M60 F45
Put a little thought into being serious
March 03 2019
Comments
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teamaj2
7 years ago
TWNL Good morning ! Hope you managed to still have a good weekend ? I could be wrong but I think your scenario or something quite similar has happened to a lot of people . Disappointing and rude as it is , this happens not only here but on every dating site . We had the same thing occur a few years ago. We were all worked up for a fun night of drinks and the hope of more if we were all happy. It’s unfortunate but you can’t make people be polite and do the right thing. Hard not to take it personally I know . Maybe , look at it in a different way ? They obviously weren’t people you would want to meet anyway ? Goodluck in your future endeavours .
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
It intices a pursation of group pack mentality towards people, because your expectations were not met. Ask yourself, would you like it done to you? This "couple" was visiting for themselves. Yes, they can change their minds because they can. Not only that you were probably not the only people they were talking too. Other people most likely caught their attention. Always have a plan B back up. Ms Foxy
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teamaj2
7 years ago
Well said superfoxxy ! I totally agree
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RHP User
7 years ago
WA would succeed from the rest of Australia,You could have Prince Leonard or his son Prince Graham as your King. As for people not turning up,it is a common problem not just on here but in other areas of life. Why do people do it? Because they can.Perhaps you had a lucky escape,would you want tp spend Tim with such rude people.? The Queen of Queensland Queen Q Hugs xx
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RHP User
7 years ago
Meant time not Tim
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RHP User
7 years ago
Sadly there’s nothing you can do in this situation. The disappointment and the let down is real and unfair. I’ve come to realise (after we have been let down multiple times) that at any given point in time people will be in more than one conversation seeking a potential meet on one night. What it then boils down to is who sparks their interest the most I guess. Regard for what that other profile has to do to be free doesn’t seem to be given much consideration - it’s about having options in case such and such falls through. This isn’t the way we approach things. Plan b is great for when you are drinking and don’t want to drive home from the pub but not when you’re playing with people’s emotions and expectations and hopes have been raised and promises to meet made. I do understand it’s part of it and dealing with the disappointment is required but it’s not my most liked part. If you’re choosing to want to meet with someone they should light your fire.. make you excited and antsy to see them.. not be in a list of people you’ve half agreed to meet. I am sorry this has happened to you and I feel your disappointment. Sadly it does happen (more frequently than you’d imagine), keep your chin up and keep looking - you’ll find someone who will be glad you spent the time and effort on them and it will make it worthwhile. Mxxx
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countrytouch82
7 years ago
Having a name and shame system just leaves people open to abusing it, some will make actual false allegations; some people that are just nasty and vindictive. This occurs in the public eye too through the media and individuals, which is why we have to have defamation laws, although the social damage can't be undone. It is hard to know if a certain person deserves a bad review like a restaurant without knowing more, and if they are 99% bad or only 1% bad. I know I've probably stuffed up at times with dating or messaging etc, but having a publicized "bad review" would quite literally kill off any further chance of dating in the future, at least from people on the site where the "bad review" exists. Interestingly a similar site SH has a type of social rating system, where you can give positive and negative scores based on your mutual contact and interaction with people. Not that great for men in this case because it requires actual communication to occur (replies, meetings etc) haha, I'm stuck on neutral having no data either way. But the point is moot because even if you get some sort of bad review it is very easy to just simply delete and start a new profile.
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RHP User
7 years ago
When we are planning a meet I prefer to not have a plan b. Once I connect with someone I kind of put all my energy into that and wanting that to happen. I do understand that it is part of life, that numerous conversations are happening and that the most suitable will be selected for a face to face meet. I’d hate to feel like a plan b so never want to make anyone feel like this either. For me I guess I still need to learn to not invest all of me to one conversation and one connection.
