F46
Is it true?
October 08 2019
Comments
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RHP User
6 years ago
From my point of view , Have a partner what is very good woman and good mum in everyday life and very dirty mind in private life , is the best I could ask!!! Unfortunately is not that easy ... my last relationship last 5 years ( kurvasexy profile) she was totally opposite , she was not good in everyday life and not dirty mind innlrovste life ....I was swinging before then meet her and she knew from start ...at the end I tried to introduce her innthis world but she didn’t like ... for her we are everyone sick mind!!!and that’s it ... basically she can get drunk and fuck anyone any day but cannot go to party or meet someone with reason to fuck. A woman what is very good in everyday life is the first things must have in my mind , I can’t share life with someone what not good in everyday life ... if after is dirty mind and enjoy dirty things is just that more things what will make relationship better and last longer
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MsSuperFoxy
6 years ago
Men want a slut but don’t want to be with a slut? Read the book "The Ethical Slut". It's a great educational read. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
6 years ago
I’m only 40 so I guess that rules me out... Mr Dragon
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RHP User
6 years ago
It would be interesting to hear what the men think on here but I agree OP, that a lot of mens idea of a good relationship isn't with one who sleeps around a lot. Especially if a male would potentially want to settle down and have a family with someone. There will always be double standards with some men
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Hedonist_fun
6 years ago
I'm looking for the kind of girl you described! Sounds like a hell of alot of fun to me....
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RHP User
6 years ago
I will comment from my own mind. I don't know nor comment on what other men think. Before my eyes were open to the singing world I would never have been able to share my wife with anyone. I used to get insecure when she went out. Since having my eyes open and now am probably completely opposite in my mind and heart, I would love to find someone to have an ope relationship with. Potentially the men you are referring too want to have control rather than have an equal partnership. A woman who is confident and can attract a number of play mates would be intimidating and would mean the guy would possibly take a back seat to the healthy sex life of the lady. It would be an ego thing on the mans part and he would be insecure. Out of the relationship he would want the slut because he would just want to feel like a sex god. See, men are driven by the instinct to been seen as a champion and to procreate the species. Women are meant to lament at the feet of such a beast of a man and throw themselves at him. Not being the sex god and not being in control makes him feel inadequate and that doesn't sit well.
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nevahadsomuchfun
6 years ago
I’ll take a discrete slut any day... I’ve had some good girls but in the end they’ve been too good and too conservative for me. I don’t want to call them boring but I like a bit more excitement from life than they could offer.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I think we need to diferenciate between a women who is sexually liberated and a women that men have traditionally refered to as a slut. From my point of view and that of the men that I have spoken to about this, the main concern is trust and loyalty. A women who had a commitment to anothet man at the time you started seeing her is not an ideal choice for a partner because the next man will just as easily be able to take her from you if/when she becomes disillusioned with the relationship. A women who sleeps around to the extent that she is labled or is known as a slut within various circles is displaying signs that she may be carless, reckless, emotionally damaged, makes poor decisions, is easily manipulated ect. which again are not good traits for a future wife/mother to posses. I have never heard any man say, nor have I ever thought that just because a women enjoys sex and is a freak between the sheets it would somehow disqualify her as a potential partner or mother of his future kids. If we just switch roles for a moment, how many women would look at a "playa" as a potential husband/father? Wouldn't you have the same concerns of carlessness and poor judgement? How many women would feel good about investing their time, money and giving their heart and soul to a man that she was able to steal from another women? Wouldn't you also fear living in fear of the day that he will leave you for somebody else?
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RHP User
6 years ago
Read Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Ethical Slut. There’s a world of people out there who relish sex positivity. I don’t even bother with the narrow minded ones any more.
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DynamicCouple36
6 years ago
It’s a mans world And it boils down to the belief that men who sleep around are seen as studs, whereas women who sleep around are seen as sluts. Double standards.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I have found a woman just as you describe, even better, she lets me on here. She is the best mother and wife you could imagine, and has slept with well over 200 men. The attitude you describe does still exist though, at work on a slow day, things turned to sex, and how many partners have we all had. I mentioned my wife lost count somewhere North of 200 and they couldn't understand either why she'd tell me her number was so high (I LOVE that it is :)), and why it didn't bother me.
