M41
No replies to messages?
November 29 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am really sorry you have had this experience K. I know myself, I have on some occasion, not responded to msg's - usually the type that are of one line and are basically... 'hi' you wanna fuck'. It is pretty rough form though, I agree and I am sure that without the ambiguity of the net, in a real life 'social' situation, you would not have to endure 'being ignored'. I hope you do have some success soon K - you sound like a nice guy and your comments valid. Common courtesy should never go astray and social values should exist, no matter what the circumstance.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Firstly, come up with a decent handle, not meaning to be rude or mean, but that one you have atm looks as though you sneezed on your keyboard then hit enter. Use it like a profile pic, put some thought into it. Entice the reader to want to know more, don't just assume your messages or pics will do that. Secondly, if you only have 5 messages, surely, if you aren't getting a response with the first message, why send 4 more ? Send 1, wait a few days, as has been said a fair few times, some woman on here like to think about it before they reply. If after a few days, you still have no reply, don't waste more, they're obviously not interested. As has also been stated a million times before, the woman to men ratio here is way further their favour, they can be pick and choose.Lastly, some do reply, some don't. Take it on the chin, as in life, you win some, you lose some, don't take it to heart.Best of luck, hope that helps some
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RHP User
14 years ago
I would say leave the PG closed until they at least reply ... get a conversation going .. gain there interest there first .. not everyone has the same education, manors or etiquette, and I would hate to say it .. but sometimes when I read posts like this, it makes me ashamed to be part of the female population .. YES the numbers are in the ladies favor .. but that is NO excuse for rudeness and to ignore someone .. its like getting stood up .. it just gives people the wrong impression and a poor name .. A lot can be said for misinterpretation the written word tho ... is it that you ONLY GET THE 5 MESSAGES per day bit ..... that you were reflecting on ... or as INSOMNIAN infers .. you are using all those precious 5 messages on just one person who is not responding ..ONE LADY = ONE MESSAGE .. FIVE MESSAGES = FIVE LADIES
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RHP User
14 years ago
Should look at the females on here and check all their reply rates...If the female does not reply to even 80% of messages then they should be charged money for being on here or their profile should be removed completely! I am so sick of girls in the chat rooms putting down guys who dare ask them to meet up! The fact that RHP has put in a "Quick Reply" option in to messages and that we can make up our own Templates to reply with is no excuse not to answer any messages! Even if they are completely NOT what I am looking for...I reply to them all! I think it is a completely ego thing they have going, as noone would look at them in real life! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
To the girls who clearly understood what I meant, thank you. It's good to know that you think the same re: "just wanting to get their jollies off". To Insomnian - Your "points" have little to no weight behind them, in my opinion. The whole username thing is hilariously funny - Seriously? Now its my turn to say, "not to be rude" - But as I mentioned in my original post, every person I message I introduce myself. There is no need to have some mystic name as a handle. They know me by my real name. Having a handle that I login with means absolutely nothing and if girls are turning me down because they think I sneezed on my keyboard - let them! Haha. As for the amount of messages - I think you've misconstrued my meaning here. I send ONE message per person. Never two. Unless I receive a reply. Why would I bug someone who clearly wasn't interested in the first place? Lastly, I do "take it on the chin" as it were - again, like I said in my original post, I'm not upset about this, I am truly curious to the people who do it and why - as the profiles that do are typically the same. No validations, no verifications, usually guests and usually with one photo. It just makes you wonder if they are here to simply get their jollies off or what. It's funny, not insulting. And this rarely happens, as I said in my original post. Maybe 1 out of every 10 people I've messaged on here hasn't replied. I wasn't looking for a solution (Or pointers haha) on how to improve my return rate. I'm truly curious as to how and why these people think they are contributing to society or this site and why they are even on here to begin with.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have the same happen to me.I send messages and at leased 50+ % never reply.But I don't send 5 to the same member in the row.I even mention in my message to reply with just a yes or no so I can put this member into the no with capital N file.It may be that some of the ladies get so many messages that they just don't have the time to reply to every one.I say never mind there is plenty of fish in the sea.The one who do reply with a no thank you always get a thank you from me.Just good manners I think.Det
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Reply rates, so how do you check someone's reply rate. I've scanned profiles, looked through advanced search but I don't see any reply statistics. What am I doing wrong?Interestingly, I'm wondering Funloving... do you reply to guys if they don't quote "bejeezus", an option more women should use.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I just assumed it was because I was too old/willy too small/dont have tatts and a harley etc.Seriously though. I would be happy with a quick reply. I always thank people for sending a reply even if it's a rejection, because too few bother. Note to administrators. I probably won't renew because of this. My real world dating is working out much better than my virtual world.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ladies on adult dating sites have different reasons for not replying. A lot of women receive a large number of messages a day and it is physically impossible for them to reply to all of them. In other posts with a similar topic, women have stated that they no longer reply to men who they don't want to meet because they are sick and tired of the abusive messages that they receive. Some men are just plain idiots. Lastly, just because men seem to think that a woman may tick all the boxes when they view her profile and send a message, it does not mean that a man will tick all the boxes for a woman, hence the no reply. We can discuss this forever and offer advice and possible solutions, but at the end of the day nothing is going to change. The best thing to do is build a bridge and get over it and move on.
