Oral sex and staying safe

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  We don't have the need to ask, cause we are really picky about who we play with... Getting to know people and understanding their sexual history makes the decision to take the situation to the next level easier! We always practice safe sex, if it's not on!! it's not on!!! Some People on here seem to take it way to lightly! We don't swap partners for sex, and we don't play until we know people.... this isn't Russian roulette....

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  I'm not sure the above poster, loveita, was specifically referring to oral sex.   Welcome to the adventure 50shadesnmore! I haven't played with a couple yet but I do have a couple of very hot irons in the fire, so wish me luck. But I can give you some general info and my experience from meeting singles from this site.   Should you get tested regulary for STIs (as they call them now, some medical thing, apparently "infections" is more correct)? Yep. I suggest going specifically to a sexual health medical clinic. The Queensland government runs some that are completely free, I'm sure there are similar things in other states. Allow an hour for your first visit (where they take a long medical history) but subsequent visits for quick tests can be over in 15 mins with results available over the phone. I suggest them rather than your GP because they know a lot more of what's going on and it's more anonymous. I've had the same GP since I was 3, there's no way I'm telling him what I'm getting up to sexually.   You've probably had vaccinations against Hep B (though they can check for immunity with a blood test) but not everyone has been vaccinated against Hep A. Their blood test told me I wasn't, so I've recently forked out for the vaccination.   Should you ask partners about their sexual health checkups? Definitely. Personally I'm more comfortable playing with someone who asks me beforehand about STIs and my lest test than I am people who think it's more polite not to. Some drama queens may get offended but in that case they're not worth your time.   The trickier question: condoms on men for oral sex. Most people don't bother. A lot of people on this site say they use safer sex "Always for all activities" and yet only one of them I've met has ever insisted to me on using condoms for oral sex. I say "Always for intercourse" on my profile. I think a lot of others don't understand what "Always for all activities" actually means.   But you're in the driver's seat for whom you'd like to play with and the rules of that meet. If you'd like your playmates to use condoms for oral sex, or oral sex is off the menu, then you're completely within your rights to ask for that! If the others think that sounds like the worst thing ever (unlikely, but it takes all types on this site...) then you could choose to part ways and find someone better. There are ways of making it more pleasant, such as using as thin as possible condoms and only doing it as an entree` to intercourse. If the condom's gotta go on anyway, may as well get a suck or two out of the arrangement, am I right?   There are also barriers for oral sex to women or for "rimming". Commercially they're called dental dams, thin sheets of flavoured latex. Hard to find but condomcountry.com.au stocks them. If not you can unroll a flavoured condom, snip off the teat at the end, cut the tube lengthways and unroll it. Either way hold on to them securely, they can move around a bit, and a dab of lube on the side of the receptive partner makes things easier and feel better.   The final suggestion is to (obviously) not have oral sex play if there are any cuts or ulcers in or around the mouth. Brush your teeth gently before play and give it 2 hours beforehand so any microscopic little tears in the gums have time to close. Regular cleans at the dentist and good oral hygiene can help prevent bleeding from plaque or gingivitis.   Fortunately the big nasty, HIV/AIDS, is very difficult to get through oral sex. That's not to say impossible but still very difficult. If your partners are careful couples just like yourselves who get their own check ups and play safe chances are they don't have it either. The most commonly transmitted infections through unprotected oral sex are either curable through a good dose of anti-biotics or, in the case of herpes, a damned nuisance but one that is very common and while unpleasant is manageable and doesn't permanently effect one's health.   Have fun!

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Just a fountain of information there, Slippery_Halo :) Welcome 50shadesnmore and I'll take the opportunity to say - amazing photos!I was going to pretty much say the same - visit a sexual health clinic rather than a regular GP. Your regular GP will tell you to come back 'in another three years', and for those of us that engage in these extra-curricular activities, getting a sexual health check only once every three years is just terrifying. I was talking to a bisexual male friend of mine and from memory I think he said that you should get a sexual health check every 3-4 months or every five partners.I like to get to know people before playing, and through subtle conversation I've found I can easily determine people's stance on STIs. Don't just trust people on a whim when they say 'D&D free is important to us', because anyone can say what they like on an Internet profile. Frankly, they can also tell you whatever they like in person, but if in the middle of playing they completely disregard the mutual understanding, put a stop to things right there and then and either remind them or don't be afraid to walk away from the situation.What my rule was when I joined the site (and which I still adhere to), is that I'd establish just a few people to meet occasionally, rather than have one-nighters with new people each time. Some people prefer new people all the time for the variety and lessened likelihood of forming an attachment, but having an established group of 'playmates' who you can trust and share your views on safe sex will increase your chances of staying safe...and not to mention the sex getting better as you familiarise yourselves with each other ;)And yes, dental dams... People put so much emphasis on condoms, condoms and more condoms these days that dental dams get left out of the picture.Have fun and play safe!

