M46
Sex Romance and Love.
February 23 2016
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
That many people have been terribly hurt and that makes them very wary of falling in love again. ..and for the reason,they don't want to experience that kind of pain again. However time is a great healer and often brings wisdom so some people are prepared and open to the idea of Sex Romance and Love 😍xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
this is a great topic so please continue sharing your thoughts with us Without hashing over my sexuality again, I think that's pretty clear to anyone reading the forums, I do still long to find a soul mate. But not for the same reasons many others do I suspect. Sex can go to a whole other level when minds connect or with love in the room, along with lust, which would have to be present of course. I don't have baggage, none whatsoever, nor do I have past hurt dragging me down or holding me back. I'm excited with the prospect of finding that person to fill that spot but cautious also, the heart is a tender organ. I had my heart broken, shattered more like, last year, and I don't ever want to feel like that again. It nearly killed me. I held back for a while, then let myself feel more than I should have, and just fell hard for him. The grieving process was, I don't even have words, I've never cried like that, and hope I never do again. Has this made me frightened of 'feeling' again, no. I have a big heart and a lot to offer, not the least my hunger for sex, but also warmth and I hope I would add a little excitement to my partner's life, or enhance his. I am finding I'm stuck in the online world, I've been rejecting real life advances from pretty hot guys and realising how it played out after I walk away and kick myself. Fear of rejection I suppose, not uncommon. But I also have to say that I'm very happy being by myself, I love my independence and freedom, enjoy my own company, love to exercise which can take up a fair bit of my day, so finding someone would just be an extension of me if that makes sense, or me an extension of them. I don't want to own another person but It would be nice to have a partner in crime and let's face it, regular sex wouldn't be half bad
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RHP User
10 years ago
any two.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You can also argue that our society places far too much emphasis on romantic love as being the means to fulfillment and happiness. We are conditioned from birth to believe in finding 'the one', our 'soulmate' who will 'complete us' and all that crap. Which can go at least partway to also explaining why many people stay in shitty relationships. Also, why many find it so difficult to get over a relationship when it all goes pear shaped.
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RHP User
10 years ago
people have become more disposable these days much like everything else. We have turned into a consumer society bombarded with stimulation from every angle and for every sense. The world of marketing is a mega empire. Sex wise - everything is in our face - TV, movies, billboards, ads for cereal etc. And everyone wants the next big thing - they are never happy - bigger house, salary, boobs, partner etc. if you don't aim high it's assumed you've settled or don't have drive and ambition. All of this is generally speaking of course! But now we don't have to put as much effort into finding sex so to speak. 50 years ago, a man would have to woo a lady. There was an art to courtship. I'm going to get slammed but women wanted less - well they settled for less anyway. Now - women want to be super fit, super hot, financially independent, their own person. And there's nothing wrong with that. I love a bit of romance and you can often find my nose in a Jane Austen novel. It comes to what each individual wants. I would like to think that people will start to slow down a little. Not be as available online, email, mobile etc. start to live more of our lives in the now rather than working on the future all the time. And I think it comes with age also. Once you've experienced the fact that money and things don't buy happiness and don't define you, you can start to look at what's important. Self satisfaction and love. Sex, love and romance are amazing with someone who will live with you in the moment. But romance and love aren't something to be acquired rather they are something to experience. And trying to force it will not get you the result you want. Which is why so many people end up unhappy in relationships. They don't see what's in front of them and only see what they want to see. Rather than appreciating a person for who they are most think they can change or improve their partner. Where's the romance in that? I find most people these days are either selfish or selfless - when they need to be selfull. I don't think I've said what I meant to say clearly but can't be bothered editing and retyoing lol!