies!!!!!! 😎- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
by the amount of people that are in relationships on this site and within the Forums...THAT DO NOT TALK OPENLY TO THEIR PARTNERS!!It starts with good OPEN and HONEST communication!!It shows respect, dignity and honor towards each other and that relationship.I for one, could not stand it if I were in a relationship and felt I could not talk to my partner or my partner could not talk to me for what ever reason.That's not a healthy relationship in my eyes!It really saddens me when I read people are in relationships and there's not OPEN and HONEST communication or being able to talk about their kinks/fantasies/ pleasures etc etc.Isn't it about being HAPPY??FOXYSorry OP - this not not directly at you.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Perhaps you should try a website that is primarily created for married people who are seeking the extra spice like yourself???? As a single woman, I absolutely have no interest in chatting to attached/married men, let alone meeting them, because they can't give anything at all, not even a friendship! I do agree with Foxy about talking to your wife openly about your fantasies, etc. if you haven't already done so that is. And seriously, why can't married people discuss with their own partners about their sexual desires and fantasies??? Is it because they don't love each other anymore??? Is it because talk dirty or sleep with other women/men thrill them to excitement??? Honestly I don't get it, but it's not my business nor is it for me to judge! So I wish OP and many other married people on RHP good luck in searching for they're looking for!- Posted from rhpmobile
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Plain280
12 years ago
That is your question, do I need more sex and how and with whom? I am in love with my partner for 28 years and I needed sex as she does not and can no longer have sex, cancer and complications have made this impossible.Am I open yes to the extent my partner says do what you need to do but dont make me face what I cant deliver as it makes her more depressed and she feels a failure in life as a tragic result of this cancer which has been around for 20 years and the last 6 years extremely difficult.So the guidelines are be safe and be very discreet, the long and the short of it is since this conversation my needs have not dissappeared but the burning desire to chase has been put into perspective. All I am after in the end is female companionship which does not have my partners by necessity tense and fiesty nature which I am in awe to fight this cancer.In a roundabout way I am saying unless you have a good reason to continue on RHP discuss it with your wife first and I think you will be surprised as to what she can do and what you can both do, to satisfy your needs, be honest with each other. Then you will have the needs and wants answered. Needs are driven by internal behaviour, wants outside influences that are often confused with needs, for instance lots of females around you which give you the desire to wanting to bed them. Its a male thing.
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madotara69
12 years ago
I flirt and talk dirty to just about everyone in here, But We are here as a couple, and anything I have written is open for Tara to read, she has no interests to post on here but we enjoy having a laugh with the characters in these forums. We do everything together, and we have met someone in here , and looking forward to meeting some others from here. Maybe you can talk with your wife and see if she is willing to join you with the fantasy, you never know what may become for both to enjoy.I will talk dirty to you and your missus if she is with you, just ask anyone in here. But I won't talk dirty to you alone, peeps in here may think something of it. he heI can be very charming, and quite the gentleman.If you love your wife, then don't fuck it up. Would be my answer.Mado, Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
So obviously just building up the 'courage' to meet up with another woman to fuck. AS IF a whole bunch of dirty talk isnt 1000000000000000% going to lead to an inevitable hookup.Just pick up some chick and fuck her, may as well save yourself the hassle, youre already going to anyway.
