F45
My mother know I am a swinger but.....................
January 11 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
I dont know how i would feel if i was confronted this way especially by my mother! Im so sorry to hear that. How did someone get your real name and publish it? I try very hard to hide my identity...maybe i actually dont really try hard enough. it makes me think really!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well, she'll get used to it one way or another. Not knowing the facts and I do not tell, some of my friends just use their imagination. Let me give you an example... What can you imagine your mum imagines? See! Not such a bad girl after all compared to reality! :pHugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
You could have come out and told your mum you're a lesbian BDSM swinger with a fecal fetish..... LOL My wife and I were outed to our entire street a few years ago by a "friend"... my wife was mortified then furious then mortified then embarrassed... and then realised that the people in our street who were our friends wouldn't care or would accept it (which they did). The opinion of everyone else really didn't matter. And on the plus side we became VERY good friends with one of the neighbours ;) LOLPeople judge based on their own personal standards, morals and beliefs. For some the idea of anything other than missionary position is perverted. It's really unfortunate your mum's made you feel bad and dirty but it's her opinion and you shouldn't let it shape your opinion of who you are and how much fun you and your partner have doing what you do :) Of course she's your mum, so that's easier said than done.From what you wrote it sounds like your mum has had her say and is going to stick with the "I don't want to know about it!" line and never bring it up again so at least you have that.Good luck,WP
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RHP User
15 years ago
You could've found out your mother's a swinger. Some mental images are hard to erase!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why is your mom reading articles about swinging, Ive a real thing for mature women, can you pass on my details
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RHP User
15 years ago
My daughter leads a perverted life. She is debauched. We discuss it frequently, sometimes daily and I meet many of her debauched friends as well. Good on ya Focus!
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RHP User
15 years ago
My God.....you crack me up!!!!! Hahahaha....... I love it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Stand tall, hold your head up high and let it be. You are not going to change her way of thinking.... I can't discuss any of our fantasies and ways with any of our friends....are you kidding????!!!! So, I applaud you..you are not alone.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I dont know what age your mum is but mine is 67 and so was brought up in a very different time and has lead a fairly sheltered life ( as far as Im aware!!) If she found out that we are swingers she would be absolutely outraged and disgusted and have a hell of a lot to say on the subject and not in a nice way either I would imagine. Im sure she would also think of it as perversed, seedy etc but quite honestly ....I wouldnt care what she thinks as it would all be assumptions therefor, how can she have an opinion?! If it is something that you and your partner enjoy and feel comfortable with and no one is getting hurt...,,Enjoy and dont worry about what anyone thinks.
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DonnaBrett
15 years ago
Well probably 99% of our regular friends & workmates know what we do....it has never affected those relationships, everyone is cool. As for family...they don't know but we guess one has to be prepared that someday they'll find out....if you don't want to run that risk, don't play the game.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Reading your post made me think about my Mum. She died 3 years ago, Bowels removed and total andomen cancer. Bag to collect poo I changed daily with 3 mths to live. I travelled to NZ to spend 7 days with Mum under those conditions, changing her bags. Late in the evenings she told me go for nudist clubs, swingers lifestyle, Get back to Australia and treat and have fun with my wife, she wished she did instead of rejecting the idea and leaving her 1st marrage. Now my wife is having bowell surgery. We think your mum will say ...go for it. I know there is a airie feeling of total honesty and acceptance of life when you give your Mum a hug for the last time when she appears in good health. Enjoy your Mum.
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RHP User
15 years ago
so what if she knows? its not like she can do anything about it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I had a friend that I thought was reasonably open minded on all things sex. When I discovered the kink world and started playing I would talk with her about general stuff and she was fine with it. If I got on to more weird and kinky stuff she would stop me by saying "too many details". I stopped talking to her about it and tried to keep sex off topic but she kept coming up with remarks about the number of guys I slept with what they were like. She didn't mean to be rude or nasty, it just showed she didn't understand what I did. Problem was when I tried to explain she went back to the "oh no that's too many details" again. Once I made a joke about her buying a super expensive vibrator from Sweden and said "Ohhh very kinky!" and she nearly bit my head off. Thankfully the friendship ended when she finally started a relationship and she no longer had time for any of her friends. And I have to say, my mother knows what I do and doesn't care one way or the other.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Both of these lovely ladies in my dungeon with a subbie boy or two. Now that really would bridge a generation gap.
