M39 F37
Its not you, its me
July 10 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm with ya.....celibacy is an awesome remedy.... That way any anxiety is allowed to escape - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
to hear, see and feel my partner climax. Nothing sexier than a man losing his control as he cums. Its kind of a let down if he doesn't. I can understand if it is something you are used to but for a partner and especially a new partner I would feel ripped off or that I'd failed in some way. I think that is because I love to give as much as receive. I'm interested to see if other males regularly experience the same as you OP. Curious to know how if makes you feel. Do you feel like you missed out on the end game? LG
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RHP User
10 years ago
I do last quite a while, but not in all circumstances. Often enough in group/party situations I won't get there, as the focus is on the woman/women and I won't get the right position or time needed, or an opportunity to finish by hand. A sexologist informed me that a long time single man (like me for the most part) gets used to the feel of his own hand for pleasure and climax, effectively desensitising him to other forms of touch, but it is possible to "retrain" yourself in this regard. I have never come from oral alone, and many intercourse positions don't get me there. But some do, some just rub me up the right way, but the same position can vary widely between women too. As for oral, the underside of the penis is most sensitive, I prefer licking/play on this area more than the up/down in-mouth motions. I have come though from "breast fucking" :) Yes, I do feel a little let down without a happy ending. But I'm also disappointed in myself for feeling as such, because that can be taken as being too focused on my own pleasure. Which I'm not, I am all about HER interests, so that feeling is a conflict for me. But I feel better after an event if/when I finish off at home ;) But in any case I don't mind being able to last. Firstly, for a one-on-one, I can properly wear a woman out, and secondly, I actually prefer finishing by hand for her, as I LOVE the visual nature and eroticism of it. So I look for women that also love this, as not only do I get a happy ending (or 2 or 3), but doing so is actually in HER interest also. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
For those that know me, they know that not every scenario need be about sex and/or orgasms. A tender touching and kissing session is great, as is a massage alone, as is a shower or bath together. The issue of climaxing or not relates to full sexual play. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've been with guys who lasted very long or didn't come it all, for various reasons. One partner started taking antidepressants while we were seeing each other. He'd taken them before and therefore knew they'd affect his ability to climax. I'm glad he told me. Had I not known, I may have thought it was me. If I'm given a little heads-up beforehand, a guy taking long to ejaculate or not getting there at all is really a non-issue for me (providing he feels the same). My 2cts.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
For me its nothing to do with not enjoying your partner. More the opposite. I usually take a long time because i enjoy my female partner having a great time. I can control my thoughts to be able to go as long as required. A lifetime of controlling the mental space. Sometimes it works against me. When she states shes had enough and wants me to cum. Then i have to adjust those thoughts and reverse the tide. Its a situation for me that i have to read the moment. If l read it wrong, i take too long and miss my cue. Worth the wait though. Just another reason that older guys are better than the young. Try an oldie......... Annie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think any girl would think it was her. I completely agree with Meander, if you have any issues in that department you should at least mention it so she doesn't feel inadequate. There has only been a handful of guys who have been able to please me and I do tell my prospective partners how difficult I am to please. Ofcourse they then see that as a challenge to try and make me cum and they still get upset when they fail. See so it's both sides that can feel inadequate but being open and reassuring your partner is key to avoid hurt feelings
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
I have had a couple of lovers who were similar to you. It had nothing to do with their level of excitement, they were not on drugs, and no.... it did not worry me. That's because they both told me about it prior to us playing, so I knew what to expect and was not worried that I was the reason for it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
What Leo said about the sharing and caring What Meander said about it not being an issue for her if its not an issue for me. What kiss said about communication Its not uncommon for me to not climax....even during very extended sessions. I don't treat it like a goal or finish line for either of us. I focus on pleasure and mutual enjoyment.
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RHP User
10 years ago
as I had a partner like that recently but he told me beforehand so I think that is important. I discovered oral sex decreased the time before he ejaculated too so that became part of the foreplay if I wanted us both to come at the same time. Didn't seem fair that I was having all the fun.
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RHP User
10 years ago
That people get insecure about something as inconsequential as whether their partner cums or not or takes too much time to cum. OP......do you watch a lot of porn?
