M43
People of RHP
March 06 2018
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
What about Mr & Mrs Kinky Deviants middle aged couples just like us. We absolutely love our life and have a healthy stable relationship outside of RHP. haha each to their own nice observations well done shpuld generate some responses lol. Btw which one do you slot in? 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Joins up after being in a ltr, goes on a number of dates with some sexy younger men, finds a couple of lovely FWBs, meets a guy on another site who takes her by surprise and they embark on a torrid 18 month affair. Ends amicably, still friends. Realises that relationships CAN be found online. Rejoins, going with the flow. Meeting some sexy young guys.........and who knows what will happen next! Its not all doom, gloom and desperation, Mr Purple. Ive made a lot of friends on RHP. Maybe change that heading to "Miss Rediscovers awesome sex and social life" You have come across some miserable people!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Every label/category is so bitter. Are you ok?!
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MsJonesy
8 years ago
There is Ms50+, who still enjoys quality sex, and quality sex partners. She is well aware her shit does in fact stink (as everyone's does). With remarkable insight (lol.... it takes NO insight!) she deduces that the rush of youngsters wishing to fuck her are, for the most part, targetting her as a desperate old biddy. She may be old-er, but is far from being a biddy. Having kicked around on this planet for awhile, she has a good sense of what, and what doesn't, work for her. She is selective, careful, and only dreams about receiving well thought out messages, because most of the crud which lands in her inbox would be better printed on toilet paper and used to clean up the aforementioned stinky shit. Indulging in some forum banter has allowed her to create a group of Real Life friends, with whom she has some extraordinary adventures. And remarkably.... none of these friendships (platonic or otherwise) have ever come about from a flirt.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I better stay right out of this one dp 😉
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GezWouldGo
8 years ago
🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'dirtyfuckers' What about Mr & Mrs Kinky Deviants middle aged couples just like us. We absolutely love our life and have a healthy stable relationship outside of RHP. haha each to their own nice observations well done shpuld generate some responses lol. Btw which one do you slot in? 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile I was definitely Mr Cum at me ladies a very long time ago (the shock at that reality not eventuating was so real, seems silly now). I maybe was Mr Kinky deviant for a while ;) Welcome back Koko, your return to these forums most certainly brightens them :) Nice addition to the list, as is your Ms Jonesy. I have more but it was a long post already and I wanted to leave some space for others to add some. Maybe you have one/some Gez? PS. sorry about the formatting issues, I did this word as it took a bit and I was worried about crashing. Seems it didnt transfer over as well as I would have liked.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I've been enlightened and of coursse learnt a lot from reading the forums.There are times it's more like being back at high school than being on RHP ... lol so hello from Miss Here For the Forums
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RHP User
8 years ago
I noticed you were back a little while ago and was wanting to say Hi, so it's nice to finally be able to say Hi and welcome back to you. 👋 Rubi :-)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Albeit I call bullshit. ⚡️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Ive tried to abstain from posting on the forums, but my resistance was futile! Good to be back xx
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madotara69
8 years ago
a drip under pressure, he lands into his own heaven's above and looks down to his keyboard ?......... He's a warrior, a keyboard warrior, an expert, an expert over and above all in his own little world, he's the type of guy that seeks to find his soulmate somewhere in the wallows of all foreseen desperado's past best use by date, all but the One he must save and rise to be with, new love dearly departed for together look down at the keyboard happily ever after, aman. The Mr Spurt, expert in the life of pity, he has never really had friends, he never liked anyone of the likes with any chances, he wades through the profiles searching for his love, randomly and matriculates his well constructed profile in his long well thought out messages, detailed by the lure of his appealing sense in self reflection... The whole world is a stage.... coach. bahahaha OP, great energetic topic. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
8 years ago
Ms Single Mum Ms Single Mum is done with men. Her vagina however is most certainly not. She gets one weekend a fortnight free from the spawn to be an adult and she doesn't want to waste it wining and dining with some limp dicked ponce her own age. She spends her weeknights online trawling through the endless single male profiles trying to find the ones whose personality she is repulsed enough by to not have to worry about forming emotional attachment yet attractive enough for her to imagine is Ryan Gosling in a dimly lit room. The weekend finally arrives and Ms Single Mum invites candidate numbers 1 through 4 directly to her home, she knows it's unlikely that they will all show and even less likely that they will all be on time. She cops a mildly satisfying sweaty dicking for 17 minutes before candidate 1 collapses in a breathless heap. Hearing a knock on the door Ms Single Mum runs her well practiced lie that she forgot that her brother was coming round and tells candidate 1 he should leave through the back door, he was trying to think of an excuse to leave anyway so is gone before she even finishes her sentence. Throwing her yoga pants back on with a quick rinse of air freshener, Ms Single Mum opens the door to candidate number 3 and repeats. She has 1 night to have 2 weeks worth of sex and no time to waste. Mr/Ms Snide Forum Comment With a sense of humour best described as "mundane", Mr/Ms Snide Forum Comment compensates by taking other peoples jokes and making them their own by cracking them repeatedly until they lose all vestiges of humour. Popcorn anyone? Aside from the flogging of expired equines, the other area expertise this RHPer has is making snide forum comments. Our hero was the smart kid in high school (which means they weren't in the cool crew), they also did not develop emotionally or intellectually much past that so they're trapped by their own lack of self awareness in an alternate reality where they are oh so clever. Waiting until the more senior members of the RHP forum cool crew to select their next troll Mr/Ms Snide Forum Comment hopes to ingratiate themselves to them by unleashing what they perceive to be one of the most wittiest put downs ever conceived. It is, instead, yet another basic snide comment following the same unimaginative template they copied from someone else. Bitter much? Mr Wtf Is He Talking About? If there was any justice in this world Mr Wtf Is He Talking About? would have been compensated for his diminutive stature with above average intelligence but there isn't and he wasn't. Not one to let his limitations limit him, Mr Wtf Is He Talking About incorrectly figures that making sense is not essential to appearing intelligent so if he simply throws together a sentence of long words in way that sounds complicated other people will assume they don't understand because he is next level smarter than them. As far as strategies go, it's about as effective as releasing cane toads to control beetle populations.