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SexyArse
15 years ago
So many things made me think and laugh from all the posts you have all made (above) so I wanna thank you so much.Sweetiepie I love u hunni - that is an awesome letterTastietwo I am sorry about ur mum but I understand that when u are given little time that you do look back and think differently so thank you for your insightDonna_brett I wish I had great friends like urs. I am lucky enough to have 2 friends that I completely confide in which is awesomeTrisexual the only sex my mother gets is from her fingers so I guess anything other than that right now is perverted - lmaoJean_Gerard all I can say is ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwMrs SAOT xx
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SexyArse
15 years ago
The article I am referring to was published in the courier mail's magazine under relationships entitled "the club". I was interviewed when I was at a swingers club in brisbane and happy to share my experiences. I did give the guy my name but he did say he would change it ("names have been changed in this article" was also published at the back of the story. Mine was not changed. Given the details that I provided him and the fact that he used my first name it was extremely obvious that it was me. As I was in brisbane and the majority of my family and friends lived in Perth it did not bother me a great deal. Until a few months later the article ended up in the STM (Sunday Times Magazine) the biggest paper in Perth/WA. My mother read it and rang me immediately saying she was reading an article on me. I denied it but am a pretty bad liar - she knew straight away! So there u have it.
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SexyArse
15 years ago
Geesh I am pretty annoyed and hurt by her right now but I don't wanna give her a heart attack - lmaoMrs SAOT xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT'Both of these lovely ladies in my dungeon with a subbie boy or two. Now that really would bridge a generation gap. It may come as no surprize then that I can and do discuss things sexual with my own mother, a woman in her late seventies, including mine and Focus's membership of RHP. No generation gap in our family.
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SexyArse
15 years ago
I take my hat off to you and your family. If only we could all be so lucky and have open minded families. xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am a fan of swinging clubs and my.... and please all read - Adult children know about it.... I think it is truly wonderful to be open. My eldest daughter has even attended with me, mind you we did lay down some basic mother/daughter ground rules... ewww... I do not want to see my girl getting some or visa versa... the one thing that was funny was we decided not to tell people we are mother/daughter.... ha - we could not pull that one off - we were picked in an instant :) All my 3 girls want to come and check out the club with me now.... What have I started..... ?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hubby's mother and all his side of the family know we swing same reaction it is dirty and disgusting marriage is sacred and i just said it is none of their business and it is all adult concented sexual activities also all our 4 children know same thing was told to them it's none of their business and we don't involve them but we have an idea they do the same with their friends our 2 sons found out by their girlfriends whose parents are swingers also on rhp , it's not everyones cup of tea as we will say don't make comments on it if it isn't so long as it doesn't involve children . Even if we were asked by other wifes side of family members we won't deny our activities we are proud of what we have and the main thing is we never play behind each others back .
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT'Both of these lovely ladies in my dungeon with a subbie boy or two. Now that really would bridge a generation gap. I am the subbie babe and dont switch (just not me)...so how about you be really really 'nice' to me and find a subbie boy for Mum....hmmmm...ok some are going to find that idea really weird...lol... Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
As previously stated I live a debauched lifestyle but then so does my mother - Love you Fionabee - how ever many of my friends, work colleagues and other family members know what I am up to and they dont care...as long as I am safe and happy it doesnt matter to them...I have been very blessed to have been raised in a very openly communicative family...those in my generation of it know we can talk to any member of our family about anything and not be judged ... hell some of you should attend a family gathering of the women in my family...the conversation always turns to our respective sex lives..lol.. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard'You could've found out your mother's a swinger. Some mental images are hard to erase!! Hmmm wait - nope too late I already know my mother is...lol . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'youngblack'so what if she knows? its not like she can do anything about it. Hahahaha! Said like a young male! You boys have no idea of the arsenal that some mothers spend a lifetime perfecting! . Lol not me, both Mr H & I are lucky enough to have bloody fantastic parents. That said I wouldnt want them to know. And unless they directly asked me about it I would just ignore the fact they might know. . Sometimes we have to ignore negative attitudes & just get on with our life...Get on with our relationship with our parents. But only you can decide if the comment was the straw that broke the camels back. If it was a one off comment that she has never mentioned again, she probably regrets it, I would just leave it alone. However if it comes up at every Sunday dinner with that much venom, it might be time to have a little chat! You are a grown adult who makes your own choices. But if the choice is to just keep quiet but keep your relationship with mum then thats what I would do. As Tastietwo said...You only get one. Mrs H xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Of course you need to respect her house while you are in it but i'd move out as soon as possible, won't be a problem then.
