M66
MEN. Are they in crisis ?
July 16 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
EVOLUTION.A person can whinge....... or they can learn.DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
or a vehicle for which they can express themselves. They just don't have one? Nor is it really their "fault". I saw a fantastic candid interview on, The Observer Effect, Sunday night. Elle Fanning spoke to actor, writer and director, Brendan Cowell, about what it means to be a man in Australia right now. I thought his was the best 'take' I have heard since, Steven Biddulph, on where men are really at and are finding themselves emotionally and socially at the moment. All I can say is, "Boy, it's been a long time between drinks!" I am not going to add my own personal comment on this particular thread. As we could all talk about it until the cows come home? Except to say that all men need other male role models and other men to lead them in an honest, real and organic way! Women alone cannot do it. We can grieve for them and wish and hope and attend to half the job of raising our sons to be good men. But there are some things that just aren't a woman's place to do anything about?(Whoops, I think I just added my own personal comment?)The Observer Effect, Sunday July 14th, interview with Brendan Cowell, can be downloaded on SBS.com on demand.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Men have a shit load of crap going on, and now the boot is on the womans foot , well we use it.funny thing is there are women looking for MR right and he is in front of us, but were a picky bunchhe has to have a good , job a car be able to communicate, be good looking, good in bed yada yada yada have a bank account able to take care of a woman.Try going out and meeting a woman, the first thing a woman will say is, what is it you do?The poor mine guys are afraid to get into relationships due to the fact they think they will be taken to the cleaners, and many are.Men are also to blame, to lazy to actually develop a relationship, wanting sex on tap and porn sex.get pissed off when the wife is not in the mood and there ya go, over here instant women like me who just want sex.to easy To many choices and in the end you end up with nothing.So of to asia or other parts of the world where the women are so desperate to survive not only for them but for their whole family. Along comes a guy from a developed nation to help them and its a godsend for some women. For men trapped in that being so lonely thing, who can blame them , I know if usa guys were in dire straights i would have bought me one of those a long time ago.DG your educated, articulate, confident and your not as ugly as a hat full of arse holes so you are doing okA hell of a lot of men are , reserved , hurt, pissed of and burnt by women.They are not six pack alpha gods, are not good in bed and for a range of reasons down to having a disability, a mental health problem or being on a pension, they cannot attract an australian woman.I see my girlfriends all looking for that special man to take care of them and to have a relationship with, but they cant as there are to many temptations and a lot on here. Hot young six pack guys that give you all the pleasure and attention you can want, the women work, have their own homes and don't want to compromise.Ladies you cannot have it all.and menI feel for ya. thank god I have a pussy and big hooters and a great husbandMind you I was a not so good to my husband the first time we were married, I look back and think wtf was I thinking.but then I wasWorking full time, raising children with a fifo husband who was either at work or out fishing with his mates.so its not all beer and skittles. I needed more and divorced thinking there was more out there. nope same old grass, now I said right out, I want it all, lovers that I need when I want, took a while to get up the courage to say what I wanted, and took a great man to say ok. men need to make more of an effort to be realistic and so do women. the land of Compromise is the place where you can find that happy spot in life.Men must get so lonely its easy for us women we can get sex and comfort any time we like, men have to mostly pay for it, one way or another. I hope there is a way forward for men as their are a lot of men out there living a lonely life. We are not the enemy, try talking to us
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yeah sure I get it men get (from their perspective) taken to the cleaners etc etc. But what are you going to do .... Be down on yourself and unhappy for the rest of your life. I haven't met a woman yet who is attracted to someone who is direly unhappy with their life and themselves. Moral to the story is at the end of the day YOU and you alone are responsible for your own happiness. No one is going to hand it to you on a silver platter. People leave long term relationships and then 2 seconds later rebound into another relationship without spending time on their own, building their self esteem and reminding themselves what makes them happy wether it be playing sport, knitting or whatever. Then once you are happy in you, the other peices of the puzzle will fall into place. Life is too short to not be happy in yourself - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
society is being 'formatted' against men.It is called SOCIAL ENGINEERINGfeminists might disagree with this, but pretty much the entire PLANET is geared to make women more comfortable. wars are fought over oil. oil products are used to make womens cosmetics, nice clothing, nylons stockings, etc.Women might bitch about the motorcycle or monster truck, but hey, YOU HAVE THE REST OF THE PLANET.Leave my corner alone.Helen of Troy, 'the face that launched a thousand ships'.not a legend or myth, pretty much fact.As far as the current state of affairs (equality), it is pretty much political correctness gone insane.many women accept the 'role' they are to play in life, being a mother, taking care of the home, etc, and the man works to support the home.The SYSTEM has horribly corrupted this by making life too expensive for just one person to work to make a living, forcing the women in to the main stream workforce, then ramping it up by forcing a wedge between the sexes with 'womens rights' yada yada yada.Here is a novel idea:how about EQUAL rights for everyone?nature has made it obvious that men are suited for the life of toil and labor (why we have a shorter lifespan).Women are built for procreation, without women, the human race would be extinct.I know, feminists are pulling their hair out on that last one, sorry, man haters.NOTI spent a career in the military, fighting the 'equal rights' agenda.Bottom line:a woman cannot hump a machine gun through the woods like a man can and I wouldnt expect her to, but she is offered the same pay as the guy humping the machine gun, and CODDLED if she gets sore feet.nut up.wait, that doesnt apply.Women SHOULD NOT be in combat roles. it might be socially acceptable for a man to come home with half of his face gone, but if that happened to a woman, she would be locked in her house because no one would want to see her.God forbid if a woman gets captured and is a POW, other countries are not as civilized as us, and she would be raped and brutalized every day.There WERE women POWs in Vietnam.All of them died in prison or offed themselves because of the brutality they suffered.As far as the 'suicide solution', an average of 22 U.S. army vets commit suicide every month in the U.S. , partially from combat stress, but much of it deals with coming home to a world where you can no longer fit in to, and find out your wife/girlfriend was banging the neighbor while you were gone in some far off land getting shot at.I could write volumes on this, but will just leave it be.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