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
It's a cunty thing to do. I haven't had it happen to me and I dare not do it to other people. But that's just me. Heaps of other nice people out there to meet, their loss. ❤️FF
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Tall74nHard9
7 years ago
it also boils down to lack of what now might be referred to as "old fashioned" manners - respect, courtesy and being polite.The have contacted yourselves and you have replied and made all the necessary arrangements required to be able to carry out the expected meeting. Their lack of 'manners' has inconvenienced you in a number of ways. Unfortunately it seems to be the accepted manner here on site with regards to communication, rather than the exception.As well as increasingly in the real world. Tall
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RHP User
7 years ago
As a Queenslander I often wonder why Australia has not seceded us. I mean we are pretentious calling ourselves the 'smart state'. We are retrogressive in that we refuse to align with AEDT. We opt instead for AEST which, because we are so smart, I am quite surprised we haven't recoined AEQT. We are enduring with our 'if you haven't placed your order by 7pm - you're not getting fed' dining in the suburbs philosophy. And we tour interstate and have the gall not to front up to hotel rooms to get kinky with strangers.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Hahahaha...... sounds like the other couple actually dodged the bullet here🤣🤷♀️ 🗣🗣QUEENSLANDER
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RHP User
7 years ago
FFF That sounds like a rather unnecessary assumption about the OP who got stood up by a couple who didn't have the decency to say that they'd changed plans.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
KJ.... yeah but nah. Simple off hand remark to the OPs, "Should Queensland even remain part of Australia?" Comment.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
GetMePlease..... I'm very glad we've dug our heels in on the Daylight Savings issue...... we wouldn't cope with it up here in FNQ lol
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RHP User
7 years ago
BTW I'm being facetious. That is shitty what they did.
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RHP User
7 years ago
It amazes me how people explain away this sort of behaviour, accepting it as OK because to me it's not. The problem with the name and shame scenario is the he said she said potential which is why I support validations as a tool to see that people are genuine and do turn up whatever is written there. Pretty clever OP I thought BTW funny! You were asking for some ire from the QLDers though 😂 😂 🍑 🦪 West Aussie extraordinaire
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RHP User
7 years ago
Although you may be justified and truthful, others may not be. It may also lead to other horrible things like - rate my fuck. No good can come from any of this. Speak up when things are good and learn from the rest.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'FatFunFiesty' GetMePlease..... I'm very glad we've dug our heels in on the Daylight Savings issue...... we wouldn't cope with it up here in FNQ lol As an ex-Queenslander, I remember when I left a quarter century ago the debate about daylight savings was just as lively then. I always loved how the most common argument I heard on talkback radio against DST was ''my chooks would get all unsettled'' . When I travelled through QLD a few years ago, for the first time in about 15 years, I was shocked at the still-blatant outright racism toward aboriginal people. I had completely forgotten a particular catchphrase that was often used to describe how ''best'' to ''deal'' with them until I heard it uttered (with muttering agreement) at a pub. I nearly fell over. A monument built to remember a massacre outside Mount Isa is continually defaced and vandalized, still to this day. Nudity is still not permitted. Nudist beaches don't officially exist. Ah, Queensland.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Haha Okey.... I definetely agree with elements of your statement (Spent time in the Isa many moons ago lol). Having been an expat in a few other countries for many years I just love being back in QLD, and FNQ is God's country and been a fantastic place for us to settle back in Australia with our children.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'FatFunFiesty' Haha Okey.... I definetely agree with elements of your statement (Spent time in the Isa many moons ago lol). Having been an expat in a few other countries for many years I just love being back in QLD, and FNQ is God's country and been a fantastic place for us to settle back in Australia with our children. It is beautiful up that way, a very unique cultural landscape though. Very much Katter country. I love the simplified view of the world in your typical North Queenslander, yet it is also maddening.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'FatFunFiesty' GetMePlease..... I'm very glad we've dug our heels in on the Daylight Savings issue...... we wouldn't cope with it up here in FNQ lol There's a lot of things up here in NQ that shit me, but DS would be awful here. They did a trial years ago and it wasn't popular....when you already have such hot, humid, long days in summer making people spend even longer in the daylight hours is a bit ridiculous. Obviously a lot in the SE corner want it but that's one of the issues with having such a big state. Of course, I'm one of those rare people who isn't a huge fan of DS in general, my recent stints down south confirmed that To the OP - yes it's a shitty thing they did. Like others I don't support a system of naming and shaming though, as it's just too open to malicious use.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Haha Okey..... we've still got too many crocs for Katters liking lol..... what a nong 🤠
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RHP User
7 years ago