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SexyArse
15 years ago
I was in a brisbane swingers club interviewed by a very well known newspaper. I did give the interviewer my name but was told that "my real name would not be used" (this was also published on the article). I did not have too much of a problem with it as I did not have any family and very few friends in Brisbane. However the article made it to Perth and was published in the STM. As there were so many small details in the article it was obvious it was me (to people who know me very well). My mother rang me and told me that she had read an article about me. I was mortified but totally denied it at the time. But I am an extremely bad liar unfortunately!
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RHP User
15 years ago
My biggest concern about our parents finding out that we were swingers would be that they would refuse to babysit for us anymore if they thought we were going out to play.
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RHP User
15 years ago
CnS...so true!!! And all these friends having birthdays & engagement parties..whooo!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ladyalwaysguys' I am a fan of swinging clubs and my.... and please all read - Adult children know about it.... I think it is truly wonderful to be open. My eldest daughter has even attended with me, mind you we did lay down some basic mother/daughter ground rules... ewww... I do not want to see my girl getting some or visa versa... the one thing that was funny was we decided not to tell people we are mother/daughter.... ha - we could not pull that one off - we were picked in an instant :) All my 3 girls want to come and check out the club with me now.... What have I started..... ? open and Honest communication with your children...what more could you want??? . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
I find that my family are split in two. My conservative mum and sister and her family would be shocked and horrorified by my choice of lifestyle. On the other hand, my father and his partner are on one of the other adult sites and we do know of each others activity. At least we can joke about it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
lol yea, my mother knows....as does the mother in law. no biggie. we have a number of family members active on this site also so I guess their secrets out too..... but we dont push it into their faces and they leave the subject alone. all good and all respectful......
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SexyArse
15 years ago
No offence but you guys have it fairly easy in that u don't really need to explain your lifestyle. What I mean is being married I am asked every 5 minutes where I am going. If I was single I would merely say "going out for a fuck". Can't say that as a married woman - hahahMrs SAOT xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Thats the problem huh! Like I said (but not to clearly when I reread my post) We use fake birthdays & engagements. It would be easier if we lived in Perth cos then we would just go out for dinner or to a late movie or clubbing. But seeing as its a 2.5hr drive & overnighter...Going out for dinner just doesnt really cut it as an excuse, particularly since in the last 4 years there is only 1 set of mates that we go up specifically to see. Now suddenly we have other friends that we have to see every 3 months without the kids...hmm suspicious? . What about work do, or book club or pub crawl? . Mrs H xx
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SexyArse
15 years ago
Been away from Perth for 6 years. Not working atm so can't say it is a work thing. Don't read alot so book club is out. Don't drink so pub crawl is out. LMAO. Trust me I have tried using every excuse I possibly can.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hmm maybe you should take up pottery, sculpting or painting? African Druming? Belly dancing? Yoga? Just as long as after a few years of 'belly dancing' classes, they dont ask you to show off your skills. lol xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
So , sexy arse, we are guessing that you wont be hosting for a while?
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SexyArse
15 years ago
lick44 - nooooooooooooooooooooooo to hosting atm - hahaMrandMrsH - got a job now - woo hoo. Unfortunately now too tired to play but here comes the weekend - wooooooooooo hooo
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