M44

Mindfulness

February 24 2016

I've been called cold and calculating in the past. I can see how they came to that conclusion too. I think about how i think, i think about how i feel and i think about what i could do. Instinct is there but i learned to override it before i even reached my teens. Emotional reaction takes place, but is not allowed to dictate action. For example; someone does something to make me angry, i recognise the emotion and identify the instinctual thoughts that come with it, then i consider what the best action to take would be if i wasn't angry and hadn't had those thoughts, then i take that emotionally detached action all the while thinking I'm only having those other thoughts because they are the instinctual reaction to the anger. The same sort of process happens for every emotion. It makes me wonder how many others do the same. Do you actually think about what you're thinking? Before you act on the thought?

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RHP User

10 years ago

Ah... I do TRY and I must say that I have mellowed over the years. It doesn't help that I am a very typical Scorpio sun sign, although I am thankfully also tempered by a Virgo moon and Libra Venus. But the Scorpio anger, fwah... in exceptional circumstances, I can go from zero to annihilation in under 10 secs! LOL!!! My last FWB witnessed that when we were crossing the road at Lygon Street once when a flashy sports car driven by one of those rich, spoilt Asian brats didn't look like it was going to brake on time and in that instant, when I thought my friend was going to get hit, my instinct took over and I sidestepped him to face the car directly, gave them a killer glare, and yelled, "YOU BASTARDS!!!" My FWB, who was totally oblivious to the fact that that could've been his last day on Planet Earth was totally disorientated and in shock. When he saw the guys behind the wheel taunting me and mocking me and I stood deadly still in front of their car with clenched fists and clenched teeth, he got so worried that a fight will ensue that he dragged me across the street. He was beaming with pride that the legendary Scorpio loyalty rose up to protect him in the face of the threat of death, but he was also semi-teasing me when he said, "Sheesh! You are bloody scary! You went from ice-chill to volcanic lava hot in just that split second!" So there... that's my instinct. Threaten me or my loved ones and I shall fight to the death in defence. Warrior Princess. Now, when it comes to all other dealings in life, when I can feel the anger rising within, I breathe slowly and deeply and delay my action. I step on the brakes, so to speak. I am usually placid and gentle but piss me off and the toxic venom spews but it takes a lot to piss me off to that extent and usually, it is justifiable. I have good control over my emotions the older I get and I no longer sweat the small stuff. I hate to hurt people, especially people that I am fond of or love, and I have seen how my uncensored words can break people's hearts and reduce them to tears and destroy the relationship / friendship so I have learnt my lessons and I'd much rather suffer in silence for a while whilst I recoup and consider how to act and respond. I do get very icy cold and dead silent when I am angry because I am trying not to say things I will probably regret after the anger dissipates. All said, I felt so disrespected, so insulted, and so hurt by what an inconsiderate guy I met on RHP said via sms a few days ago that after sleeping over the issue for a night, I decided to let rip the next day and my fury saw light of day. I'm not proud of that, but I felt that the respect boundary had been violated and I could not allow myself to be insulted in that callous manner. The price of that is our friendship but it wasn't much of a friendship anyway and I had been treated more like a Fuck Buddy that he wanted to hide and only contact at his convenience - I was accorded the lowest priority possible and I have more self-respect than to accept that. So... yes, I pause to think, ponder, and evaluate and toss things around in my head and consider the consequences before expressing my anger. I am no angel, but I am long-suffering so it balances out.

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RHP User

10 years ago

"A lowlife dog"and a LOT worse ...

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RHP User

10 years ago

I had a mother with no filter between the brain and mouth so omg I tried to contemplate what was in my brain before action or vocalisation. But sometimes I decide to just let it rip. Afterall I am human and why not let me be me sometimes.

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RHP User

10 years ago

You just need to practice the downward dog 😝xxFreya

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RHP User

10 years ago

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RHP User

10 years ago

You sound like The Terminator, Dryphuz. Stick around... However. I tend to speak without thinking it over too much...depends on the topic, to be honest, and how volatile the subject matter is to the person I'm speaking with.I think I have a fairly direct line between my mouth and my heart...for want of a better term...I'm not afraid to speak of my feelings and emotions with anyone. I rather relish it, actually.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Me half a lifetime to figure out that it was best to engage brain before mouth..If I had figured it out before then I wouldnt have been sacked from jobs or turned away friends and lovers.. When my daughter was about to return to her old school for a student teacher placement I knew that many of the teachers who were still there loathed her because she had no filter ,just told them what she thought...So I sat her down and said,If you want to do well you have to change their opinion of you,so engage brain before you say anything,do not argue,and go the extra mile..and surprisingly she listened and at the end of her placement the school offered her a job. XxFreya

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RHP User

10 years ago

Well I'm fairly useless I must say. Extremely emotive being and at times way too much. I have always had that trouble and was constantly told to think before I spoke as a child, well that didn't sink in. I was highly ADD as a child and in my twenties developed bipolar which can be a real bitch when it comes to rational thought. I often come home from down the street and laugh or cry and say why did I do that. Damn I can be an embarrassment to friends and family sometimes with my emotional thought and mouth. Quite jealous of my friends who can stop and be rational in their thought and actions and I often call them bastards (endearing form) for having that ability. Many times throughout my life I have had to be a recluse as I can upset that apple cart and I don't want to put that on people. Faith No More have a song called 'A Small Victory' not really about emotional thinking but I relate to the lyrics (kinda the chorus) that says "It shouldn't bother me no, it shouldn't, it shouldn't bother me no.... but it does".

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RHP User

10 years ago

confrontation..2 weeks ago in fact..I was asked to accompany a young lady to a known drug dealer and user to recover some of her belongings..I arrived after her.. and was on the outside of a large steel gate.they argued.. he grabbed her.. I broke gate in.. and took him to the ground.he went to sleep.. and on revival, he went into a mini cardiac arrest...recover and revive.. try to pacify.. but.. being high on drugs does NOT lead to common sense..Threatened the life of friends and family... so was put back to sleep.possibly only 30 seconds away from a mortal situation.a 56yo against a 30yo drug infused individual..the situation could have been FAR different.Like "Purepeony"..a little while of contemplation... and all of a sudden.. shit breaks loose.. and even though you can see the outcome.. you are virtually powerless to stop it..

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sweetgem

10 years ago

As much as I would like to be in total control of every bit of my emotion and anger, sometimes I fail and react to my thoughts in the moment of heat 😛especially in the past 12 months as my emotions and stresses are heightened for a reason 😛 However, I do always reflect back on what have happened and the actions that I took post the events/incidents. I do that not because I feel regretted of my own actions, it is indeed a way for me to learn and improve on how I could and should handle situations better the next time I encounter one or many. I use my experiences as a mirror to check back on what I could do better in life and be an even better person, etc. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

Cavey.... Possibly a case of a story better not bragged about in a forum. But I get it. Personally speaking, self awareness, self observation and empathy go a long way. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

Sorry mate...It wasn't SUPPOSED to come over as a brag...It was supposed to be an answer to the OP..He concluded his story with.."Q" It makes me wonder how many others do the same. Do you actually think about what you're thinking? Before you act on the thought? "UQ"

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