M41
It doesn't need to be "R U OK" day. Suicide and depression are here 24/7-365
February 01 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Should be practiced every day :) It was my New Years resolution to do one everyday, for no other reason than I can :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
FOLLOW UP ON IT! . Memo, you're right, those little touches do make a difference. Just a smile or a laugh with a stranger can make a difference you might not realise. A man walking his dog, who very simply commented on the weather lately, made a big difference to me the other day. He stands out as a bright spark in a dark moment. It makes me smile to remember him. . I've been calling you Nemo, it's only just now that my bleary eyes can see that's a M not an N, sorry 'bout that hehe. Maybe I will see about those glasses...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'RubenesqueRed' Random acts of kindness Should be practiced every day :) It was my New Years resolution to do one everyday, for no other reason than I can :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's ok peachy, I've been called much worse than Nemo lol. That's obviously where I got the name from. Just twisted it to suit. Trying to find me = findingmemo
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RHP User
12 years ago
Suicide is a big one in young men. My oldest lives in Melbourne and he lost now the third person in just 2 years to suicide.One was a housemate, one a young man he worked with and the last one just a few weeks ago was his girlfriends brother. We all are under pressure, everybody wants and wants...we need to look around us and smile and have a kind word for people.We don't touch anymore we don't hug enough and we just have so distant most of the time towards each other.Memo...thank you for this, its beautiful you thought and remind us, we need no special day to say hey how are you going? L Suicide and depression
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
GREAT STUFF and a good reminder as well. I've done exactly that this week to a girlfriend of mine, who is having a rough time. I Rang her to see if she is doing OK. The other week she rang me quite upset, so I said "Just get in the car and come over" She did and I took her to my special place, down by the water's edge. We sat on the grass and just chatted about anything and everything. Then we went and indulged in ice-cream to sooth the soul. FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
apparently, R U OK day primarily bought the issue into the spotlight. Been happening for centuries and will keep on. Everyone has been touched by it, regardless if they know or not R U OK.....
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madotara69
12 years ago
Findingmemo, is a lifestyle, it makes for a lot of people a good life. Everyone we know and or of, are OK Thanks for thinking of them, we are OK, how about you? Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Personally I'm pretty great at the moment, this was brought about by a woman who attempted suicide at my workplace. It was a stark reminder that not everyone is feeling their best. And that we all have a responsibility to check in on our friends and family.
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madotara69
12 years ago
When we went to the recent meet and greet, we left all the naughty folk and headed for the last train, something to eat on the run aswell, romantic yes it all is. We were met by a man on a corner, simply "are you ok" started a story we shall never forget. We answered with our plans, which led to talking of Oysters and Hawkesbury prawns, the reality of no chance for making the last train that would have left ten minutes ago any way, so we chatted, Tara laughed and won the heart to a gentleman entranced to ask if we would keep him company by inviting us to have dinner, his shout, and genuinely an offer towards friendship. We ended up in a coffee house, amongst half a dozen tables of local folk, Even a squad of police blokes, on the beat. Next to Kings Cross backpackers it was, claimed to be the best coffee in town, got to say it was great coffee, there is coffee then there is banter while sipping on it. The Doors playing in the background, Our little toy robot dog, one straps to a leg, press his little ear and he goes to town rooting your leg, with the final gravy stroke. well we could not persuade the policemen to take him along for protection. It was a laugh. Turned out our new friend knew some people we do through the music world, we must have drunk half a dozen Cappuccinos ate some of the tasty savoury pastry snacks from the menu, from midnight to 7 maybe 8 am. (escorted us to the station by taxi with fairwell) We had someone just walking past, ended sitting for a couple of hours as we shared stories. Just one of those precious things that happen when people just be people. Yes it matters that people are OK. Who would have missed out if we had ignored that gesture (the meaning to it) are you ok? A lot of people it turned out for an answer. Companionship is a special thing that, Sorry Gazpacko, is the universal gift, the euphoric cosmos where our sprits mingle. Think Gazpachio, asks a lot of questions in his answers. (Gift of the gab) to those who listen, he he. People matter, all that matters. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's not just about asking someone if they are ok.....that's just, well, not good enough in my books (pardon me) If you're gonna ask someone if they ok, you gotta mean it as well and not just ask because you think you're doing a good deed. The best thing one can ever do is to treat each person kindly and be sure that it's not your actions that are going to drive that person to the edge of the cliff. I've been there before - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
Was the point for the story, in this case a stranger, asked r u ok, he in his own way saw two people caught in the city until morning, he did something about it, and saw us to the early morning train. He asked for nothing in return, only our company at a cost to him. What we gave was just appreciation and ourselves, mostly what people want to it all. We would have been ok, because we have each other, when things looked grim, Tara found reason to laugh instead of dwell, maybe that we have is something he misses, maybe us being ok was what he needed to feel ok. It was the unspoken words and actions that made it a memorable moment, it's when feelings find the ways to speak.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Unspoken words to deeds.