Is it Fuck NQ or Far NQ? Crocodiles living and lurking. Beaches so beautiful but are only a mirage because you can't swim in them because of the box jellies. Humidity dialled up to 100% nearly 100% of the time... I wouldn't call that God's country. As for daylight savings I'm convinced Qld'ers don't mind sleeping through their 'curtains fading' at 0500hrs but just don't want to have to watch them fading if we dial the clock forward am hour. I am remaining facetious. I respect your views. I just don't agree with them. Queensland. We just introduced the Termination of Pregnancy Act in December 2018. Prior it was a criminal offence. We are amazing. We finally got a Multicultural Recognition Act in 2016. Look at us go - so inclusive. Grade 8 is now the second year of high school and although my kids were long done with school when these changes came in, you'd think it was our idea. We are so great. One day we might pull our socks up and rename Boundry Street/s to Aboriginal names so we can reconcile horrid history. Queensland nurses are the best paid in the country. So allelujah for that positive. Lastly people should not stand others up. If people make commitments to meet each other they should honour them or have the courage to cancel.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Rather than a name and shame why doesn't rhp offer the option for two profiles to confirm a date, once confirmed then you're giving the consent to be reviewed, reviews won't be personal, just a confirmation that you all attended the date and then a 5 star rating, couples who regularly do this will soon see their rating plummet and if you come across a profile that doesn't want to confirm a date then you know not to expect anything and you can have a plan B option.
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Sawadee
7 years ago
Would be great if it worked as it should .. But it cant.. There are those who'd abuse it and the innocent who would suffer.. If only ?
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bonefide
7 years ago
Crocodiles living and lurking. Beaches so beautiful but are only a mirage because you can't swim in them because of the box jellies. Humidity dialled up to 100% nearly 100% of the time. The NT has great beaches, Plus not many sharks off our beaches, as the crocs got em all. Understand your comments yes Qld is a great place, however it’s the people combined with the area that make it livable and enjoyable. Like the saying It’s not the place its the people in the place. NT has cold weather, (occasionally) I once remember a few yrs back it got down to a freezing 14 deg in the dry season. LOL
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bonefide
7 years ago
Bad planning on the other couple side, prior planning prevents piss poor performance, but as other have stated you may have dodged a bad night. Best wishes in your future endeavours.
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curiousmrs
7 years ago
Unfortunately it happens. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your reaction. We’ve had a few let downs, but if nothing else me and mista have a nice date night out together.
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RHP User
7 years ago
We should get Mr. Trump over her to bulid a wall to keep the canetoads(queenslanders) in 😂
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countrytouch82
7 years ago
...is normally your partner, or any swinger or fetish clubs if anything is open at the time? Other people's plan B is their hand haha. On a more serious note, some people don't quite appreciate the amount of effort it might take you (eg a couple with kids) to even go on a date. Maybe you did tell them all your efforts, but I would make sure they definitely know all you have had to do well in advance, and make sure they are not just assuming you have just simply been able to "rock up" casually at an already convenient time, which might have been quite simple for them, but wasn't for you. Saying to them, "look, we have to do this, and this, and this, and this, in order to meet up. We're happy to do all that, but please confirm again now that all is ok to go ahead so we can finalise the plans etc". Interestingly sometimes it is the fault of a third party; one couple I know had to cancel a pre-arranged evening with some men, within hours of meeting, because their babysitter cancelled! Another party a few years ago now, was cancelled while I was on route! (Lucky for me I checked my phone/messages while I was driving, or I would have turned up to nothing). As for being stood up, I once re-engaged conversation with a woman who stood me up on a date the first time, and managed that date after all the second time (albeit months later). I figure if I wish to have the benefit of the doubt or the benefit of a second chance granted to me, then I have to be prepared to extend it to others. You don't have to grant it of course, if you're legitimately pissed off, but the name and shame thing is a step further that can seem just like acting in spite/revenge.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Cane toads ate with cockroaches :) Hugs Q
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RHP User
7 years ago
Meant mate not ate
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Tasmania! At least we don't need a passport to travel interstate. 😁 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
KJ - lol. Good one. Trump wall. I like. I often use that saying but refer to it in a different context. Bonefide - Darwin scares me just about as much as FNQ. Furthest north I've been is Karumba in Qld - sitting in the pub in the evening and big signs saying 'stay away from here' due to the crocs. A boat trip to see the crocs and there are crocs everywhere! I have a dear friend in Darwin and she'd love me to visit but yeah/nah I'd rather head south. Only comments I've been serious about are the one's about leaving people high and dry. The rest about Qld, my own state, are facetious but kind of true also. lol.
