F71
Paying attention
November 16 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Attention is more than putting down the phone, though people messing with their phones while we're hanging out does shit me to tears. Attention is about how you listen and where you direct your energy and focus. Do you make eye contact when you listen? Are you hearing the words and the feeling behind them or are you thinking about doing the groceries or working out what you're going to say. There's a quote, not sure who by, that goes something like "if you're thinking about what to say in reply, you're not really listening". Are you acknowledging the other person with your body language and small verbal cues? Do you allow the story teller to stick with their story until they're done, or do you jump in, tell jokes, take over, redirect the topic and basically trample on them for your own entertainment (oh so common). Attention and listening are true gifts. In my experience they're both very rare. Too often people are focused on what they can get from an interaction, instead of what they can give in the way of time and focus. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
When I meet someone from here my phone goes on silent, I have kids so I do check my phone from time to time and if I receive a text from them or someone else I need to read I apologise. It can be easy to become attracted to someone when you first start chatting, particularly if you share common interests and find them physically attractive but until you meet them face to face you don't know if there will be any chemistry and in my opinion a connection only comes when all the boxes are ticked. For that reason I have no expectations, therefore I'm rarely amazed if there's no connection. I've not experienced this lack of care or interest and never felt ignored by the men I have met from here but maybe that's because I won't meet with someone until I've talked to them enough to determine their level of interest in me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
... to me, is missing out on the bestest of any given experience but not being fully present in the company of another kinda defeats the purpose of getting to know someone. No, I have not experienced this. I guess it all comes back to varying reasons for being on site and in keeping with mine, would not be meeting someone that I didn't feel as though there was a connection of some sort on some level to start with.
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6exxy
11 years ago
Gives you a better idea about the person than texting. However many people as stated above by passion8_1 make that decision via email, text or other means. It does not make it wrong, merely a choice. I prefer meeting to decide about connections. The eyes, style of clothing, accessories, perfume, hair and the little things. You got my attention...........🌷
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RHP User
11 years ago
Like Passion8, my phone is on silent whenever I meet. My young 'uns know how to get my attention if they need it, and they know not to contact me unless it's an emergency. To divert my attention elsewhere is just plain rude, irrespective of any chemistry or lack thereof...I am completely and totally yours and yours alone, until it is time to part ways. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
The purpose of a successful relationship, is to ensure the other person doesn't feel alone ... Especially when you are with them... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
You know it shits me to tears, I mean it really is just rudeness and I do tend to say something if someone is doing it to me and around me.......💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've just come across a story about the Today show, where the male presenter wore the same suit every day for a YEAR in protest of the intense scrutiny on his female colleague's appearance. . No one noticed.
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RHP User
11 years ago
When you talk to someone and its a good conversation the world does blink out and time just disappears. You always come back for more if its like that. There is nothing like it, love it. Is it the attention? guess that's part of it. There are some people that just talk, talk, talk, never listen. Conversation requires an exchange of information, there have been times I am sure all I needed to do was put up a cardboard copy that made the occasional nod. Just waiting for a pause to politely say "I need to visit the boys room." is a struggle. Just feel sorry for the next guy. Or equally bad are the ones that say nothing, you ask a question, you get a "Yep...." long pause.... OK then "How about this weather hey?" switching down to the mundane .... Yep...... long pause. Right then "Nice to meet you." only to hear latter that she was a little upset that you were talking to everyone else. Yep.....
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Let the stoning begin you pair!! And Luvinit just for you....and Freya, next time I'll leave it at home 😖
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On_Safari
11 years ago
LOVINIT!!!
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
IOS..... I call bullshit, you said that last time.....💋
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On_Safari
11 years ago
My apparent dependancy on digital technology......I shall NOT become enslaved to a mobile device!!
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Who talk back and are not sending me blind from all the tiny text!! 😎
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RHP User
11 years ago
There is more to listening than waiting for your turn to talk.
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MissBishere
11 years ago
pick up his phone straight after he ejaculated....and it wasn't to take a photo...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Was I already logged in?
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RHP User
11 years ago
... I have cancelled the ordered meal, and walked out on a date who over uses her phone.... I have walked away from people who answer their phones whilst we are in Discussion.... I have walked away from friends and never returned who "Entertain" in front of the TV. ... I have.... etc etc etc.. MAYBE why that is why I am on here.. and NOT in a relationship.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
What was the question again? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ohhhh, so it's the tiny text that's sending me blind. I thought it was because I'm a *anker! No, I don't work in a bank... - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Good to see you exercising your God given right to fondle your bits but ummm I think this was the wrong topic to discuss 👍
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RHP User
11 years ago
There was me thinking that reading tiny text instead of paying attention was the point of the thread... How can I be so wrong, so often...? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
When you're on an actual date with someone from here and they read you someone else's profile. Let's just say that it was all downhill from there!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'looking4quality' When you're on an actual date with someone from here and they read you someone else's profile. Let's just say that it was all downhill from there!
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