Self improvement

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Casual,   Interesting topic, I must be rare because I am quite happy with myself.  I know I could lose weight, maybe do something about my hair etc but I am honest with myself.  But to answer you questions:   1)  Now why would I want to change what has been my constant companion and play thing since an early age lol 2)  Self confidence, actually don't have a problem there (30 years in the military will do that to you) 3)  Build, as mentioned I would like to lose weight but at 50, I am actually content with myself.   The problem with self improvement is people often try to improve themselves to what they perceive others wants, NOT what they want.  Self improvement should only be made for yourself, if you do it for anyone else you will never quite succeed as they expectations could change.   I am naturally fairly upbeat anyway, it takes a lot to get me down and even then, it doesn't last long.  I made a promise to myself years and years ago that I will not add to the growing ranks of grumpy, unhappy people.  That was probably the best decision I made!   If someone wants me, then they want me, not a set of six packs or a dick transplanted from a horse lol

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I'm happy with the size, but.. like a pack of tim tams - one pack might be awesome and more than satisfying - but having an extra bikky is always tempting and seems like a good idea.self-confidence - I'm happy enough being shy/quiet generally, but for my sport I need to work on being more arrogant and having a bit more "fuck you" attitude.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  ''The problem with self improvement is people often try to improve themselves to what they perceive others wants, NOT what they want.  Self improvement should only be made for yourself, if you do it for anyone else you will never quite succeed as they expectations could change.''Very good point.  All three of my things are generally things I want to improve about myself, but at the same time I want to improve them to please others, or atleast to attract others to me more so.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  @mooka: I guess it doesn't have to be things you're deeply unhappy about, I'm pretty happy with how i turned out. But theres always something you might like to have tweaked(I wish you could edit your posts in here)

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Casual and Sydneyboy - Remember I am at the age that most things are settled and ingrained.  I do have faults (probably pages of them lol) but those faults define me.   To change I would have to admend my own paradigms  and learn a whole new set of rules for myself and to be honest, I can't be buggered lol   Whilst a guy can change the exterior, to me it is more important for him to change his interior.  Remember, most women are more interested in what is going on in a guys head than his pants.  If you enjoy being with women who are conversationalists (and that doesn't just mean they talk alot lol), become more widely read.  Nothing impresses a woman more than being with someone who can converse intelligently on any subject.   Most guys know what type of woman they desire, as we were taught in the military "know the enemy", learn what makes them tick, you might be surprised at the outcomes.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  At our ages,  we pretty much are who we are, all the years of struggles, disappointment victories and heartbreaks have taken their toll and shaped our minds (there is a better word but ....well Alzheimers...now what was i doing...lol) . But i would love to have the guts to go out and do the thing i really want to do.......damn you Mr Responsibility.I would also love to be able to communicate better with the fairer sex! this is still somewhat a mystery to me...lolCheers Nev

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  it's made me what I am today, and I'm pretty happy with myself...warts and all.   though i do need to improve my fitness, mostly in strength training than cardio, I've been extremely slack the last 8 months dropping my exercise to once a week instead of 5 nights a week.   I've got a big dance performance coming up in a few months so need to start training for that, especially as we're planning to do lots of lifts and tricks.   So if anyone can recommend a good PT in melbourne, I'm so unmotivated at the moment, drop me a line.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I think people who are interested in self-improvement are ultimately looking for inner peace, calm, contentment.  I've found that comes more naturally with age and the passing of time (maybe that's why I'm pretty happy haha).  I still have things I would like to change / improve - it's a work in progress always.Still, I've been very interested in personal development from a fairly young age.  Over time I've developed or adopted some personal mantras that help me make sense of life and difficult situations, so, I might as well share them, they might be interesting to others.  Or they might make you yawn ... I don't mind either way :)1) Commitment without attachment - meaning be committed to achieving what you want, but don't be attached to it.  If something happens to divert you from your path to that goal, breathe, relax, accept, adjust.  Life might be putting an opportunity in front of you that is much better than the one you were chasing.  If you get grumpy about an opportunity lost, you might not notice the new opportunity being presented.  This applies to small things eg a missed flight, and large goals.  Remember, life is what happens when you're busy making plans.  Read anything by the Dalai Lama for this.2) Say yes to NOW - whatever is happening right now, in this moment, accept and embrace it.  Then the next moment, and the next.  Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle for this.3) Be grateful for everything that happens to you.  Be especially grateful for any kindness, generosity and compassion that comes your way.  Count your blessings basically.  Read How to Want What You Have by Timothy Miller for this.4) Your thoughts create your reality.  Where your thinking goes, life flows.  From an energetic point of view, whatever you put your attention on will become more and more prevalent in your life.  Your actions follow your thoughts so if you are always thinking about one thing, your actions will automatically orient your life TOWARDS that thing, meaning there will be more of it in your life eg more frustration that you don't have enough time/money/energy or similar.  Read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne for this.5) Masculine/Feminine polarity is essential to sexual attraction.  For sexual attraction to be at it's greatest and to be sustainable between two people, one needs to reflect strong masculine energy and the other needs to reflect strong feminine energy.  Read The Way of the Superior Man for this.6) The purpose of life is to serve others - in all the small and large ways possible, in every moment.  By focussing on what you can give to others rather than what they can give you, you are in the natural flow of life and 'miracles' happen.  Read Invisible Acts of Power by Caroline Myss or Giving by Bill Clinton for this.7) In any moment, always do what is right for you, but do it with love for yourself and others.  Live authentically.  When you do things out of obligation, fear, guilt etc the energy of those things is loaded into your action and has a negative effect on you and/or the other person.  Most self-improvement books cover this idea.8) Change happens when the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of changing.  When you consciously want to change, you need to bring awareness to what is not working, choose to do something different and then do it.  This process can be instant or can take a long time.  Be gentle with yourself either way.  Have read this in so many places and found it to be true always.9) The questions you ask yourself are more important than the answers.  As Socrates said, "...the unexamined life is not worth living".  Once you have asked yourself a question - about yourself, life, what's working, what's not - it is like planting a seed in your mind.  If you pretty much leave it alone and let nature take its course, the seed will grow, other questions will arise, you will automatically reflect and learn.  This one has come from personal experience, though it's not an original idea.and finally ...10) Trust your gut instinct, it's your inner wisdom and will always guide you well.

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