M59

Not So Close Encounters

March 22 2016

Hi Folks! Obi1 here, reporting back as promised regarding my attempt to get back at the aliens who I suspect "probed" me whist unconscious in a paddock outside Cracow. Unfortunately there is disappointingly little to tell you about my experience on Sunday night. I went out to the same paddock with my "space egg" as planned, and assumed the position over the log with my pants down in order to attract the alien's attention. As an extra lure, I had celtic runes drawn on my bum cheeks in lipstick (kindly provided by Kevin and Averil, a backpacking couple that I met outside the Taroom Post Office earlier that day - a big "hello" to them!). Unfortunately, my space egg had gotten wet in the back of my ute on accounts that it had rained on my way down from Proserpine and the shell had become a little weak. Subsequently, I could only push it in my arse about half way as I was afraid it might crack, but I thought that would do anyway. I had previously partaken of a wee bit of rum in order to build up my courage (actually, quite a bit of rum) and was drowsing over the log when I sensed something approach me from behind! Something wet then touched my bum and I freeked out. I crawled franticly back to the fence but got hopelessly tangled in the barbed wire as the strange thing followed me. It turned out however that it was only "Snowy" the local Labrador dog whom I had seen outside the Pub earlier. She gave my bare arse another good lick then wandered off up the road, presumably to fetch help, but nobody came to my assistance (stupid dog!). Anyway, there was not much I could do to extract myself from the barbed wire as I couldn't get my boots off in the myopic state I was in, so I went to sleep to wait for daylight. A nice lady driving a 4WD pulled up about 6:30am as she thought I'd had some sort of accident (which was very considerate of her). Unfortunately, the space egg in my bum had "hatched" in the meantime and I had a purple dinosaur hanging out of my lipstick painted bare arse! To her credit, the kind lady did not comment, and she helped me get untangled before driving off. So, after all that, I would just like to say to the aliens up there watching, that you are weak as piss for not accepting my challenge. You just sit up there in your fancy spaceship twiddling your multiple thumbs without a damn clue as to what we humans are all about! So there! Who looks stupid NOW eh!! Obi1

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RHP User

10 years ago

similar story the other night my man said lets go look at the glow worms WOW so exciting !!!!! The only exciting part was him falling over and dragging me down with me I landed on my arse bracking his fall Then stumbles up the track me nearly crying with pain and laughter I'll get you back bitch lmao - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

lmfao I haven't had a good belly laugh like that in a long time. You rock the planet my friend just have to get the aliens on board and it's all systems go

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RHP User

10 years ago

Initial reaction was WTF? And then I read 'Cracow' and it all made sense. One of the best pubs in Oz. I have my name signed on the ceiling. Why I was on the ceiling is another matter. 😁 Do they still run the boxing tent?

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madotara69

10 years ago

'Shuzzbut' Mado Mado Tara xx

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RHP User

10 years ago

Who was the kind lady really? Did you see her hands clearly? Why was she there so early in the morning? Why was śhe so incurious ? I think the aliens did visit you in the form of the aforementioned lady and had their evil way with you. Their sophisticated memory erasing techniques in evidence. I hope you recover soon from your traumatising experience Obi XxMarple

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RHP User

10 years ago

Just gold.

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Seachange73

10 years ago

Funny stuff. But you really should get back onto your meds.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Very funny :D - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

I really cannot bear the thought of the implications if Ms Marple's hunches are correct! Aliens 2 : Obi1 0 ? Noooooooooooooooo!!!

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RHP User

10 years ago

LMFAO! 😂

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Not So Close Encounters

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