F62
One of These Things is Not Like the Other
August 10 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
It would be unusual for me to feel that I did fit in.I have always been the observer sometimes the subversive. I have never been good at "teams" either in work situations or in my personal life. I like my own company and am happy to spend a lot of time alone.it makes me happy..nice topic Peachy xx🐝plant flowers save the bees Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
exactly the same as Q, nicely put and that's me pretty much. My raw version of that though would be for me, fitting in, is something I resist, I dislike fiercely, because it's conformist and makes me extremely uncomfortable. Has a kind of communist feel about it, not for me at all. To fit in, in any social, work or other situation, you have to conform to other people's ideals, to some degree, sometimes be or act what they want you to be. Never, not happening. The interesting thing about this is that it's only in recent years I've come to accept and understand that I control this and like it, I always thought I was just socially inept, and to others now, it may appear that way, but it's very much a conscious choice. I have no desire to be friends with people who might tut tut me or be worried about my behavior, or the way I dress, or you get the picture, I'm too old now, I'm my own person, and I don't need or want that, so there's no feeling of loss for me or like I'm missing out. I'm 100% happy with myself and my life. There are assumptions surrounding this, not meaning here, but in the workplace for example, where they do team activities to encourage people to be able to work 'as a team'. Nothing wrong with that but I just kind of bog in when it's required, I don't need to be babysat, things like that meant I didn't fit into working for a big company either, but again, that didn't happen by accident, but by my design. I have control over my own life and make choices based on my own happiness, I don't alter behavior or actions to suit the crowd. That just makes me cringe actually, more so the older I get. I've never been a person who requires lots of friends. The only think I'd change about that now is sexual friends, don't have nearly enough of them lol What I was trying to say above is that people can tend to feel sorry for you, but it's a wasted emotion. Why feel sorry for someone is perfectly happy, thriving, loving life. I feel that coming from you Q, you seem very settled and happy, I like that, and I understand it. I'm not suggesting you echo everything I've said here either, I'm referring to myself, but I see how settled and happy you are, your garden room and all that lol sounds so nice
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RHP User
9 years ago
the only 'think'
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have always felt 'different' For a start, I've always been tall and used to hate being singled out as the tall girl or being called height related names 'lofty' 'wookie' (that one really hurt!) and so on. Then there was the intelligence thing - being very bright at school. Teacher's pet, nerd - ouch! Oh and lets see - glasses at the age of 13. Four eyes!! No wonder I felt a little unusual. Add to the mix my love of books (mainly fantasy, sci fi and horror), preference for my own company and being the observer, I was definitely a different young lady. I have come to terms with my differences over the years. Now I embrace my differences. I love my heels, understand my desire for solitude, rock my sexy glasses, value my intelligence, my library needs more space and think people watching is a great hobby (especially over a good coffee). I am an open minded and open hearted woman enjoying life - well as long as there is a good book, coffee and chocolate ;) Be happy that we are not all the same and understand that its ok to be different. I have passed this on to my children. They have grown up to be very inclusive and happy in their skin. Happy tall, geeky, confident mum!! :)
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Grouse33
9 years ago
For example I am a longtime proponent of double denim and have managed the triple on occasions too. My 2016 fashion goal is to do quadruple but it has so far been difficult to find a denim hat or shoes. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
All The Bloody Time But difference is what defines everything.Otherwise everything would be beige. Evolution drives differences as an essential solution, so you should embrace them. DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
...I thought I was Different. Not Weird Different or Eccentric Different....but a Loner Different. I suppose comparing myself to my older brother or sister might support that...we shared an identical upbringing, but both of them were married and produced children by their mid 20's. I wouldn't even accept a relationship until my mid 30's, so maybe there's something in that. But I don't believe that I'm different anymore.In the last decade, my ego has taken a seat further and further back in the jet boat of my personality , which is a good thing, I think. I believe that there's just too many people out there for very many people to be too Different. I guess...I embrace my Indifferent Ordinariness these days with contented gusto...and look forward to the next day.
