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RHP

RHP User

M40

Not sure where this belongs, but new nonetheless

November 29 2013

Thread title is completely appropriate. Hello RHP, I'm cornchip and I'm new! Poked around on the forums today, and after reading some amazingly considerate and mature responses I've decided to quit lurking and come cap in hand for a bit of advice. Hoping you'll oblige me... I'm bisexual, and I'm in love with my girlfriend. Utterly, completely adore her, and intend to get engaged to her.The "I'm bisexual" bit has been on the edge of my mind for a while, and was probably the reason I waited several years before splashing serious cash on a bit of compressed carbon and associated precious metals. It's a little more complicated than that, actually (is it ever easy?). While I completely and utterly love my girlfriend, I've reconciled with myself that I will need to have, erm, intimate sexyfuntimes with a male from time to time. My amazing girlfriend of many years took this on board with a stiff upper lip, and now we're trying to find ways to Make Things Work. This is Bold New Territory for us. We've had a lot of discussions about this over the past week or so, and are going to try going to a Swinger's party on the weekend. Frankly, we're both butterfiles-in-stomach terrifed about the idea; we both came from very conservative families. Not only that, but STI's and trolls and boundaries, oh my! I'm hoping we meet a nice couple who are very much into each other, but can play nice with us. I'm hoping the male in that couple is a mirror of myself - in love with his significant other, but bisexual enough to enjoy both of myself and my partner. I'm hoping that his partner will understand. I'm hoping that, with a good amount of talking and clarification, everyone knows the difference between a line in the sand and a coded invitation. I'm hoping that the play keeps away from the stormy waters of jealousy, resentment, confusion and danger. That's a lot of hope, with very little experience to back it up. RHP, I'm asking you do more than say Hi to the New Guy. I'm opening myself up to your advice, your experiences, and possibly your lynching mobs. Hello RHP. Grab a pitchfork, there's shouting outside and you don't want to miss out.

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    What are you asking? Not sure what advice you want, although I will say depends on the swingers clubs. Some are very straight and there is no real boy play, so depends.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hey cornchip. You have an amazing partner to take all this on board. Take your time and don't rush things, it will be a journey of self discovery for you both before you figure out exactly what works for you both & settle into something that is mutually satisfying. There are lots of threads with sound advice from similar people to yourself. Hopefully they will find this thread here to contribute also. Good luck with it all and welcome to the forums.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If you're truly in love with her then you need to Focus on just her . It's early days and I'm glad you've been upfront . Perhaps you should give her a StrapOn for Xmas . GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Not sure if youll find what you want at a swingers club.. You may ,but I havnt noticed much bi play at most clubs. But, there are bi guy/girls parties around , just check the notice boards etc . Im sure ull meet a like minded couple on here anyway. Its not that uncommon. Good luck !!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    You are assuming he is into anal sex, which isn't' necessarily the case at all. A strapon and playing with guys is nothing alike. It is interesting though Cornchip that you basically told you wife to be that you will not be faithful to her and she is trying to make it work. What ever happened to forsaking all others when you get married?

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  • Cheekyarses

    Cheekyarses

    12 years ago

    Hello!! After reading your post & how you both want to meet a nice couple - why the single profile if your girlfriend knows? Good luck

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  • QLDtwo4fun

    QLDtwo4fun

    12 years ago

    Forsaking all others.......I thought it was embracing all others. Work out your boundaries as a couple, up date your profile, and see how it all goes. Lots of girls love seeing a bit of boy on boy action.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hey I suggest using RHP to find another bi couple. Get to know them in a comfortable setting and that way your girlfriend will be able to see with her own eyes that happiness can exist with such a relationship. And things such as jealousy will be easier to dismiss for her. I also suggest making sure your girlfriend is part of the decision making process. It's important she is comfortable and also has her desires met too. Always keep her number 1. Good luck to you.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Have you been to a swingers club before? Has your GF? I think you will need take baby steps because the whole experience may be a little overwhelming at first and even with rules in place you will never know how you will react until you are there. Sounds like you are going to play with a man for the first time as well, that may be very confronting to your GF as well. Take it slowly is my advice. Oh and in my experience it's common for the bloke to have performance issues the first time. Completely normal so don't worry about it if that happens.

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hello all, I'm a newbie on RHP, first time commenter too, but as a bi guy (recently upgraded to pan) I feel I can offer my few cents worth of advice to you corn chip. As has been said above, take it slow with your partner- this tends to freak a lot of people out as they feel that "they are losing you" and a multitude of other feelings to do with a) rejection generally and b) the sexuality side of things. There is a lot of bi-phobia out there, including in the GLBTI communities. So, that said, your partner is a) willing to go to a swingers club and b) hasn't slagged you off for your same sex attraction- both of these things say that she loves you and is willing to work with this change of events. Kudos and yay! As far as swingers clubs go, my experience is girl on girl is more acceptable when part of a 3some with a guy, but man/man action is generally not "acceptable". So as suggested above bi parties are the way to go. There are also a number of couples on here with a bi/curious male, so that would be a good option for you too. My experience also suggests there are far more bi/curious men on here than is listed, since they are scared of scaring off the "straight" male in other couples- so this tends to come out more during play, and sometimes encouraged by the women who like seeing guy/guy action. Good luck sir!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    with your girl - lots of bi action to be had and she gets to have fun too :)

    reply

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