M47
Love and marriage.....goes together like a horse and butt bag haha....
August 11 2017
Comments
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Mawwiage is what bwings us togevver, today. I've been married once. We were together almost 20 years. It was, in many ways, completely the wrong thing for me, but I learned a lot about myself from it. I'm glad I'm not married to him any more, but it doesn't mean that I'm anti the concept. I think for the right people, with the right goals, marriage is wonderful, and it's totally something I'd consider doing again, when the right person asks me. My feeling about the whole marriage equality thing is that I want my sister to be able to marry the person she loves. I want my nieces to be able to be flower girls at the wedding of their mummies. I want my daughter to be able to marry who she chooses. If she chooses not to marry, that's fine. But she should have the right to make that choice, in the same way that her straight friends will. Love is love. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
When I was younger I wanted the white picket fence scenario but now I want a life that has more adventure and passion and unfortunately my wife does not think the same and for sometime. I am not against marriage but I feel in my case that I got confused between marrying for a lifestyle when I should have been marrying the person. I am probably not explaining myself that well. Now I feel that people should be able to stay together for as long as they want to, one of the biggest impediments to this is financial inequality which makes women more dependent although this is changing. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Not something I want to do again, don't see the point. I'd rather be with someone because I want to be, and him me, not tough it out because a piece of paper says we should stay together, along with all the old fashioned attitudes that are still associated with that piece of paper. Obviously my age and having been married, along with my newfound sexual freedom, influence my current opinion, but I was never comfortable with the institution of marriage. Has a kind of prison sound to it, and unfortunately is quite often like that. I would prefer with my future number 1, if I'm lucky enough to find him, to just be together, no formality required. Having said that, when love comes into play, the needs of the other person would be considered, not just mine. But I'd dig my heels in a bit I think over this one 😉
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I love that comment. That you married for a lifestyle. I think lots of people do when they are younger. It's the expected thing, the perceived next step.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Friend of mine has had two commitment ceremonies. Commit one day and walk out the next. No pesky divorce to worry about. Beats me why they want the whole marriage thing so much. 🤔
-
RHP User
8 years ago
...marriage is making a commitment before God and all of your true friends that you care for and are part of the mental, emotional and physical needs of your partner and intend to do so for life. If you can't do that of your own free will then don't get married. Sure things change and yes the divorce rate is high however for the 40% or so that do make it, they've done well and will live a long and happy life. Until then, I'll keep practising and hold all assets inside a very old and irrevocable family trust. Would I take a bullet to ensure the safety of my marriage partner? Been there done that and it was worth every second in ICU. Godspeed........ CM
-
RHP User
8 years ago
My take - Marriage should be an option everyone has regardless of sexual orientation. It's a commitment between two people showing the world how they feel. It will be the choice of some, not others but choice is what it's all about. I've done it twice, no regrets but will never do it again. BRING ON EQUALITY - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
The marriage ceremony for me is mainly the opportunity to express the love and commitment for each other in a most public way or to your close friend and family network. I would like to do that with a partner that felt the same, but it's not essential and there are other ways. In any case, as soon as the whole event is over, you are still back to the same position the next morning working out what to do with your day, and so therefor it probably doesn't have a major impact on your day to day life together, but can possibly have an effect of strengthening the bond? As for death and divorce, the only two ways out of it, people bring up the high divorce rate as though it means the marriages have "failed". Of course this comes from the formalised intention that this particular relationship is for life. With many other relationships, and marriage, I want them to last as long as they can, and while both people feel they are happier together than going separate ways despite any hurdles. However if I had the choice of a "successful" marriage when I am hit by a bus after 5 years, and a "failed" marriage when we part ways after 20 years, I will take the latter :) P.S. Was I the only one who's first thoughts when reading the topic title was that of Peggy and Al Bundy? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I'm not all that fussed on the concept of marriage in itself. Considering the historical reasons why marriage became a thing (which had absolutely nothing to do with love and all that gooey stuff), my eyes always roll when I hear people going on about how marriage is a sacred institution between a loving man and woman blah blah blah. Also, how the religious right try to pretend it's something special to them. The Catholic church co-opted marriage just as they did with many other things that were already in existence, because it was another great way to control the behaviour and $ of the masses. It's pretty unlikely that I'll ever get married myself. If by some chance I do, it would definitely be a civil ceremony with as few of the 'traditional' marriage ceremony elements as possible. Basically just a big party In practical terms, I realise marriage can bestow certain benefits through the legal recognition of the union, which can certainly be important when it comes to things like finances