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RHP User
14 years ago
what xFunlovingx said. Period.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'CHRISJM' . A lot of women receive a large number of messages a day and it is physically impossible for them to reply to all of them.It is more laziness and ignorance ... it is not PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to say .. "thanks but no thanks" -they are on the net at some stage ... just click and set up the auto reply if cannot type 4 words ... ---- as previously said .. sometimes I wish I wasnt part of the femail brigade because this lazy behaviour of rudeness .. gives us all a bad name . ... YEs I get numerous messages .. Yes I work a full time job often doing a 12 hr shift each day .. then come home to manage a house as a single parent .. plus I have a volunteer job as a court advocate ..and other social aspects ... YET I manage to reply to all messages and flirts ... ITS only Manners
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RHP User
14 years ago
... this topic pops up, I'm reminded again to try harder to reply to all messages. I'm not sure using the blanket "I find time to reply to everything, therefore everyone else should too" argument is really valid. Other people might prioritize their life differently and really ... is that wrong? Why is your opinion on how they should spend their personal time even remotely valid?When I reply to a message with my "thanks but not thanks" template I cringe and await the fall out. Men on here can be at best unnecessarily persistent - or downright cruel. Some of the abuse I've copped for no other reason other than not feeling obliged to sleep with everyone who messages me is just disgusting. When I send messages to men and they don't answer I just assume that means no thanks and move on, personally.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I thought well and hard about upgrading from guest to Platinum, anyway, I took the plunge. That was at the start of the week. I have send plenty of messages (Not Flirts) to ladies who I think I am compatible with so far, and the reply rate so far has been terrible!!. Its either they are just too lazy to respond to the messages or I am just to damn ugly, either or, I won't be continuing my membership when the times comes for renewal, faith has fast disappeared for this black duck.
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RHP User
14 years ago
we answer maybe 40% of the messages we receive...and thats mainly because the other 60 percent havent read our profile. that still means tho that we answer a dozen or more messages each day, in addition to those we receive while we are online. some days its maddening...from thursday to sunday the phone hardly stops with messages, and our email inbox is flooded with mail from RHP saying we have messages on-site. we have 300 friend requests we havent even looked at (deleted many many more) and still, we receive nasty messages from a melbourne couple, because we somehow deleted rather than rushed to answer their mail (is melbourne now local to bris?) and other abusive rants from people we chose to either ignore, or reject.....all this is while we are getting up at 245am and working 12 hour days or nights, while being full time parents to teenagers, caring for elderly parents and dealing with a number of age-related health issues...we all have lives, that dont revolve around either sex, or RHP, and we'll either get back to you......or not... its not at all about laziness....why should any of us answer messages/flirts from people who are obviously and sometimes substantially outside of what we seek?....theyre wasting our time as it is...... some of the ladies here must experience similar, especially if they are full time parents......this 'play' waits until every other aspect of our lives has reached some resolution.....that includes...babysitters/welfare of kids/day of the week/time of month/finances/obligations/work.............etc etc etc...... single guys have it easy....they often have no responsibilities/obligations etc and can come and go as they please, and socialise as often as they desire...shame its not the same for the rest of us...... patience would be the best thing that you could bring to this 'game' we play... .... as a single guy, the competition you face is very steep indeed, and its those who are willing to wait it out and be patient and understanding, who will see an outcome......... and get to meet/play etc......
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Balllard' Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Reply rates, so how do you check someone's reply rate. I've scanned profiles, looked through advanced search but I don't see any reply statistics. What am I doing wrong? Interestingly, I'm wondering Funloving... do you reply to guys if they don't quote "bejeezus", an option more women should use. You can see your own reply rate on your profile! And yes, I do reply if they don't quote "bejeezus"....If a guy is spending money and time on sending me a message then he does deserve a reply. As for women not having time to answer these messages...pffftttt.....boloney...It might take me a week or two to get back to people....but I tend to sit down with a cuppa and go through as many as I can and if the messages get overwhelming...I set my profile to invisible for a while till I do get back to everyone! No excuses to not reply! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Its all a question of basic manners, like when you send a flirt and the response is:"The short answer is NO and the long answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Having said that, it pays to have the basic common sense to READ a profile before flirting or messaging. Most of the messages I receive indicate quite clarly tha the people have not gone past the photo.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Quoting 'Balllard' Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Reply rates, so how do you check someone's reply rate. I've scanned profiles, looked through advanced search but I don't see any reply statistics. What am I doing wrong? Interestingly, I'm wondering Funloving... do you reply to guys if they don't quote "bejeezus", an option more women should use. You can see your own reply rate on your profile! And yes, I do reply if they don't quote "bejeezus"....If a guy is spending money and time on sending me a message then he does deserve a reply. As for women not having time to answer these messages...pffftttt.....boloney...It might take me a week or two to get back to people....but I tend to sit down with a cuppa and go through as many as I can and if the messages get overwhelming...I set my profile to invisible for a while till I do get back to everyone! No excuses to not reply!absolutely agree.I have had my share of the rude and persistent ones .. thats where the BLOCK button comes in ...
