M42
Job Application
November 29 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
maximum with XXX. Impressive.
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RHP User
16 years ago
very clever Barney. You forgot to mention that you're really good with figures. :p hugs Gaz
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jake Barnes, Thank you for your application to the position of : man for friendship, companionship or other. It is exxxcellent to see that you have previous experience in the above mentioned role, as the current position advertised requires experience, as well as being flexxxible,, being able to Multitask, there will also be times where you will be required to work outside of your normal working hours, as well as after hours and week ends. Please let us know if this will be a problem!Look forward to hearing from you.Kind Regards<<>>
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well done Barney!!! You rock babe!!! Brought a smile to my face...Let us know if any hot employers take you up on your application..lololol.. sweetpetite41 xxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
that is very cleaver top marks for thinking outside the box xxxx Mrs B
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Miss Trish, I hereby request to be included as part of the interview process of the abovementioned Mr. Jake, in my role of Oral Communications Manager. Mr Jake refers to his previous role and his great skills and I think that I could place myself in the perfect position in which to attest to exactly what these skills entail and give my expert opinion. Specifically, does the candidate have any skills with rope, restraints, handcuffs and the like? Looking forward to hearing from you, Miss Trish, and perhaps joining you, Gaz and Miss Honey on the Official RHP Interview Board. Submissively yours, Miss Sophie
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Miss Trish, Potential breach of OH&S- Due to the rigorous and somewhat physical testing requirements put in place by the Oral communications Manager, there will be a requirement for an OH&S representative, to ensure procedure is followed. Following recommendations have been made- 1- A full safety audit and examination of OC Manager should take place prior to testing of candidate. 2 - As the Oral Communications Manager, will invariably be blindfolded at some stage, company procedure should allow for the OH&S Officer to be present at all times. 3 - Should the candidate struggle with any part of the testing, the OH&S Officer, may step in and guide/Instruct said candidate I hereby apply for the position of OH&S Officer of the board! Boy, who would have thought you needed so many personnel just to interview a potential candidate. No wonder we require so many levels of Government!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Barney..for the most wittey, original, and humourous posting topic of 2009. Normally I'm against datefinder enties in the forum..but damn dude good entry. Almost happy to offer Kilee as your prize...almost Trev <<<< thinks Barney will get a new rewarding position with a glamourous new employer very soon !
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RHP User
16 years ago
Barney!! Love it!! Please let us know if you find a HOT employer!! kisses sweetpetite41xxxxxxxx Lmao..ya all....
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Applicant, It is clear that you did not read correctly the submission forms for this position. All forms must be completed in triplicate and the white copy being mailed to MissHoney, the Red copy being mailed to Trish and the Green copy to Gaz. Given that you have not adhered to paragraph 3 sub section D of the application form you will need to resubmit within 3 working days or else the position will be considered filled by the next available person. It is clear to me too from a management position that whilst our interview panel is keen to conduct the interviews that they too have failed to understand that management reserve the right to inspect said interviewees using whatever procedures they deem fit for the position. Signed Management :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Panel, Please accept this triplicate submission for the abovementioned position. While I am aware that a suitable candidate has alread applied, my previous experience in Youthful Optimism, obtained from the School of Hard Knocks, deems this to be a valid SUBMISSION. My hours are flexxxible, as am I. I learn new skills quikly and aim to satisfy, believeing that repeat business is the foundation of success. I am aware of the stringent recruitment policy attached to this position application, and look forward to exxxcelling in demonstrating my suitability in all areas. In previous roles I hve endured long periods supporting others in a variety of demanding positions, and am not afraid of working up a sweat in the process. Photography is a side business of mine, and as such I can bring a camera to the interview session if required, to demonstrate my talents and provide a photographic learning device for future applicants. While the position has not been advertised as an indoor or outdoor role, I have experience working with crowds and enjoy both personal interaction and meetins of a much larger scale. Should I be sexxxessful, I am also willing to conduct an internal review of your exhausting RHP applicant screening committee, one by one, to determine if they are all required. Yours, Michael C P.S. All props must go to Barney for this, it is the funniest post of the year, well thought out and deserving of any form of award that can be given!!! ;)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Having just read the forum "WTF is with some guys?", I hopped over to this one. Oh, the contrast! You boys have nailed it (or should be nailing it frequently). THIS is what gets my attention every time; a well worded, witty, tongue-in-cheek application. Sadly, I'm out of both Barney's and MC's employer age range, and too far away to take advantage of MC's flexxxibility and youthful optimism *sigh*. To everyone on this forum ... YOU ROCK!! Thanks for putting the smile back on my face :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
You're trying to replace me aren't you.....I knew it ! damn you all to hell... i never liked the job anyway. Good luck working with these wankers Barney consider this my resignation...stupid management !!!! Trev
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RHP User
16 years ago
my application is forwarded forthwith...in sevenplicate as there appear to be seven interviewers...specialising in...butt wiggling...cheeky texting...oral lairising...suck-ulent stroking...and will wear tool belt at all times...providing being poked with my...errr...hammer...is not a problemthis candidate also promises to be... professional at all times... treat all cats at night with respect... provide no hatchet jobs... will only tell women what they do right in bed... and will be a reliable man...CheersJose...
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RHP User
16 years ago
HEY!!!! How come I get the job of manners and social skills..lol I would rather the job of F...as in MMF..... silly kisses sweetpetite41<<< off to google where Tapping is.....I have a dog and beach nearby..I also require a photographer ...butt pics.... tie me up pics....oohhh..what ever ones naughty imagination can supply.
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RHP User
16 years ago
gwaaddd...I def wouldn't have a steady hand with the boys....Be wondering hands!!! sweetpetite41.<<< checks for smoothness and size and thickness of the boys....just need a good idea for best pic angles ....Oopsy....lol
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