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Now We Know Why Men Fukk Goats.

June 25 2009

“Merlene-Jolene-Ethel-Bobby-Sue, that there durn goat o’ yourn done gone an’ got all ‘cited an’s fallen down agin” And so another day starts on the farm of the first people to domesticate North America’s native Capra Hircus or Tennessee Fainting Goats. The fainting goat is a (now) domestic breed of goat whose muscles freeze for roughly 10 seconds when the goat is startled. This then causes the goat to keel over on its side or back, legs completely stiff. This is cause by a hereditary genetic disorder called Myotonia Congenita. When frightened, or even fed, younger goats will stiffen and drop; older goats learn to spread their legs or lean against something, which I personally happen to find hilarious. You think cow tipping is fun, try yelling boo at a bunch of these things! Furry dominos!!!!! As stated previously, this reaction is brought on at times by the goat... Eating- Oooooo dinner time woohoo! Grain yes! ...chew chew ‘FAINT’ Fear – What the fukk is that thing?!?!... run run ‘FAINT’ Pleasure- Ooooo I love it when I brush against this tree... rub rub ‘FAINT’ I mean really, to have such a hysterical reaction, makes you wonder just exactly HOW these goats have survived the depredation by wolves and mountain lions. But if you think about it, what self respecting mountain lion would even try. If you’re preying on something that is so neurotic as to faint at first sight of you, how’s your reputation going to be amongst the ranks of other mountain lions? You want something that’s going to challenge your skills as a stealthy hunter, testing your prowess, with the possibility of your prey getting away at the last second. Catching something that has fallen over with legs spread in the first two seconds is hardly going to enhance your innate abilities... And this is where the freckle-faced, buck-toothed, torn bib-n-brace wearing, mentality-of-a-gnat Tennessee farmer comes in. If his missus, Merlene-Jolene-Ethel-Bobby-Sue is occupied giving birth to #17 of their litter of children, and he’s in the paddock feeling slightly aroused and one of the prettier goats gets a fright and faints with her legs in the air, I could well imagine ol’ Cletis-Jimmy-Jack-Billy-Bob whipping out his love stick and getting to it. Two things come to my mind at this juncture; 1. Is this where the term ‘horny’ actually comes from? (These goats do have horns) 2. Is this the real reason children are called ‘kids’? (from indiscriminate mixing of genes?) And as you absorb these lines gentle reader, does the similarity between women and goats not come to mind? Let’s face it, there are some pretty hysterical women out there whose reactions to different visual and tactile stimulus is exactly the same as the goats. The Supermodel... “You want me to eat a WHOLE lettuce leaf?” ‘FAINT’ The Princess... “Oooo... a spider!!”...’FAINT’ The Popularity Contestant... “Oh you voted for me?!”... ‘FAINT’ And I note that as I am writing, the observation comes to mind that these particular women faint just as the goats do... With their legs spread and stiff as a board... Its interesting how Mother Nature has a sense of humour, I wonder whether we should all take a leaf out of her book (pun intended) Its a natural (but cruel) world Viking

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RHP User

16 years ago

VB. Where did you come up with that line of thought? You obviously dont read enough mills and boon. Next guys will say all women are just prey and they are the hunters looking for another trophy. LOL

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RHP User

16 years ago

Just mulling over Viking's thoughts... and came up with a brief list of bad fainting situations... ▪ Fainting in your soup at a flash restaurant ▪ Fainting into the urinal of a public loo ▪ Whilst sky diving before pulling the rip cord ▪ Male ballet dancer lifting the prima ballerina ▪ An obese virgin attempting penetration with a young slim nymph ▪ Bingo announcer ▪ Pilot during an urgent announcement ▪ Bank teller when there's a long queue near closing time ▪ Nurse or Dentist administering a needle to a nervous patient ▪ During an arm length rectal exam on a big impatient beast ▪ Vet gelding an anxious and energetic colt ▪ Traffic cop in the middle of a busy intersection ▪ Peak hour on the freeway whilst crossing lanes ▪ When dying for a piss and its standing room only on a crowded bus or train ▪ Middle of a crosswalk on a wet day in a see through dress ▪ Fainting docks edge at Fremantle harbor as your friends embark and finally... ▪ Whilst caught trying to mount that poor incapacitated goat

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RHP User

16 years ago

ffs lmfao xxx

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RHP User

16 years ago

I have a goat but I drive mine

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RHP User

16 years ago

... cos they're horny :-P

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Now We Know Why Men Fukk Goats.

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