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RHP User
12 years ago
1 thing that gets the alarm bells ringing, you say your happily married.....As the wise ones have said, it all starts with communication.And FYI, all women are interesting or I think so at least.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Alot of good advice, but I don't believe it's something I can chat to my wife about without really upsetting her. I think it's more the thrill and chase of another woman that I like. Before I married my wife I cheated on ex gf's with other girls and when I met my wife I swore I wouldn't physically cheat on her and I haven't, we have been together 7 years. Now I appreciate this can be classed as cheating but I personally believe it's a better alternative than sleeping with another woman. I don't think by being open and honest with my wife that the urge to be with another woman would go, it's always been there, but this satisfies that. All your advice has certainly given me food for thought, maybe I'll stick to looking at regular porn! Lol Thanks- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes - I do have a some suggestions ... firstly hang in there. When you are seeking an on-line friend, your window of opportunity is narrow but there are women out there seeking the same as you ... you just have to keep knocking till she answers. If you are interesting and clever you can turn it into a desirable art.Secondly ... patiently start making suggestions to your wife ... sending cheeky slash dirty txts to her ... see if she responds. She may surprise you ... she may want to be chased - she may want you to sometimes treat her as someone she is not .. someone who has no inhibitions, someone who talks dirty.Just think ... wouldn't it be clever if you found the two things you want in the same person ?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I say love, I say dear, I say neighbor.If you are just 'TALKING" and giving your attention to other person WITHOUT YOUR PARTNER KNOWING that is cheating. It's called an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR, or an affair of the heart.It's not good ethics or good morals.This is my worst fear ever..I hope this would never happens to me if I ever get in a relationship with someone I truly love.I reckon this would hurt more than a physical affair if I they were caught out.In saying that I think I would cope better if they told me.When I hear a person say they can not talk to their partner or "that will hurt her" I call that a coward act!The Ostrich Syndrome. Sorry mate but that's the truth!!You are not only hurting your wife but you are hurting yourself!What you are wanting in your fantasy is creating an emotional distance between you and your partner.You say you love her...at least do the right thing by her.I understand and yes it is true - there are ups and down in marriages - the only thing that can fix that is being open and honest with each other..Yep have to agree with you- porn may be the go.Good LuckFOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
How can one be truly happily married, be on a site without their partner knowing??Is that true happiness??I can never understand that shit...I read and hear it all the time.I'd kill to be in a relationship with someone and have happiness.To me, that means we are connected spiritually and are like one soul within two bodies...EQUALS.If one of us are hurt, then we both hurt!I'd do anything to fix that hurt for US to both happy.Starting with OPEN and HONEST communication.FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Seven years is not long I have been married 19. I think you could be in trouble, if you don't have kids then you must really consider the situation. It would be unfair on her and her expectations for life. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry OP.I'm just an CRANKY old fart tonight.FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ok, you know your wife better than we ever will.... ......but its fairly arrogant to assume that you cant talk to her without upsetting her.... yet.... you've decided to ignore the obvious fact that what your doing would upset her substantially more if she found out.My view is....... You have a pattern of behaviour..... and you are choosing to head towards repeating it, one concession at a time. It is inevitable that the temptation to meet someone you chat to, will take you there.If you value your marriage, and the woman in it.......Man the fuck up.... stop "believing/thinking" you cant talk to her.... and talk to her.Do it right by not making it all about you and what you want, and you are highly likely to lead the relationship into positive new communication, and strengths.End of sermonDG
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Please pardon me, but I am curious to know why did you marry your wife? or why do you want a marriage if you are thrilled by the chasing and being with another woman other than your own wife? If you just kept dating, at least the woman you hurt could easily walk out emotionally! At least your wife didn't need to go through tough decision if she ever found out what you're doing on RHP!!! Unfortunately, even if you may not think that just doing dirty chat to women on here is cheating, you are still cheating in the actual fact! Because you are interacting with a third party other than your wife! Just take a second and imagine, put yourself on the reverse position (i.e. your wife had a cheating history and you didn't, but she had sworn not to cheat on your, etc.), how would you react if your wife had done dirty chats to other men behind your back??? If you can imagine that and paint the hurtful picture, then you will find the answer as to if RHP is the site for you! Good luck OP!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
that being monogomous is not in your nature? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and there are plenty of us here the same. However, those of us who are evolved enough to understand that about ourselves are also evolved enough to not to hurt other people (especially those we love) in the process. It takes real courage to explain your sexuality to people. Hurt her now a little bit or later a whole lot. Your choice.
