M63
Losing interest
February 07 2009
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think its pretty normal to go at it like rabbits at the start of a relaitonship and then as you get more familiar and comfortable with each other, for things to ease off a bit. It has certainly happened to me. I don't think it means there is something wrong or that your time is over. BUT I am not her and I am only speaking from my experience. WHat happened in my situation was we got married and had regular satisfying sex for a number of years until the relationship dissolved, but certainly not because of sex. Years later I read a horoscope that was written for me and according to it, that is the way I am in relationship. Some may laugh but find out what star sign she is. It could help you understand her sexual persona. Good luck with it. Wilds
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RHP User
17 years ago
Sounds like the honeymoon period over quickly........Um maybe try having a talk and asking questions on why?? Me personally i get bored rather quickly..... Rather the wild one to keep me interested. TIT
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RHP User
17 years ago
Now that the rabbit stage is over its time to move to the next level. This should get the tongues wagging. Mars
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RHP User
17 years ago
Maybe its time to spice things up a little. Maybe ask her, if theres anything she has always wanted to try. Sometimes couples dont talk to one another about their own desires or fantasies as they feel embarrassed or think their partners might not approve. Try changing your routine...sex can be enlightened just by a change of scenery or risk, otherwise it just gets too boring with the same old. By now you should feel comfortable to talk openly and honestly to your partner. It might be that after 12 mths she is after more of a commitment. Only you know where your relationship stands. Its not up to you all the time to make the advances..Think theres a few threads on this area. I understand that is nice for the women to take charge sometimes too. You havent told us much about her eg does she work, mum etc or maybe shes menopausal. I wouldnt say i lose interest but as in past relationships myself, having young kids, work etc...its easy to put sex aside, simply coz your too buggered. Ive learnt over time that the housework can wait ..it will still be there tomorrow ..lol. Put a lock on the bedroom door. Communication is always the best way..if you dont ask you'll never know. Leelee xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
Keep making the advances. At times you might feel like she's just doing it to keep you happy, but other times it will be you making the advances that is keeping HER happy. Accepting that she doesn't feel like it so easily makes her feel that you aren't putting in the effort to have her and you don't mind if you don't get sex from her. At least.. that's what my female friend told me... I personally have no idea! :)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Thanks guys, hey Tassie I have actually spoken to her about it and she says she doesnt know why and thats just the way she is??
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RHP User
17 years ago
theres a song that goes "gone is the romance that was so devine it's broken and cannot be mended you must go your way and I must go mine... now that... our love dream has ended.... what'le I do"...something you have said or done has impacted on how she see your relationship together If you really love her and want her beside you for ever... take you finger out and really tell her how much you love and need her... even if goes against your pride.. cheers astralwalker
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RHP User
17 years ago
Does she know about you on here? Do you cheat on her? Do you really want her? Do you want to commit to her? Do you love her? Its not all about sex. Mars
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RHP User
17 years ago
mate it one of 3 things. 1 she is sick of you. 2 she is really comfortable in the relationship and thinks that she has got you hooked. ( id hope for that one there is nothing better than being loved ) 3 she is really stressed out by work study or other things. or dare i say it for fear of being wrong. YOU are not doing your job emotionally. woman have sex in the beginning of a relationship much like men do. they want to screw! as the relationship proceeds women can change from wanting to screw for the sake of physical release to wanting sex to strengthen their relationship and for emotional closeness. buy her flowers. valentines day is coming be romantic. from a man.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Prolly just another flailing female libido. Just like yours, the female libido can be fickle like the wind, bebe. If you stop making advances... then your lover could think she is less attractive to you.... and that will make your problem worser.... in my opinion. Dig deep... spank that bottom and revive the naughtiness within! ..lol... idk. Good luck.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Has she started taking the pill? Or some kind of hormone based contraceptive, depo, implanon etc. I know for me, it turns me off sex and makes me dry whenever I'm on something like that.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I could go into the biology/chemistry of it all but I would bore myself. Either she is too comfortable, has feelings for someone else or she has just reached the end of her lust. You can accept that is how she is and play the twenty years married game or you can try to ignite the pilot lite again. Do things together that are exciting, challenging, adventurous. Create some drama. Get her blood moving. Go waterskiing. Chat to other women while she is around. Try some erotic massage or light bondage. Make it clear you value the physical part of the relationship and that is part of what keeps you together. Be prepared to leave. She will either find a reason to make you stay - or she won't. If she is worth the effort - act first or someone else will.