It doesn't matter whether I meet a man for long term relationship or short term companionship, I would like to meet someone who is RESPECTFUL, educated, financially comfortable and secure, and is motivated. He doesn't have to be rich to float my boat, but he must be striving if he was not happy with his current lifestyle or circumstances. There's nothing worse that listening to a man complaining about his finance, can't do this or that, but never takes action to resolve the situation! I mentioned the word "educated" because it really annoys me when I talk to a man, whom would use the "F" word as soon as he speaks! I actually do feel embarrassed when I talk to a man who doesn't have social manners! As for the "respectful" matter, it is a big turn off for me if a man is not respectful! E.g. Recently, I was chatting to a man on RHP and the chat went well until he called me a "player" out of the blue!!! Seriously, till now I still don't understand why the guy had suddenly called me name when I: 1) Haven't even met him in real life, only chatted on here via email, so he literally doesn't know me! 2) Didn't do or say anything rude to insult him. 3) Was only asking the guy a couple of questions about the last Sydney Meet & Greet Drinks night out, and mentioned the username of one of the Drinks organisers. He thought I had a crush on one of the organisers and bluntly said to me "you go playa"! I was shocked let me tell you! So OP, I don't know if there's a way forward for men when some of them can't even hold some basic manners and respect for others, especially for women!!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' EVOLUTION.A person can whinge....... or they can learn.DG But who is going to do the teaching ?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'EVOLUTION. A person can whinge....... or they can learn. DG Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'EVOLUTION. A person can whinge....... or they can learn. DGYou're now becoming seriously offensive. We've responded to posts of yours in the past with tongue in cheek and rolled eyes, simply because we've found it amusing how egotistical and condescending, not to mention repetitive, you've managed to be. But essentially harmless nonetheless. But to respond in that manner to a post / question that involves the topics of male suicide, divorce rates and family court issues is simply disgusting (this isn't a discussion of seduction techniques here DG). Do you seriously think that the solution to serious mental health issues is "stop whining and evolve"? Or that men are just a bit precious when it comes to family court issues and their children? And that little smiley with the sunglasses is just so appropriate here isn't it? Just something to have a joke about? We both have personal experience with family, friends and clients we work with of serious depression and suicide, and will never stay quiet in the face of ignorance around these issues. You may find our response to your post an over reaction, but it is exactly your attitude to the OP's query that leaves people with mental health issues (ESPECIALLY MEN) suffering in silence. As for evolving, may we suggest you do some yourself? We're not sure who writes your posts - you or the dinosaur next to you. Enough said.
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RHP User
12 years ago
EXACTLY...I totally agree 100% - word for word!!! :) FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sweetgem' So OP, I don't know if there's a way forward for men when some of them can't even hold some basic manners and respect for others, especially for women!!!- Posted from rhpmobile SG, My way forward is perfectly clear actually ..... Manners and respect in tact Both sexes have their moments good and bad.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Every avenue has female input and the sad part is men put them there so you could say we are pussy whipped. However on the up side the world will change soon oil will run out and there will be big changes as we go back in time as the economy collapses. Pensions will be gone/dole/even your super will vanish. To explain this would take ages but here is an example Many believe solar is the answer and electric cars but when the oil goes greed will take over that. Did you look at the paper yesterday people put solar panels to help the environment and lower the bills So the power companies want to raise the fixed charge and it will slowly go up. Its not money I have that. Its not looks I have 2 out of 3 Its not the car I have 5 and 1 motor bike. Trying talking and try to understand women It is the attitude as I can be a woman and get that much support from so many depts. Believe me give it time women will need men yet again in fact even more than before,
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RHP User
12 years ago
I see and hear this too often - it breaks my heart that there's not enough community support out there for males. Especially after breakups, divorce and being single sole parents...It must be difficult for some men out there..unsure if its pride or what?? but guys there is support out there if you look around. There is help lines etc etc out there especially designed for men - sometimes just having someone to listen helps..You guys have just as much rights as women out there. FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
I didn't read the comments yet because I don't want to be influenced.After my husbands sudden death I was grieving for my little boy too. He had only had his father for 9 years, not enough to find out what a real man is.It is not easy for a woman to teach a boy how to be a man and I would have been at a loss anyway, why, because I am a female.But lucky for me and him he found a man, I think both adopted each other.You all can believe me I was jealous as hell. The good think between my boys and me was always we talked a lot.My son the 9 year old showed me how important this man became to him.This man had two daughters and went through a divorce, which showed me what women can do to hurt a man and it showed me too not all men are bastards and also how one side the courts can be. He fought to get 50/50 custody of his two girls but thats a different story.My son never came home when the man had his daughters, I felt so left out and cried more then not. But after a while I could see the good and I let him be. Story short, today after 14 years, this man is more my sons father then his real one. today my son has an understanding about man, today I have gained a great friend in this male and I am happy I let it happen. I believe without this man in our life, my son would have been never the man he is today, and sadly to say many women forget how important it is for boys to have a male in there life. BUT, BUt also my son gained two Sisters and can easerly be around females and " stand up " against them because he can communincate. big time.We all need role models and men have to see and start this process to teach the boys and the girls what a men stands for.But also fight for 50/50 custody because otherwise they lose the touch with the children.I know this is hard because the business world is not up to scratch with men looking after the children. again only the men can change it, and want it.Women fought for centuries to get a better deal in a relationship. We have been the once who where left behind with many children, now it turned the other way, and it is sad to see. We still have not made it equal and right for both.Again it is up to the men to change and want it.Its not easy to look after the children 50/50 but there are men who do it and men who are successful in fighting the system.I hope the future generation is getting it right.Litonya
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'yankmychain56' society is being 'formatted' against men.It is called SOCIAL ENGINEERINGfeminists might disagree with this, but pretty much the entire PLANET is geared to make women more comfortable. wars are fought over oil. oil products are used to make womens cosmetics, nice clothing, nylons stockings, etc.Women might bitch about the motorcycle or monster truck, but hey, YOU HAVE THE REST OF THE PLANET.Leave my corner alone.Wars are fought to make powerful men more powerful. Oil is sought to make wealthy men wealthier. Don't kid yourself that it has anything to do with women Yankmychain.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Where are you getting your facts from? Mainly the suicides and the increase in Asian arranged marriages? I just looked at the abs stats and they indicate that suicides are decreasing, although male suicides are higher in males than females. Something I think has always been the case. I always thought it had a lot to do with the male sexuality and the double standards around bisexuality and homosexuality.http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/[email protected]/Lookup/by+Subject/4125.0~Jan+2012~Main+Features~Suicides~3240Possibly a man sees his identity as the bread winner, the strong one, all the traditional male roles. Now that it isn't so important in Western cultures maybe men don't understand their role anymore?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Old school relationships? So a man has to have a submissive woman to feel like a man? Is this really the stereotype we want to continue?
