M49 F35

Is this right or wrong?

September 21 2015

Hey all, I've noticed a fair bit on these forums with regards to Men not reading woman's or couples profiles or more so they do but still choose to send pm's, flirts etc and how you guys get annoyed...Rightfully so I say! Buuuuut..There is some guys on here who do respect your wishes as we should and I am one of those guys except I am indeed guilty of the offence myself lol . I will paste an example of a pm I sent to a couple who had asked not to get them from single guys and for all intense purposes I shouldn't of but I did so with good intentions! I am absolutely open to comments/opinions etc as long as there not defamatory as really there's no need for it lol So...Is this ok to do or should have I just respected there requests on there profile as a whole? Hi Guy's , First up please let me say this isn't a message to try to join you. I respect your requests no matter what they are and I am very aware of your single guy/flirts/pm request. I know that this also may hold very little bearing and that is perfectly fine too 😆 I would like to commend you both on a very well thought out, presented and exciting profile! As part of a couple on her up until we went our own ways (unfort) a while back i am well aware of the constant bombardment from all sides..but also the one's whom actually take the time to present and stand tall within themselves as a couple for them as a couple and your profile In my opinion does just that! It is very nice to see and I commend you for that! I hope you don't mind me sending you this pm and apologies to you if I have upset you in anyway. But sometimes it's worth taking a bit of a risk just to let somebody know your thoughts Well done to you both! I wish you continued success, the joy of being honest within yourselves as a couple is a step that many are too scared to take but damn well should as we know the outcome as it's prevalent at any given night at the local "Shop". This is 100 percent obligation free and i truely mean that! If I achieve nothing other then to put a smile on your face as a couple for a few seconds then it has been worth the risk of stepping over your requested boundaries..I do so for the correct reason's and always will. Big up's to you both! 😆 Richard. The pm has been read but no reply received and to be honest..I don't need one as it really was sent 100 percent obligation free.

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RHP User

10 years ago

So what you are saying is that you respect their desire not to be contacted by single men but you are the exception to the rule?...they haven't even read your message so clearly not xxFreya

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sweetgem

10 years ago

I think you should have just kept your good impression of the profile of this couple in question to yourself, Naughty1sWanted, especially if they have specifically written the request in their profile. Wanting to applaud someone for having a great profile is one thing, but showing your respect for the couple by not over stepping their boundaries is the ultimate importance of showing people that you truly understand the meaning of "respect"! I would assume that the majority of couples on here do have children and/or busy careers. So they are no doubt having a busy lifestyle and schedules. Therefore, for them to have received an unwanted message from someone that is out of their league, it is not a good impression of you on their part. Of course, this is merely my own view and I do not speak for this couple in question at all. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

Yip which is why I wanted to get a couple of opinions as to if i should do this ever again. There profile was really good and its not to often you find ones that stand out as this one did so i hummed n harred over sending them anything. My sole intention was just as I wrote above and was never to join or to have contact from them. I am unsure as to how strict there views on pm's from single guys as a huge amount of profiles do and some do it so they can find a single guy at there own pace. either way I am aware I went beyond there requests but did so with genuine intent.. even with that good intent I still crossed those boundaries hence why I am posting in here to see if the broad scale of members would be ok accepting this type of pm or no you at all times should respect what is written on there profile and I will choose my future actions from then on out. Please be aware I do know that I have crossed that line, I am not a disrespectful person in general which I hope would show in the content of my pm but it is disrespectful of me to have sent it in the first place.. They "have" read the pm and viewed my profile many times since..

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RHP User

10 years ago

If it was a message just to compliment them on their profile. It's good that you're not expecting a reply 😃 From personal experience, if I reply to those outside my criteria, they seem to believe there's a chance, albeit a small one, and they will continue to pursue. That's when I have to put my foot down and tell them "thanks, but no thanks". And that's harder for me to do than to just read the compliment, smile and put it aside. I hope that helps you to understand it from the receiving end, OP. All the best in your search 😃 - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

your message....is like a hardly normal catalogue or a target catalogue.... It's in your mailbox; you have a flick through it; you think "hmmm there's some cool stuff going on there" But..... You don't go into the store.... Same thing here really.... Or you could look at it another way..... You're a mailbox that clearly states no junk mail....yet the fuckers still put it in there lol...do you even look at them?? I doubt it.... Or..... You receive a phone call from a competition telco..... You hang up the phone thinking "if I wanted to change companies I'd have called them....the cunts!!!!" Yep....ok I'll stop now :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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MissBishere

10 years ago

just sent that flirt that says "I Just wanted to say I loved your profile"

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RHP User

10 years ago

I dont see anything wrong with sending a nicely written compliment. I have done it myself and recieved some myself. But agree with tulips, they can be used as a buttering up tool to get a foot in the door, so to speak. So not replying is a way to avoid that.

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RHP User

10 years ago

There are some couples openly looking for men, some definitely against them (and it's normally very expressly stated), and some in the maybe or "exception possible" category. Some are open but have not listed single men as a way of limiting contacts. I have managed in the past to be the exception, so it happens. But you are still pushing your luck, if they don't want messages from men you may still risk a backlash, regardless of how respectful you have been in your actual message. But on the other side, I often also send obligation free messages to people whom are not looking for me, typically showing appreciation for a forum post or well written profile. Generally I get a thank you message. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

Dont see anything wrong in sending a compliment letter as the OP has done ... He did not send anything intrusive ... nor did he send a 'want to meet up ' message . And they have read the message.. Message conveyed and received. Tomorrow is another day! - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

Was the point of your message to simply offer them a random compliment... .... or as I suspect...... to0 illicit reply from them?! I think its pretty obvious.