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MsJonesy
8 years ago
Do you write for the infamous, yet fabulous Bell Times? 😎
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RHP User
8 years ago
Love this.......I could fit into a few categories. Laughing so much my sides hurt. I am more with MsJonesy as far as categories goes and some of the single mum lol Keep it coming. Your wit and style of writing is a pleasure to read and you have obviously put a lot of thought into it. Ms Midnight
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RHP User
8 years ago
Online RHP can be a brutal place with more than a few hostile posters. A few years ago I went to the Sundowner at Kings Park, the only person there who I didn't like was a predatory male.I had the best conversation with Catherine.
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RHP User
8 years ago
He’s a young looking 58, his wife has lots of health problems, and isn’t in the mood for sex play, indeed hasn’t been for several years. He’s caring and loving but doesn’t push the sex bit, but he doesn’t want a hooker. He simply wants a female lover, who’ll enjoy his company, possibly his body, and she is comfortable with her own life. It seems a simple request to him, in this enlightened age, but is astonished most RHP females seem to view this as taboo! M_D4 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
And that's just the heterosexuals. What's that line about growing up to be the people our parents warned us about? Or just didn't like?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Mr Beacon of Humilty Ah, Mr Beacon of Humilty, this guy thinks he has found a point of difference to the usual arrogant, argumentative male types that inhabit the forasphere. He is going to be the zen master of humility and he is going to remind you of this in-every-single-post that he makes without the slightest hint of irony. The reality is this guy is to online discussion what a limp dick is to an orgy. His posts add nothing other than to remind everyone how he is superior to everyone else because is definitely not arrogant at all.
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Seachange73
7 years ago
DP. I've been away from forums for a while and I get back and see this. Lol. Having been away and deflecting on the forum characters, yes I can see where you are coming from. On pointe on some. Lol. Koko, I'm with you there. Don't want to box myself in one label as that's just too one dimensional. A little bit of this and that. Give it a good stir. Voila! A whole lot of lovely mess that makes us who we are. I'm happy to polish off my rough edges when I finally find them constructive for myself not to suit anybody else. I'm too old, too independent and stubborn to please anyone else or their shit.
