RHP

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F72

Non,je regrette rien..Edith Piaf

July 23 2016

Edith Piaf sang that she had no regrets in life..and it is often said it is better to regret the things that you have done than the things that you didn't do. Have you taken the path well travelled,taken some risks along the way or has your journey been a well worn path? Is there anything in hindsite that you would choose to do differently now ? Q

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Q, that's one of the French songs I absolutely love but I hate to point out to you that the proper title should've been, "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien". It's just a French grammaire technicality. I haven't taken the path well-travelled and on several occasions, have forged my own path, wandering out of the straight and narrow. "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" is a saying that comes to mind! I straddle between being painfully compliant and then suddenly, Shazam!!!, out of the blue, I'll go do something astronomically unconventional, just 'cuz. On hindsight, yes... lots of things I would've done differently. For instance, I would've chosen a career that would bring in the money instead of embarking on a career that places an emphasis on altruism but remunerates poorly and wrecked my health in the process. It would have been nice to be able to retire early and comfortably. I would've disregarded my tiger parents' influences regarding my career choices and school choices. I should've left bad relationships much sooner and taken care of myself first before others. Grandma and Mum warned me that I was too "soft-hearted" and always gave people who didn't deserve it priority. I should've listened and learnt. I should've sought medical treatment at the first sign that something was "not right" instead of soldiering on for a good two decades or more before finally seeking a diagnosis. Foolish stoicism. I should've embraced my natural propensity as a flaneuse earlier. "Flaneur" is a beautiful French word. "Je suis en flaneuse! Enchantee de faire votre connaissance!" I should never have ceased my French lessons. However, my long, arduous journey of many wrong turns has made me who I am today. In my own brave, courageous way, I have blazed my own trail. My choices and decisions do not make sense sometimes, but it is what it is. Hindsight is always 20/20 perfect vision. Too many times, I couldn't see the forest for the trees. But oh well, regret is a 3rd degree burn that almost kills you sometimes, but you heal from it ... with scars that hang around forever. You just learn to be selectively blind and not focus too obsessively on the scars. Afterall, c'est la vie!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I've taken a lot of risks. The only thing I'd change is the times I didn't take risks. Obviously doing this, throwing caution to the wind, meeting and having sex with complete strangers, that's a risk worth taking but I used to be frightened to swim in the ocean because of sharks, and didn't want my family in there either. Not that we never swam at the beach, but I'd keep them in the shallow parts. Now I freely swim in the ocean, go out deep, in under those huge waves, scared for my life sometimes, but I love it and figure if a shark takes me, I'm happy, up until that moment of course lol just hope he doesn't stop to chew his food Much more. For me it was like a light switch, like someone flicked a switch and everything changed for me. I don't fear anything now Actually one thing but private

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."Up until very recently, I have almost always done what was expected of me. I followed the well worn path, and was agreeable, and I pushed down any desire of my own to step out of my comfort zone and take a risk. About three years ago, a meeting for coffee with a friend led to a chain of events that forced me out of my malaise, and made me reevaluate what I was accepting in my life. Since then, my life has gone through some pretty massive changes. I've separated. I've changed careers, if only tangentially. I've given myself permission to explore my own interests. I've fallen in love. And I've discovered that I can do the scary things. I can rely on myself. I can be vulnerable with people who are worthy of that trust. And I can explore the paths that always fascinated and terrified me. I can.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I have always been strong and independent but definitely travelled the road that was expected by others, as a child had some fairly big family issues that were often the gossip of people around us so wanted to blend in and not be the focus. I had fun and enjoyed myself but never pushed outside the box. I am now realising that these days nobody really cares what I do (within reason) so I'm starting to step out and do what I want, not what I think others expect. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Plenty of regrets, plenty and as much as I love Edith and this song, I disagree. I regret, not saying sorry, for not saying I love you, not chasing one onto a airplane, not saying what I really felt, for selling a house I loved, for saying its ok, when it wasn't, for saying sure I'm so happy for you, when happy was the last emotion I was feeling. My list is long...........................................LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG But I think its ok to have regrets, because if you self examine you can learn from your regrets and hopefully not repeat them I'm Ok with saying I love you now and No, I didn't come

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    and paying for a wild youth

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Your story makes my heart happy.I absolutely loathe how women in our culture are socialised to always "do the right thing", live our lives in unquestioning ways,afraid of what others will think. What you have done is obviously been difficult but liberating too.Its set you on the path of the authentic you .Hugs 😘Q

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Thank you. xoxo - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Well said. Q, it is not only Women that are expected to take the "right" path. I did everything society expected of me, started part time work at 12, saved my $ for stuff I wanted, my folks had no $ at the time, Finished yr10, got an apprenticeship as a Diesel Mechanic, same as my father & bro's. Brought a good car, paid that off in 12mths, meet my Ex when I was 19, , brought a house at 23, worked my arse off paying it off & renovating by the time I was 30 with little financial help from her. My Ex fell pregnant accidently on purpose when I was 32, I didn't want children, we'd bought bush block & I was enjoying life for the 1st time ever, I had money & a place to go on W/ends. I stayed, supported her thru 7yrs off work, illness, operations, her mothers illness, my "dream block" had to be sold. Our relationship was doomed by my Son's 5th B/day, but I put up with things till he was 16, but could take no more of being a "money machine". She moved out 9mths later of her own accord. Then came the court battle, I lost 95% of my friends & family to her, via her spreading e-mails & nasty misinformation. I struggled thru that period, just retained my house, my Son & I had a terrible time for 2 1/2yrs, but were "Besties" at the time of his death at Easter this yr. I look back & wonder why I did that to suit everybody else. I helped all those ppl with house reno's, money & anything else they needed. Ppl have short memouries. But that is how things turn out, I guess you just do what you gotta' do and hope it works out. Cheers Paul.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    It depends how many the giraffe needed Mr.Urn ..might be a different tally on Friday..my dogs hate carrots 🐶🐶🐶 Q