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RHP User
12 years ago
That's patriarchy fucking with us. Guess we're getting what our forefathers deserved.The pressure to be "real men" results in all sorts of disfunction, with the most extreme symptom the high suicide rates.When we all learn that the macho yang needs to be balanced by the feminine yin, men (and the rest of the planet) will be far better off.Mr C
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well we now have the world's best collection of male self-pity. And some women whom I admire enormously are endorsing this whining, mewling, sulky refrain. Let's be clear. It infuriates me, as a sensitive, thoughtful and self-critical man, that a lot of people say that men are homogenous, unreflective, incapable of affection, and unable to read a profile. It irks me that the asymmetry in numbers means it is much harder for me to hook up than a woman on this site. I am sick to death of the idea that blokes are just dicks on legs. Especially when many women on this site are flat out putting a phrase together, let alone a profile. . But having said that, by far the most intelligent and thoughtful posts are by women. And the reality is that men are tremendously advantaged in Australia. Compare wages. Compare levels of authority in businesses. Compare relative numbers of politicians, senior bureaucrats and judges ( changing a bit, and a fucking good thing too). Compare stats for domestic violence, AVOs and the like. (And yes, some of them are bullshit, but that does not disprove the overall profile.) Women are still being told they deserve to be raped if they go out at night in revealing clothing. No one ever says a man deserved a flogging cos he wore silver tail football colours in a lumpen suburb. There are women's shelters. No one has suggested that there should be men's shelters, and there is a reason for that. I am 62. I have worked on cattle properties, a tramp steamer, factories, offices, private and public enterprise, universities, hamburger joints, one newspaper, a flash cafe and building roads and bridges in the bush. Some places had more women, some more men. Some had female bosses, some had men. Some had a relatively overt ideology of sexual equality, some did not. Some employed quite a lot of gay ( shock! Horror! End of the world!) women or men. In not one, not one, not goddam one was it a disadvantage to have a scrotum. Not one. It was nearly always a clear advantage. Even after we started saying 'chairperson' and 'dear sir or madam' ( more shock and horror). I have no idea how many women can hold a machine gun. I do know that not all men can. I do know that if a woman assesses the risk of being in the army and professional senior armed service personnel back her assessment, that is ok by me. . I do know that women in the bush ( my mum, for example) can fire guns, muster sheep and cattle, drive trucks and tractors, and buy and sell livestock just as well as men. Better, a lot of the time. Yes, the family court is, I understand, often a sad place. But if you want to say it is prejudiced against men, you need hard facts, not just anecdotes. My anecdotes are of a lot of women who felt bruised by it all. But does anyone really want to go back to fault-based divorce, with one party being demonized and spiv private dicks spying on couples having (or pretending to have, for evidentiary reasons) a dirty weekend? Nor do I buy the line that men are sad little islands who cannot communicate. Are you really saying that Hillary Clinton - brilliant though she be- is a better communicator than Bill? Men historically communicated and related well enough to dominate trade unions, parliaments, professional and business associations, newspapers, schools and universities. It is, I suspect, that women do communicate better, and that they are better at detail, (good reasons to choose a rental property manager, lawyer, or parliamentary rep with ovaries) but men are very good at it. A lot of this uncommunicative island, stuff, I suspect, comes from the John wayne image of the strong silent guy. This is fed by self pity, and is a good jerker of sympathy. So. the brothers are still doin it for themselves, and not traveling too bad. *looks around to see if anyone is listening, sees no one, shrugs and goes home*
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yankmychain -I'm hoping the PC gone mad femi-Nazis will explain how wrong you are - I would hate for the forums to be inconsistent with your world view. Just a quick one though:nature has made it obvious that men are suited for the life of toil and labor (why we have a shorter lifespan). Thankfully some of us also benefitted from the evolution in brain power, because I've got better things to do than toil and labour all my life.Men's life expectancy is lower on average because young men do stupid things (usually to prove they are real men and can drive fast cars and carry big guns). Those of us that survive past 30 actually then have much the same life expectancy as women.Mr C
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RHP User
12 years ago
This question is deep & I can't be bothered answering it right now...So OP are you thinking of going to Asia to find someone so it's easier?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I spent the last 12 years of my life fighting in family court. I can confirm that it's not always the men who are at the mercy of the system.If you want to be a victim, be one. But otherwise life is what you make it and bad shit happens. It doesn't happen to you based on what's between your legs.
