M47 F47

Reality check

August 11 2017

Hello to all the sexy couples and singles ... My wife and I have been enjoying rhp for almost six years now. Married 14. Together 17 years. Our sexual exploitation started very early on with spontaneous 3sums with her girlfriends. They were great and without exception completely trouble free..... We then started here and within first year we'd managed 6-7 foursomes and couple swaps. Both of us were in our element and naturally found our comfortable place. Every play date was different,and learnt something from every one. We grew together as a couple and indivually. Then came the discussion of how nice it would be to find a circle of friends both singles and couples from our social circle who were on same page. The apppeal was being comfortable and relaxed with people we already knew. And focus would be directed towards the sexual satisfaction rather than the uncertainty before a meet with online friends. I agreed but was apprehensive about not having the safety blanket and ability to seperate swinging lifestyle from personal day to day life with kids and business and community. We agreed to explore options by just trying to see if it was actually feasible and if our friends would be receptive.... within days she took her own steps and invited her trainer into our scene and propositioned him for a threesome or a swap with his girlfriend. I was open to it and we all discussed it whenever we ran into each other. Before long it became clear that he never wanted to invite his partner and her focus turned to she wanted to have him alone and why don't I go find a girl and have seperate dates. That was not ever a part of our journey as the appeal was sharing sexual fantasies together. That fell through and she came up with random excuses every time we would be contacted by hot couples from here. Even a few couples that we both fantasised about and both were exactly what we individually wanted... So I took the initiative and initiated things with a friend of mine who I believed suitable and respectful and also fit her type.. when the time came she waited till I left house for a quick servo dash for smokes and drinks then made her move and fucked him. She only told me after he left. It was incredibly erotic for me and we had the best sex that morning. She said she was shy to initiate anything in front of me so agreed that next time I would initiate. Following week got to the same stage and I went in for a kiss and fondle to get things started and she recoiled. She suggested I go out for 20 minutes so she could start comfortably and I would return and join in. I obliged but as I returned they panicked and hurriedly dresssed and before I entered. Nevertheless I persevered and we finally had that threesome although it was mostly foreplay as he was anxious and couldn't perform!! Throughout all of this he and I had daily contact and discussed all things sexual and related to our threesome without any awkwardness. Yet I couldn't get her to engage with me on topic without awkwardness. After sex our pillow talk revolved around erotic kinky fantasies that we wanted to try...always led to more sex!! When I brought up the idea of our next foursome to be with bi couple so we could be all in together pleasuring one another as I was bicurious.. her demeanour changed. The equality of her bisexuality and my fantasy of exploring having another man go down on me or vice versa was completely lost. thanks rhp!! (All the forums about how hot the girls get when the guys are going down on each other and couples sharing another man turned me on.) She never looked at me the same for the last two/three years. Our sexual journey together ended. And she refused to even discuss meeting couples or anything related. Then all the flirting and secrecy started with all the guy friends we socialised with. Sexting and sharing nudes ..etc. all in secret. I found it difficult to process as I believed our openness and sexual freedoms as a couple would've negated the appeal of the discreet dishonesty. I naturally was affected and developed mild depression as watched her slip away. She eventually left me a couple of months ago and cited my withdrawn state as unhealthy for her. Even after when confronted with the details of her transgressions she admitted it all and accepted responsibility and apologised..... but never acknowledged the effects it had on me. My sexual adventure is now my own. My sexual explorations haven't diminished but after 17 years loyal to one woman I have uncertainty regarding how to proceed with experiencing the rest of my fantasies which include threesomes with bi couple, group sex, being a bull for a cuck couple...etc etc. Apologies for the essay. Any insights or anyone had similar experiences ? And how did you re enter the swinging scene as a single? - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

no comment on this one perhaps not all fantasies are really talked bout after all and some could still be taboo or no go zones.. It is kindah like at parties when you ask someone what are they into...the reply is... "everything". We know that that explains not much.

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Sawadee

8 years ago

that's the risk you take when introducing another person into your relationship. Some ppl can act on a fantasy without any fallout and others lose their way.. That's the chance you take...

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MissBishere

8 years ago

I'm not sure how you go about reentering the swinging scene as a single man. I guess you have experience on your side and there are women that would welcome an experienced man to help them with their first forays into swinging. I know I will be always grateful to the experienced married man that was there for my first time at a club and made it a very enjoyable experience. Sorry I can't be any help with advice. Maybe don't have any expectations and just attend the events you can as a single and go from there.

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RHP User

8 years ago

I feel for your situation, the reality is that for some people including me at times it is hard to really express how you feel and things drag onto a worse situation and leaves everyone in a more battle weary state. But you are still quite young and probably at the perfect age to explore life. If I was single I would try to find a partner in crime from what I can see as a great group of women from rhp. If you are on rhp there is a good chance to find someone who is more sexually aware, interested and expressive of their desires. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

I feel so sorry for you, that you were rejected or treated with such disrespect, for your choices or preferences. Let me tell you I am one of the women turned on by guy on guy, and it's not just something I spruke on about here on the forum. If I'd been her, I would have been so bloody excited, guys sucking cock and kissing, I can't put into words how much that excites me, the idea that is, unfortunately I haven't yet seen it, but I will. What I will say is don't blame the website, it's not their fault, and it's not the fault of anyone on the forum. It sounds to me as though she wasn't suited to swinging. How many years had you been doing it and she still had anxiety? That anxiety should have been put to bed back at the start. There was your problem right there. I think she was doung it for you, or wanted to be free to have sex with others, but one-on-one, in her terms, covered that up by going along with the swinging thing? Maybe anyway, just a theory, but she certainly wasn't as open as I would expect someone to be after so many years involved in it. Whatever her issues, they are hers. You now have the chance to explore your sexuality properly, you will be much happier now that you can satisfy your needs. I did feel empathy for you reading that, but I believe what you have in front of you is exciting and positive. Good luck

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RHP User

8 years ago

Feel for you as it's a pretty harsh ending to a long term relationship. There is no way you could have known that going in to swinging no that there would have been this side of you that existed (bisexual) and that it would be a libido killer for her. If she can't communicate about swinging and be honest about herself but also take into account your needs and feelings then I think it's a given that the relationship is going to impacted. The flip side it now that you know more about yourself and your sexual wants and needs it gives you the chance to find a woman who wants what you want and is more compatible with you and finds your bi-sexual side hot hot hot, yes those women do exist - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

Crazy, I too am sorry for how things turned out for you with your long term partner. My libido eventually became the lever for my separation and even though there are kids involved it has all turned out for the better and I don't regret a damn thing. I hope one day you feel that too. On the bright side by embracing your bi side it won't cost you 5 coffee dates and a Lobster and champagne dinner to get a head job.

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RHP User

8 years ago

Wow. It's all a bit interesting. It sounds like she started to lose interest in all things sexual with you involved (in any way). Seems like she suggested you both shop closer to home so she could go one-on-one with her trainer, just not with you around - a trend that seemed to continue. Some women also just don't like the idea of a man being with another man, so that maybe compounded things - although it's odd that she was bi herself, not to mention a little selfish (she can have what she wants but you can't). Was your relationship as a whole starting to go down the chute when this started to happen? It could be that it's just simply the beginning of the end. I'm not saying any of that facetiously, it's sad that you seem to be left high and dry.

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Reality check

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