and decisions about health, children, property etc. Whatever my personal feelings about marriage however, it is my view that anybody who does want to get married to somebody that they love - regardless of the genders of parties involved - should be able to. Allowing same sex marriage literally does not affect heterosexual people in any way, the way some of them are in hysterics it's like they think that all of a sudden their own marriages will mean less or something. Absolutely ridiculous. Plus, we're only having this long, drawn out, ridiculous, costly debate because of our useless current government. If Labor were in power this would have been sorted ages ago. Our governments make decisions and take actions every single day - some that will have much greater impact on our lives than same sex marriage - and they mostly do it without plebiscites and asking every Australian what they think about it. They decide for us that we're going to war, that they're going to access all of our metadata, that they're going to give handouts to corrupt billionaires, that we're going to spend billions on creating a mega security department to prevent terrorism whilst simultaneously stripping $ away from health, education, DV support, and so many other community services. The whole thing is a fucking farce because at the moment this country is being controlled by right wing reactionaries who want to impose their own agendas on all Australians. The so-called champions of free speech - but only when the speech suits their purposes. I will stop there because I could literally go on all day venting my frustrations about the awful direction this country is being taken, all because of a few ignorant, power-hungry, born-to-rule mentality dinosaurs.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
"Sure things change and yes the divorce rate is high however for the 40% or so that do make it, they've done well and will live a long and happy life" I beg to differ on that. Of that apparent 40%, how many of those are actually happy, really happy, not just putting up with the person they're with, or as you say, because they made a commitment before God and all of your true friends that you care for and are part of the mental, emotional and physical needs of your partner and intend to do so for life. If you can't do that of your own free will then don't get married. "intend to do so for life". That intent and commitment to everyone else is the problem. Stuck in marriages, commited to making everyone else happy by sticking it out, what about a commitment to ourselves, in order to achieve real happiness? Life is too short to be keeping other people happy IMO I agree with countrytouch, very good point about defining a failed/successful marriage. I've never thought of it like that. So say you're married for 5 years, divorce, someone tells you they're sorry your marriage failed, you can say no it didn't fail, it was successful (amazeballs/whatever) for most of that. Those years otherwise seem voided. Great point of view 👍 Two people should only be sharing their lives if they want to be. Commitment ceremony? Pfft that won't keep you together, just a sign of your love at the time. I can't see the point in that either, still commiting in front of family and/or friends, many of whom then put the pressure on you to stay with that person, but it's not their business, it's not their happiness. I also thought long and hard about why these apparently well meaning people are so intent on telling people who are miserable that they should just crack on, that's your lot, you made your bed kind of thing, or this "but you love each other", by which stage you don't. It's because they're unhappy and think everyone should be Respect your opinion Midnight, I just don't share it 😃
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Shit sorry for the novel 😀
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon'It's pretty unlikely that I'll ever get married myself. If by some chance I do, it would definitely be a civil ceremony with as few of the 'traditional' marriage ceremony elements as possible. Basically just a big party. In practical terms, I realise marriage can bestow certain benefits through the legal recognition of the union, which can certainly be important when it comes to things like finances and decisions about health, children, property etc. Hope you don't mind the edit as I did read your post in full, of course. Marriage is a statement of commitment and should not be governed by any sanctimonious rules set out by the government or whom ever. Throw the lid off and make it just that...getting married is easy however the divorce that could ensue is a legal nightmare. Say ''I do'' then be able to say ''I don't'' then sue the crap out of each other if you're inclined not to recognize the equality of a partnership in life. LOL...I'll end it here as I am not trying to make a closing statement in court to a jury! Be well, gorgeous lady.... CM
-
RHP User
8 years ago
When the sun is setting and moon is rising..... Marriage.... what ever rocks your boat. Equality should be everyones boat. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Fuck your hot when you go off ! 😉😉😉😘
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I have been married for almost 20 years, together for 24, and no way would I do it again. I love my husband, but fuck me, it's hard work. I listen to people talking about marriage, how much hard work it is (and they are right), how we have to sacrifice ourselves, and on and on and on, and FUCK THAT! Why?? Why do we have to sacrifice ourselves? Why do we have to work endlessly for small moments of happiness? I'm not anti love, I LOVE love, I'm not anti relationships, or even marriage (for those who are naturally monogamous and are lucky enough to find someone who matches them beautifully and is also naturally monogamous, or those who are genuinely open) but for the rest of us - WHY?? Because it's what we have been told is 'normal' and right and just is... AND the ridiculousness of the marriage equality debate makes me want to implode. Another example of the terrified desperately trying to hold onto their power.