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
I usually look & wonder, however life says I should say something. To Araps. perhaps when you are in your Fifties, single & trying to date, your comments may change. To Sweetgem perhaps we should swap stories, or is it that as a male its ok that i'm asked to fuck on the first meet. And when I say NO, my manhood is questioned. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Yeah, I mean strewth you have hit the nail on the head here, that's a bloody good question to ask. With everything you have said and all, now that is something to talk about, and I am glad we did, some things should not be left untouched. Bloody women don't know what they want, but this will put them in there place. Someone has gotta do it, yep it has been a ripper of a chat, I reckon that has cleared things up, Better get back to it.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sweetgem' 3) Was only asking the guy a couple of questions about the last Sydney Meet & Greet Drinks night out, and mentioned the username of one of the Drinks organisers. He thought I had a crush on one of the organisers and bluntly said to me "you go playa"! I was shocked let me tell you! I have a crush on both of them and I'm no playa ... (or am I???)Meh, men don't have it so bad. You can still pee standing up yeah?
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RHP User
12 years ago
The world changes for all of us. Just do a Darwin ... ADAPT and EVOLVE.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The ''ADAPT and EVOLVE'' is already happening...Back to the original comment, the formula as I see goes like this:1. ''the men seem to be at the mercy of the family court system'' - as you mentioned2. ''divorce is at incredible levels'' - as you have mentioned (what would you acpect)3. ''Increasingly men go to Asia for 'old school' relationships and partners - as you mentioned4. ''male suicide is an epidemic'' (+ many men taken to the cleaners) - as you mentioned5. BIRTH RATE IS SUPER LOW (I THINK YOU FORGOT THIS ONE BIT FROM THE FORMULA??)And who would want kids anyway? Who want to be in a relationship anyway, who want to be taken to the family court and the cleaners hahahahI actually feel sorry for the woman, the system backfired on them, we man can have sex with anybody we want any time we want (247) in any sex position we want, not to mention point 3 above, oh actually this would be the only thing you need to know and the good news is you DO know it you posted it - JUST DO IT LOL
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RHP User
12 years ago
...and 'old school relationships'? By the tone of these remarks I'm reading that there are men out there who want to go back to the good ole days where women were seen and not heard, oh and put into 'lunatic asylums' for having an opinion... And the comment about war over oil for womens cosmetics, are you kidding me? So now that women have come a long way in equal rights it's our fault that men can't cope with it... A lot of women who pioneered 'the career woman' stereotype were forced into their position when left fending for themselves and their kids because a man walked out, usually into the arms of a 'younger model'. Now we too can forge a career, leave for a younger model etc, etc etc, it's not on?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting chickcara: "When we all learn that the macho yang needs to be balanced by the feminine yin, men (and the rest of the planet) will be far better off." I agree. We evlove and we adapt, we balance ourselves, or like the dinasaurs, we get hit by huge flaming fireballs of moten lava. Someone once said to me (on this very topic) that they thought "men today were in peril of the modern woman sucking the true essence of what it was 'to be male' out of them". Needless to say I asked him if he knew of any such women... and could I please have their phone numbers. Obi1
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mr.King....that was awesome.... Is there a way forward for man?.....I think that DG answered this question....it was succinct and to the point..... hardly worthy of attack in my opinion......,and no he is not a particular friend of mine. The world is changing,very quickly but when has there never been change....we all have to adapt or live in a hermitage. Most people when they hit middleage have at least one horrible thing happen to them...death of a loved one,divorce,loss of a job,serious illness,family dysfunction...who lives a charmed life,..certainly nobody that I know. It is how we cope with the events in our lives that makes the difference...yes we can blame others for our unhappiness,depression etc but as has been said,there is help,we can change our view,we do not have to be victims of circumstance.. Many years ago I met an amazing old man, a Tibetan Lama.He was in his eighties and had been in a Chinese prison for twenty years.....he said quite sincerely, that the experience had been beneficial because his cell was just like a cave and he was able to meditate and do all his practices....he neglected to say that he was also beaten on a regular basis,but he had turned an awful situation into one which had a benefit to him. What is happiness,happiness is what we make it,it only ever is about us,nobody else can make us happy,they can only enhance it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I can only speak for myself and how the forum post relates to me. I have been married , divorced , spent time in the Family Law Courts bought and sold split the earning , become a dad, kicked the footy with my son , walked on the beach at dawn with my daughter , held my new born in my arms, thrown the ball for my dog and watched his thrill at chasing a simple tennis ball , chased the cat with a mop, lost loved ones through terrible diseases , lost friends through tragedy… its life We find ourselves in all sorts of situations and I know I am a survivor , and a fighter I will always get back up when knocked down I felt I would never quit.. and to be honest there were times when it was a helping hand that got me back up. Help your family , help your friends life is life and in my opinion you only get 1 you were born either a man or a woman so dig in give it a shot and enjoy and where you can help others around you , you just never know how that person may brighten your life. My Ten Cents
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Smilingwithfun' I usually look & wonder, however life says I should say something. To Araps. perhaps when you are in your Fifties, single & trying to date, your comments may change. To Sweetgem perhaps we should swap stories, or is it that as a male its ok that i'm asked to fuck on the first meet. And when I say NO, my manhood is questioned. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. SWFI fail to see your logic as you still need to take ownership of your happiness irrespective of age There are plenty of people on RHP and in RL in their 50's who are finding new relationships or trying new things. If someone is bitter and twisted after the end of a relationship (and I am in no way saying you are) then that is going be your impression to friends, family and potential new partners. The term baggage is used for a reason and not attractive.Cheers,W.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' EVOLUTION.A person can whinge....... or they can learn.DG Yes, but it isn't a very helpful response. Some people do need help and assistance. Although I don't believe suicide rates has anything to do with women becoming empowered. Evolution or really what you are saying, survival of the fittest