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Philauscouple
7 years ago
We like meeting new playmates at swinger clubs. Only serious players will agree to meet there and if they dont show up, you have plan B-Z ready to go. Of course not all people are ready to meet at a swingers club so you need to be flexible but then thats the risk you take. R&L
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bonefide
7 years ago
Just a question or two 1. had u been corresponding with this couple for a while ? 2. Or was it short notice ? Reading your post yes it does seem like you did this over some time, i only say this as you mentioned work roster. It’s still a pissoff have moved shuffled and adjusted your routine to match or suit this visitors and they turn out to be a disrespectful couple. GetMePlease I think your friend in Dwn would make your trip memorable, and both areas are similar but different if u get my drift.
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RHP User
7 years ago
And I agree with Peachy.Arseholes
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RHP User
7 years ago
Agree it's bad manners. Typical in today's society. Only problem with the name and shame scenario is it would be abused and probably more popular than anything else on here. The one probability not mentioned is that the profile is fake. Like you OP we require a little planning and don't have the freedom some have to just meet at the drop of a hat. Hope you have more success in the future.
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RHP User
7 years ago
But its incredibly bad manners and I think, arrogant. After getting ready for a date and then realising it wasnt going to happen I made a rule to myself. If there is no communication on the day of the date, I dont turn up. Ive told any potential meets. It has saved me going to any trouble a couple of times. Unfortunately some people develop superstar status on here { in their own minds}.
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LeoQueen
7 years ago
OP - I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. As another couple with kids we feel for you when it comes to planning a play-night. A lot goes into the advance planning which some people choose not to appreciate. I agree with most of the respondents - what happened is just plain rude and it should not happen. I disagree with making a Plan B - why would you do to someone else what you dislike happening to you? Perhaps we have been lucky to date, but we have a very simple qualifier which you might want to try. We demand a phone chat, between the girls, before any date is agreed. It may sound simple, but to date it has always worked. I think it is part of human physiological makeup that once we have made a connection (even the brief connection of a phone chat) people are less inclined to hurt the other person. We also think that we learn more about someone in just a few minutes on the phone than in weeks of mindless Kik or email banter. So, for what it's worth, we recommend you always demand a phone chat prior to the meeting. Of course some people won't agree to it (it certainly weeds out the fakes) and that's their prerogative, but then they won't get to meet you - so that's their loss, right!
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jualfun
7 years ago
Yep happens all the time only because they are non genuine players.What works for us is getting the two girls to chat a few days before meeting and organise the final arrangements.If they don’t want to give you there phone number then they are time wasters. Doing it this way has always worked out excellent.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Maybe a rating system of profiles?
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RHP User
7 years ago
We have been stood up a few times. Sucks because of the planning involved with young kids etc. But you have to accept thats the way it is sometimes. For us it means fun together and a night out and in with no kids, which is always a great night anyway. Pretty rude though when they dont let you know and just don’t show up.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Plan B backup, whats this meanBut yes, we have been caught in this web, more that once, and unfortunately there are people like that on these sites.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Fucking disgraceful, rude and disrespectful. "Made other plans" my arse. Its no wonder people get turned off this site. No plan B was required, you got fucked around instead of fucked..