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks Freya for your comment, seems to me that is lots more action in this part of RHP... exciting!! As I don't get to share this kind of topics with people. I don't know if you can see? maybe, you see there is many things in the reality of the world where we exist and live that tell us; "everything is in a constant fluctuence or movement" there is many philosophies that tell this to us, science quantum Physics ext. most of us we do not enquire in the theme of this acourence in our being "why if we know that we have to move on from pain to relate to love again" we suffer for long periods of time letting the forgetness of the memory to the past of time to move us from that pain... And if anyone can realize, because is a force that we don't have control of and makes that change, every time we come back to memory we realize that the feeling still there and we look away deniying it. Again, we have lost our proper understanding of what's required to heal? To move away from that what course us pain? Again maybe someone can See! It is the fault of love the Origen of that pain? Or is conflict the corse of... And if it is, where is the conflict originated? In our selfs or in the external world of us? Is our personal desires what create that conflict with the person that we suppose be in love with? Hope that we can extend here and many get involve in the conversation, I hope that maybe we can open and undertanding of what's going on in Sex Romance and Love... Ones again thanks for reading. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks for your comment Luck-Dragon. Yes society and its conditions play a big part of the detriment site of our counteractions as a couple, even so, we are or we aren't capable to See this? To see that some patterns of behavior implemented by the society we live in are destroying us? Our relations? And if we aren't, why is that? Is that we like to live in a world of fantasy? Being this world very destructive to our inner being and employment of our understanding of Love? That Love where you fell Free and so happy that takes you in a high fly... Why is that we aren't aware of this? And yes Romance is a big part of our counteractions but I could say that we have lost the true sense of this manifestation. The Romantic moment that bond couples. Any comment on this? AC. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree totally in that society leads up to believe that the person that we marry has to be everything and meet every single need such as our best friend, romantic and sexual partner, share hobbies, be on the same page as kids/no kids the list goes on. There isn't much emphasis that one friend may not provide all our friendship requirements and we have multiple friends. One might be our gym friends the other may be work friends and there is overlap as to things and activities some friends like to do but other don't ..... And everyone is okay and accepting of that ....... But for sex society says you need to get every need met from the one partner and if that partner likes abc but doesn't like xyz then that's too bad and both parties should settle.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Oh boy.. this has gotton me into some serious trouble..When my passions flowed out of my penI would write a poem for the girl...she would believe all the crap I wrote in the poem....believe I ACTUALLY meant it..and then totally forget the other stuff I said about ..NOT being capable of a lasting relationship....It usually got me into her knickers... but caused me such a hard time when it was time for me to get back to my life..Luck_Dragon.."Amen"you said that almost as if you read my mind..fckn "Soul mates"....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks guys for sharing in such of "Free" matter, loving it, lol this is becoming more exciting then hooking up!! Lol "I like to write and I'm free to do so because from me you want nothing" Many people tell me that I'm very deep, and yes most woman are afraid by it. I will say, yes! So... There is not better teacher then the Self, o could add to that that takes such freedom to find such master. The Self Mastering, and there is many quotes about it, here is one: is better conquer one Self then win 1000 battles trying to conquer others, not one can and not one will take away the victory that's in One Self. Back to the topic. I can See where most of us mistake and yes words are so limit and can't describe with acurly what's going on, maybe we can get somewhere together. Is not the moment wen your heart is almost full gived that we are most burnable to become hurt? Please don't get me wrong I have fall victim of this to... I had very traumatic experiences that maybe one day I will share in (Sex Romance and Love Diaries, new topic hot stuff to make you wet) so what I can share here is of what I have come upon after deep meditation in the reality of those moments. So I was writing; So we become burnable in the instant that we give our all? Things we say, things we write, things we tell our selfs within. Wen we look at her or his eyes and we fell so connected that we loose our self, is not that so? We become burnable? And if in those moments things go wrong we can be scar for life? Is not this so? So we become afraid to go back to that place... Why is this? Anyone have any idea? If the feeling of giving your Self entirely is so full of freedom Love! So romantic, so Senxual... Why we run from it? Lest see example; a woman has in her self a divace that will make her forget of birth pain so she will be up and ready for the next child, did you know this? Macanisims inbuilt in our selfs. (Apologies if there is any grama error, my first languish is Spanish and I'm siting outside on the city of Melbourne writing this in my iPhone) Please fell free to ask me to clear things if you will like to expend or extend... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
