Normal life v naughty life

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  lol hi guys i found it hard also so decided to tell the truth. No one believes me i the ppl i went to a swingers party or had meet a couple in a bar & went back to their place & had a 3some & a wild time & everyone say yeah right :) its funny how if you tell the truth no one believes you becouse its so far out of their reality or box like something they wish they could but would never dare to do in reality kermy

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Its a hard one. Especially when you first start & are so excited about this new thing you are doing! Its natural that you want to share this with friends and family. So far we have managed to keep seperate. We just say we are meeting friends...I mean they dont know that Rob & Jane like to have sex with us after dinner.lol. Or that the party we are going to (Thanks for babysitting Mum!) is the Swingers club. We find it very hard to fit it all in though...i mean we are loving it and want to do it every weekend...but it doesnt always work:( You still have work dos & family BBQs & quality family time. For us we have had one wobbly call. At hubbys work Xmas do. I had lots of bubbly...way to much...and although all these people work for the same company as hubby....we are in the country branch...so it was kind of annonymus too. Towards the end of the night talking with one of the other country branches mans new partner...She was listing drunkenly all the reasons why they wouldnt work...one of which was 'I swing the other way' To which i replied "meh! So do I"....she said. "yes I picked up on that!" Which sobered me up for a sec...my comment should never have slipped out...but what did she mean she picked up on that?! So will she tell her partner? Will he tell his work mates...Am thinking no cos he isnt much of a talker. But my biggest worry is that my best mate may have been standing behind or near by or even in the circle of conversation..Did she hear ? Was she drunk enough to not remember? That is what worries me the most. I do not want to make my girly friends uncomfortable! Im learning to temper my natural inclination to share things im excited about with my friends & family. Im sure most of them would be cool with it...But im sure some would not be. Then there are the girls who would be cool on the outside...but always secretly thinking that I was cracking onto them. I dont want to be the one talked about to hubby at the end of a girls nite out "oh youll never guess what hubby....XX cracked onto me tonite" Thats why it is important to me that our flirty friends are people we get on with...So I can flirt & socialise in a swingers setting too. Mrs H xx

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Tell them you booked a hotel if you're staying overnight; tell them you arranged a romantic dinner out; nobody says "can I come too" when it is billed as a romantic night out/getaway. What did you do on the weekend? "not much, did some house work, husband/wife surprised me with dinner out". Easy, and successfully avoids answering "how was your weekend" with "great, fucked some couple we just met, I love double penetration, how was yours?" ;)

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Agree we with Sydneyboy.... Good planning on the excuse front makes it easy. But also make sure you keep the worlds apart. We had one friend who was inviting a guy onto Facebook within minutes of meeting him through RHP..... Silly girl. We find it easy to get away - we both work and have alternate kid weekends. But, romantic nights is a good one! And, if you are like us, having a bit of fun keeps you closer as well. The odd real romantic night might be an idea as well! We 'catch up with friends from out of town'; have 'a business meeting' or are doing some 'gym' work outs..... We even schedule them occasionally in our diaries as such - makes it a bit exciting! One tip we have as a couple is a series of codes or signals that we can give each other as the initial meeting unfolds so both of us are on track. Key words, or a sequence of hand squeezes - keeps us alined and both in synch. Good luck!

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'sydneyboy3au'Tell them you booked a hotel if you're staying overnight; tell them you arranged a romantic dinner out; nobody says "can I come too" when it is billed as a romantic night out/getaway. What did you do on the weekend? "not much, did some house work, husband/wife surprised me with dinner out". Easy, and successfully avoids answering "how was your weekend" with "great, fucked some couple we just met, I love double penetration, how was yours?" ;) Hahaha the amount of times answer 2 goes through my head...but no I just cant do it! lol xx

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  we don't go out of our way to hide what we do. whats the point? we have family members who know, friends and workmates also. do they play? a couple of them do (profiles on this site). do we care? not for a second.lol we engaged in chat with a guy at one stage and it wasn't until we'd swapped nude pics and then face shots that I realized it was my cousin lol. we have posted pictures at sites totally unrelated to this and have been recognized. so what? they our pics, we are husband and wife, and don't care what others think.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Maybe say you have a hobby that no-one could possibly be interested in such as farn arkeling and say you have a lot of meetings to go to. If they ask what it is tell them its a mix of minimalist rugger, geocaching and hot fluid particle exchange engineering.Actually that may sound more interesting than what they are doing for the weekend and they may want to come.Tell them the truth or tell them nothing....Mr. SR