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RHP User
7 years ago
Yeah naming and shaming is pretty fucked up especially on a forum, sux they changed plans but that’s just life unfortunately, if your quick to name and shame in public I suspect they may have dodged a bullet with u guys, imagine the shaming if they were duds in the sheets
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RHP User
7 years ago
We have experienced quite a few situations like that, all costing us money in the end. Whether it is hotels or driving 3 hours only to be stood up. We feel your pain and echo your sentiment. Even if you are uncomfortable or unsure, just say so. You'll find people are satisfied with honesty even if a little frustrated and disappointed. At least they won't be angry for lost funds or the unrepayable, TIME!
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RHP User
7 years ago
I’ve been very lucky then. Never been stood up nor have I ever stood others up. I have changed my mind once however and let them know days in advance and got a rebuke for that. So on balance my view is ‘we are all entitled to change our minds and should treat others the way we would like to be treated.’
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RHP User
7 years ago
We have just been in the same boat. Was not a big deal we went out and still had a great night and had an awesome play by ourselves. But we are getting tired of being ghosted. A simple message explaining why would go along way. We know we are not perfect but if we dont know what we did wrong how are we to change for the better?. Honesty is the best policy!.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Was it from a verified profile would be my first thought? And it is slack as hell. I see some comment that they can do as they please but they clearly have no respect for people who have to arrange their lives to make this kind of experience happen. Sadly the world is full of people who have no self-awareness. I feel for you both.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Usually once the initial back & forth has taken place we move on to giving a contact Ph No. That alone weeds out if there just cock teasing!! 🤣 Funny thing is? We have been in situations where all is going good, texting.. pictures all of that! We have seemed to establish the fact that they are keen to organise a night.. so what we do is say.... 🤔 no pressure from us, when your available get in contact & we'll tee up a night. Then we never hear from them again? 🤔 What go's there?.. Because we have there Ph No we don't wish to be annoying by pestering them all the time, so to show respect leave that decision to them, that way if they get back to us we know there genuinely interested! Seems to happen all to often 😄 Ps... getting to a point where we're getting lazy at establishing contact & having to tell our story "All Over Again" 😴
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RHP User
7 years ago
The phone number request is in my opinion a generation thing. We only got this asked by couples more than 40 yo. One thing that never helps these couple swap is that one of the couple is mainly the gatekeeper. You exchange messages on RHP, then on kik where the couple share the same account. And when it get serious, probably the other même er of the couple say yes or no. That's mainly how time waste is done. So to all couples, if you share a kik account, you're probably part of the problem too by slowing down the whole process and get yourself in situation where one of you is actually not that interested. All in all, never take being stood up personally. Enjoy!
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RHP User
7 years ago
I’m not sure being a Queenslander has anything to do with this. Common practice for people to be rude and inconsiderate anywhere you go. Accepting ignorant people on any platform is unacceptable. Thank you for your rant. There’s way more ignorant people in this world than decent, considerate, brave, respectful, kind and genuine. RHP’er for 16 years, you never, no matter what anyone says, get use to it. You do learn to live with it and take the wonderful times when they come. My mother always said, when the bad times out weigh the good, give it up:-) As far as a shame board goes, it’s not worth it. Easy to make a new profile.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Very disappointing and lacking common courtesy... Difficult to guard ones self from these situations unfortunately. May future encounters be pleasurable,carefree experiences for you both. All the best Regards Mat
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RHP User
7 years ago
Terrible experience.... Always have a Plan B ,,, and maybe C if you are lucky enough lol
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Letzgogo
7 years ago
Ms Foxxy, you're way off the mark and to accept it and defend it is absurd. You should either follow through regardless of who else you're speaking to or pull out giving the other party enough time to make other arrangements. It's a little thing called common decency.
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RHP User
7 years ago
No one owes you a dann thing!
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Why? Please tell me how way off the mark I am, so YOU can decide for me? Common decency, is never ever putting ones own moral obligations and pressure on anyone, especially when one has never met and it is just exchange of emails. As many have stated (and I have), always have a plan B. That is not being absurd. Ms Foxy.