To be open to love you need to be vulnerable - allowing your core defences to fall down. We've been developing these defences since childhood. How we see ourselves is based a lot on what we were exposed to in our developing years. The more vulnerable we allow ourselves to be, the more we are at risk of being hurt. Why are we scared of being hurt? We are scared of rejection, scared of not being good enough, scared of losing the person in front of us. Our own critical thoughts about ourselves often serve as our "protector" With opening ourselves up to feeling more joy, we open ourselves up to feeling more pain. It's a double edged sword. And in a way having more to lose reminds us of how human we are - we are all mortal. Anyone who has gone through trauma can understand that a certain smell, sound or image can provoke the traumatic experience again. When we have truly hurt from being in and losing love - it's difficult to ignore signs that might be similar to the last relationship. I think a lot of people miss out on the amazing thing that is love because they don't think they could live through another hurt. But we need to realise we are living now, everyday and we are resilient creatures capable of rebuilding. Romance isn't all hearts and flowers. Romance to be is anything someone does for you out of love just to see you happy. Not for their own gain, but because it brings them joy to see you receive joy. Romance is someone making a conscious effort to appreciate you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'SoftandCurious' Romance isn't all hearts and flowers. Romance to be is anything someone does for you out of love just to see you happy. Not for their own gain, but because it brings them joy to see you receive joy. Romance is someone making a conscious effort to appreciate you. - Posted from rhpmobile ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Softandcurious, I love love love your definition of romance! One of the most romantic things my FWB of seven years did to me are simple things that brought me utmost pleasure! - I had a terribly stressful job once and he'd sit at the kitchen window enjoying his beer, looking at the bus stop. The minute he saw me get off the bus and walk towards our block, he would wave madly and jump up and down to catch my attention. The stress of the day just melted away whenever I saw that! - Nestling deep into the couch to watch movies together and getting up during commercial breaks to surprise me with treats he'd gotten from the fridge for me, eg. my favourite Japanese Strawberry Yogurt. - Calling me in the office when I had to work super late at night and it was raining heavily. "I'm coming to fetch you home." Melted me... - Surprising me with little gifts, "just because". - Building bookshelves for me because I am a bookworm with a massive collection of books. The FWB relationship ended a long while back but it still brings a smile to my face. The last time we met after we split, he became teary as he thanked me for helping him become a better man. It wasn't a perfect relationship, and we had fights and awful moments, but we didn't abandon ship at the first signs of trouble and got closer as a result. We probably lasted longer than most marriages these days. Sometimes, people give up too easily at the first signs of trouble. If we'd sit out the storm and patiently and resiliently ride out the waves, there's often a rainbow when the storm subsides.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Vulnerability I will say only can happen wen you are divided from the world or you have the impression to be divided or a separate individual, how can I write this? We all in our capabilities as Human Beings develop many ways of how we reassong in our selfs, and that's writing about a genaral sense or the majority of us, that's most of what we try to describe in this writings, this reasoning has become a source of conflict and that pattern brings fear to our counteractions with eachother. To be in and awareness of what's happening to us takes a mind that's very free of many inner dialog and conflicts, so is free to See what's taking place. Seems that we separate our senses and most they related to our memory, we exist most times relating out percent, interpreting it from the past and basing our emotions on it as in the future... This very little let us take in what's going on now, and for those that have lots of conditions in there life this become a constant conflict with what could be going on in the present. You can point the finger do! Is perfectly understandable why this is happening. Well maybe some of us can realize that