Relationships and sex

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Nothing wrong at all. You know in yourself that you enough and require a lot of sex to feel yourself and be happy So why should you let "society" try to shame you for wanting lots of sex as if it's some bad thing. Either find someone whose libido matches your own or find a partner who is lower but accommodates your needs though an open relationship etc. A lot of people make the mistake of getting into long term relationships thinking the lack of sex will get better with marriage when it only gets worse and wonder why they get a divorce 10 years down the track cause the mismatch in libido is like a pressure that builds and builds till it boils over. Don't let anyone try to shame you into thinking that sex doesn't matter in relationship or you should just lower your sex drive to suit a low libido partner. If you don't have great sex together or have an allowance for outside play to fill those needs then what are you ..... just good friends ???? But your not in a sexual relationship. Cheers, W. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  QLDtwo4fun

  11 years ago

  You see a few couples at parties and clubs where the male half doesn't play, or doesn't play much. We both enjoy lots of sex, with each other and with others. You sound normal to us.

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  Tall74nHard9

  11 years ago

  has explained it nicely. We all have varying levels of libido / drive, and varying levels of need for satisfaction. If not, there would be no sites like this one. Absolutely nothing wrong with the way you desire. If you aren't getting enough, start sending out emails with your phone number to guys close enough to you... Tall

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  him_and_me

  11 years ago

  I'd say I'm in that boat. Not due to differing libidos as such, but more different levels of comfort in flirting, courting etc. It takes me a bit more to click and feel comfortable with someone or a given situation than it does for Mrs him_and_me. In addition to that, the male to female ratio on the site means that women are more likely inundated with potential play partners where for guys the pickings are somewhat slimer. I am fine with Mrs him_and_me getting more than me. She loves sex with me too, and so I am never left wanting. Other partners are really icing on an already wonderful cake. I understand your predicament though too. I know other people don't play unless their partners do too though so that can make it harder I guess. Keep communicating and working through it. Always be aware of quite strong emotions in this lifestyle and cut each other as much slack as necessary. That is the best advice I can offer. Him xx - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Araps said it beautifully.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Agreed, Araps nailed it. Sexual satisfaction is a massively important part of a healthy relationship. And I am sure is the demise of many, perhaps moreso than any other issue. Your sex drive is a part of you like any other.

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  nattyocean

  11 years ago

  Absolutely agree with Araps and wish id thought to ask myself the same question 6 years ago 😳 when I agreed to and did marry a man with a significantly different libido to myself with a jealous nature to boot. For the last two years of my marriage which I was desperately trying to save, I was extremely unhappy and probably angry (but not an emotion im comfortable engaging in) with one period of time no sex or even basic intimacy for 7 months! my staying power astonishes even me, but it also cost a fortune in batteries! Lol and now 2 months down the track am absolutely sure I've made the right decision and having a great time 😈 and am confident that I will when the time is right find someone who shares the interests I have both inside and outside the bedroom 😄 as I know now I will never compromise myself so much again and what is important for me not anything to do with what society expects 😄 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Normal apparently covers quite a wide spectrum. Men and women both feel this imbalance of libido's.As a woman you will find it much easier to deal with this than than us males will...to be specific you will get more offers of sex than men will.Psychlogically it may not be any easier to deal with, if like me you still love your spouse.Best wishes...

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  And all the wannabe studs have crashed her profile !

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  Plain280

  11 years ago

  Discussed and answered the subject pretty bang on........... now for the C word to appear.Know the situation you are in m, lady, mine brought on by partners ongoing battle with illness with complications and sex understandably is not on the horizon, I love her with all my heart. Yet this libido thing came back to me and we can no longer indulge. So there are alternatives just be careful and be honest about it to yourself if need be, ie if you need to play, yet not destroy your relationship be discrete and society rules are still very Victorian era must all be taken into account to survive this inner primal conflict.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Araps is correct. If you are not having sex in a couple or being otherwise physically intimate with your partner/s, then what is there left to call a physical relationship? Aren't you then just close friends that occasionally kiss? I guess this is what happens as people grow older too, and have less (or no) sex. Yes you have an emotional bond with the other person, but such emotional bonds exists in many ways outside of a typical couple. If you are both happy and over sex because of age or other factors, that's fine because the feeling is mutual. The problems arise when feelings are not mutual. So indeed, even though it is often seen an an overly sentimental term, "making love" (regardless of the presence of actual love) has some accuracy as it shows that regular sex is possibly the most essential part of a physical relationship. Just like regular masturbation if single/solo, the body and all it's hormones and sexual funtionality REQUIRE regular "use". Yes, Mrs Palmer is essential, if no other Miss/Mrs/Mr is available. During the last months of my last relationship, when my partner was no longer being intimate in any way, I was going crazy [read: extremely emotionally distressed] and unbearably in need of at least SOME form of physical intimacy from a woman. I was starting to look elsewhere for it while we were still technically together (not withstanding the low probabilities of success), and so I now have a more personal understanding of why affairs happen. I guess no matter what the relationship (married, swinging, FWB, open, casual, dating), in order for this to endure (if you want it to), sex is essential. More correctly perhaps, both parties HAVE to have both of their needs met, because if one isn't having their needs met and the other half cannot accommodate those needs in any way, there is no future. Which means the communication of your wants and needs to each other, even in the early stages, is critical.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Plain, sorry to hear what your going through and must be really hard for you both :-( You would be thinking I want to be there for your partner and be supporting and not pressuring or nagging for sex but your only human and still have your needs and desires. Can I ask if you you have talked about this with your partner? I totally agree that its not whole black and white and sometimes you have to get your needs met so you can stay committed and loving. Oh and thanks everyone for the kind comments on what I posted . Cheers, W.

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  Lovinit28andKC72

  11 years ago

  And I think I'm reasonably normal.......😜 Nothing wrong with wanting what you want, there is nothing worst than being frustrated, even worst if you have a partner. I've found that especially in a relationship where the other person is not wanting it like you do, it fucks with your head, well it did with mine anyway. Your insecurities creep in, have you over thinking, self doubt.....💋

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Lovinit28' it fucks with your head, well it did with mine anyway. Your insecurities creep in, have you over thinking, self doubt.....💋 Never forget, it's them not us !

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  Lovinit28andKC72

  11 years ago

  Yes I realise that, but they still rear their ugly heads from time to time, that's just me....

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Thankyou so much peoples for your input I feel saner thankyou...and love my high sex drive, back off insecurities I love this life style and communication is the keyI'm applying to work in a sex shop so to test toys ect lol...I have wrecked every one I own.No my inbox didn't crash.And all the happy couples keeping each other happy, I admire you Big hugs warm fuzzies xxx

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  Plain280

  11 years ago

  Heres the thing my partner thinks because of what is happening to her, she is extremely hard on herself, as if its all her fault. It is not never will be and anyone who is faced with this predicament has to internalise what is lets face it unimportant in the overall scheme of things wanting or needing sex as part of this relationship. One thing that happened to me was that after I was given the pass with conditions, I assessed and these needs dropped away quiet considerably. Although I am on this site and yes I look and sometimes get looked at, I do not have this desire to pursue anybody. If I do meet somebody, its for coffee and a chat and possibility of something further on understanding of my personal situation. You change, sometimes given permission to do something outside a relationship makes you really examine your relationship at a higher level. Some people rise and some sink and there is no right or wrong about this other than being true to your own feelings.Hope this has helped. Regards

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