Pleasure and pain.

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  Tall74nHard9

  7 years ago

  We need to remember painful experiences so that we (hopefully) commit them to memory and don't repeat them. Can be related to almost any type of experience throughout our lifetime. Things that have given me some of the greatest pleasures in life, have been the times when my kids were young and raising them (seeing them progress through various steps), and also overseas holidays and enjoying the different cultures abroad. Tall

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  Agree with TnH's comment about survival. The older we get, clearly we experience more from which we learn and develop - painful and pleasurable. My partner and I strive to commit to memory all the great memories, we wake up and discuss "3 things that we love and appreciate" and we tell our kids everyday 'HAVE FUN". We all know that tomorrow life, health, happiness, etc can be taken away from us - so our years have taught us to focus on happiness, positive attitude and great fun with real friends. HAVE FUN!

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  MsSuperFoxy

  7 years ago

  This maybe odd to say, for me death brought me both pleasure and pain at the same time. When my father passed away, I felt this urge of relief and happiness when he passed away (I was with him), then turning to mum and stated, "What a relief he's not in pain and has no more cancer. His soul lives free of it", followed by the agonizing pain of a broken heart and soul. Death can be a very beautiful thing but painful at the same time. Ms Foxy

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  It leaves trauma, and lessons worth remembering. Happy to say from the decade plus some of living a traumatic existence I have outstanding memories that are good for love and a laugh. The Hills above ground pool, that was dug into the ground in a hole lined by corrugated iron. You wouldn't get away with that these days! An outstanding, hilarious memory. And the friends who were also neighbours who I spent so many hours in the pool with. Still friends to this day even after a big gap apart. Funny how they featured in my dreams and last night's was a particularly clear one I still remember. Speaking of memories... From the opposite direction how is it despite severe trauma, so many people still seek and find memorable experiences? Cheers, 🍑

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  To me, and my childhood and teenage years were interesting ones to say the least, I have far more wonderful memories (from adult life onward) than those that came before. I seldom think of the bad memories, my adult life has been one of mostly fun, love, good friends, alcohol (not too little not too much. Okay sometimes too much) and amazing experiences.

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  I'm with tall and hard on this. It seems that the joy I get from my kids makes me forget about all the bad that goes on

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  madotara69

  7 years ago

  Maybe a sense with the painful memories are of non closure, 'why...?' I listened to a talk back program on the ABC radio about this topic, it was suggested that to have closure with painful memories recurring, it can be as simple to take responsibility and find closure by allowing, 'letting it be one's self the reason'. It does not matter whether right or wrong is in reality, just closure can be accepted and further move on without aggregation of the past torment. Songs often remind me of the fond times in the past, 'Fade to Grey" for example MissQ, like it was yesterday and clear as a bell chimes, takes me to the very first day I spent with Tara, driving in her car, it was raining and she was drifting on every turn she made while the cassette played our song, I was and still 'in love' fearless then, these days I am petrified when Tara is driving lol. Mado Mado Tara xx

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  AnnieWhichway

  7 years ago

  Is waking up each day. Despite the work aspect that follows, is the opportunity to be alive. Which allows us to remember those great things/ moments. For without the moment to be alive, our memories are gone with our passing. Great to be alive this Australia day, working on some awesome memories

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  Hawt1

  7 years ago

  Pleasure.. simple time with family. When I was a little child examining my father's beard stubble.. asking him does that hurt.. the prickles in your skin. Laugh a lot at that memory. Making love to the girl of my dreams knowing she was carrying our child, I died the little death that night. My son's achievements as he grew into a good man. Mums Christmas cake (I finally got the recipe out of her)!!! Selfish pleasure, getting away out bush, with or without company.

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  I'm currently seeing a psychologist and doing what they call "narrative therapy" which means we're dissecting my "life history". Stuff that I'd conveniently forgotten is being dug up and shown back to me, I handled it the first time, can I do that again?As Oblio said said you see what what you want to see...You hear what you want to hear!