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Firstly, before putting you off, we've had a great time meeting up with people & have made some good friends.Let's face it, the only safe sex is no contact, which isn't what we want to hear. People tend to focus on a couple of major STIs, but one needs to understand that there's a whole bouquet of bugs out there which can make you an unhappy couple, I'm saying 'unhappy' by not being able to have sex together until you're healthy again. Also one needs to be aware that many infections/diseases are passed on without the use of condoms. Somewhat like 'Loveita' we like to get to know people & their lifestyle choices before anything happens. You gotta start thinking, if one half of the couple is into the bi scene on their own. 'Citty_Kitty' has the right idea, don't go for the one nighters , we keep away from the party/club scene where it's so hit & miss.I guess we all make decisions that may not have healthy outcomes - (diet, no exercise, run a red light/speed etc). For us we do take a risk with oral sex by not using any barriers.STI/STD checkups are always a good idea & as 'Slippery_Halo' says your local sex clinic is a good place. How often to get checked? Discuss it with the clinic nurse/dr, they'll know what suits you best & give you up to date tips..

  reply

  like

• 

  Paradisepair

  13 years ago

  Is throat cancer from the same wart virus that causes cervical cancer. The way it was described to me at the local wonderfully, friendly, open minded and free Sex Clinic was it's a skin on skin transmission.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Quoting 'Paradisepair'Is throat cancer from the same wart virus that causes cervical cancer. The way it was described to me at the local wonderfully, friendly, open minded and free Sex Clinic was it's a skin on skin transmission. If you fork out for the Gardasil vaccine (which isn't cheap and requires three shots), it will grant immunity to the strains of the wart virus (human papiloma) not already contracted. However lots of people have contracted it after a number of partners because it's largely asymptomatic and once got it's got, so the vaccine may not be worth the cost for a lot of people. Of course a medico is going to be a better source of information here than a pervert on a site.   Drinking alcohol also greatly increases the risk of developing throat cancer later in life and many of us do that too. I've been known to do both in the same night.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Wow, thank you so much guys for taking the time to give such detailed and helpful answers, we really appreciate it. Reading through old posts it doesn't seem that protection during oral sex is the norm and though I can understand why, it does suprise me. I don't want to put my/our health at risk, but oral sex is very much part of the fantasies we'd love to live out at some point, though we very much plan on taking it slow in the beginning.   Getting to know someone first will be a must for us on this journey I think, I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy a sexual experience without the peace of mind that safety is a top priority of everyone involved. So much to think about and get our heads around.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  We cant recommend enough a appointment with the sex clinic. We always found doctors did not talk they did the tests and said "all clear". The sex clinic sees it as their role to educate and advise without passing judgement. They will ask a series of questions such as: 1/ Have you been overseas or had sex with anyone that has been overseas. 2/ How many people have you had sex with. 3/ Do you have anal sex? 4/ Riming? and then will ask you what that is! 5/ oral and so forth, remember they are calculating your risk profile to reccomend how often you should get tested. Every question they ask carries a risk its not a matter of just condoms...lol.   As a example we took a break and got tested after 12 months with just us two, we know we are 100% safe and if we decide just to mix it with 1-2 other long term married couples who we are happy that they meet the same and dont want to party with others. Just stick to within our circle, we may decide that is our safe sex criteria. Move outside this circle and our safe sex practice would increase heaps, but for now we dont want to.   ps The sex clinic will immunise you from some of the hep infections for free, something we think every swinger should do, we are disappointed our GP did not offer this. Also the girls at the sex clinic said "Tell all your swinger friends to come and visit us, we dont see enough of you lot"

  reply

  like

• 

  playfulminx

  13 years ago

  I don't think there's such a thing as being too careful but every person should weigh the risks and make their own minds up about how safe they think they should be in any given situation. If you're playing in a party situation with random genitals around you, you might leave oral sex out of the equation. Once you're comfortable with a set of long term play friends, you might consider rubber-free oral. I know some couples form monogamous friendships and feel comfortable to bareback entirely. Since you're new, I'd just look at meeting some people and form some rapport with them before doing the deed. I don't know too many long terms couples or scene friendly singles that are super reckless when it comes to swinging, or rather perhaps I/we've managed to avoid them. Let common sense prevail where possible. Perhaps stick to meeting couples and singles who themselves have strict rules about safe sex.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Thank you so much for your replies, really appreciate your advice. It has helped us decide on a way forward that feels right for us, and will definitely vist a sex clinic in the future instead of a GP, I don't think we would have thought of that, so thanks heaps :-) x

  reply

  like