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' EVOLUTION.A person can whinge....... or they can learn.DG Yes, but it isn't a very helpful response. Some people do need help and assistance. Although I don't believe suicide rates has anything to do with women becoming empowered. Evolution or really what you are saying, survival of the fittest
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'foranewbeginning' The ''ADAPT and EVOLVE'' is already happening...Back to the original comment, the formula as I see goes like this:1. ''the men seem to be at the mercy of the family court system'' - as you mentioned2. ''divorce is at incredible levels'' - as you have mentioned (what would you acpect)3. ''Increasingly men go to Asia for 'old school' relationships and partners - as you mentioned4. ''male suicide is an epidemic'' (+ many men taken to the cleaners) - as you mentioned5. BIRTH RATE IS SUPER LOW (I THINK YOU FORGOT THIS ONE BIT FROM THE FORMULA??)And who would want kids anyway? Who want to be in a relationship anyway, who want to be taken to the family court and the cleaners hahahahI actually feel sorry for the woman, the system backfired on them, we man can have sex with anybody we want any time we want (247) in any sex position we want, not to mention point 3 above, oh actually this would be the only thing you need to know and the good news is you DO know it you posted it - JUST DO IT LOL Sweetheart, I think you got this completely wrong. It's the women that can have sex 24/7 in any sex position they want. When did we become the enemy? Always got to keep us down hey?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes it is up to the individual, they are responsible for the way they view life. But you know, sometimes mental health is outside your control. I have some very close friends that suffer depression, they are brilliant people that are good looking smart and intelligent and seem to have the ideal life.... yet, well you know. Sometimes people do need a bit of extra help. 50zCool, I don't know if men are feeling confused in this brave new world... but seems to me you are kind of blaming women for this? I don't know if I agree that men are not coping with women entering traditional male roles, although obviously my view is limited to my friends and people I know. Clearly not everyone is university educated, well off city dwellers.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Splicey' I spent the last 12 years of my life fighting in family court. I can confirm that it's not always the men who are at the mercy of the system.If you want to be a victim, be one. But otherwise life is what you make it and bad shit happens. It doesn't happen to you based on what's between your legs. Poms poms are out in support of this comment!'The System' will and has always been used and abused by those who choose to use and abuse. Lucky for us that karma is ... exactly what it will be.
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RHP User
12 years ago
but the fact is, we don't even need men to make babies anymore... The Family Courts? I think they're tougher on the children than anyone, but that's from my experience and following current and past RL stories of others, who have themselves, or have had friends or relations pass through the system.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Yes it is up to the individual, they are responsible for the way they view life. But you know, sometimes mental health is outside your control. I have some very close friends that suffer depression, they are brilliant people that are good looking smart and intelligent and seem to have the ideal life.... yet, well you know. Sometimes people do need a bit of extra help. 50zCool, I don't know if men are feeling confused in this brave new world... but seems to me you are kind of blaming women for this? I don't know if I agree that men are not coping with women entering traditional male roles, although obviously my view is limited to my friends and people I know. Clearly not everyone is university educated, well off city dwellers. Yes Meeks and I completely agree from my own experiences with someone close that mental health issues don't always make that possible and can wear you down over long periods of time. For everyone needs some support sometimes.Cheers,W
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RHP User
12 years ago
The greatest evolutionary advantage that makes humans so successful... is our capacity to share knowledge via language... to educate.... inform... and learn.These forums can be a great source of information. How many topics do women contribute in, thereby giving men FREE access to the inner sanctum of WomanWorld.And how many times do guys seem to ignore it?!So as has been said several times..... we can learn.... or we can whinge.Its a choice. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
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RHP User
12 years ago
Chin up boys dont be fooled by shades of grey- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' EVOLUTION.A person can whinge....... or they can learn.DG Yes, but it isn't a very helpful response. Some people do need help and assistance. Although I don't believe suicide rates has anything to do with women becoming empowered. Evolution or really what you are saying, survival of the fittest You can "get on board" or be left behind. It's as simple as that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'TongueCramps' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'EVOLUTION. A person can whinge....... or they can learn. DG Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'EVOLUTION. A person can whinge....... or they can learn. DGYou're now becoming seriously offensive. We've responded to posts of yours in the past with tongue in cheek and rolled eyes, simply because we've found it amusing how egotistical and condescending, not to mention repetitive, you've managed to be. But essentially harmless nonetheless. But to respond in that manner to a post / question that involves the topics of male suicide, divorce rates and family court issues is simply disgusting (this isn't a discussion of seduction techniques here DG). Do you seriously think that the solution to serious mental health issues is "stop whining and evolve"? Or that men are just a bit precious when it comes to family court issues and their children? And that little smiley with the sunglasses is just so appropriate here isn't it? Just something to have a joke about? We both have personal experience with family, friends and clients we work with of serious depression and suicide, and will never stay quiet in the face of ignorance around these issues. You may find our response to your post an over reaction, but it is exactly your attitude to the OP's query that leaves people with mental health issues (ESPECIALLY MEN) suffering in silence. As for evolving, may we suggest you do some yourself? We're not sure who writes your posts - you or the dinosaur next to you. Enough said.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Anecdotal evidence show that women are the dominant partner in the relationship. They get their way more often than not. I have no idea if this is due to women being more confident in themselves or being more educated or a combination of many factors. Some men can cope with this through other avenues - sports, religion, children, work, etc. Some men can't and that cause problems. No simple answer here. They just need to figure out what is really important rather than than what they feel like right now.