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just4fun48
6 years ago
My partner is a very good lady and I got with her thinking it was going to be another boring sexual relationship, I did know everything she did was from the goodness of her heart. Reason why I settled down with her. Never in a million years would I think she had a another side to her sexually. I don’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do and we make decisions together. we do everything together. What we do sexually doesn’t change how I feel about her and doesn’t place a tag on her. Shows you can get the best of both worlds with the right partner. Trust
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RHP User
6 years ago
Quoting 'timefortea' Before my eyes were open to the singing world I would never have been able to share my wife with anyone. I used to get insecure when she went out. I think the answer is right there as to why some men don't like promiscuous women - the problem lays not with the woman but with his insecurities.
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SSExplorer
6 years ago
Alas it seems you are falling for the wrong men. Reminds me of uni days, a friend was known to be a handsome, charming private school boy who had impeccable manners and liked by everyone. It was only later in the course did some of us learn he was a huge manslut. I remember in a bar, drunk, he said to me “I think I’ve fucked every single girl in this bar, they are all sluts! I’d never marry a girl like that” He went on to marry a beautiful virgin. I have been with some amazing women throughout my life and they were always the good girl by day, slut by night type. I happened to marry the beautiful virgin too, I actually thought she’d temper my naughty desires but turns out we are perfectly matched as she is the most alluring and purely sexual being I have ever known, she has to temper this to also be the most amazing mother and “good” wife I could ever have asked for. What do I think of her? She has my boundless respect and I feel blessed to share my life with her. Would I have thought different if she was a known slut? I don’t think so, I’ve had friends that might be labeled this and I didn’t lose respect for them enjoying themselves. Why didn’t I date girls like this? Likely because I’m a little shy deep down too :)
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nightingale8
6 years ago
Yes and no, OP. It's a spectrum. At the heart of the problem is a belief that sex is something the woman gives to the man and in doing so this devalues her. Both genders guilty in more subtle ways now, though least so here.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I actually have a male friend who met a lovely woman, a single mum who was very caring and giving. He couldn’t get his head to reconcile though doing the things he craved sexually to the woman he also loved. It is taking him a really long time to retrain his thoughts to the fact this caring woman also likes kinky sex. Previously he had experiences that were the opposite to this, where the woman he loved did not have a wild side etc. I don’t think every man (or woman) thinks this way, I think past experiences really set foundations that some people never get past. Like almost everything in our lives we base our opinions on what we’ve been exposed too. I think this community especially shows that open minded sexual beings are everywhere. And I do hope you meet some soon who help restore your faith in that! :)
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Samnite
6 years ago
It is sad to hear that men who have such a biased view of females and their sexuality still exist. Those men are generally very insecure, ignorant, brainwashed by their upbringing or religion. Or they are simply hypocrites who say one thing about their beliefs but act completely different. I could not think of a more perfect relationship that being with a woman who is intelligent, loving, caring, a great mother AND ALSO a completely perverted dirty minded uninhibited slut whenever possible.
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RHP User
6 years ago
The short answer is yes, most men don't seem to want a 'slut' for a partner. I think men have the stereotype ingrained in their head that they are supposed to be the hyper-sexual ones, and when they meet a women who matches or exceeds their sex drive they feel either intimidated or emasculated. I think these days most men know that women will have had multiple partners before them, but it definitely still can be an issue if they're the less sexually experienced/open one... Miss Little xx
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Mask_007
6 years ago
You are possible a bit far from reality. A vast majority of guys usually look for a girl that is a absolutely crazy, fun, sex mad with them and a fine princess in Front of others. Everyone one of my ex girlfriends was like that. And I love it every single second of.
