Pressure to cum changing the vibe.

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  RHP User

  9 months ago

  I know first hand how a partner can feel it is them. Not too long ago I was seeing a lass and she was adamant I did not find her attractive as I was taking a while to cum. Not like I didn't instantly rise in her presence but that wasn't enough. Now I don't know if it was because she had not had this with other partners or not but she was feeling ugly within herself. And there was nothing I could say to help. Not even letting her know I was not concerned if I didn't cum as I love extended play in the same way you speak of. Needless to say our time together was not ongoing for long :)

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  Sawadee

  9 months ago

  I think we all have times when we felt pressured to cum , even if its self imposed.. Once it becomes mental and the question keeps circling the mind , it becomes a toss up . I agree with yout take , its about the journey and not always the peak... The downside is when your partner feels they didnt do it for you , convincing them otherwise isnt always easy...

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  NeoAndTrin

  9 months ago

  Now that I have what I classify as a superpower where it can take ages to cum, yes there is still a little bit of pressure when Trin wants me to. But I know it's often because she's had enough and is feeling a bit tired and just wants her trophy. So I do understand totally where you're head is currently at Primal...

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  Thesunlovingsub

  9 months ago

  Big yes to this…I love that other women can cum on demand or frequently in one sesh, but I also hate the irrational feeling of failure or disappointment that I can’t. I usually mention this topic before dates, and reiterate that while my pleasure is important I might not cum at all, and like you said I’m there for the journey not a destination. That being said I find a lot men give up too easy, as often the goal of making me cum is centred around appeasing their own ego, and not my overall enjoyment of the experience together. My worst experience was with a guy who I’d seen on multiple occasions who got lazier each time, and basically just told me to do it myself if it even occurred to him that I hadn’t. Orgasm pressure can get in the bin, but mutual curiosity about what makes sex enjoyable can stay on the top shelf. Great topic.

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  Alex_Lover

  9 months ago

  I agree, if/when someone says they want me to cum now, I then find it much harder to cum. And if there's time limit... ie we have to leave in 10mins, you need to cum before then. Almost no hope for me. In addition, the longer the play session has gone on, without cumming, the harder it is to cum. Cumming after 3 hours of playing can be rather difficult for me at times. At the same time, I generally care very little if I don't cum in a given session. Although that depends up how soon I'm seeing this partner again. If it's not for a while, then yes I really want to cum with them. If it's in a few days, next week. No big deal... as long as we both had HEAPS of fun, and she came as much as she wanted to. - Alex

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  Cucknshells

  9 months ago

  When initially chatting with someone they might ask if I cum multiply times and I let them know that for me it is the journey not the destination. I rarely if at all come from penetration or manual clit stimulation. It just the way my body works and also a mental one. I find it hard to completely let go. I usually use a bullet to reach climax. I completely understand the appeal. To bring someone to climax is very hot and visually and physically stimulating. However, it's not a reflection on the other person. I have been with a man who couldn't come. He had been under a lot of stress and couldn't climax. It didn't bother me at all. The only disappointment was my husband was looking forward to cleaning up. :-) Shells xx

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  Andrea_Sydney

  9 months ago

  I have been in that situation. For me it can happen when a man misinterprets my arousal curve and goes down on me too soon. I have amazing outcomes at extending plays. But at more casual encounters, that’s harder. And then I feel bad in the moment, similar to how you are describing it, like I want to reward his efforts with a good orgasm. Especially seeing that the guy is just trying to be a good lover, she comes first and all. I say I want it later, or that I’m not ready for that yet, whatever. But in the end, once I said that, I feel that internal pressure to get highly aroused faster and - then it’s harder… I have the best outcomes when play is extended, non-rushed, it’s less goal oriented. Things are done that are not designed to lead to orgasm. Then I get to extreme arousal points where I have to restrain myself so I don’t come too fast. With edging I can amazing multiples. With early-on finger or tongue play, I struggle getting there. So very different outcomes, depending on how play is approached.

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  Unleash

  8 months ago

  If a women asks you to come she is done.

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