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RHP User
12 years ago
If men actually used the balls they were given, there wouldn't be any problems, i have full custody of my son, represented myself in court against a experienced cockhead solicitor and won. Took 1 year and all my money and energy but at least i can raise my boy properly, and teach him to use his balls and determination to win any battle that comes his way.. men need to stop being pussys.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
Ok..... It's true that in the past there have always been clearly defined roles for both sexes and that over the years these lines have become increasingly blurred..... But as the old saying goes.."you can lead a horse to water but...." You can never learn if you're unwilling to ....... As the gender roles are now becoming increasingly open to interpretation we all have the choice to either adapt & reassert our own roles in this ever changing world, or to dig our heels in and moan about the injustice and confusion of it all. As the single mother of 4 incredible young boys I've had to readjust my thinking, approach, preconceptions and yes my integral role in their world ........ I'm now their mother, father, sole provider, life educator , role model, housewife, sports coach.... Everything...... I never expected to be the only parent responsible for so many facets of their lives, nonetheless this is now the role that I must play....... .. Sure Initially i was disappointed, heartbroken , angry and terrified, and could've wasted years rallying against the unjustness of it all....... But instead I've done everything in my power to give them everything I can... Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually.... I've surrounded them with positive male role models, worked hard to send them to private school.... Everything that I possibly could .... Alone.......my role of mother has had to transform into something more ambiguous...... Something less clearly defined by my gender ..... Something that is both mother AND father.....and whilst this new role is constantly exhausting, frustrating, bewildering and filled with self doubt it is the most rewarding and fulfilling experience and one that has taught me more about how much I am capable of than my previously more clearly defined role of wife and mother.This whole role readjustment has happened to men too.... It's not solely the domain of women....... fathers that have been given no choice and have had the option of adjusting and learning, and perhaps finding strengths within themselves that they would never have discovered otherwise, or to hold their heads in dismay at the tough deal life has dealt them......So whilst I applaud those who willingly take on the challenge of breaking through societies historical gender roles and prove to themselves that they are not defined purely by their gender , I also applaud those whose role adjustments have been forced upon them and they have embraced them in a way that makes them even more incredible as a person......methinks we should all stop the self pitying and mourning the loss of gender definition and instead congratulate ourselves for our incredible ability to learn and cope with whatever life throws at us:) ps ...... I have to admit to imbibing several glasses of particularly fine Cabernet merlot this evening lol so apologies for my passionate ramble lol xx try
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RHP User
12 years ago
First up, I separated without a court battle, we lodged an agreement with the family court 50/50 split of property and chattels, dual responsibility for the children. No drama there.This blog came about after several conversations with women, one a social worker friend, the others friend girls dismayed that men are scared/intimidated by them.I do not blame women for anything, and I recognise that there are still many areas where women are treated unfairly still, work and pay being one.I am enjoying my time here, my dance card is full, I'm not trying to get laid.So no, I will not be procuring an Asian partner, nor Russian or Bratislavian !But some men do because they are disenchanted with modern women and yes I agree they do want to visit the past where the women are subservient, some I believe are simply old fashioned, some are exploitative bastards and others are victims of their own weakness. I don't condone it or condemn it, It is simply an observation.I joined a mens group around the time my first child was born, it was very informative and enlightening but fell apart due to general apathy. At that time I worked in boatbuilding, a few times when I mentioned the mens group it was treated with derision and suspicion, hence the gay comment.Carry on.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Evolution implies change for the better based on survival of the fittest / most adaptable. We are facing a very different scenario my friend ... survival of those most able to obey and conform to the social engineering experiments that abound is the flavour of the day. Refusing to allow the weak to perish and the strong to prosper is in fact devolution ( contaminating the gene pool not refining it)The empowerment to a literal equality for women in western cultures is a collective choice made by men - not women deciding to take it. We (Men collectively) have chosen to promote and foster it because love and respect received from an "equal" - free from any fear or perceived obligation ultimately means more, it is more rewarding and more satisfying ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
This topic died out Come on people lets here your views
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RHP User
12 years ago
These changes are affecting the mental health of men. I am a thinker and will get stuck looking for an answer but at the same time accept change. 'Is that change for the better --- see stuck thinking yet again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
No need to apologise, indeed pour a carafe and share it around
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RHP User
12 years ago
Use those balls and dont be a victim- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes I do agree with most of you....its getting bit strange around the world with increasing popularity of feminism and being a manly man is often ridiculed even by men themselves....But we gotta remember one thing...testosterones have a prime function in men and it aint just sex.....this hormones is absolutely responsible for making men more decisive which is often seen as confidence.......Shoot me if you have to but we still have that upper hand as men (atleast as far as biology goes)......we can assess the risk and sacrifices and we go ahead and take the beating.....There has never been anything easy about being a man.....ever.....I am not a sexist but a realist.....