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Seachange73
7 years ago
I remember meeting you and so many interesting and welcoming RHPers at the Sundowner meet when I was working in Perth. A nice little chat we had. I did chat with Ms Catherine too. Interesting person and a hoot. She's definitely out there. 😊 I wonder how she's going and wishing her a good journey.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'Seachange'Don't want to box myself in one label as that's just too one dimensional. A little bit of this and that. Give it a good stir. Voila! A whole lot of lovely mess that makes us who we are. I'm happy to polish off my rough edges when I finally find them constructive for myself not to suit anybody else. I'm too old, too independent and stubborn to please anyone else or their shit. The full, "I am me, I am OK" quote by Virginia Satir that I mention in my profile is right along the lines of what you are saying here except it looks right at it from our point of view rather as a defence against other people. Self-esteem is about what we think. Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Humble people don't go around telling people they should behave with humility. humbleˈhʌmb(ə)l/adjective2.of low social, administrative, or political rank."she came from a humble, unprivileged background"low-ranking, low, lowly, lower-class, plebeian, proletarian, working-class, undistinguished, poor, mean, ignoble, of low birth, low-born, of low rank; Moresynonyms:1.having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's importance."I felt very humble when meeting her"meek, deferential, respectful, submissive, self-effacing, unassertive, unpresuming;modest, unassuming, self-deprecating, free from vanity, hiding one's light under a bushel; obsequious, sycophantic, servile; mim; archaicresistless"her bearing was very humble and apologetic"synonyms:verb1.cause (someone) to feel less important or proud."he was humbled by his many ordeals"humiliate, abase, demean, belittle, lower, degrade, debase, bring down, bring low;mortify, shame, put to shame, abash, subdue, chasten, make someone eat humble pie, take down a peg or two; informalput down, cut down to size, settle someone's hash; informalmake someone eat crow"I knew he had humbled himself to ask for my help"synonyms: The verb definition above seems to describe the definition as I saw it used though. Peachy
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hotdigettydam2
7 years ago
lol its been quite a while since i trawled the forums or even really bothered doing anything other than browsing and logging off lol... but thought this was funny as fuck... definitely could apply some of your mr/mrs 's to a few i remember from here... all in good fun.... i know quite a few people off here that these could apply to as well haha gotta say a huge hello to a couple of the old familiar faces i see in this thread
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RHP User
7 years ago
Awesome post OP if somewhat dark and wounded…which does seem to describe a lot of forum posters. Aging married couple ticking stuff off the bucket list before they kick said bucket, or just become too floppy to draw others into their web…whatever comes first. A touch of Mr/Ms relationship gap year, but they reckon they’ll have a laugh and loads of fun and enjoy their new found freedom. A year in and Ms50+ (Thanks Ms Jonesy) is tired of the cubs one liners, the I was fit 20 years ago couple, and has had the necessary MMF, MFM, FFM experience to feel guilty enough that hubby is growing cobwebs in his inbox. They periodically tart up their profile, because they haven’t quite given up, but suddenly the forums look more interesting that sex with strange people.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'Red_liquorice' Awesome post OP if somewhat dark and wounded…which does seem to describe a lot of forum posters. Aging married couple ticking stuff off the bucket list before they kick said bucket, or just become too floppy to draw others into their web…whatever comes first. A touch of Mr/Ms relationship gap year, but they reckon they’ll have a laugh and loads of fun and enjoy their new found freedom. A year in and Ms50+ (Thanks Ms Jonesy) is tired of the cubs one liners, the I was fit 20 years ago couple, and has had the necessary MMF, MFM, FFM experience to feel guilty enough that hubby is growing cobwebs in his inbox. They periodically tart up their profile, because they haven’t quite given up, but suddenly the forums look more interesting that sex with strange people. I like your style, it made me work for it. You nailed a worthy stereotype with understated concealed savagery. That will sail straight over the heads of quite a few Mr My Wife Cant Find Me A Roots, possibly even your own. Consumate ;)
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Mr Fox AKA Silver Fox Mrs/Ms Fox AKA Foxy Lady 😎 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
was a touch autobiographical I can assure you that Mr has no trouble finding roots, especially from me. My presence sadly deters the ladies who want him all to themselves. Tis the curse of a non-open (albeit non-monogamous) relationship.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Ah Ms Foxy, an astute forum participant who manages to straddle the difficult curve of not taking shit and not ending up in an endless series of moronic bunfights with petty people who can't let things go. She's of exceptional vintage with timeless appeal, she doesn't need rebrands or gimmicks, what she is what she is. She glistens in the sun, presumably from sex. One likes to imagine that she handles herself in the bedroom much the same as she does in the forums. Sliding through into tight situations with all the competence of a smoothly lubricated operator. * Now Fox, I know this one is a bit brief. Most of my others were composed after vigorous research of either being the subject or sleeping with them repeatedly. If you would like to collaborate in such a research project please let me know ;)
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
Whiny Couple They use their time on the forum to moan about how hard it is to meet the mythical unicorn for their hot threesome fantasy despite having an incomplete profile with only pictures of the female of the couple. They become defensive when this is challenged by simple forum folk who want to state the obvious. Their profile is peppered with statements such as NO TIME WASTERS. Their other main gripe is the disgusting sub culture of single males who despite their clear demand for NO SINGLE MALES continue to send them messages such as "Hey Hunni want 2 ride me 2nite" and begging for pictures for their personal wank bank. Naive Couple. They delve into the world of swinging without any idea of the parallel universe they are about to enter. They want to add some spice to their relationship. With bright shiny eyes they send forth messages and eagerly check their inboxes. They find a suitable candidate, a sexy couple that tick all their boxes and after numerous KIK chats without telephone confirmation or clear face photos they book themselves in for a weekend away that they pay for. They wait with baited breath and eager loins for their Prince and Princess to come yet soon find they have been ghosted and left to foot the bill. They comfort themselves with a dirty weekend away together and the chance for her to wear her new sexy lingerie without the kids banging on the door every five minutes. So even in the midst of failure, they find success. They can comfort themselves with the fact that there only seems to be about a 10% success rate of all parties being mutually attracted so they probably dodged a bullet. Clearly you can tell which one of the aforementioned groups I am. Someone with this much time on their hands to write this is clearly not organising sex dates and /or salacious hook ups any time soon. But it was a pleasant way to pass my time so namaste.