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP your probably scratching your head wondering why all these people who are here specifically to find a NSA, FWB, No commitment etc .. are all over you for being a 'coward' or a 'cheater' for doing the same? Don't worry about it, you're not the first, won't be the last and don't try to understand the glaring hypocrisy - you'll drive yourself mad.I will tell you from experience that you probably DO know your wife better than anyone else and she will probably react exactly as you expect. I was in the same position, had the talk (15 times over 2 years) and got exactly the reaction I always imagined I would. Marriage is not just about sex - far from it. After a decade or more you can grow apart in some areas of your life. Unlike most here I do not see the all or nothing approach to be the right one. If your wife no longer cares about or desires sex while your appetite grows more voracious is that a reason to toss your soulmate and children out in the street to start their lives over again on their own? I think not - that is the selfish, narcissistic approach.You'll get nowhere in a hurry being honest about your situation here. If you have no intention of meeting anyone then I suggest you lie about your marital status, add a few inches to your cock, embellish every experience you've ever had and enjoy your fantasy ... you'll fit right in.
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RHP User
12 years ago
@paintme I believe monogamy is not in anyones nature. Humankind was not meant to fly either...... but if we try really hard, we can do both. And the OP decided to try..... via a contract with his wife. That is not to say all happy marriages must be monogamous.... As you say, those which aren't have come to that arrangement via discussion, to negotiation.... to acceptance and to an agreement. It comes down to the courage of the OP, his self respect, and his respect for women in general. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi Shy (are you really shy :))I (stupidly) made a unilateral decision after 3 years of a sexless but loving marriage that I couldn't justify leaving her because we didn't have sex. But it tore me apart - she was, and still is, one hot chick. Frankly it was torture.2 kids (sex 2 times, kids 2 times - just like in Monty Python!) and nearly 10 years of marriage later she found her libido, but didn't want me because she saw me as someone without a libido. This is about as far from the truth as it's possible to be. And even now, about 2 years after us splitting up, I don't know what turns her on. She left me thinking something that wasn't true - BECAUSE WE DIDN'T COMMUNICATE!!!! That's seriously fucked!So why tell you that? Because you have two choices - either talk to her about your needs, or keep cheating on her (which you're doing - even though it's not physical). If she just doesn't want to meet you half way or enhance both your sex lives - you will eventually leave her. If she finds out about your online fun, she'll leave you.Don't stretch out the pain any longer than you have to. The sooner this issue is resolved, the sooner you can rebuild your marriage, or both of you can split up and have time to rebuild the life you want. Don't wait till the kids have left home. You both have a right to be happy and you both (no one) should waste time as it goes so amazingly quickly and resentment can take a long time to deal with.Good luck with this - it's actually the root (err... maybe I should try another word there?) of a big change in your life that's looming. It's a big deal.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Maybe your wife just needs a good fuck.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
You care for your wife, but you have needs that when expressed, upset her. I remember being upset when my ex-husband tried to talk to me. I just felt like a failure. I felt like that there was something really wrong with me. That I couldn't just switch my libido on like he could. When I tried to talk to him about my needs he didn't want "to make sex a huge performance". I took that to mean that I wasn't worth the effort. That kind of shit will destroy self esteem. I hope she doesn't feel like that.My opinion about all this stuff will always be clouded by my experience. I remained loyal as that is who I am. My husband fell down that slippery slope and ended up in another woman's bed. A lot of men blame the women and say that it's because she's not interested in sex anymore. Her libido has disappeared after the children were born or that she's witholding sex for . All really negative stuff. Blaming is poo and all too easy.What happened to us is as clear as day now. Our sexualities were very different and our needs weren't met by each other. He is now trying another monogomous relationship and me? Well .... I'm here .... and I get my performances.
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RHP User
12 years ago
When I posted in the forum I didn't expect to receive the responses I have, most of your questions I have already asked myself but it's hard to give the full story and maybe people shouldn't be so quick to judge, having said that I think I am going to delete my profile and open one on Ashley Maddison! That's a joke by the way. Thanks again for people's input. I guess to answer my initial question. No RHP is probably not the site for me! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
What were you expecting?