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3SM_Events
6 years ago
I think its just insecure men you’re talking about. Most guys I know love women who have very few sexual boundaries and enjoy sex for the sake of sex. Probably the reason so many single guys are afraid to share their partners if/when they do form a relationship from here or other dating sites. They finally have a sexually liberated woman and are scared if she continues to play he’ll lose her. Personally I’m all for it. And not just behind closed doors.
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RHP User
6 years ago
If you met us your perception on the subject would change dramatically : ) “Men want a slut but don’t want to be with a slut?” Him; “I wanted a slut and I am with one.” Her; “he celebrates me being a slut.” “Are men that insecure that they only want a permanent relationship with a good girl? Who doesn’t have a high sex drive? Who doesn’t do dirty things? Him; I have no such insecurities, she dates and beds anyone she likes, she introduces them to me as well, we all talk in fact. And the ones she really likes, they get to fuck her in our own bed. “Why can’t a woman be both? A great partner, with a successful career, a good Mum, and an absolute sex bomb in private? “ Him; she is all that you described and much more. She is a loving and devoted wife and a very successful leader at work, also a sex bomb in private and in th many other places. Soon to be mum as well. We think that you need more exposure to people living alternative lifestyles who stray away from mainstream and live the lives they dream of by finding those who are exactly like them or at least similar to them. There are many men who support liberated and independent women and empowerment of women. They are just too busy enjoying and celebrating their lives that’s why you don’t hear about us or from us much : )
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RHP User
6 years ago
The usual #notallmen but yes, plenty of men still do hold the view that a woman who is very sexually adventurous is not partner material, even if it's not a view they are consciously aware of or would express out loud. I notice that most of the men commenting here say it's not true, but they are usually basing that on their own views or that of the men they know who are more likely to hold similar opinions. We women are the ones with personal experience of the other guys, and I have definitely come across them. They're probably not going to comment on this forum though...
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RHP User
6 years ago
Give me a sexually adventurous woman and a slut anyday! They are more open minded, open to exploring, want excitment, live with passion and a thirst for life and all it has to offer. Or two or three😈
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LetsFrolic
6 years ago
I wish I could fund a woman that was both
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LetsFrolic
6 years ago
Find*
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RHP User
6 years ago
Well my wife is both. I love that she has a real slutty side and is confident enough to embrace it. Since heading down this path together of exploring our relationship has become so much stronger and secure. I’m not saying it’s for all men but any man who wants a slut but wants a good girl too well ladies you know what to do with them.
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Mask_007
6 years ago
Azdaja, I hear what sre you saying, and in the other hand, Guys in general are not open or perhaps you girls have chosen and got attacked to a unsuitable guy? Is always more then one side to that conversation. I use to have different opinions about women's tastes for Men, and i discovered my self wrong when discovered that in reality I was the one making the not so good choices.
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RHP User
6 years ago
“plenty of men still do hold the view that a woman who is very sexually adventurous is not partner material, even if it's not a view they are consciously aware of or would express out loud. I notice that most of the men commenting here say it's not true, but they are usually basing that on their own views or that of the men they know who are more likely to hold similar opinion” Yes that is true. Societies in general are set up in certain way to function in certain way. There are few exceptions to this but most societies are patriarchal where power revolves around men, for men, and distributed amongst men. Therefore the result is certain gender roles being enforced, encouraged or praised. Male promiscuity has always been a source of admiration and much praise, mostly. Whereas women would be burned at stake only few hundred years ago for moaning too loud during sex as that’d be seen as possession by demonic entities. We came a long way then but not enough. Most of the violence and control towards women by their own partners are based on jealousy and fear of cuckoldry, there is a very interesting research about this. Lot of men are still too attached to power in unhealthy ways to look at things from trusty equal view. That’s not saying everyone should be non-monogamous but if men can desire and try to obtain that desire that is not projected towards their own wife, why shouldn’t the wife do the same? Having said all that, I believe more and more people are changing their views and seeking alternative ways to run their relationships. Things won’t stay the same forever.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I didn't say that all men think that way, nor did I say that I have had personal involvement with all of those men. My comment is based on observations I've made in a number of different contexts. The point is, men with those views do exist, and there are still quite a lot of them despite attitudes slowly changing. Also, you and the other guys saying that women are just picking the wrong men....it's not like these guys are going around with flashing signs around their necks. Sometimes it's not obvious straight away that they think like that.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I was going to.