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'kingoftheroad'Well we now have the world's best collection of male self-pity. And some women whom I admire enormously are endorsing this whining, mewling, sulky refrain. Let's be clear. It infuriates me, as a sensitive, thoughtful and self-critical man, that a lot of people say that men are homogenous, unreflective, incapable of affection, and unable to read a profile. It irks me that the asymmetry in numbers means it is much harder for me to hook up than a woman on this site. I am sick to death of the idea that blokes are just dicks on legs. Especially when many women on this site are flat out putting a phrase together, let alone a profile. . But having said that, by far the most intelligent and thoughtful posts are by women. And the reality is that men are tremendously advantaged in Australia. Compare wages. Compare levels of authority in businesses. Compare relative numbers of politicians, senior bureaucrats and judges ( changing a bit, and a fucking good thing too). Compare stats for domestic violence, AVOs and the like. (And yes, some of them are bullshit, but that does not disprove the overall profile.) Women are still being told they deserve to be raped if they go out at night in revealing clothing. No one ever says a man deserved a flogging cos he wore silver tail football colours in a lumpen suburb. There are women's shelters. No one has suggested that there should be men's shelters, and there is a reason for that. I am 62. I have worked on cattle properties, a tramp steamer, factories, offices, private and public enterprise, universities, hamburger joints, one newspaper, a flash cafe and building roads and bridges in the bush. Some places had more women, some more men. Some had female bosses, some had men. Some had a relatively overt ideology of sexual equality, some did not. Some employed quite a lot of gay ( shock! Horror! End of the world!) women or men. In not one, not one, not goddam one was it a disadvantage to have a scrotum. Not one. It was nearly always a clear advantage. Even after we started saying 'chairperson' and 'dear sir or madam' ( more shock and horror). I have no idea how many women can hold a machine gun. I do know that not all men can. I do know that if a woman assesses the risk of being in the army and professional senior armed service personnel back her assessment, that is ok by me. . I do know that women in the bush ( my mum, for example) can fire guns, muster sheep and cattle, drive trucks and tractors, and buy and sell livestock just as well as men. Better, a lot of the time. Yes, the family court is, I understand, often a sad place. But if you want to say it is prejudiced against men, you need hard facts, not just anecdotes. My anecdotes are of a lot of women who felt bruised by it all. But does anyone really want to go back to fault-based divorce, with one party being demonized and spiv private dicks spying on couples having (or pretending to have, for evidentiary reasons) a dirty weekend? Nor do I buy the line that men are sad little islands who cannot communicate. Are you really saying that Hillary Clinton - brilliant though she be- is a better communicator than Bill? Men historically communicated and related well enough to dominate trade unions, parliaments, professional and business associations, newspapers, schools and universities. It is, I suspect, that women do communicate better, and that they are better at detail, (good reasons to choose a rental property manager, lawyer, or parliamentary rep with ovaries) but men are very good at it. A lot of this uncommunicative island, stuff, I suspect, comes from the John wayne image of the strong silent guy. This is fed by self pity, and is a good jerker of sympathy. So. the brothers are still doin it for themselves, and not traveling too bad. *looks around to see if anyone is listening, sees no one, shrugs and goes home* I so need to read the rest before I post but hands down sir you get a fucking cookie this man needs a medal far from the fact I agree completely with this man, is the more amazing thing..... a internet post that is intelegent down to earth, to the piont, sensor, clear, and with both good humor and intent. Add to this that he easly shows how norrow and ultimately piontless any type of descusion based on ill concived questioning. I was involved in a post war once with a white supremacist on a subject not to deslemer a debate. Removeing all prejudice both ways, both sides had both intellect and lets just say base behaviour. So I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say that would show how forcefully I belived in my convections yet not let me be drawn into a piontless debate with a man that will never change. this is what I wrote and I think it fairs well here as well A question asked as your duty as a free thinking individual it is to question the common norm, is in its self a noble one. A question asked to reinforce a preexisting prejudice, is in its self not...... lynton
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Copernikiss' Evolution implies change for the better based on survival of the fittest / most adaptable. We are facing a very different scenario my friend ... survival of those most able to obey and conform to the social engineering experiments that abound is the flavour of the day. Refusing to allow the weak to perish and the strong to prosper is in fact devolution ( contaminating the gene pool not refining it)The empowerment to a literal equality for women in western cultures is a collective choice made by men - not women deciding to take it. We (Men collectively) have chosen to promote and foster it because love and respect received from an "equal" - free from any fear or perceived obligation ultimately means more, it is more rewarding and more satisfying ... You can see the paradox of your post.... right?!Do you obey/conform?Are you surviving? DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some of the responses seem to be lacking in compassion. In relation to suicide, it is a tragedy, full stop. Man or woman it is a blight. It has nothing to do with whether a man's balls are big enough, whether he should pump up. Similarly for women it has nothing to do with the size of any anatomical equivalent either. It has nothing to do with how strong or weak a person is at times. the current view represented in our legislation in NSW and most other states is that only someone mentally I'll or mentally disordered will ever resort to suicide and indeed this is frequently the case. Sometimes treatment will assist, sometimes not. Sometimes some time and distance will allow someone temporarily overcome by circumstances in their life to gain the perspective to see there is hope and sometimes not. In every one of the several hundred suicide and attempted suicide cases I have had an involvement in, one thing is the same....life has become too painful and death seems a way to end that pain. Whether the pain is a result of psychosis, the reality they are dealing with is too painful, or whether it is a result of events in their life overwhelming their coping skills, it is the pain that tends to drive the choice to end their life. That any person regardless of sex, colour or creed can be expected to endure this pain for an extended with often very little help or support in our evolved society is an indictment on us all at times. to bring it back a little more towards part of the OP, men are dropping a lot more often than women.....true. The two highest risk factors for suicide here are 1. Male and 2. Alcohol and in that order. As to why? There are many many theories, both on why the stats are that way (arguments about lethality of method, attempts to completion and such) and also about why people feel driven to a place where they feel it is there only option. I am not even certain which of the theories I believe most. But what I see is pain. In the end of a human life. In the eyes of a parent, sibling or friend when I have to tell them what has happened. In the hearts or the Emergency Services and Health workers who deal with it. I don't really mean to preach, and I am sure those who have made some of the less compassionate responses really aren't lacking in compassion, but it saddens me a little the tone of some of the responses and I find I think of John Donne's words......Each man's death diminishes me,For I am involved in mankind.Therefore send not to know for whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee. Many of the contributors to the forums on here out me to shame at times with their ability to show compassion and generosity of spirit towards others.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mental illness is one factor, another is people who are full of despair You are right justforfunisall, people who have lost all hope more often than not look at suicide as a way out. Unfortunately, they forget that the people around them have to cope with them being gone. People need hope and if they can't find it, it is up to us to show them how to find it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' You can see the paradox of your post.... right?!Do you obey/conform?Are you surviving? DG Indeed I do ... Surviving can wait till the lights go out ( which coincidentally is right about the time my point will be unambiguously confirmed) .. living is the name of the game till then