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' What were you expecting? Probably not an all vibrant and colorful sex kitten like spunky woman you are. Now can we get back to talk'n dirtyMado, Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was expecting people's opinions with regards to websites that offered good chat rooms that were there purely for talking about fantasies- Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Quoting 'paintme' What were you expecting? Probably not an all vibrant and colorful sex kitten like spunky woman you are. Now can we get back to talk'n dirtyMado, Tara xx probably not a lovely respectable lady, like you are mam.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The reason why people are judging you is because, YOU ARE NOT BEING HONEST TO YOUR WIFE!!The one person you love the most in this world.It's deceitfulness to her, you and relationship...no-one wants that!You can do what you want on here, no one is stopping you ..... it's a choice?Be weary tho, may bite you on the bum!!FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
A sensible and honest voice of reason ... all I can say is - "What he said " ...Quoting 'IndefatigableMe' OP your probably scratching your head wondering why all these people who are here specifically to find a NSA, FWB, No commitment etc .. are all over you for being a 'coward' or a 'cheater' for doing the same? Don't worry about it, you're not the first, won't be the last and don't try to understand the glaring hypocrisy - you'll drive yourself mad.I will tell you from experience that you probably DO know your wife better than anyone else and she will probably react exactly as you expect. I was in the same position, had the talk (15 times over 2 years) and got exactly the reaction I always imagined I would. Marriage is not just about sex - far from it. After a decade or more you can grow apart in some areas of your life. Unlike most here I do not see the all or nothing approach to be the right one. If your wife no longer cares about or desires sex while your appetite grows more voracious is that a reason to toss your soulmate and children out in the street to start their lives over again on their own? I think not - that is the selfish, narcissistic approach.You'll get nowhere in a hurry being honest about your situation here. If you have no intention of meeting anyone then I suggest you lie about your marital status, add a few inches to your cock, embellish every experience you've ever had and enjoy your fantasy ... you'll fit right in.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Forgive us..... ..... "we thought you said you were "happily married" DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Things aren't always clear, unless its brought to attention. FOXY- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well l tried that with my friend (besty) now I live in seperation while my wife fulfills her love interest with him and my 4 kids. As of 2 week's ago
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' that being monogomous is not in your nature? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that ...Exactly that - but OP, you can't call yourself "happily married" unless you resolve this issue. Me and Mrs Sparks have been happily married for two decades - then briefly grew unhappy and had to talk about why, we figured (together) that we were not meant to be monogamous and have opened our relationship to others. We play separately, my wife has a steady friend, while I'm not so lucky yet (you know how it is for men on this site). But the ABSOLUTELY necessary thing for you is to figure out what stage of life are you going through - do you have chidren, have you decided to not have more children, are they becoming teenagers yet? See, there is plenty of life left, no need to ruin your relationships (I'm not talking just with your wife, but your kids and rest of family) - if you cannot wait until she is ready or willing or both then just spend some time using a paid sex worker that will take care of your urges... it is far better than emotional cheating
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP not sure if you are still on here but the truth will set you free. I left my long term relationship because my partner constantly hid things from me... & then it all came out in the wash one day (years of lying & deceit- even if it was 'email chat' or flirting..) the ironic thing is, he is not meant to be monogomous and if he had actually been able to really talk to me we could have explored things together & not thrown away 6 years! Initially he started out with emails/texts but it always went that step further. Hence why I am here now to approach what is a happy relationship in a new, honest, completely open connection. I don't want to hide anything and the same for my new man whoever he will be! I was very grateful I didnt get married/have kids. He was engaged & pregnant within a year..& guess what? absolutely no issues cheating .. again. I dodged a bad marriage & possibly a lifetime of incongruency. At least give your wife a choice before she finds out anyway... ( we are smart you know!!) - Posted from rhpmobile
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