M58
Moving interstate for the right girl
August 18 2014
Comments
-
Forus1234
11 years ago
Yes, we would cause we did! Now, married 19 years with children. We travelled for 6 months to get to each other! With your situation, probably give it more time before you move. You have determine whether it's love or lust! A long I distance relationship can either make or break a relationship. We didn't move in with each other straight away when my husband moved to Sydney, as getting to know each other is important. The thrill of boarding a plane & having wild sex for a weekend is alot different to having someone around everyday. We feel your excitement lol! Good luck with it xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Yes I would
-
Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
Would you spend the rest of your life saying what if? Life is too short for regrets. Only you can answer the question truly.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'd move to the other side of the world for the right person and I'm a bit whimsical so I'd happily do it in two months. But I'd probably have tried to spend a bit of extended time with them first, even a week or two just to see how we gel. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Premature to me... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Had this situation in reverse option back to Melbourne ,which I love ,born and bred But the weather Omg! Still ponder one that perhaps got away!But cannot live life looking in rear view mirror -have to move on!
-
MissBishere
11 years ago
Doubt I would move at all. I have kids in schools to consider. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
2 months is too short a period of time in my opinion. Is it because you feel sorry for her that she has no "real family" in Perth? Good luck, that's a huge decision. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
And both are keen on each other, I say why not? You only live once :) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Have you met her?Are you "in love"? If she has no real family what holds her in Perth? I would be explore what other options there might be before dashing over there. And maybe give it a bit more time. Once upon a time I would have said GO, now I am a bit more cautious.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Would you move interstate from Melb. to Perth after knowing a girl for 2 months (she has no real family) when all your friends and family are here in Melbourne. A bigger question for me would be.... ......what do you have going on in YOUR hopefully well established world, that, after knowing you for 2 months should encourage her to want to become a part of YOUR life where you live. Seriously..... 2 months...... to fully disrupt your life... above and beyond any movie scripted theoretical love story?!!! No way.
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Good point. In my current circumstance as a single parent, no. But it has happened to me. When I was a young single woman with no kids I was involved with an Englishman I met in the US. It was love at first sight for both of us. Felt the bolts shooting thru us when we met. Extremely passionate wonderful 2 weeks. I went back to Australia as my contract finished. we kept in touch and after being away from each other for 2weeks we realized we must get together again rather than live a life of what-ifs or regrets. After a few weeks I was fortunate to receive another job offer in the USA and chose to work n live in his city. Serendipity. Wonderful 9 months. I found my soul mate. we got engaged but had to call it off as I had to get back to Aus due illness in the family and he can't leave the job in the US. I understood but then life just has a way of taking over and i got on with my new job back home n my familial responsibilities. He was the only person I ever loved, more than my ex husband. He understood me and he felt like the missing puzzle piece I was looking for. But we never lost touch. Nearly 20 years later, with marriage, kids n divorce under our belts, we are still in constant contact. Mail (we love writing letters and doodling in the margins. Juvenile I know. Lol), e-mails text phone calls. We are both single again with kids this time. We still hold the torch for each other I suppose. We have got together on a couple of meet up holidays in Paris and Thailand. but as we have kids to look after, that torch will have to keep waving up in the air. There will be no moves for us for now. But never say never. Good luck. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
MsJonesy
11 years ago
I would consider an extended holiday so you could spend some quality time together. It doesn't mean she would need to take leave for the whole period you are there; treat it like a trial 'living together' where one of you is on leave and the other isn't. Have a couple of long weekends together but not much more. The point is to see how you relate to each other on an ongoing basis, outside the starry eyed & lust induced first couple of months. I would expect her to do the same and visit you. Then you will be in a position to make decisions. You are in a whirlwind of desire at the moment. That is not the place to be to make such momentous decisions. I also ask the same question as MischeviousLad; why can't she move to you?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Earlier this year I broke up with a fantastic woman I'd been seeing for a year because it would have meant relocating to another city. It's not an option. Not only are my kids at school in Sydney, but all my work is in Sydney. It was sad, but it had to be.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Its yr life, yr decision, & one only YOU can make, as u will have to pay the price if it all turns to custard.... Slow down, think logically, weigh up the pros & con's, and for gods sake, look at the bigger picture...Its a huge step, fraught with complications, changes, loneliness, and risks. Why the need to rush so quickly???? If it is going to be a 'forever love' then she should be willing to wait for as long as it takes to make a logical , sound & well thought out plan. If she's not - then why take the chance of losing the secure life u currently have..? Consider this....You will have no friends, family or support networks, so may feel isolated & depressed. You will need to find a job, ( incredibly hard in this current climate) & what if the new job suxs? You will have to integrate fully into HER life, home, friends, family's & established routines. ( what if u find this difficult? Tough!! ). Talk this through seriously with yr new lover, discuss fears, hopes, shared future goals, alternatives and consequences. Set clear guidelines of what u BOTH want to achieve, then work slowly towards them. Consider waiting a year, take weekend trips there, get to know her lifestyle & personality well, find a safe & secure job in advance. Yes, it maybe all love, passion & fireworks now, but that is because the r/ship is new & exciting. This will change, u will irritate each other, argue, "cute" habit s may start to grate on yr nerves. Will u be loyal of each other? Think with yr head, & not yr dick....Make the right decision, not the quickest one..But hey, as I said...yr life..!! - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'd go over there and visit her maybe for a week or so. It's a big move and if things don't work out you have some new hassles. Personally I'd just see her and then after a while maybe make the move, just remember you have to make sure it's what you want to and you're not losing out.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