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Mask_007
6 years ago
Hi Azdaja. I am really apologetic for making you understand that "I was pointingat you". Was not my intention. To my observations is not a wright or wrong answers to these. Is a combination of luck and observations in picking the best suitable choice. Could be a combination of facts that brings us to that kind of conclusion. I do understand the point about injustice against women, and do not agree.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Assuming #notallwomen. You could just as easily switch it around and ask why do women fuck "bad boys" and marry "nice guys"same same but different, I'ts just what we do with our liberation, it's neither right nor wrong it just is, and each to their own.The trick is in the timing, not to leave your run to late, to find your settling kind while you still have dating capital, and for males and females it's a different equation. Have fun.
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boxestotick
6 years ago
I think that everyone here generally agrees that a woman can be a great mum etc., and a “slut” on the side. Hell, that’s why we’re all here. Having said this, I honestly think 90% of the population disagree with us. A woman who enjoys sex is still seen as slutty, whether we like it or not. I have a couple of female friends at work who enjoy “slutty” sex but only tell me as they know my lifestyle and don’t fear being judged. We might all agree here but remember we’re a small (but growing) percentage of the population.
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RHP User
6 years ago
This explains my wife 100%. A beautiful woman, fantastic mum, soul mate and sexually adventurous behind doors. She loves men and I love women and we share each other with others. I love her and she loves me and she loves sex and I love that she loves sex with me or others. Seems most of the men on here agree on this topic. It also seems that the women who have commented here feel this is not true......The best way to explain why there is a perception is the exceptions who will most likely be the rich and wealthy, politicians, barristers, doctors and CEO’s who manage to get their ugly mugs in the gossip mags and into the mainstream media So that they can post false news. For the average blokes, like all of the men who have commented here, we love our sexually adventurous Ladies and want to spend our lives with ladies who love to explore their sexuality.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Is it that the women who have commented here who feel this are not looking for the average bloke? The ones who love women who are sexually adventurous rather than the rich and secure?
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Sawadee
6 years ago
If you want a super sexual appetite yet at the same time be a doting loving wife and mother something's bound to give. No one wants thier children hearing from some other kid in the playground that thier mother is sleeping around .. I dont have a problem with Mrs S enjoying the occassional interlude , what l dont like is the possible fallout should the guy she sleeps with starts mouthing his victory... Sleeping around is one thing , being able to explain it to those you love and care about another. Sticky subject...
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RHP User
6 years ago
Double standards only apply when people apply them So..... avoid those people and make your own statistics 😎
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Plain280
6 years ago
Its the old who wears the pants in the relationship thing AGAIN.For a female type person to be successful most guys have it in their heads that she had been a slut to be a success.Not true basically since more women entered into the work force competing for jobs can sometimes be seen as a male verse female for various reasons. The mainly men who have been displaced in the workforce either by technology or a combination of technology and reduced people requirements have turned into a virulent conservative bunch of NEANDERTHALS. who tend to blame women and thereby re-enforce this belief system.I keep on going back to thinking and be having to suit this century not the 19th & 20th Century.Sorry about being obtuse but this is my personal take.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I’m just a typical lad and for me it’s like this; I want a women that is an independent thinker, self assured and that knows herself and what she wants. For me those qualities are attractive. In the bedroom, I find it so sexy when a women is open about loving sex and knows what see wants and can communicate it. A women can be incredibly beautiful but be a dead trout and not sexy at all. We all want partners that are adventurous, courageous, know what they want and love sex. But those qualities are going to lead a young person to a path of self discovery, and experimentations. So how Care’s about the past and her numbers, - you should be thankful because those numbers helped make her the great person and lover your with now. GIRLS - GO GET SUM!!
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