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vanillanot
7 years ago
WOW what an attack on ‘ALL’ Queenslanders over one couple that stood another couple up and that my naughty RHP friends is why I don’t have a thing to do with Facebook..
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stormn
7 years ago
We live a little distance from Perth so we plan to stay in a nice hotel when we met people and try to arrange a dinner or lunch date. We always plan to go to the clubs afterwards. We have met the most genuine, nice people there. Hope that helps. I’m sorry people can be rude like that.
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RHP User
7 years ago
No arrangements for interstates. Similar thing happened to us, staying away from interstate people solves the problem. Not saying we will never meet people from other states but most certainly not after exchanging few messages. We are happy to meet for coffee and desserts or dinner somewhere and have a chat. No bookings, no arrangements. And if we like each other, sex can wait for the next visit. But we are absolutely not booking anything for people we never met in person. Digital age may have connected millions of people but it also made people more expendable. Don’t worry too much about it, we live in Avery different world now.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Don't assume that you are the only couple that has been contacted. They are obviously fishing, and just like a fisherman or fisherwoman for that matter are looking for he best catch that can be landed. You can't do much about other than make a plan b and if they work out then give give your plan b fish the "we made other plans" but seriously though, organise a sexy night in for you and your partner in crime. Then get lost deep in each other's sexual desires...lol
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RHP User
7 years ago
Is it at possible that you were “too much” and they pulled the plug last second because of it? I don’t mean to sound harsh at all, but the msg we got from you was way too much especially for an intro, then not accepting a “not interested” reply. Either way it’s a crap deal, have been in your shoes more than once.
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twowithnolimits
7 years ago
Quoting 'Elric_esie' Is it at possible that you were “too much” and they pulled the plug last second because of it? I don’t mean to sound harsh at all, but the msg we got from you was way too much especially for an intro, Really? Too much? Just looked at it, it was only ten short sentences over three paragraphs... not even enough for a single meaty paragraph lol :-)We are the opposite we aren't fans of the one sentence messages..gotta any more pics? .... do you guys fuck on a first date?...you'se free Saturday?And even if we were too frank, this is a site for adults, no excuse for not speaking up, no excuse for not being courteous enough to advise someone you have changed your mind...What do others think, what is preferable a well thought out and considered reply or a one or two sentence " tweet"? Is reading a paragraph reply too onerous for rhp members, should we move directly to "hello, lets fuck"?
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RHP User
7 years ago
It was a copy and paste msg. The sort of thing that happened to you is so common it’s almost normal. It’s poor behaviour, rather inconvenient, bad manners but shit happens. Always have a plan B then move on with life.
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RHP User
7 years ago
That's a big shame that happened and not acceptable that they didn't have the decency to let you know especially with everything you had to organise to make it happen. Why wouldn't anyone be interested in playing with you both, you're gorgeous and would no doubt be lots and lots of fun to experience.
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Checker
7 years ago
Common courtesy shouldn't be too much to ask. Poor form IMO. Lots of flakey people around.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi guys. Sorry you had this experience but you are not alone. My Wife and I have found ourselves in similar situations and it is so frustrating. People just have no courtesy these days. Having young kids at home compounds this with the arrangements that need to be made. One of the reasons we switched to a completely open relationship 5 years ago. At least one can have fun while the other takes care of the kids. And if something falls through at least both of us aren’t inconvenienced. (and we don’t have family that can look after the kids so that’s an added cost as well!!). However what I have found even though we are both totally honest and open about being in an open relationship, my Wife has no issues with guys (or girls/couples) netting her on her own. However I hit brick walls with many people who refuse to believe I am in an open relationship and won’t meet accordingly. Equally frustrating!!
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Funtobehad73
7 years ago
I agree fatfunfiesty I live at the gateway to Nth Qld and to be honest it’s a beautiful part of the world and definitely great to raise kids. However I feel it may be time for me to venture south. Though I will miss living on the ocean and watching the whales pass. As for the couple being stood up unfortunately that’s the world we live in. All the best on your next adventure 👍
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