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RHP User
14 years ago
It seems I am a good girl after all, I never realised you can check your % or reply rate so thanks mine is 142% and I used to get a hell of a lot of msgs. Like Funloving sometimes it took me a while to get back to some but I got there. I do also respond to quite a few flirts, but mostly if im receiving them from the same person, and I don't want them to waste their time.
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RHP User
14 years ago
For the past couple of weeks I have been studying hard for exams while working full-time and dealing with general life stress and a very sick animal. so I do the right thing and put on my profile that I am not replying to people's messages, dont contact me as i am studying etc....still I get bombarded with messages, so I use a template to say thanks but no thanks, nice and politely and I get back a mouthful of abuse!! What can you do - that experience has really shit me off. Its my choice to reply to a message or not. I am under no obligation whatsoever to reply to any messages. I dont consider it rude not to reply, if you dont hear from someone move on until you click. its just like sending out resumes to potential employers - if you dont hear back they are not interested - simple. ...or fishing - you throw your bait into the water time and time again without a bite and go back to the same spot. then you try something different and bam! - you hook a big fish and all that patience was worth it!. you know it also works both way too - I send messages to guys but dont hear back at all. but I dont throw a tantrum if they dont... If sending messages on RHP is too restrictive, use another site that is free..sheesh Like Chisjm says - I get far more satisfaction from attending parties then 1 on 1 meets even though I have met some awesome guys for coffee and lunch (you all know who you are...mmm.)...and sometimes more. I come onto RHP to read the stories and do my own thing, not cop abuse from guys...
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RHP User
14 years ago
We all learn. :) Then if you read a profile.......... some make it really obvious that some folks just don't get it.... DGT love your wording. what a crack up. but there is the flip side where obviously others haven't understood...
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wannabyummymummy
14 years ago
Yep it's been done to death but you know what? who cares? it really is an unfair reality, I have said it before and i will say it again i dont care how busy you are and how many messages you get a template reply if you are not interested is all that is required it is not that hard.I really like xfunlovingx's suggestion about the reply rate and charging those who dont reply.If you are doing messages the way you say then it really is the hight of rudeness for someone not to at least give you a 'no thanks' sadly there are a few guys who spoil it for everyone with thier shabby one liners to every girl with a pulse and also the nasty replies if rejected but at the end of the day ladies let's not put all men on here in that basket, give every guy the benifit of the doubt and reply if he gets narky, report and block him and move on end of story.To answer your original question though alskfjgh i think that yes, a large number of the girls on here are on here for the thrill of seeing how much attention they can get and really have little or no intention of seeing any of through, it is great for the ego to get a lovely message from an attractive guy and to know that you are desirable to someone but some let it go to thier heads!!Just keep on keeping on, dont get bitter about the lack of replies and hang in there statitics say that eventually you will get a reply in the positive and then the fun can really begin Good luck,WBYM
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RHP User
14 years ago
You are busy and don't have time to meet anyone new...why don't you just set your profile to invisible? This way you can still do all the things you want to on the Site (eg: Read/Post to Forums, Send Messages and even go to the Chat Rooms)! I had a period not long back where there was too much going on in my life and I set my profile to invisible...there were no messages (except maybe the odd one or two from people I am already messaging with) and as I said, you can still use all the features on here! . I rarely get an abusive message when I reject guys, actually, most write back to thank me for my reply and they wish me luck! In the years that I have been on here...I can honestly count on one hand how many abusive messages I have recieved! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can accept the lack of replies. I do understand that you girls can get flooded with messages. Congratulations and good luck. However, I do get peeved when I look at my "Sent' box and see messages, sent to people that are looking for someone like me, that have never been read even though the person I am sending them to has been on a dozen times since. To all those that make an effort to reply, even if it is a "No thank you". *BIG HUG OF THANKS*
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RHP User
14 years ago
Skillfultongue I actually get them messaging me now, asking for the kick up the ass Some little shits are just sick of living I swear haha
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RHP User
14 years ago
To the girls who get abused for simply saying no ... What the frack?! Some guys have no dignity, I swear. For the girls who've been abused, I can understand you not replying. That is definitely a bit effed up. Can't you report them for this and stop them from messaging anyone else with the same bullshit? That ain't on, in my opinion. But anyway. Cheers to all the girls who've replied and understand it all. Good to know!
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RHP User
13 years ago
i send messages and wait for the reply , most never come and so i move on, not once have i ever sent a "F*** Y**" message because of no replay and i keep reading that's what men do in here.i would love for even a simple two letter "no" as a answer, it is why better than nothing at all
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