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I think marriage is what you make of it. If you want to see it as a tradional ceromony with vows and symbolism then go nuts. If you want to just do it with minimal people in a initimate way or just rock to the registry just for the peice of paper and the extra protections it offers over de facto then that is your choice as well. For me I wasn't too fussed on getting married again but was important to mrs araps so we just had an intimate gathering with a few witnesses. I think the whole 'I'm married and in jail now' is just a mindset if let it be that. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Yes I'd do the same if it really mattered to a future partner but at my age, some serious digging in of heels would happen and a considerable amount of time, before I'd even consider it. I don't believe it will ever come to that, and if I'm completely honest, I just would resist resist resist, go down fighting lol 😀 Betty and Meander, equal rights for marriage, I don't comment much about it because it angers me so much, always has, all my life. I've never been able to understand gay phobia, which is where it stems from let's face it. Who are they to say what's right and wrong. See, angry, I just don't get it 👎
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Nice post, I felt every word xx
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I'm lucky enough to have a relationship where it just really isn't hard. We are on the same page with most things and while we do have the odd occasion where we disagree, generally speaking we compliment eachother and are accepting of the wants and needs of the other too. Best friends who can share anything together. Kids are where the challenges are for us and no doubt that will only get harder as they continue to grow, but marriage for us is good. I guess marriage formally recognizes "us" first and foremost, above all others. A symbol of family for us and our kids. You don't need to be married mind you as it really is only a piece of paper and a ring, and at the end of the day it doesn't change who you are or the relationship you have at all. And I might be wrong but I didn't think it gave you any financial or legal benefits than any other de facto relationship, even same sex... which makes you wonder if the government already recognizes same sex relationships for taxation or legal purposes, then why not allow same sex marriage?
-
RHP User
8 years ago
A lifetime supply of cheese or banging away the living jearzus with Spirit and Meander? Too easy for me as my friends and fiends do own a factory but just sayin'. Good bless the women that taste of Swiss when I kiss them!!
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Sailbadthesinner' Fuck your hot when you go off ! 😉😉😉😘 I know you love it when I talk dirty and let my lefty SJW fly
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Mister_Playful'And I might be wrong but I didn't think it gave you any financial or legal benefits than any other de facto relationship, even same sex... Probably the only real difference (that I'm aware of being no legal expert) is that there could be more uncertainty involved due to a court having to make the determination on whether they consider the relationship was de facto based on various considerations. I believe unmarried couples including same sex couples can register their relationship in whichever state they live in, and that pretty much provides certainty that the relationship would be considered de facto by the court.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
G'day Luck Dragon, Labor was in power up until September 2013, it wasn't sorted then. Gillard didn't support same-sex marriage, voted against a bill in 2012. K Rudd opposed it on religious grounds. Just saying.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
That's true, but it's now four years later. Had Labor stayed in power and continued to oppose SSM then they would be subject to the same sort of pressure that the Libs have been...the same sort of increasingly vocal campaigns from the public, and the same sort of news about the many other countries comparable to Australia that have been legalising it (even Ireland has FFS). I have a lot of complaints about Labor as well these days, they can't really call themselves a progressive party at the moment. However, I do believe that on this issue they would have been more reasonable than the Libs and realised that given the majority support from the Australian public for SSM, the huge national and international push for it which isn't going away any time soon, and the fact that ongoing non-support would very likely cost them quite a few votes, that continuing to delay would just be putting off the inevitable and they would have legalised it by now. Even if a few Labor members might not support it on religious grounds, they don't have an extreme religious right faction which is basically controlling the party like the Libs do. Even if Labor had stayed in power and Gillard stayed as PM, I think she would have put aside her personal views on the matter and done what she knew was best for the party in a political sense. She was much more capable of doing that than our current PM.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
but last time I looked horses and carriages are almost obselete. That said I have been married, mostly happily for over 40 years. And yes , she knows I'm on this site.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
G'day again Luck, I'm going to make a prediction here - if my prediction is wrong I owe myself a beer, if it's right however I still owe myself a beer - I predict that the postal vote will go the way we know it will, Turnbull (long in support of SSM) will use this to bludgeon the naysayers in the coalition into submission. The opinion polls haven't been great for the coalition for yonks so they have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I don't know if it will be by Christmas as they say, but I'm fairly sure this will be resolved within the next year. And then, Labor will have been in the embarrassing position of a Big Ticket Progressive Reform having been enacted by a conservative party. Whoops. Further prediction (crystal ball really getting hazy here) - some Labor voters will crack the shits because of the embarrassment and drift to the Greens, Liberal voters who opposed will crack the shits and head to One Nation.
