RHP

RHP User

F51

Lost My Mojo

January 19 2014

Bit of background. My husband and I have been swinging for about 2 years. Have had lots of fun. However in 4 out of the last 5 encounters the other guy has had performance issues. I shrugged it off the first couple of times, the guys were younger, I thought maybe as a sexy MILF they felt intimidated or just that they didn't know how to pace, but now after this last encounter that was supposed to be a successful MFM I am beginning to hold a lot of doubt, I feel like I'm still bringing chemistry into our encounters, I work out, used to be a model, I know how to hold a conversation, I am no starfish and love to give and receive pleasure. Before this 'glut' of floppiness I'd only ever had 1 instance of non-performance and he was drunk, and EVERY time this has happened I've been kind and supportive and worked hard to not display any disappointed. And for the record, my husband is amazing and always makes me feel like a woman after, and I have no real issues there about balance when there's another woman involved and my man performs and theirs doesn't. Life's too short for jealousy. I am now worried that I'm getting so used being disappointed that maybe I'm somehow projecting that, you know subconsciously. 1 time fair enough, 2 bad luck, then one good but short session (phew) but then the 3rd hurt badly and #4 is just WTF? It's hard not to feel like there's something wrong with me, this last session was supposed to 'fix' the damage done by the other 3, and now I am almost afraid to try again. We are taking a break for a while but please sexy people from RHPland, talk me off the ledge so that when we're ready for our cumback I'm armed with something to make me want to. I love sex, I love varying my sexual partners, we've had some amazing experiences, my ego is fine but Jesus Christ my libido is feeling bruised, battered and inadequate. Playing used to heighten my sexuality and make me feel very desirable, but these encounters are having the opposite effect and there's no real common thread with the guys such as too much booze, a particular age, or type to make it easy to change part of the equation.

Comments

  • wingman2014

    wingman2014

    12 years ago

    Is it always younger guys? If so maybe try a more seasoned player who doesn't drink . - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Why are you taking on the inadequacies of others, as being your own issue?! These men clearly find you open, available and attractive enough to want to play with.... but when they fail.... how is that your fault?! Say after me.... I AM AN AMAZING, AVAILABLE SEXUAL WOMENMEN EVERYWHERE ARE EAGER TO MY SEXUALITYITS UP TO ME WHO I DECIDE CAN SHARE IN IT I AM THE PRIZE THEY MUST EARN

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Well...... what can we add to that? Except to say I don't agree that men have to earn it at all and women are not prizes. We are all human with human foibles.... just a run of bad luck Token. It happens....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    "What Meeka said........"

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Self worth starts within self.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I didn't miss your point, I just don't like the way you expressed it. And quite frankly I totally disagree with it too. You give me the most beautiful woman in the world, a woman who knows that every man on the planet wants her and even she will start doubting herself after the third time.... Maybe if a woman is 100% arrogant and totally uncaring she won't think this way. I think there are numerous reasons for this. One is probably just the way women think and two we believe that it's easy for men to get hard ons and a hard on is a direct reflection on how attractive a man finds us. It's all we hear... Men are slutty, men think about sex every 30 seconds, men need it everyday, etc. So intellectually we can know that there are a whole hosts of reasons why a man can't get hard or perform.... There will always that doubt in our heads that it's me, even the most confident woman in the world will be he same. I think anyway.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I think your reaction is 100% normal for a woman... But it's not you!! You know all the different reasons why a man can't perform, particularly in group situations. So it's just a run of bad luck... You just happened to pick a few duds in a row. It happens! :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That's what that extra piece of laundry was ..... :p - Posted from rhpmobile

  • WhispersAndMoans

    WhispersAndMoans

    12 years ago

    You are not the only one to have a bad run and suffer a blow to the ego as a result. Despite all the intellectual arguments and knowledge that it is probably largely a result of the pressure the guys are under its a hard thing to just shrug off. Luckily we have had a good streak recently (good should probably be great). Experience with MFM on the males part was probably the key to the upswing. So we also doubt it is your fault. It is the fault of a very intense situation outside of what most of us are used to. The result is guys being outside their comfort zone and not able to perform like they expect to be able to. On top of that you have all the issues they might be experiencing on that day. Easy to say but... those who can deal with the pressure are out there, just need to either work through it with the individual or find the one who can deal with. Might be a good reason for paying attention to validations? Good luck, might be a case of get back in the saddle?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The pressure a guy puts on himself to perform can be a killer, I wouldn't take it personally .. shit happens. With a repeat performance, generally all involved are more comfortable with each other. I'm assuming these encounters are all with different guys?? Mr S

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    And if three butt ugly, repulsive and creepy people all offer us glowing compliments..... do we give those equal weight to those from people we prefer? Of course not. Comparing is not helpful and neither is wearing the issues of other people as our own. Rock solid self confidence should not be confused with arrogance .... in exactly the same way that other peoples failings should not be confused with being your own. If several people have failed to meet the expectations of miss Token.... that is not because she expects too much.... but because those people failed to deliver. Stay strong, miss Token. DG

  • QLDtwo4fun

    QLDtwo4fun

    12 years ago

    It can happen at any time to any guy, but a gentleman will explore, or continue along, other avenues of pleasure with you. A while ago, I had a period of floppiness when we went out, and I can assure you it was not the ladies that were the problem. I still don't know what the problem was, but the blue pills work wonders. Just hang in there, like selecting fruit, throw away the bad ones and grab another one till you get one you like.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It could be the antlers

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Could be you are so confident in yourself , your body and sexuality ' some guys might feel a lil intimidated and feel they are unable to live up to expectations ?... Not saying this is the problem, just trying to look at the possible reasons. A few years back , I had a profile in a sport I used to play and found some females were quite forward when it come to flirting and making out they were up for just about anything but in some cases ' the moment they realised it could be real , they come across as somewhat apprehensive.. One girl I meet was exactly like this.. She flirted like mad , made no bones what she wanted then got stage fright and the last moment.. Next time I seen her , she apologised and promised it wouldnt happen again but we just moved on... What Im saying is , often the idea of meeting and fucking someone is greater than the reality. All of a sudden you need to perform and live up to being what we imagine we are. Hence, performance anxiety and kaput...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That only happens when too much pressure is put in the result of what a meeting will involve. If you play down or defuse that pressure, and you expect ONLY to enjoy those same conversations that you had prior to meeting..... then the act of meeting becomes a logical step. It's all too easy escalate talk via email, and text.... but it seems most have trouble pulling things back to that point where the expectation and pressure is diminished and the person on the other end is still a person.... and not just a sexual act. DG - Posted from rhpmobile

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    Maybe there is something you have changed for one to become another. Can only imagine that getting use to play has lost the warming into things (nerves, mystery, adventure, vulnerability, shy perhaps) All that sort of stuff in the earlier days, may have changed to more (body language at least) (want, expect, comparison, over familiar, more robotic, bored, hurried) Don't take the choice of words used there as exact or offensive. Just an idea with nothing other than you said, don't know you. Mado Mado Tara xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Don't ever relate your mojo with their mojo! Mojo's run their own course and sometimes they match and sometimes they don't. You've just had a few mismatched ones in a row me thinks. Aunty Edna would say that your bingo numbers just didn't cum up.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Lol, very clever ;) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    To me it sounds more like a correlation vs causation thing, and that's always a slippery path. - Posted from rhpmobile