M52
...Male Code...
February 07 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
I agree. I see my mates in the truest sense. They appreciate me for what we have in common and do not judge me on the decisions which differ from their own. The common ground, reliability and honour between mates should be more important. I carry around secrets from a number of mates and they will go to the grave with me. I too have had to cut away the ones who work to their own advantages
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have a mate like this Like you, we now aren't such good mates and I tend not to tell him anything private or personal Had a few dramas very similar to yours that he knew things about me so told his partner who told my ex Yeah thanks mate! Caused a whole heap of drama and cost me more money blood sucking solicitors!
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RHP User
15 years ago
There was a thread here that may still be running about who tends to talk more about things that I think are of a very personal....and private, nature. I have a very well selected and well chosen few friends that do know some things about me that are definitely on a need to know only basis and the scale of secrecy is well balanced. I am paid to keep secrets covered under the Privacy Act at work and on a personal level do tell people when they are starting in to the TMI zone, then it's up to them. | Best practise...if you want to lean on the water cooler and compare notes, keep it to important stuff like who won the footy last weekend or some hot tip on the market that might just pay off. I don't see why anyone would need to self validate with friends, even close ones...by telling them you just kicked another goal and who was on the other team. | Even the closest of friends make crack under fire...let alone giving it up if they find going home might be a bit like weekend away in Quantanamo Bay. I don't tell secrets that I would not want repeated under any circumstance. It's just human nature to tell someone else all the "hot goss" you know or can make up...and especially if the brain is lubricated with a bit of your favourite 100 proof beverage or by a partner armed with a Scanpan. | Best way to keep a close friend close is not to put them in a place where they may just slip and cross the line of friendship. What's that bit about "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Besides...you and the other person involved already know all you need to know so what's the benefit of handing your notes to a reporter from the Herald Sun? And whatever you do... | ...leave the pictures in the sealed manila envelope.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I can understand how you feel, it is quite a betrayal.As the female speaking here i don't keep any secrets from MR GC but i also trust that if i share something that was told to me in confidence that is stays between us. Likewise if he were to tell me something it stops with me, and of course i would never let on that i know about it. It isn't about scoring 'Brownie points' as you put it but more about having someone to talk to/vent with. I am sure that there things that both of us have been told in confidence that we haven't told eachother just purely because we didn't feel the need or it didn't come up (not because we were keeping things secrete).Your mates wife is the one in the wrong here from my point of view she betrayed not just your trust but her husbands, regardless of her view she should have kept her mouth shut.Mrs GC
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Letsgetcrazy09
15 years ago
This is nothing unusual. Yes I have several mates that are tattle tales too. I don't know what it is that makes them have to blab everything but their is. Perhaps its their feminine side coming out (I know girls, you are going to pay out on me on this one). I know them to be that way and so I don' tell them things that I don't want broadcast all over the place. At the same time when you want to have something relayed that you don't necessarily care about or have the energy to broadcast yourself they can be a great asset.I am sure that the girls find the same thing with their mates too.JMOLets
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yeah... you can't trust your so called mates when it comes to secrets about women, that's for sure... I can appreciate why... it's the first symptom of the onset of a cum coma... you know... that place you go to somewhere between euphoric and snoring just after you cum.... women ask questions like "Do you love me".. and you automatically say yes.... I mean.. what is that about? They're such sneaky bitches... they must learn it in Physical Education at high school that men are vulnerable for information at that time... I mean.. when the boys get separated from the girls to talk about their bits... they must talk about our bits.There are mates I wouldn't trust with anything.. and mates that I trust with everything... if you haven't sorted which is which, then now is a good time to start. Personally I truly hate the culture that has developed around the process of separation.. I've lost a lot of good company that way because his wife is friends with mine or something ... what with her over here bitching all the time there's no room for him.... and it seems that dudes just seem to walk away and stand alone, whereas women gather up the masses for backup and support. I never believe the stories I hear that women say about their blokes... so full of piss and vinegar that the truth goes by the by for the sake of the drama of it all.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry boys, Stalky is right. Think about the Cum Coma effect. A woman will wheedle the story out of you eventually. We are like Chinese water torture....one tiny drop of water at a time until we drive you crazy and you give in..... Further more we can smell a hint of gossip or a secret a mile away.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'There are mates I wouldn't trust with anything.. and mates that I trust with everything... if you haven't sorted which is which, then now is a good time to start. Stalky is also right about this. There are people who you can trust with stuff, and there are people who you can't. Doesn't matter is they are a man or a woman. Doesn't make them unworthy of friendship, just unworthy of secrets. You gotta sort that shit out fast too. Think of it this way. Do you remember them ever telling you the dirt on someone else? Then there is a good chance they will share your dirt, too. I suppose you could be specific, and say "Please don't tell your partner about this...it is really important to me that no one else knows."
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RHP User
15 years ago
why Brag Boast or give yourself the headaches .. simple SAY FARK ALL ..does anyone actually need to know = NOPE
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RHP User
15 years ago
methinks he has hit the nail, smack on the head.The very first person to blab- is he who tells his mates!
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RHP User
15 years ago
...sometimes we have to close an eye, or block an ear... you never, ever stop learning in this wonderful jouney of life.. forward we all go.... cheers all...
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RHP User
15 years ago
I pick and choose which mate i tell what too..this works for me..
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RHP User
15 years ago
loose lips sink ships ... just keep it shut!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ridinsolo' loose lips sink ships ... just keep it shut! See, I used to follow this script and without a doubt it is very effective... but then I met a bloke that I had good reason to trust with all my most intimate secrets, my feelings and so on... I mean, the dude has been there and done everything so anything I do pales to insignificance by comparison... he has the kind of practical experience that you just cannot get from any tom dick and harry you call a mate and he is not connected with my regular crowd or mutual friends of my wife or family. That is changing, as I've been mates with him for 5 years now and my wife has taken a shine to him too... errr... lolz... and he's gay.... and we don't have sex. I mean, it's perfect!Sharing is apparently very liberating.... much better than locking all that shit away guys.... get yourself a wingman and set up a regular pizza night for mutual confession time.. or whatever. :pHugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
that you don't want their husband or wife to know. . tell the internet instead, I love reading that shit!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I will share my deepest secrets with strangers I will most likely never meet, who dont know who im talking about and wouldnt even believe my more unusual rants. You tell your one best friend as long as it stays between you, then he HAS TO tell his beloved wife or girlfriend as long as it stays between them, then she HAS TO tell her best friend as long as it stays betwwen them, and it goes on and on like that until the wrong person is told or just overhears. Although having two sets of friends 2000 ks apart who dont know each other is a good alternative.
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