F108
No Grumpy Cats Allowed
May 05 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
I shall tell you a story about when I was working in the jails.I am in a classroom, its small and I am squished in with about 15 prisoners. I am giving a little talk on sexual harassment in the work place ( you have to remember some of these guy shave been banged up for years in jail) Any way, I tell them to talk about neutral topics , like the weather, that kinda thing and if you have to move a woman around as in get past her, just touch her on the elbow. So this guy puts his hand up and says , Miss Miss I have a good weather question. I say go ahead. He looks down at my Y and says, is it wet down there? I have 15 sets of eyes now looking down at my Y I say no honey, its like Arizona its dry and hardly anyone goes there. the whole class cracked up. from that day on he was known as the weather man. I as known as that fucking funny lady
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm a dog person.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just wonder where the association between a cat cat and a woman's cat comes from? Is it cause men do it like a doggy? Nah, dogs don't fuck cats in real life..... Or? Hmmmmmm..... ??? - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
12 years ago
Is a big sooky la la - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
three dogs,two are bitches,two chooks and a human at the bottom of the garden.There is a cat next door but he is rarely outside....there are possums often on the roof,parrots ,kookas and my friends the crows.... At least I will never be a mad cat lady....:-) :-) xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
the mad menagerie lady...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Oooohhh, I can't lay claim to the possum, but the rest of our surroundings sound very similar Q... without the magnificent views of your little slice of paradise that you've described on one of my threads mind you. Our cat is something else Ruby. One of our dogs has been wearing a bucket/elizabethan collar since an op last week and for the first few days the cat would turn into a total fluffball at the sight or sound of him and start bouncing around like a toey prize fighter, and if he had the chance have a go at him lol. He never got close enough to do any damage! Peachy
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MissBishere
12 years ago
And have a family of possums that have races up and down my roof at night... They race...the dog barks... The kids giggle hysterically... It's a bloody nut house I tell ya. And now it sounds like one has found it's way into the ceiling... FML...lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Loved on one side of the ditch hated on the other...Magpies too...life has its little mysteries.
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
AMEN!! I just love seeing a row of "my family cat" stickers on the back of vehicles, I always wonder, if they have ever visit the sandpit?? Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
I always wonder, if they have ever visit the sandpit?? SHOULD READ....I always wonder, if they HAVE ever visited the sandpit? Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
My dog eats prowlers I think he must have eaten the lot as we never have anyone around anymore and people don't visit except da cougar bitch and she turns that dog into a bloody baby
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' I always wonder, if they have ever visit the sandpit?? SHOULD READ....I always wonder, if they HAVE ever visited the sandpit? Foxy We keep a lid on our sandpit! Peachy
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RHP User
12 years ago
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock-market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen. “Pretty much the way you do,” responds the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick. I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen. “Why?” he asks, “What’s the matter?” “Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!” “No problem,” he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long. “Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow…” “No problem,” he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman. “Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks “Well, was it any good?” “I hate to say it,” says Maureen, “but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?” “It was horrible,” he replies. “All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.”
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RHP User
12 years ago
Two women friends had gone for a girls night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, but they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home. The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, 'These girls nights out have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!' 'That's nothing,' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her a** that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'!' Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
The goanna that took up residence there wouldn't let them in.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My dog and I are estranged,she fell in love with my housemate:-) if I get another dog,same ,same Is sure,so I am gonna get a cat....anyone got a suggestion for a breed of cuddly cat?xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
Seriously, it is my belief and experience that pure bred cats tend to have health problems. So, I get to pick from 2 cat breeds when picking my perfect cross. HEHE. . It depends though what you want frrom your cat. The Ragdoll is a large cat which has colour points has a docile and placid temperament. It has quite long thick fur though, so I was hoping to find one that had been crossed with a Russian (Blue) in any of their various colors these days. A Russian Blue being a dog like cat with short, dense hair that is intelligent and playful. They develop close bonds with their human companions. We had a Russian Black for a long time. I still miss him. Our current cat is a male slut Burmese cross... who knows with what lol. He's luvable but attitudinal. Fits right in... .
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RHP User
12 years ago
I will check out those breeds.....xxx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love goannas! We used to have a blue tongue lizard in our yard that we called Lemmy. :-D
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RHP User
12 years ago
She plays fetch, goes for walks, loves drives in the car, have trained her not to bite or scratch..... I hate kitty litter, so I toilet trained her, all we've got to do is flush..... If I had her first, I would have debated having children :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Bigmamma1' She plays fetch, goes for walks, loves drives in the car, have trained her not to bite or scratch..... I hate kitty litter, so I toilet trained her, all we've got to do is flush..... If I had her first, I would have debated having children :) They were great just like to kids they would ambush me when I got home from work, always wanted attention and when you didn't give it they made sure you knew .