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  An interesting question and one that we have faced, although in our case as time has gone along we have changed our approach somewhat as we became more comfortable with our choices.Initially we were very nervous that people may find out and as such we really almost 'panicked' at times, trying to find people distances away or being very specific in the when/where we would play etc. That is not to say that we were excessively picky or discriminatory, just that we were time restricted and therefore travelled to play.But as time has passed and our comfort level has grown, we now find that we really do not hide what we do, although we are discreet as one needs to be with children and of course any play partners. That said however, we are also at the stage in our lives where our kids are old enough to look after themselves and the family are far away, so in that aspect we are 'free' to do what we please.As for friends, some know, some don't and some of these friends have been made from within the scene itself. Some of these friends have guessed outright by the very nature of our comfort with such things as nude beaches, spending time with people of the opposite sex etc (one female friend asked outright when pillion on the back of Gaz's bike). Others have asked 'are your guys swingers' etc, whilst others have (or would appear to have) absolutely no clue which is fine.When it cam to needing excuses we just used the old 'dirty weekend' line and when people asked what we did on the weekend, as mentioned earlier sometimes the truth was more unbelievable than people would accept. Generally though, we just say that we went to a friends party and had a great time and should the asker push a little we mention naked in a spa, that generally stopped the wowsers - lolFor us, it is a choice we make that does not impact on others and as such we work by the ethos that if it offends them, they have the issue not us.Shell AND gAZWe don't hide what we do

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I started swining when I was 18 y/o as I got invited by my boyfriend of the time. I must admit, when, I was 18, I was going out alot, seeing friends, family, working, trying to juggle it all at once. It was def a challenge to hide it from friends and family about why I couldn't make it on friday night - after work drinks or going to greenwood on thursday nights, etc... To hide things from people is hard! It always will be Honestly, keep lying to them, till you feel comfortable in telling them, some veractiy of what is going on. They need and deserve to know some truth with what is going on, even if it is as simple as telling them, we are going to a couples night, don't have to directly saying swingers night. I think, if you say the word swingers party or sex party you would get much more of a reaction than couples nights As for the " vanilla community"apposed to the "swingers community" there is a taboo around some words such as "swingers" and "sex party". After about, 10 month of me being bi - curious and having my first ever sexual experience with a women. I finally decided to come out and tell my friends, that I had a few nights a month, me and my boyfriend of the time, we seeing a regular girl to keep to spice alive in the relationship. and I told them, I actually enjoyed it. I told them, that I could never see them in a sexual way and only as friends. I didn't care what they think and if they are as pathetic to lose a friendship over something basic like that, then so be it. I did lose a few as I did go to a private christian school which has some pretty strong moral around the gay / lesbian / bi - sexual community. I never did tell, family or work colleagues that I was bi-sexual, but that was a personal decision I made, myself. It has been nearly been 2 years, I have been participating in swinging and it has def been an interesting experience for me. I now have a completly new ideaology on this particular scene. It was def better than I expected it to be, I def would tell my friends and work colleagues about it, if there was no taboo around it. So there is that fear of what will they say which makes me hesitate to telling them. But thats okay, I guess, we shouldn't have the obligation to tell everyone, everything. But should try and at least be truthful and honest with the ones around you! All in All - Wait till you feel comfortable in telling your work, friends and family

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I dont like leading 2 separate lives so i just Put it out there in the open to anyone who asks. The bosslady once asked me what I was up to during the weekend and I told her I was at a sex party, she obviously thought I was joking but then 2 months later I found out she and her hubby were on rhp,

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It not really a seperate life. It is just your life, that others dont have to be apart of. Discreetion??

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Keep it simple people. Its something you enjoy doing, no different from someone who enjoys painting in their personal time. As long as you and your partner find a way to digest it emotionally it really shouldn't be anyones businesses unless you choose to share it with them. No one can judge you for something that is having no impact on them, and if they do judge you, their opinion something be something that doesn't bothers you. Its way too much fun not to take advantage of, and I guarantee you the haters of those who enjoy a little naughtiness are inside wishing they had the balls to have a little fun themselves!

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I definitely like to keep my activities to myself and separate from my 'normal' life but I'm no good at lying so vague-yet-true answers are good Caught up with friends, went out for a drink, had visitors or even just 'oh, this and that, what'd you do?' :D

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  My husband and I have been swinging for a while now and it has taken over social life a bit. We mostly go to swingers events. But of course we still have our muggle friends and of course at these recent holidays we got together with a large group for a music event. It was so weird, to be in this other world and they all drank sooo much. One friend got drunk and keeping grabbing peoples genitals, both men and women, there was no asking or anything. She said she "was not that drunk I just find it really funny, to seeing people jump"We did not see them for new years because we went to a swingers event, so of course small talk turned to "what did you do for new years?"here are a few things some of muggle friends did "nothing...most non-eventful NYE ever""worked and then got drunk with my flatmate" "went to the pub down the road, nothing much really""people came back to mine" **** other friends told us that they got kicked out when an on again/ off again girl friend came over (they would make a great couple but he always end up cheating) Other things I noticed was muggles all seemed to hate their work, maybe it was just our friends but they seemed more racist then swingers, with comments I would never have heard at a swingers eventthey go to a lot of BBQ's they got more drunk then what you would see at swingers event - most people were the level of drunk that the most drunk person I've seen at a swingers event wasfemales on average talked mostly with females, and men with menMy husband and I spend the whole night commenting of differences in the two worlds and most of it was not favourable to the "normal" world.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It can definately be hard to keep our "night life" secret from friends and family especially when we have so much fun and want to brag about the good times :)

  reply

  like