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Sawadee
9 years ago
Being involved in team sports taught me how to be a team player . I can be quite social-able and I love catching up with ex team mates. But , that's only part of my personality. The other side is I need my space . I don't need people around me all the time and quite happy to book a flight and jet off to other parts of the world by myself. This doesn't mean I'm a loner , not at all. I need friends , just not all the time.
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sweetgem
9 years ago
As my surname, zodiac and star sign are all animals, or in animal form LOL and yep, like the human names of April, May and June, we have an animal name as a surname in my culture, and I got that as my surname 😛 so I often ask my friends, what are the chances for them to meet someone who is all "animals" like me 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
My personal style was different. It still is but where I lived it was a very small place so I was "odd". I still like to be different and my friends are all different in their personalities and orientations. My new relationship isnt conventional and thats how I like it. When Im very old ( God willing ) Ill be listening to the Pet Shop Boys. "We were never being boring"
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RHP User
9 years ago
I try to keep my beat away from the hordes! Or hide it and be invisible within it. I have mixed European background. First generation Australian. The Australian kids said I was foreign, my difficult to pronounce name gave it away. Those friends and family on one side of my bloodline resented the other. Different religions and cultures. I only knew "Australian", why am I different? The more I'd try and prove the more distant they'd make me. Bullied, teased and beaten. At home too. Then after having enough, I'd fight back and be made out the monster, and cast further away. Now I'm older. I'm grateful for the blessing of these difficulties. I found my greatest companions in books. Writers! Across time, language, cultures and countries. They bolster my rugged individualism and obstinancy, and lead me to support those other kindred, crazy souls. Like one of my heroes Simone Weil ( Patron Saint of Outsiders) writes "..never seek for friendship. Rely only on yourself". Short phrase but there is much nuance in the statement to think on. Particularly now, in the age of the conceited transparency and reactive materialist tissue thin community of social media. Like I've said before, I'm introverted but not shy, solitary but not antisocial, overthinking but not awkward. I've resisted some cute, cloying flirting this week and been labelled gay or asexual. Fuck 'em, I'm going to another gangbang on Saturday night !!! . If only they knew. Cheers to the defiant loners!! (hic)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Who's having the last laugh now? Indeed. I'd be pushing the Australian kids to the back of the line, just so I could get a better look at you 😜😛😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've often felt like a bit of an outsider, as a kid I was never really bullied but being introverted, a big reader, and consistently getting high marks at school meant I was never going to be one of the popular kids. I had friends but have never been one of those people with big social circles. For the last few years I've definitely felt like I don't really 'belong' anywhere - not identifying with the younger kids at uni but also not really having much in common with the older ones; being a single woman in her 30s who doesn't want kids, living in a conservative regional city, means I'm definitely in a very small minority. Then there's the mental health issues I've had over the years which have often increased my social isolation and feelings of 'otherness'. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, I'm learning to accept who I am and to actually like that person and all her differences.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Kokohoney' Ill be listening to the Pet Shop Boys. "We were never being boring" Love that song.
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RHP User
9 years ago
My team were passing the ball backwards so I assumed that was the way our goals were and I got the opposition a totally unopposed touch down.... I was the only one on my team cheering for myself 🙈 Then I wasn't like the others- so embarrassing!!!! And a few times I've turned up at parties as the only one who actually wore the fancy dress...👫👫👻👫👫 XxMiss L. Ed
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thank you guys, it's really great to see your posts. I appreciate the variety, honesty and your generousity. Thanks for letting me get to know you a bit better. Our similarities stand out, like the sense of humour. Damn Grouse, I'm sure I have a hat here, I could mebbe manage a bag? I have taste in my genes. What also stands out are the stark differences between us all. Personality wise. How we feel/felt about it and where we are now. :-) A difference I celebrate is the questions I never got tired of asking, even if it was in the depths of my mind and not going to be spelled out here. Most of those questions are answered now, lol. I am a far wiser person. Now I hang out here and ask questions because I feel familiarity with what we all have in common, that we are sexual creatures, with layers. Peachy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'CaliforniaPeachy'Now I hang out here and ask questions because I feel familiarity with what we all have in common, that we are sexual creatures, with layers. Peachy Cheers to all us defiant loner sexual onions!