Marriage

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  The only hard work I can attest to would be not letting the everyday trivial things involved in family life swamp you and extinguish the flame of intimacy between your partner and you. If you can maintain that intimacy and still connect with each other as equals and acknowledge that equality then the rest should be a piece of cake.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Ive been married a couple of times...and all was good............till it went bad   I never viewed marriage as hard work..no fun.....but in saying that, I was fortunate that mortgage issues didnt raise its ugly head nor even though children were wanted - it couldnt happen and perhaps ..just perhaps it becomes hard work when you have financial and children issues..but Im only guessing at that...I had 3 very unusual and non conventional marriages..where the usual day to day life problems and grinds werent part of my marriages ...my marriages (two ended in divorce - those two broke for very complicated reasons......)...Im widowed by my third   I think the most important thing to remember is this...............one usually assumes you marry your best friend....so act like best friends..have fun, laugh, be silly, go out on dates, have joint interests but have seperate lives as well... and always appreciate each other.......communicate honestly and openly... and love each other like theres no tomorrow   I dont believe marriage is hard work at all...if your married to the rite person..................each day is wonderland.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Now I have never been married before but if it's hard work and you have to constantly work at it etc etc then I'd say you've married the wrong person......

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  i havent been married either but i consider it marriage as we are now going on 21yrs and i still get the butterflies with my hubby, our relationship is just wonderful, we like most couples have had hurdles in our life to get to where we are today so in saying that, i think marriage is hard work only if you allow it to be, you can either learn from mistakes to make things easy or you can repeat things over and over to make marriage harder than what it seems, if you have unconditional love, Trust, understanding and communication like myself and my hubby, then sites like these with individual profiles and other people to share are great bonuses to your marriage or your relationship , remember, it does take two!

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  its easy...the game changes, the rules change, we change.... when you marry...you are promising the other, even if its unspoken, that you are there for them, and only them...when you are dating...you dont live together, you have your own space and time, and theres only an 'idea' of permanency.....and you can pretty much leave when you want... live together or marry...and every single thing you do, say, feel ...... comes with a responsibility to the other... theres no 'i' in a healthy marriage...only a 'we'...and only one shared life......not so when you are boyfriend/girlfriend and living 2 seperate but linked lives........the ones who say its hard work obviously dont get it...its actually much much easier than dating, and a whole lot less complicated... i know where i stand with my wife, as she does with me...when we were dating, that was definitely never the case...

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Quoting 'unassuming82' Now I have never been married before but if it's hard work and you have to constantly work at it etc etc then I'd say you've married the wrong person...... Yep agree whole heartedly. Came close once and could see it was headed in this direction so cut and run... best decision ever made!!

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  The engagement ring, the wedding ring ..and the suffering ~smirks~

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  erotictouch4u

  13 years ago

  Dating is 2 single people, sharing feelings and experiences but living separate lives and not being in each other's pockets 24/7. The biggest decision you need to make is what movie to go see or which nightclub to go to.   With marriage usually comes children and financial burden. These are the 2 biggest factors in what makes a marriage hard work. Children need a full-time commitment for atleast 18 yrs until they are old enough to leave home and often it is longer. Some people cannot handle the sudden change in their life not being able to do what they want, when they want, without considering the needs of the children...they consider they have "lost their life"...but children ARE your life during this time in a marriage. Finances are shared in a marriage and purchases are much larger so again some do not like the idea of not being able to spend what they want on something without planning or considering how it will affect the needs and livelyhood of the family first...again they are being told thay can't have what they want.   As others have said, finding the right partner who understands these changes in life with marriage, accepting and planning for them while adjusting their expectations will make it not so hard work but a rewarding experience.   ET xox

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  thats the humour in a relationship Quoting 'ScratchyandItchy' The engagement ring, the wedding ring ..and the suffering ~smirks~

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