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
I always think of that phrase "A friend is someone who steps in when the world steps out"
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RHP User
12 years ago
The point I was trying to make is that it all starts with asking if someone is ok. Then obviously helping, advising or comforting from that point in whatever way that person needs. I agree that talk without action is actually far worse than doing nothing. False hope for a person in a fragile state of mind can be "just another let down" which becomes the straw that breaks the camels back. Raising awareness in any way I can is my way to pay it forward somewhat because of my own experiences.
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
to me it means I am genuinely interested in how that person is (mentally and physically) want to know all about them and because I care or if there is anything I could do for them. Smilingwithfun I love that quote! Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
If only there was an easy solution to the problems associated with depression and mental illness. A lot of people that suffer from depression are not easy to get along with and will isolate them selves from people deliberately. it is also hard to empathize with someone in the throws of depression and more so if they are feeling suicidal. By all means be available when needed, be a friend but don't think you are going to save them, do not say you know how they feel (unless you suffer the same illness). The line between enabler and carer is not clear. It is very important to recognize a manic state, it is very important that you are willing to do more than be just a friend for at times you have to be prepared to do things that they may not like. If you suspect that they are intent on harming them selves do not assume you can talk them down. Seek professional help, call the cops, PET (psychiatric emergency team) or MHERL (mental health emergency response line) or just call these organisations if you have questions or are unsure what to do. (PET and MHERL are in WA, I am not sure about the other states.) Many sufferers will find it difficult to make the first step. Encourage them to seek help, sometimes all they need to get help is support and a hand to hold when they go. The mental health services in Australia are good. There is no one solution fits all, nor is depression just one illness. So be careful, compassion is not always the easiest and kindest option.
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RHP User
12 years ago
One can only hope your excellent thought provoking post is read by many & encourages all who read it to realise & understand (if they don't already) that caring doesn't cost a thing & the simple act of letting someone know you care can make a difference in not only their day but also their life & well being. Reading the responses so far has me smiling in the knowledge that there are so many awesome, amazing, wonderful people who read & participate in these forums. People we will all possibly never meet in the flesh but many of whom we can all call friends we could count on if ever needed. We are all on RHP for our own reasons & seeking many & varied things from the site but the fact so many are happy to open up & share their life experiences, knowledge, advice & support & feel free to do so without judgement (from most) is what makes the forum section of the site the great place it is. Mr fun
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RHP User
12 years ago
Call me two weeks ago and I had my hands full and couldn't have the normal lengthy chat that we normally have, so I excused myself. I got back to her today, and she told me about her struggles with depression (which I had been unaware of) and that she'd been in a dark place when we last spoke... GULP. She did seek help, and she is feeling better now... But the thought of what might have been has left me a little shocked... She has promised to tell me if she finds herself there again, and at least I am now aware... She is a very special person who's friendship I value highly... I'm glad that she sought and received help. Xo Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks for this post. Giant thanks.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Anyone heard from Qetentfa... sorry that isn't how you spell it. Freya, anyone heard from Freya recently? Wondering today how she is.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Freya sends her love 💋💋 I texted her this morning... She was all excited about her first day back still school... 👍👍 I'll kept her know that you miss her meeka. And big hugs to amicus... You're a gem mate 👍👍 Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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madotara69
12 years ago
Amicus is a gem. Mado Tara xx
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Might txt her and see if she's got time for a cuppa next week. God Bless ya Meeka xx
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