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lifetoshort86
10 years ago
It's good to know that it happens to others, I will remember to give my partners in future a little heads up, it definitely dosent bother me and I still enjoy the sex.. I love seeing my partners enjoying themselves and that's generally where I get my enjoyment from - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
If there isn't more to sex then the climatic culmination I'm doing something wrong. It happens, and I'm sure how you handle it will be the context on how the woman you're bedding will feel about it. Can't see it being a big deal, if it isn't a big deal to you. Communication :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Many guys don't cum or take a long time to do so. It is not an issue of being able too but more an issue of letting the fun last. Many guys completely go off sex after they cum so they try to hold it back as long as they can. I hold off if the mood is right. But I can recharge fairly quickly so don't mind cumming if I can have half an hour to recharge, but i am over trying to break records and blowing dust as the sun comes up. Think your self lucky as there are guys that seem to cum as soon as they are touched, and then they go off sex completely. The blow and goes. Sex is too much fun to waste like that. The good thing is that holding back (edging) can make for some very powerful orgasms, but there is a point where it can go past the sweet spot and then I either just get it done or give up and just enjoy the sex.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I take a long time with my wife without a rubber and sometimes not at all (we both call it karma coz I was a little bit of a selfish lover early in our relationship) When playing with others and using rubber 95% of the time its not going to happen for me at all. But I LOVE watching whom ever I'm with enjoying themselves and after they are done and content i'll usually get there with oral especially when its the wifey she has mad skills and knows exactly what I like (after 12 years you'd hope so wouldn't you) Interestingly when in 69 I will sometimes cum very quickly I have read somewhere that it has something to do with the female pheromones (?) released when aroused.Im not sure if thats true or not but it is the one time I feel like I'm going to explode at any second.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' What Leo said about the sharing and caring What Meander said about it not being an issue for her if its not an issue for me. What kiss said about communication Its not uncommon for me to not climax....even during very extended sessions. I don't treat it like a goal or finish line for either of us. I focus on pleasure and mutual enjoyment. I beg your pardon? I think it's because you are not communicating to your partner about how to get you off. Now you can get yourself off each time can't you? See........ your very own arguments you have put to others can be said to you to DG.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'lifetoshort86' It's good to know that it happens to others, I will remember to give my partners in future a little heads up, it definitely dosent bother me and I still enjoy the sex.. I love seeing my partners enjoying themselves and that's generally where I get my enjoyment from - Posted from rhpmobile Definitely let them know because us chickies can be sensitive to that.... and yeah, after a few times sometimes you do start to wonder if it is because the guy is not that into a us. So nice to know.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have a few partners that don't cum for hours or even days. Their focus is on me and they adore giving me multiple orgasms. Being able to move from position to position and experience hours of pleasure with a super hard cock is heaven. If I let them know I want to feel them cum early on, they will change their mental space. But if we leave it too late it's almost impossible. I've had a few surprises when they've come early though, and it's sometimes satisfying that they couldn't control themselves. But overall I prefer a guy who will last and last and last. 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'd love to meet u!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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lifetoshort86
10 years ago
Well in future I will definitely make it known to my partner before anything happens because I'm definitely not the guy to be an ass and make them feel uncomfortable.. and I certainly do love seeing my partner climax multiple times over a long sessions I definitely get enjoyment with that i know I'm doing things right - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'lifetoshort86'I certainly do love seeing my partner climax multiple times over a long sessions I definitely get enjoyment with that i know I'm doing things right So would you feel you are not doing things right if your partner didn't come multiple times? I thought we'd just gone over this!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'gypsyblue292' I'd love to meet u!! - Posted from rhpmobile Thanks so much :) Keep an eye on the Meet & Greets that get organised.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thankfully for only a couple of the above comments... Just because men are talking about issues regarding not climaxing and/or the time/s or situations when it might not happen, doesn't mean we are simple minded blow-and-go creatures, that don't realise there is more to sex and intimacy. I congratulate men that are willing to risk talking publicly about ANY matter of personal importance to them, too many men (especially men) keep their thoughts and feelings and issues to themselves and don't communicate. If you really want men to communicate, putting them back in their box when they do, is somewhat counter-productive. There is now a thread on the "taste of semen", an even more simple minded topic... just saying...
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RHP User
10 years ago
It's normal too happen every now and then - especially if anxiety is involved. For it to happen most of the time though? Might be worth checking your blood pressure next time you are at the doctors. Although I am pretty sure you are fine.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Cum to soon, cum too late, no cum at all. We all face performance thoughts throughout the act. But doesnt it all seem worthwhile when on those occasions you both nail it and cum together in a magical finish. Not often but memorable when it happens.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I beg your pardon? I think it's because you are not communicating to your partner about how to get you off. Now you can get yourself off each time can't you? See........ your very own arguments you have put to others can be said to you to DG. Actually..... The reason I may not ejaculate during sex is because Id rather stop before she becomes sore..... ...... which is a sensation I can't gauge personally. Apology accepted.... when you offer it lol
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RHP User
10 years ago
No way! You need to take responsibility of your orgasms DG and communicate. It's much better if you do. I think you need to man up, relax, communicate, stop wanking so much, train yourself, .... :p
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RHP User
10 years ago
band you need to stop having so many sexual thoughts about me. Perve. lol
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RHP User
10 years ago
Only you DG. ;-)
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