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
😍 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'EarthQueen' Whiny Couple They use their time on the forum to moan about how hard it is to meet the mythical unicorn for their hot threesome fantasy despite having an incomplete profile with only pictures of the female of the couple. They become defensive when this is challenged by simple forum folk who want to state the obvious. Their profile is peppered with statements such as NO TIME WASTERS. Their other main gripe is the disgusting sub culture of single males who despite their clear demand for NO SINGLE MALES continue to send them messages such as "Hey Hunni want 2 ride me 2nite" and begging for pictures for their personal wank bank. don't forget the sub-class of Whiny Couple who are always viewing single male profiles, maybe multiple times per day, despite the NO SINGLE MALES, SINGLE MALES WILL BE BLOCKED littered throughout the profile. 🤔
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RHP User
7 years ago
Great additions, very well observed. I don't have much experience with couples on here and you have filled that gap comfortably. Your writing style flows effortlessly. Do you have anymore? Namaste
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RHP User
7 years ago
Nice addition Earthqueen 😍 If I had time I'd write for Jaded couple, but the shopping and chores await, besides my kik box is suddenly filling with sexy male pics, so...seeya! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
These types of characters are all over RHP in the online arena. For those like myself who actually get out and step away from the keyboard. Will find some great people to meet in the real world. They are all different people who can have the most open and honest conversations. Some have become life long friends and some have been part of my own sexual discovery. Those who are considerate and remember manners are free and welcome. Will always have a better chance of having a positive RHP experience.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I have a moral dilema with this one, it has been in my head for a while and I have resisted posting up until now. Is this restraint an emotionally intelligent example of cross-cultural respect or is excluding this stereotype from satire a passive micro-aggression manifestating latent racism? I know it's probably the former but I can't get it out of my head and I rate a 7/10 at best on the moral integrity scale so I'm going to pretend its the latter... Ms Asian Persuasion Her marriage, not so much arranged as it was harangued and guilt tripped by her well meaning tiger mother, started boring and gradually got worse for Ms Asian Persuasion. She longs wistfully for something different to the biweekly 127 seconds of fury that constituted her previous sex life. Her estranged husband, again well meaning, had identified strongly with the phrase "it's not the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean", unfortunately his ocean was more an oddly chaotic turmoil than a hypnotically rhythmic sea. Once that first drop of reckless Western hedonism touched her restrained and sensible Eastern lips she knew there was no going back. Rumours of men with the stroke length to do it slow and hard. Men who do not care what their mother might think about that and, actually, rarely think of their mothers during sex. She kissed a girl and she liked it. Like a kid on their first trip to a zoo, a brave new world of unthinkable possibilities intrigues her. She diligently crafts her profile, medium length considered and informative text and OMG a gallery of her beautiful figure in excellent lingerie, this girl has taste and the worthy ones (or twos or fours) she chooses will not quickly forget.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Mr/Ms PleaseBegMeToStay RHP didn't quite turn out how this person expected it to. They thought they would have queues of people lining up for the chance at the glory, they got a few pic collectors and the occasional wannabe bull. This is what happens when Mr Age is just a number somehow flukes himself a somewhat attractive Mrs, he starts to think he is god's gift swinging. He is not. Maybe people are just complacent. If I make them feel that they have missed their chance at the glory then they will come begging and all will be as it should (so goes the latest ego protecting delusional thought process). So they start a "we're leaving" thread, they're too busy for this of course all these plebs who didn't want to have sex with them are just beneath them and their extraordinarily busy life that's all. Profile views pick up slightly, it's not much but the delusion is strong with this one, people might finally be realising what they're missing. Now to execute the back flip; "we're still here because we can't delete our profile" sure it sounds pretty flimsy but they've cunningly prefaced it with a casual "to tell you the truth" because no-one who says that is ever lying.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I used to think your posts were quite funny but now I think you're struggling a fair bit.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Bumped for carsandsex
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RHP User
7 years ago
Perhaps there is an evolutionary timeline in the titles here, as a couple of years and a few profile name changes later I can recognise my own RHP journey in the various descriptions. Definitely the most entertaining and enlightening forum thread I have read in ages 😂
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RHP User
7 years ago
Deepest How is it I only see this now? This is a funny topic and your satire is finely detailed. Because I don't think I fit into any of your aforementioned categories, well apart from loving the forums, I wonder how you might parody me?
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RHP User
6 years ago
OMG I can identify with this 🤦🏼♀️ damn you nailed it
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