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was just thinking that very same thing:-) xxQ
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RHP User
12 years ago
Save a cat, I follow lots of pages on fb including our local vet. So may cats, from kittens up, seeking new furever homes. Consider that won't you Q.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just wait till me n my pussy come to stay, there will be ructions!
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RHP User
12 years ago
A female Siamese, left home a year after I had a baby, she was jealous. She adopted an old couple around the corner who spoiled her so much she just left home.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Are definitely the best cats to have. They are loyal, affectionate and just about put up with anything, even babies. My latest cat is Tonkinese and the most spoiled fella I have ever known. Luv ya Calvin.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We have a local shelter which I will go to first,but I want a cat that is happy to be indoors and a pet...have you ever read Archies Life of Mehitabel the Cat?....I think that you would love it....the author is Don Marquise and he wrote it in the twenties or thirties xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
I absolutely understand about wanting a cat that is happy to be indoors and be a pet, that was my exact desire too, but I settled to help out a friend (one who proved to be undeserving but the cat is). Stick to your guns, our Kuda Kitty is beautiful and coming around but, he has his moments and an indoor cat he doesn't like to be! I'll look into mehitabel more too! Thanks heaps!!! . For those not in the know, mehitabel, sometimes thought an alley cat, is a beautious reincarnation of the goddess Queen Cleopatra;archy is a beetle– more specifically errrr… a cockroach. He types by jumping on the keys of Don Marquis' typewriter one at a time. He cannot also do the CAPS lock, so the writing is devoid of capital letters and the full range of punctuation. . I commented about pure breeds earlier in the thread RunAway because of my experience with our Black Russian, Shahka in particular who had many health issues and was very unhealthy in the 16 years he lived. I still miss him though, he was very dependent on me and I miss his devotion terribly.
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RHP User
11 years ago
When Germaine Greer met Frank Zappa... I met Frank Zappa in 1973, I think it must have been, over breakfast in Hernando's Hideaway, the coffee shop of the Beverly Wilshire hotel, where he and his wife Gail were staying while their house in Laurel Canyon was redecorated. Their attention was drawn to me because of the staccato rustling of the rice-paper of my airmail copy of the Times, and the deep sighs I kept heaving. They asked me what was on my mind, that I sighed so often and so deeply. "My boyfriend in Detroit has just told me that he's got pubic lice. He thinks I gave them to him. I'm worried that the bastard has given them to me." "Not a problem," said Frank. His black Rolls-Royce with tinted windows was waiting in the hotel driveway; in no time we were at Schwob's drugstore, and Frank was yelling over the heads of the would-be Lana Turners twirling on the stools at the counter: "Blue lotion, please, blue lotion for the crabs." The words rang out like a triumphant fanfare...... lol Cheers Ruby :) There is more to this article if you want to read the rest go to The Guardian - Music - article title Frank Zappa's Treasure House from Apr 14, 2005 - Gail Zappa has a hoard of music that could fill a hundred albums - and she hopes to release it, bit by bit, writes Germaine Greer.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Many years ago my ex myself and my son who was a toddler, spent some time at the ex's uncles holiday house at Cape Patterson. One day I was fishing at the beach, I hooked Leatherjacket fish ( I still remember the lovely blue and green colours of the fish ) I was so excited that instead of reeling the fish in I started to run to drag it out of the water, as I didn't wan't to loose my catch of the day. LOL it was a funny sight and the ex and I were in hysterics.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I love my grumpy cat, the one I mention in this thread. We got him from a fellow RHPer who got him on the day of our Grandie's birthday. She had her birthday on the same day as him and was invited to join our small group for lunch that day. Not much later, she asked if we'd look after him during a house inspection. Next thing you know, she was hoping we would keep him because he was a bit of a problem (she got a new cat not long after). He was a problem alright, dunno what his problem was but it took a while to to settle a balance in the home. All these years later, he loves the Mr (makes me jealous, lol but must take a video <3), and I can't have another cat because he is territorial, but he cuddles up to me in between times. I wish people would give more love to the pets they take on, the first people who kept him till he was 9 months old (still un neutered) and the woman who bought him and passed him on, like we have and will continue to do... though I can tell you we questioned it a LOT over the years! The scars were horrendous as we got to know each other. That is something I will never regret now though. How awesome is it to love a creature that strikes out because he doesn't know better and then have him loving you like you were his only ever family. That's a big thing, and I know it! Peachy, countdown
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RHP User
8 years ago
“You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.” ― A.A. Milne
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RHP User
8 years ago
“I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me.” ― Tallulah Bankhead
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RHP User
8 years ago