-
EarthQueen
8 years ago
Same sex marriage FFS just make it legal. It's a basic human right. Postal vote = ridiculous. Marriage you can grow together or grow apart. At its best it's a partnership that lifts each other up and allows both parties to be individuals that are committed to each other. But people change and sometimes that becomes a deal breaker and it shouldn't be seen as a failure. At its worse, just listen to the Linkin Park song Numb. That says if all for me. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Agree totally on pending obsolescence... but i think you're somewhere between three to six generations ahead of your time. It will happen though in my opinion.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Agree entirely.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Excellent point re the government recognising for the purpose of taxes, they don't miss out there. That can also be seen with products/services/houses/financials we repeatedly pay tax on, over and over, we might finish up paying tax on something half a dozen times. Ebay is a perfect example, sellers now pay gst on fees, fine for new items but second, third, fourth hand items that have already been taxed over and over. Yes I know it's the service, not the goods, but translates to the same. Okay, that's my rant lol
-
RHP User
8 years ago
went off topic, I agree if they're taxing said relationships, then recognise them ffs Also wanted to say, well said Earthqueen, yes it's just so wrong
-
RHP User
8 years ago
And have been for 25 years in September this year and we've been together for 28 years. It wasn't a union that was meant to work lol (according to our families and everyone else) ... me the straight laced (yes I'm hearing you all rolling on the floor laughing) teacher with her younger, hot tradie. He was (and is) the quintessential larrikin, drives me fucking insane with his ridiculous ideas (of which I agree to all lol) is dogmatic in his approach to things BUT all this is tempered with being the most incredible human being on this planet!!! I have never been 'owned by him', his openness to everything has enabled me to develop into the woman I am today - there aren't enough words or actions to thank him. It is through his love be and support that I am where I am today. He is my cheerleader, my advocate, my critical friend, the person who says 'you're talking shit' but isn't abusive or derogatory. He loves me so incredibly and I'm the most difficult person to be with ( think ADHD, OCD and Greek heritage, need I say more lol). He suggested swinging, he suggested a more ongoing situation than FB or FWBs, his foresight is amazing. His capacity to see me and what I need is incredibly selfless. Marriage (the white wedding) was important to him, not me. For him alone, I was prepared to go through that, and what an amazing choice that was. Would I do it again ... no!!!! I committed my heart to him the day I said 'I love you too' 28 years ago and that commitment isn't bound by a marriage certificate or anything else :) I've learnt that love and commitment is achieved in a number of ways, marriage is just one of them. I'm in a committed relationship with my husband and my boyfriend ... marriage or lack thereof isn't significant to that commitment :) Mary xx Disclaimer: please understand that I'm not gloating but putting forward a point of view. I'm sorry if your experiences haven't been positive or what you were expecting :(
-
RHP User
8 years ago
In marriage, until I started seeing it more like a financial contract, but then de facto is pretty much the same without the formality or a pre-nup. I think society has taken marriage too far with all the stress and high expectations! Everyone is high on emotions so definitely may pick up the economy. I would rather have a small inexpensive commitment celebration at a house than a formal wedding that charges exorbitant amounts. Gosh imagine the future... marrying a robot... almost as bad as that woman marrying the Eiffel Tower 😳
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15100 Comments: 88197
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1416 Comments: 10247
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11712
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2503 Comments: 9778
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 998 Comments: 5085
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1302 Comments: 5765
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 780 Comments: 1985
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share