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've always felt a little out of step with people around me. As an introvert, I need some alone time and space to decompress, and social situations, particularly with people I don't know, always require a some prep time. I was told once, on a work night out, that they loved my outfit, and they they wouldn't be "brave enough" to go out like that. It made me completely question myself, my style, and my willingness to put myself out there in social situations. I'm mostly ok with being a loner, and being a bit different - it's taken me a long time to accept who I am. But sometimes I look at my friends who find it so easy to be around others, and I get insanely jealous.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I just saw a great post on Facebook - "Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in, you'll disappear." I love that.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Something that occurred to me during the week. I'm a big lover of jigsaws, and the uniqueness of each and every piece that will only fit in it's place to make up the totality of the picture. Sometimes a piece will look the same or fit but not have the right picture. I love jigsaws, I even keep the ones with pieces missing, they have to be in the house somewhere. I have found a couple of pieces floating around recently... it only remains for me to dig out the right jigsaws (contacted on the back to keep them together and stacked for storage) and reunite them with their lost pieces. Every piece is important. It might not be long till I'll have the room to have my jigsaws out again... can't wait. Thank Patch, you reminded me of that with your excellent Tetris quote. Peachy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'bigsur83' Quoting 'CaliforniaPeachy'Now I hang out here and ask questions because I feel familiarity with what we all have in common, that we are sexual creatures, with layers. Peachy Cheers to all us defiant loner sexual onions! And cheers to us all!🍻 Peachy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summersolstice' On the outside I may appear like an emotionless sarcastic piece of shit, but just like an onion when you peel off more layers you find the exact same thing every single time and you start crying. (Not my quote) Hmmn, Summer, seems you're ringed by your sensitivity and passion and emit a performed indifference and pungent sarcasm (humour you'd most likely see it as) to protect the vulnerability your tenderness sets you in. I'd venture to guess you've been brunoised too many times
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RHP User
9 years ago
mmmm, onion cake.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I neglected to transfer across the (lasagne) in your heading. ;-) Personally, the layers I was thinking about in the first place (not chickens either :-P) are a damn sight more fun than any mentioned so far... Princess Fiona might disagree, eh Summer. Peachy "On the outside I may appear like an emotionless sarcastic piece of shit but just like an onion when you peel off more layers you find the exact same thing every single time and you start crying." - Shrek
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm usually the person in the theatre jumping and screaming, even when everyone else has not reacted, lol. I can even have trouble watching ,"World's Funniest Videos", when people get hurt. Peachy
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RHP User
9 years ago
All my life I never seem to understand it and hated it but now I like it as I know there is not another one like me !! And that cool as I'm no sheep I don't go baaaaaa! ( unless I'm playing pokemon go and a rare one in kings park pops up then I will follow just to get it and do Jacobs ladder for the first time ever to catch a Pokemon ) I know I'm different , been told it too!!! but told I'm diffent but a good kind of diffent I. Won't go on but just know people will find I'm pretty much always a outsider one on one I'm ok but a groups I often feel like I'm the odd one out
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am the one at the table who doesn't have sport speak.In a sports obsessed nation ..and Queensland in particular...I actually don't get the team player thing..all that bonding escapes me. But I sing to my own song and sometimes people sing with me . Perhaps Peachy we are all outsiders in our own way because we are all different in our own way...it's the more introverted of us who struggle with the difference but it is something to celebrate..viva la difference Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
I do think it's okay to be different ,and I imagine, necessary. As negatively as I might view the concept at times. I also recognise that unique is a synonym. Some of our most celebrated minds and artists are just that because they different/unique. On a more mundane level, He loves sports here, I abhor it but suffer it because I know how happy it makes Him. Most of the time. ;-) I don't get how putting faith in an AFL team is rewarding or worth the despair when they lose. The rest of the family does... Vive le difference... Peachy
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RHP User
9 years ago
How is it being an Aussie in another country? or not being an Aussie in Oz? I feel for you Q being at a table of sports speak! :-Peachy
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's over twenty five years since I lived in California but the Aussie accent was a likeability factor.Cute was the word often used.But America had a different culture and I realised how laid back we are here and after nearly a year I just wanted to come home Q
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