My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.” Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap. After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked, with a touch of awe, “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?” Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my pickle.”Cindy Yates, Mill Valley, California
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RHP User
8 years ago
As a Speech therapist, I was working with a preschooler on body-part identification and the k sound. To that end, I had him use Play-Doh to make a sculpture of me.“Is that my neck?” I asked, trying to get him to repeat the word.“No, that’s your chin,” he said.He added more Play-Doh. “Is that my neck?” I asked.“No, that’s your other chin.” Ilene Smith, Milan, Michigan
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RHP User
8 years ago
During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had “artistic” abilities. Having been an architectural draftsman in civilian life, I raised my hand. Then the sergeant announced that everyone would get a three-day pass … except me. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldier’s name onto his Army-issued underwear. Steven Silver, Scarsdale, New York
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RHP User
8 years ago
Have yourself a meowry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on all doggies will be out of sight. Have yourself a meowry little Christmas Eat catnip till you sway From now on all doggies will be miles away. Montana BlueMeowry Little Christmas - Here we are as in olden days Fluffy golden days of fur, Faithful kitties quite dear to us Gather near to us and purr Through the years we all will be together If the fates allow Hang a shining star - watch us rip it from the bough And have yourself a meowry little Christmas now
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RHP User
8 years ago
Montana Blue Meowry Little Christmas - Have yourself a meowry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on all doggies will be out of sight. Have yourself a meowry little Christmas Eat catnip till you sway From now on all doggies will be miles away. Here we are as in olden days Fluffy golden days of fur, Faithful kitties quite dear to us Gather near to us and purr Through the years we all will be together If the fates allow Hang a shining star - watch us rip it from the bough And have yourself a meowry little Christmas now
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RHP User
8 years ago
twists and turns the unexpected ones can leave us feeling lost for a while. I grew up with so much dysfunction and still see and read things that are dysfuntional. It make me feel both saddened and frustrated to realise nothing much has changed.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Not much has much hope of changing unless some form of revolution comes along. But all we can do is do our best for ourselves, others and nature as solitary beings. I know how hard it can be too but lucky enough to have a mother who would put things in perspective for me. Posted this on one of the quotes threads but it is so appropriate for this comment. "Small thieves lie in towers fastened to wooden blocks; big ones strut about in gold and silver" by Cato the censor, c. 200 BCE
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RHP User
8 years ago
Through unforseen concequences I wish I had never become an unwitting particapant in other peoples problematic behaviours. I was left feeling confused, overwhelmed and exausted. It would have been so wise to have withdrawn myself from the beginnig --- if only I had been aware at the time. Lesson -- Being mindful if there is a next time.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I've been rehearsing my soap opera look to the camera I'm getting much better each time. Just LOL LOL
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RHP User
8 years ago
Pedestals might be good chopped up for fire wood.Might be a good time to do that since it will be getting much cooler before we know it, and our fur babies would loveto be by the fireplace all snuggled and warm. awwwwwwwwwwwww
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RHP User
8 years ago
So many warm fuzzies Awwwwwwwww
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RHP User
8 years ago
Love feeling warm fuzzies. I first heard those words years ago.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Those words to mean. . Warm fuzzies.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I am pretty sure that was an eighties thing and it was meant to be uplifting thoughts to others
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RHP User
8 years ago
Are so 1980's, now it's mostly Warm Smoothies 😈
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Rubyt25
8 years ago
We found seven smoothie recipes that'll keep you warm and well-fed until spring comes:Gingerbread Breakfast Smoothie.Oaty Mocha Hot Smoothie. ...Warm Ginger Pear Smoothie. ...Cranberry and Apple Hot Smoothie. ...Hot Chocolate Breakfast Smoothie. ...Hot Cinnamon Apple Smoothie. ...Warm Chai Tea Smoothie. via Simple Green Smoothies. ... Quoting 'MrMojoRisin' Are so 1980's, now it's mostly Warm Smoothies 😈
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Rubyt25
8 years ago
Image --- A toilet salesman and potential buyer Caption.This model for example has a built-in Internet connection and will post.texture and weight of your shit automaticly on Facebook and Twitter.
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Rubyt25
8 years ago
image - A man laying on his back naked on a beach wearing a police style cap and a shoe covering his dick. caption - Dave's mum had taught him from an early age. to always hide his valuables in his shoe while on the beach.
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Rubyt25
8 years ago
Student writing on blackboard -- I will not light farts in class x 100 Teacher - Sitting at her desk with very little hair left.
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Rubyt25
6 years ago
Tardar Sauce died at her home in Morristown, Arizona in the arms of her owner Tabatha on May 14, 2019. 💜 RIP Grumpy Cat 💙
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