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  AnnieWhichway

  7 years ago

  As a survivor of therapy, one thing that is constant in the mental health world, for us older patients, is that when you spend so many years with behavioural responses to our past and present situations, the responses become embedded within our cortex. No amount of sessions can unravel that. You may consciously inhibit, temporarily change for the immediate response but long term we return to our ingrained habitual responses. They dont tell you that. They are happy to take your money, make you feel nice for a few days afterwards after you get over the head cluster fuck session.each week or fortnight. If you aren't a serial killer then best accept your inner self and try and enjoy life. All the best

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  I'm fond of mindfullness as an approach that is gentler to the soul and allows us not to delve to deeply into what has gone before but to focus on the now and look at the messages we send ourselves. I feel like this ties in with your last sentence. Peachy

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' As a survivor of therapy, one thing that is constant in the mental health world, for us older patients, is that when you spend so many years with behavioural responses to our past and present situations, the responses become embedded within our cortex. No amount of sessions can unravel that. You may consciously inhibit, temporarily change for the immediate response but long term we return to our ingrained habitual responses. They dont tell you that. They are happy to take your money, make you feel nice for a few days afterwards after you get over the head cluster fuck session.each week or fortnight. If you aren't a serial killer then best accept your inner self and try and enjoy life. All the best All good there Annie thanks, I'm sure you're an expert on this. I remember Catherine saying how her trick cyclist thought he was getting more benefit from their (bulk billed) sessions. None of this coming out of my pocket directly, firstly EAP, employee assistance program, and then onto 10 sessions on a mental health care plan...Like most of us who clocked up some time I've had some adverse circumstances, I've risen to all the challenges and got up again from most of them. Feel for me if you will but don't ever feel "sorry" for me!The point I wanted to make was about the narrative therapy. I was asked to write my life history for my psych, on my first session with this I got through my formative years, second session got through to my early thirties (80's), time and energy ran out when we discussed a spate of suicides in the 80's.Narrative therapy involves me reading my bare bones history of my life to the psych, she then asks me about what I've just read. She writes down notes from my response and then we discuss that, ping pong ping pong. I'm a bit curious about it this and just want to get a bit of help to understand who I am and how I got here.The major trigger in using this service goes back to late 2016 when a sequence of significant dramas crapped on my family. The stress levels involved were pretty high... Next month we'll have crossed a very important, and final bridge on one particular issue.So the levels of pleasure and pain are on a great wave pattern, strap on ride that roller coaster baby!Life is for living and live it we must.Take care of your mental health people.

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  I'm not a serial killer... Peachy, counts her lucky stars... Twinkle, Twinkle, a new ear worm for you Mojo.

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  countrytouch82

  7 years ago

  If I make you smile you'll remember it for a while. However if I punch you in the nose you'll remember it the most... :p

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  In many ways...... it can be a choice. If I ask you what is the last happiest memory you can recall..... you’ll tell me If I don’t ask about a painful one.... you won’t tell me. Similarly you can hack your brain by choosing the through frame you want to live within We’ve all heard the phrase or song Don’t Worry Be Happy Sure, it’s simplistic.... but do we really want to choose more complication in our lives ? Stuff happens. We dwell, or we deal. And dealing with a challenge provides opportunity to chosose to frame overcoming the challenge as a victory

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  I always hated the ignoring of reality in that song. I tried not worrying for years till it fell to shit. Apparently denial is thing, who knew? Robin Williams featured on the clip... R.I.P. 'Nuff said, Peachy

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  usrightnow_Again

  7 years ago

  Mojo., understanding the past, as your reality, and accepting that, is Always important. We both really felt for you when we read these posts some weeks back. Sometimes, as part of understanding, processing and moving forward from events and circumstances, it's important to see, ascribe perspective to and have awareness of, as well as give recognition to, the genesis of those aspects of our lives. Sometimes we just miss that, we don't see it initially, nor realise how it may relate to subsequent behaviour. This applies also, to each significant moment we remember subsequent to that. Even things that seem inconsequential can have played a role, no detail is necessarily too small. .. To face a past, is a brave thing to do. Insight can deliver you freedom from obstacles and barriers. Never be afraid to engage with that process. For such therapy to be beneficial, it Is important that you be honest and open, and from what you've said, you've done that, so kudos to you. The other thing that is crucial, is a comfortable and good working relationship with any therapist. This can take a few tries, however, when it works, it can work well. .. We wish you all the best with it. .. Mr. & Mrs. urn. .

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  Tuesday is psych day, she's pretty good and she likes me, I'v got some extra sessions through work and my GP has put me on a mental health care plan so I should be able to complete this mission. Heck if there's time left we might even get to discuss my sexuality, but I'm not fussed about that, I've never been comfortable about it.I've been through a bit in my life and it's nothing compared to what a lot of others have been through. Remember that song, there's always someone somewhere much worse of than you are. As always, count your blessings!I'm just hoping that 2019 sees an exit to the tunnel...

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  ITM

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