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RHP User

10 years ago

messages to people... although, it is MOSTLY due to forum interface..in which case.. I title the message "From the Forums"From memory, I have NOT yet received a nasty reply.Buuuut:When I was on here first time.. under a different name, I was more blunt, and less appreciative of others privacy... THEN I received some nasty replies ... .

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RHP User

10 years ago

Personally I think your message is a bit toadying. But I've sent similar messages, some have been well received and some ignored... In spite of popular opinion, it's not a capital offence to message anyone in here or anywhere else. In short it's a low response but potentially high reward so knock yourself out mate. Hp xo Because you're worth it...

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RHP User

10 years ago

your profile pictures, really? Main picture is great, but then we get hit with the close up smoke hanging out of your mouth, and more party animal type pictures. What kind of women are you hoping to attract? Just saying

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RHP User

10 years ago

Sorry, I don't understand why you would bother, if you honestly didn't want anything in return. So you like their profile? That's nice. You are not what they are seeking so I doubt your opinion matters. And then you go and write a forum about it. Seeking even more validation or attention? My apologies if I seem cynical but we've all seen this far too often. Best of luck to you though in whatever it is you are looking for. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

Just think that it was a nice gesture. Like a gesture in complimenting a lady in town, or holding a door for someone or even just letting someone know that they are appreciated..it is all the same to me. However, as I have read in previous entries, this may well be a way to get a "foot in the door". This can start to progress in a wrong area if you are intending to have selfish motives carried out... which again I do believe that for the sake of a few who do want to have their own way get brushed off, others who do just want to compliment or do something nice for someone is brushed off as well. There was a lady in a shopping centre who was a carer of a disabled man. She was struggling a bit to settle him down but she was being so nice and patient with him. People walked past and around her as she was struggling....the fact that she was struggling got to me but what made me do something was seeing dozens of people walk past her. So with that I walked up and offered her help...when she politely declined I went on to say thank you for what she is doing...and that it takes a special person to do what she was doing. I walked over to help, she refused my offer, I didn't cross any boundaries as I accepted her decline, I complimented her...we both walked away with a smile. Happy days.

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RHP User

10 years ago

I think your just being a fuckin" smart arse !

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RHP User

10 years ago

Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Was the point of your message to simply offer them a random compliment... .... or as I suspect...... to0 illicit reply from them?! I think its pretty obvious. I think its nice to get compliments. I send compliments from time to time without any expectation too. I have to wonder if there would be so much come-back if the op had sent a message to someone whose age criteria didn't match. OP don't stress it, and next time, just enjoy your moment of pleasure from doing something nice. It is ok to be a nice guy

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RHP User

10 years ago

Thanks all for your input, I appreciate your thoughts and opinions weather you have suspicions or not. I am who I am and have no need to prove myself to anybody. The comments where the opinion is rude is yours to own as is the polite ones. I have asked the question and received the feedback I was looking for and am thankful for that. At the end of the day...We all do and say things and judge other's by there actions and words. Those who feel the need to assume an answer not solely from what information is available is there downfall as that information used in there assumption must only come from ones previous actions. Cheers guy's.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Your preachy rebuttal prompts me to point out the obvious.... seeing as you asked for comment by writing your quite long topic. You asked for Anders, received two different kinds..... selected the one you wanted and scorned the ones you didn't. So I'm wondering if you only want to hear what you only want to hear..... why ask???!!!

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RHP User

10 years ago

Why should he take on board being told someone thinks he is a "fucken smart arse"? I wouldnt take much notice of a comment like that either. Is there a forum law that says you have to accept all comments? He doesnt sound preachy to me, more like a well mannered person.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Sure, miss willow tree.... I'd ignore one message like that too.... but that is just one message.Others have suggested his comment about not requiring a reply is not actually the case.And the OP has been critical of that side of replies. I see it like this. He has sent a profile a message... stating that he didn't require an answer Yet, he has gone to a lot of effort to draft a rather long topic about a message which he says he didn't require an answer to.... but... notes his message has been read and seems eager to receive a response. Otherwise.... where is the "risk" to their "boundaries"??? I believe... he does expect a response ..... otherwise you simply wouldn't invest so much in a topic about a response you aren't waiting for. The OP said he was open to all comments.These are mine, and a few other peoples. DG

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RHP User

10 years ago

Quoting 'willowtree_2' Why should he take on board being told someone thinks he is a "fucken smart arse"? I wouldnt take much notice of a comment like that either. Is there a forum law that says you have to accept all comments? He doesnt sound preachy to me, more like a well mannered person. Thank you for stating what seems common sense to me. I frequently absent myself from the forums because of the judgemental and "know it all" attitude of some respondents and I am a seasoned forumite I prefer the genuine questioning and the thanks of this OP who appears to be a relative newcomer to the forums. I hope the negative comments have not put him off participating.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Obviously I should have put a wink after my comment as it was very much tongue in cheek. As in I just think he wants some recognition for being too clever by half to send a message to someone who clearly doesn't want one. Carry on.

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