Not much of a talker but good at listening

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Hard to have a conversation, if your not talking, and it's rather hard to do it face to face here. You need to be adaptive to the medium.Women like to talk, though I think they value someone who will listen, and not give advice unless they ask for it.Maybe you just need to come out of your shell a bit more.100+ texts a day! really.....holy moly!I would be lucky to send that many a year!Cheers Felonius...text warrior he aint....

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I looked at your profile Mike and I am a little unsure as to what you are looking for here.Most people love having someone pay attention,listen,really listen to them,in fact I find that very sexy. Are you just looking for more friends to chat to? Or are you looking for a friend with benefits,or just casual sex? You have a very alternative and distinctive look that will appeal to a certain group but not to more conservative women,but I am sure you know that. So perhaps re-think your profile a little and be clear about what you are looking for here. x Hugs H

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Hi Mike!   Great opening post and topic. Three things strike me which may be assumptions you've made that aren't entirely accurate.   Possible Assumption #1: Everyone is talkative, I'm unusual for being more of a listener.   If you're not saying much in the chat room, and preferring to read rather than post on the forums, I'd say you're actually with the majority of people Mike. There are certain of we RHP-ers who have a really extroverted personality and talk up a storm in chat or on the forums. Honestly I think we're the vast minority of folks on here. It's just that because we're so loud and loquacious we well and truly punch above our weight, giving the appearance that we're the "normal" ones when really, we aren't. While you might have the impression that you're a member of the minority, I'd suggest you're actually a member of the vast majority.   Possible Assumption #2: It is better to be talkative. I have less to offer because I'm quieter.   I endear some folk with my talkativeness and opinions, but I can assure you I piss off people as well. RHP users who are quieter aren't going to come to as much attention, but then they're not going to come to as much negative attention either. When you log into chat Mike, you've got pretty much a clean slate. When I log into chat there will be easily a dozen users who will immediately groan, roll their eyes and think, "It's THAT GUY again." The quieter guys might think they'd be better off to be THAT GUY. But as THAT GUY, let me reassure you, it ain't all it's cracked up to be.   I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that many women aren't looking for a big ball of talkativeness and ego on their search for male company. Being a good listener is actually a really big asset that you might be under-rating. If I were you I'd hone in on that strength of mine. I'd nurture my already-existing talent by reading books and trying new things to increase my ability. (I.e. increased awareness of body language, active listening skills like "paraphrasing"). Then I'd market it as one of my unique strengths. It'd go straight on my profile.   Possible Assumption #3: I'm not talkative in the first place.   100+ texts per day! That shows me you're a good listener, because obviously you're responding to others in 2-way conversation. It also shows me that you can talk! Maybe the difference here is that you know the people you're texting very well. You don't know the people in chat, on the forums, and randoms you message on RHP. The key could be building relationship. Once you know someone, you will appear more talkative. The catch-22 of course is, well, how do you get to know them...?

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  in that you need to adapt to the medium...having said that.. i'm not one for the chat rooms either.If it's not your cup of tea, then there's no need to fit in giving advice isn't a bad thing either champ, unless your wanting something from it. Then it's borderline 'controlling'.... i'm guessing that's probably not your angle though... you just seem like a quiet, reserved guy to me.I prefer a face to face chat as well, but people need to see a little of your personality first, get their panties wet... then hopefully a meet. Then you can talk their face off.... spin your magic.100 text a day.... i think you need a new hobby... good luck mike

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Hey Mike,This is easy to deal with, you just need to learn to ask open ended questions, and then keep prompting with more open ended questions. How was your day? What did you think about that thing? Why are we here? Ask open ended questions- it shows interest and is great if you're a listener. I too am a great listener, and prober, but I suck at petty small talk (I'm an introvert), open ended questions allow me to dig deep rather quickly. However, this isn't a good ploy when conversing with another introvert. Can lead to quite awkward conversations if either party don't want to open up.Practice this in chat rooms and on the phone. You can also practice this via email, but expect questions in response that you will need to reply to. Good luck :)

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Wow, I liked your response, very well articulated and observed..

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'slippery_halo' Hi Mike!   Great opening post and topic. Three things strike me which may be assumptions you've made that aren't entirely accurate.   Possible Assumption #1: Everyone is talkative, I'm unusual for being more of a listener.   If you're not saying much in the chat room, and preferring to read rather than post on the forums, I'd say you're actually with the majority of people Mike. There are certain of we RHP-ers who have a really extroverted personality and talk up a storm in chat or on the forums. Honestly I think we're the vast minority of folks on here. It's just that because we're so loud and loquacious we well and truly punch above our weight, giving the appearance that we're the "normal" ones when really, we aren't. While you might have the impression that you're a member of the minority, I'd suggest you're actually a member of the vast majority.   Possible Assumption #2: It is better to be talkative. I have less to offer because I'm quieter.   I endear some folk with my talkativeness and opinions, but I can assure you I piss off people as well. RHP users who are quieter aren't going to come to as much attention, but then they're not going to come to as much negative attention either. When you log into chat Mike, you've got pretty much a clean slate. When I log into chat there will be easily a dozen users who will immediately groan, roll their eyes and think, "It's THAT GUY again." The quieter guys might think they'd be better off to be THAT GUY. But as THAT GUY, let me reassure you, it ain't all it's cracked up to be.   I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that many women aren't looking for a big ball of talkativeness and ego on their search for male company. Being a good listener is actually a really big asset that you might be under-rating. If I were you I'd hone in on that strength of mine. I'd nurture my already-existing talent by reading books and trying new things to increase my ability. (I.e. increased awareness of body language, active listening skills like "paraphrasing"). Then I'd market it as one of my unique strengths. It'd go straight on my profile.   Possible Assumption #3: I'm not talkative in the first place.   100+ texts per day! That shows me you're a good listener, because obviously you're responding to others in 2-way conversation. It also shows me that you can talk! Maybe the difference here is that you know the people you're texting very well. You don't know the people in chat, on the forums, and randoms you message on RHP. The key could be building relationship. Once you know someone, you will appear more talkative. The catch-22 of course is, well, how do you get to know them...?    Take this good advice Mike trust me I am sometimes looked on by people as annoying cause I dont shut up lol, and yes I think most woman crave the attention of a man who will listed and advise occasionally, so take the good advise and good luck

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'Pleasure_Vs_Pain' Wow, I liked your response, very well articulated and observed.. Cheers mate! I hope it helped Mike.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  It is essential for sex knowledge to begin at an beginning age and also that it is continual. Giving adolescents basic details from an beginning age provides the groundwork on which more complicated knowledge is built up eventually.

  reply

  like