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RHP User
17 years ago
As a couple that have been together for 14 years, we can say sex is good most of the time. To keep things spiced up, we give each other a 'pass out' card every now again (a few times a year) to keep sexual interest in momentum, but also to avoid the need to stray from curiousity. It may be an option to consider..
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RHP User
17 years ago
I thought i'd heard of everything but thats a new one on me. You make that work?. Can only imagine what it is but if i'm right i'm surprised you can make it happen and work ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Are you just seeing her for the sex? Take her out man! Sweep her off her feet! Make her want you! If that's what you want.
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RHP User
17 years ago
dont panick its just the jelly beans for the first 12 months of a relationship.every time you have sex you put a jelly bean in a jar.after the first 12 months every time you have sex you eat a jelly bean out of the jar. you will never empty the jar
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RHP User
17 years ago
After 12 months together are you taking her for granted and feeling settled in the relationship???? If she is working, how about doing the housework for her, cook dinner clean the kitchen and help her out so that she can feel as though you care enough to care for her other needs as well as sex. Maybe give her a massage, take her out for dinner, do the stuff you used to do before the sex was on tap and all the time, put a bit of sparkle back in her day.... you could even be a little bit spontanious and pick her flowers from the garden or have some delivered to her at work for no reason at all, if she packs her lunch put a little love note in it or even her favorite chocolate. I know that these all seem to be slightly lame and even old fashioned but at least try to put her in the mood. if all that fails pack up and move to WA cheers
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RHP User
17 years ago
May not be the same for all but likely to ring a bell lol. The guys work and save for that big thing that will make it all special. Doesn't work... For the girls its all the little things. There are few multiple points for the size of the deed, its the number, the reminder, that counts... I don't take credit for the thought, is interpreted from "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".
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RHP User
17 years ago
This girl has got it in a nutshell. Its a proven fact that to most woman, all the things that Subshell mentioned are considered foreplay. I knoiw myself that when I feel appreciated....i really like to show my appreciation!!! (if you know what I mean!!) Try it!! If it doesnt work - take subshells advice and go west young man!!
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RHP User
17 years ago
After 23 years, I reckon I'm close or past emptying the jar, my wife must think so too as I am more likely to win lotto than get her interest. There is definitley a decline, I read yesterday Bettina Arndt has a new book out relating to the decline and its effects from a male perspective.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hmm ... losing interest ... I suggest shopping around for a better rate & less fees ... possibly a Credit Union ... Oh ... you mean its about a WOMAN ... my bad! I'd go with a few options ... don't be afraid to ask questions ... and try some different things, whether they are sex-related or not ... variety might help do the trick!?
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RHP User
17 years ago
If you want to have a relationship then start talking, figure it out and dont ever stop talking and figuring things out. Sex can be absolutely awesome between people who know each other well. If you dont want a relationship then end it nicely now.
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RHP User
17 years ago
For a chick....relationships are about sharing....and that includes the dishes, the washing, the cleaning etc. Helping out with these will give her more time and inclination to get busy with you...coz it won't be in the back of her mind..."shit..i gotta do the washing up". I find the best time to get a response is when all the chores are done and you are just kicking back. And don't forget the romance....most women love it! Good luck!
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RHP User
17 years ago
Could be that she is doing the dirty with someone else whilst your working
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RHP User
17 years ago
My partner looked over my shoulder as I was reading this ... and said "she cums nearly every time we have sex" ???? How do you know you satisfy her? Nearly everytime? What just once? And you, do you ever not cum? Have you ever considered this could be an issue? Maybe you would be better off talking to her, thinking about her and considering her a little more? Instead of assuming she doesn't want sex and only does it to please you. Good luck!
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