From a personal viewpoint, I was married, pregnant and had 2 kids under 4 when I relocated from NZ to Perth, 8 years ago for my ex husbands job promotion.....I was in a very different situation from u, aswe had kknown each other for 10 years, and I loved and trusted him implicitly. I was willing to give up everything , in order to support his dreams, goals & ambitions. Well....needless to say, I was overwhelmed by the change, & had 3 kids under 4, a new born baby & no support networks. Severe depression set in, we argued. I felt lonely & totally unsupported, struggling to cope with a new country, etc etc... Within 3 months, my ex husband loved the new lifestyle, career perks & challenges. He found a new liver in his accountant, so left his wife & children for her ..Yep...never came back..!! I was gutted, but eventually moved on, & he is a good dad to the kids... My experience was bloody awful, but for you it maybe wonderful....Who really knows...??? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I moved from Melbs to Perth without knowing anyone ! That was 1987, haven't regretted a moment.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
If there are no children and ex'es involved then sure. You will have a pretty good idea in the first 6 months if it's going to work or not. If it doesn't work out then move back and your family and friends will still be there. Cheers, W - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
No I wouldn't
-
RHP User
11 years ago
You'll potentially regret the things in life that you didn't do, more than the things you did...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Barely knew her...and it all went to hell. now i am stuck here. I guess it is worth it if you really love her.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
OP, sounds like you might be more in lust than in love. You haven't said how much time you have spent with the lady in question, I hope you have at least met her once prior to making your decision. You have to consider a lot of things to make a move like this. For starters, unless you can either get a transfer with your current employer or have a job guaranteed upon arrival in Perth, she will be the one supporting you, at least initially. Can she do that, or more to the point, is she willing to do that? Secondly, do you have a fallback plan incase things go pear shaped, can you get your old job back, have someone to live if you can't move in with her straight away? And if she has no family in Perth, unless she has a much better job than you, have you discussed her moving to Melb? As other's have said, it is your decision in the end (hopefully in consultation with the lady), just make sure you consider all scenarios first. Mooka
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I had to travel into outer space.Now im lost in love :S
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
There will always be people who are going to judge you. lecture you and tell you what to do and those who will empathize wth you and give you a friendly kind advice to your issue. In my short time here I always find that the latter will be more spot on and their advice will resonate more with you. When it comes to the matters of the heart, it is a hard one as the details are blurred because you are too close to the problem. Thanks for sharing and it brought back a lot of memories flooding in. I have been there as per my post. No family nor definite guarantees on my happiness if I made the move but my feelings and curiousity has got the better of me. There are really good points that some people have given you like what Mooka said, have a fall back plan so it does not leave you destitute or despressed in the end. I had a couple of people I sought advice from (no internet forums then) who I know will look at the problem at hand in an objective manner, stripped of emotions. One of them was my mentor at work. A wise kind man. He did not lecture me nor tell me what to do. That approach just puts up my defensive walls very quickly. Rather, he asked me questions about how I felt (how long can I go without being with my man?), what are my plans regarding how will I feed myself and maintain monetary responsibilites, what are the probable pitfalls, risks (is the other person as much into me as I am into him?) and made me think of different scenarios if it worked or failed. He made me look at the issue at hand from another persons point of view. It took the emotion out of decision making and made the move to the US to be with the man I LOVE easier. The best move I made as I discovered more about myself in going than not. For me the risks was worth it. . I am eternally grateful to him and to this day, I hear his voice in my head handing sage advice on not being judgmental, accepting responsibilities for my actions and decisions(quite empowering) and effective decision making without emotion. You have received some kind advice from the men and women in this forum. Your decision will be based on how well you handle the ensuing emotions of going or not going. For you to determine and not an easy one if you are emotionally invested in it. As for me, I am a romantic fool and lightly reigned in by the little voice in my head to stop and think. That keeps me from jumping into the cliffs without looking and if I do, I better have my parachute strapped on. Lol Best of luck.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks for all your comments from everyone, I added some new facts to version 2, Cheers
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88158
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10229
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11677
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1009 Comments: 5264
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share