M49 F42

My transformation and journey to this site and forums. From confused to happy and sexually confident these forums helped me

December 14 2013

My sex life until last year was very boring and not enjoyable. Interference when I was little started things off then doing what was expected was the norm. Until last year I only had sex when I was drunk or really had too which is already saying that I didn't enjoy it. I did talk during my early counselling years then never spoke of my problems again. Sex was always with selfish males who didn't care about my pleasure so I went through life being a starfish or faking it if I needed to. All that changed when 7 years ago I started dating an older a wiser man. He scared me with his knowledge, experience and longevity in the sack. I was able to fake and fool for a few months but then I fell pregnant. Life went from ok to worse over the next two years while he blamed himself for my lack of pleasure and interest making him in the end find someone that he could please. We split up and as a single mum I quickly grew up. My sex life was almost non existent but I did start using a vibrator on myself. At this stage I had never had an orgasm but was starting to feel the pleasure and was a bit scared of the orgasm so held myself back. For a year I persisted playing with myself but still could not reach climax. My ex broke up with the girl he had left me for and we slowly started to connect again. After 2 months we fell back in the sack together and both me and him were shocked at my slight change. Him being mid 30's at this point and not so selfish realised that there was more going on with me than anyone knew. For the next two years he was so patient and understanding, he got me to open up emotionally and then slowly introduced me to a proper sex life (oral was a huge issue due to me getting flash backs from my molestation). I have finally had an orgasm, love giving oral and am almost over freaking out with receiving oral. What we both didn't count on was my overload of Fantasies coming about. I am all about the girl on girl or the threesome or watching my man bang another women. Only one Man (my wonderful partner) has ever made me hot and I don't find sleeping with another man exciting (I think I would prefer going to the dentist) so without him I think I would be a lesbian. Voicing my fantasies was slow work as I thought I was a freak, but as the visions in my head kept playing I narrated to him one fantasy after another. From working out my issues i have had an overload of sexual curosity (things we are supposed to come across over years of experience has hit me at once and the sexual world I can see has me like a 6 year old on Christmas Day) While we have worked so hard on me it is time to start on him. My overload of fantasies has pointed out his absolute lack of any. He claims that the usual ffm and watching me in girl on girl is all but with my narrations of my fantasies he is starting to picture and imagine things. 6 months ago he might have not thought twice about bondage or domination etc but now he would like to try it. I thought at first he was just going along with my extremes but soon realised that with the freedom to actually think of things without worrying about the females reaction he found plenty of things he wants to try. The last 6 months have been a pleasure finding out and even acting out fantasies. My favourite is with me on top getting him to pretend that I am a stranger we brought home (I am in a chair watching and masturbating) and he can do whatever he likes with this girl. Pretending it's someone else allows him to do the things that he thought were too degrading for a loving couple. I am still the one to set the mood and start narration but he soon takes over. For those that are still reading an open mind and trustworthy relationship can make such a difference. We are not swingers but use that as a fantasy sometimes, so these forums are so helpful to me to realise I'm not strange and my friends are probably just very strong vanillas. I can see why swinging saves so many couples because you are more open honest and connected with each other and more parts of yourself are revealed. We'll done to everyone who follows their desires

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wingman2014

12 years ago

More power too you both. Great that you can find a way to overcome barriers that can easily destroy someone's life . I hope your journey of self discovery is all that you want it to be . - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

Caught the tail end only of your post. Yes, it is wonderful desires are met. It's also wonderful you are with a man you is able to show you what a fulfilling sex life contains. Sky is the limit now ;) Mrs Funky

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RHP User

12 years ago

Im glad you found your way and now enjoying the joys sex can really provide. I wish you guys all the very best with what ever comes your way... Cheers Jay

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RHP User

12 years ago

This is THE BEST thing I've read in ages! I am so happy for the both of you as you explore each other in an environment of trust and freedom. Kudos to you for persisting through your fears and learning to love yourself and your body. It is truly a liberating feeling when you let go of your past and own your sexuality. YOU ARE A VERY BRAVE AND VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN! Your man's patience is lovely. From his perspective, to see you embrace your sexual experiences together must also be liberating for him.I'm just so happy for both of you I could just get my pom poms out.

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RHP User

12 years ago

Merry Christmas & happy new year Couplewantextra. I hope 2014 brings you lots of adventures and that you both grow in strength. Mwah xx

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RHP User

12 years ago

to the wonderful world of sex and intimacy and ofcourse fantasy. What a great and inspirational story you have shared with us. Wishing you both continued fulfilment on your journey of discovery and pleasure. HugsSFxx

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RHP User

12 years ago

Congratulations on being able to control your life and your sexual destiny... To have taken charge and to now steer your life in the direction of your choosing is a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing. Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...

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RHP User

12 years ago

And I hope you are shouting at least parts of it from the rooftops as there are many women in exactly the same situation. You could just be the inspiration for someone else to change their life. Best wishes and enjoy the journey. (Oh and kudos to your partner too!) - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

Thanks for sharing!.There are surely others out there who feel hopeless and I hope your story gives hope and inspiration to them. You may have given some readers a big Christmas present!.

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RHP User

12 years ago

Hey couplewantextra. I love a good news story, and much kudos to you for taking on a difficult but ultimately rewarding personal journey! Welcome to the forums and look forward to hearing more from you. 😊

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RHP User

12 years ago

Like others have said, for posting such an inspirational account of your battles, demons, exorcist and acceptance of your mind and body. Your self discovery I hope has shown you how strong and beautiful you are! May this positive understanding of yourself be forever with you. Not forgetting your partner, thank you for being someone who looked deeper than the 'fuck' and saw someone worthwhile!

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RHP User

12 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I went from an abusive (sexual, physical and psychological) childhood straight into a loving and caring relationship, which in itself was confusing. Love and intimacy were foreign to me, and I didnt have the foundations to build a solid relationship, had my partnet not seen things for himself I don't think he would have been so patient and understanding. Despite my childhood experiences I have always enjoyed sex, I love him and trust him, and he never took advantage however I was wrought with guilt that I indulged in something so enjoyable. It took a while to realise that it is actually ok to enjoy yourself. RHP had been a wonderous world, it has opened my eyes, challenging and expanding my sexual views, ideas and fantasies. I am yet to jump in the saddle and explore those fantasies, however, your post has given me reassurance that despite our hardships we can take the leap and enjoy the ride. Thanks again. AJ x

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RHP User

12 years ago

A reminder once again that being in a world (even relationship) without judgment opens up hearts and minds and allows people to be themselves. - Posted from rhpmobile

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My transformation and journey to this site and forums. From confused to happy and sexually confident these forums helped me

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