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Copernikiss' Evolution implies change for the better based on survival of the fittest / most adaptable. ... evolution doesn't imply improvement, it just means whoever is best adapted to the changing environment will survive and pass on that trait.It's a fallacy of projection to call it better or worse, there is no such thing in evolutionary time scales. Just change.If changed sex roles represents 'the changing environment', then evolving would be adapting to thriving in this new paradigm. However, I don't think women having more respect and equality comparatively really represents any challenge to male identity and should not be considered a 'changed sex role' at all; unless the case is being made that a 'healthy' male identity depends on there being less equality and respect for women.I think our greatest tragedy is the absence of parental example of what healthy male qualities are due to breakdown of relationships while children are still involved, which leave a confused young man to make it up as they go along, choosing all the cliches of violence, pretence, brashness, and conflict that really don't fulfil anyone's basic human needs and leave them ultimately empty and in despair. Also not being able to watch how two parents in love relate to each other will guarantee future bitter failures. If they're lucky they'll eventually get it right, but more will fail and fall by the way.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi Lady,Thanks for the insights, Yes it seems it can be a sad life being a man, however if you are a positive person and are just happy being who you are, then you really don't seek or need anyone to fill that hole in your life. I have been divorced twice now and and just happy in my own skin. I am not a mans man, I love the company of woman. At least you can talk to a woman unlike most men. And woman although alot are superficial and petty in thier thinking. are great company and compliment us men. I dont mean that in a derogetary way, i mean it as a complment. I believe that the two species were meant to go together and help each other in life. It is just unfortunate that the modern woman expects more than that. Any way enough rambling. Just point me in the direction of an understanding compassionate and loving woman.signed the Disalussioned one.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Women these days need to be treated more like children. Don't pander to them, set boundaries, be firm, put consequences in place and follow them through, set expectations and ensure they live up to them. Don't negotiate with the terrorist ! It's a real shame so many modern woman act like this because personally I think it's such a huge backwards step. Many women see it as being independent, in charge etc etc .... Truth is they behave like princesses and spoilt kids. Seriously, when your having trouble with a modern woman, think how you might deal with a spoilt kid, try it out and you'll be amazed by the results :) So to answer the question ... Men might be in crisis but like the parents of spoilt kids ... We only have ourselves to blame. Children will get away with what they are allowed to and unfortunately, so will many mentally immature urban princesses.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not all women are like what I described, many are emotionally mature and capable of being a great partner. However it is a worrying trend that I've observed that just as many are as per my first reply.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It has never been easy to be a man, nor is it easy to be a woman, but women do seem to enter the world with a better understanding of their place in it than men do. Maybe that is why philosophy has traditionally been a male pursuit, although I can hear the feminists shouting vociferous protests to such a view. The fact is many men live life in an emotional straightjacket woven by the unreal expectations of what constitutes 'a real man!'. The only advice I could give my ever give my two son's were: 1) learn to use your brain, and 2) never sell a hamster to a homosexual ! (sorry I have a very warped sense of humour). But that is the message of point 2, develop a sense of humour, what else can we do?As a man you are very likely to live a shorter and somewhat more puzzling existence than woman does. You only have two fundamental functions; fighting and fucking, then biology discards you and leaves the world to woman. Who invariably lives longer, happier and has more intense orgasms than man! Bill
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RHP User
12 years ago
The question was "MEN. Are they in a crisis?" No. Humanity is in a crisis. We are all in this together... and to be honest, we live on a small rock (comparatively speaking) with over seven billion people, many with conflicting views about religion, culture and human rights, just to name few. Then we have eastern VS western, old fashioned VS new-age thinking, those who want to remain in the present and those who wish to push forward. It is a lot to deal with... and on top of that we seem to have one of the more current and media-sensationalised topics of MEN vs WOMEN. You're always going to have the extremists in each of these and they are often the ones who feel the need to voice their opinions the most. Generally, they cause outrage and really only aim to cause segregation between those that follow the same views and those that do not. However, this doesn't mean that they represent the views of the many. Specifically, feminists and the chauvanistic manly-man. Neither of these are conducive to what the world wants or what the world needs. And lastly, whenever these types of topics are brought up and women and men of western nations start arguing over who should be able to do what and the expectations of each other... who's thinking about the poor children, namely the girls, in countries such as Pakistan or Iran, who are literally murdered for wanted a different (more equal) life. I would think that a gross negligence of human rights such as this would hold more value and importance... but, I guess it's easier to just forget that there are people far more disadvantaged than us and in greater need of help. The issue of mental health and suicide was also mentioned... and speaking as someone who has been directly affected by both, I believe there is major gap in funding, awareness and understanding. It is no ones fault... mental illnesses are still not fully understood and it will take time and some coercing to attain the improvements we need in this area. I mean... SSRIs are being handed out like candy these days and the science behind them is quite flawed. But, that's another topic entirely. /end rant- Posted from rhpmobile
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