life is creation for sure, and we create our reality and sustain it every moment of our existence, and by that definition our personal world is just what we want it to Be. Being so condition by so many ways in our societies we aren't able to See this part of our beings, the part were we can be free... Of much detrimental ways. Yes time and the growth in our life's depending of our personality and willing to exist in what we can call a Happy life take us to learn a bit more about our Selfs and in that way free out Self of patters of thinking that could be conflictive. We all are willing to love and fell loved, to the passion of sex with love and give the soul having it doing it in that moment... Romance more then do for... I could say is the influence that the heart can bring in the expression of counteraction. You see I have seeing that if I think I'm doing for in any kind of presence related to this state of being, I possible can crate expectation and from this could come deception... I have being romantic more times that I can count... And this has not help to get away from conflict, and wen the conflict has become upon you can think, "why I express my heart that way?" To be the result of this conflict, then that romanticism is in risk of being destroy. But how can I? I love it... Brings such of joy to be that way... To hold her hand, to kiss her chick, to see her full of pleasure.... Takes what old mistical guys call some times ; the art of stoking, or a fullness of mind, the way of being aware of your Self and what's truly you. I hope we keep writing about this them. I will come up with new ones son and thanks for sharing and reading. AC. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
To be vulnerable. Is to allow others to see you. Is to allow yourself to fear. , To be vulnerable is a strange and compelling beauty. To be vulnerable is to have courage. To be vulnerable is to take off the armour , is to expose ourselves,is to trust that the other will do the same.
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RHP User
10 years ago
What a beautiful description Freya, yes that's right We are able to be Sincere within our Selfs? And freely. I have seeing so much beauty in the eyes of the Vulnerable. Beauty that heaven allow to be in earth. How can enyone intentionally hurt? Beauty to worthship from and open heart to it... Truly showing our self naked and even more beautiful to the eye that can See it... How can we hurt? Even so there is some that will do so, not being able to understand. Some one that don't know how to touch a Rose 🌹 And even so we all are able to learn, to understand, to grow, to change... Create. We see beautiful that's from Vulnerable all the time, but maybe we can't recognize, I see beautiful driving with her, beautiful in a baby's face, in A monk in a birt in the Earth. Delfines have such of Vulnerabity and even so us being so cruel to them they still coming to us, always I will be amaze by it. Not all Animal will do that and certain not one with so much advantage as a Delfin. The mountain of the Andies has this in its people, Tibet, Mongolia... They express this in there faces... Some one that I have found to express this in his face in such beauti is Sir Ramana Maharshi Maybe some one knows about him, his expressions are something. I have found that part of Me has made my body stronger in the undertaking of that Vulnerability. Maybe some won't be able to understand that, but in the miss understanding of Vulnerability we can brake our body, has happen to me and I think to many of us. Wen you take that part of your Self what won't allow you to fell the Beautiful expression that's Being In Love Living, and allowing this to flow with all the emotions and implications even fear trough the hole thing. Thanks for your comments guys much appreciated. ✌️😌❤️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
The concept of Romance was fostered by Eleanor of Aquitaine in the 12 th century.She was tired of the uncouth behaviour by the knights at court towards her ladies so she came up with some rules based on the poet Ovid's rules and advice centuries before. Marriage was a separate thing usually based on property,family connection etc. So knights were encouraged to "court" a lady by seeking her favours in jousting tournaments ,writing her poems or songs etc...doing all those things that we think of today as romantic gestures. Romantic love is not just lust, lust is of course part of romantic love ,but the whole falling in love experience is a powerful chemical cocktail that overwhelms us as we become subsumed by the other. The next stage is the one of attachment where we want to build a nest,maybe have children ...the next stage,if we get there is the one where we have those deep and abiding feelings of love,where the happiness of the other is more important than our own xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
For some strange reason, when I read your comment on "Romance", tears welled up in my eyes. It sounds so beautiful...
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lik2watch59
10 years ago
Latin pleasure, your writing and subject choice is very interesting and thought provoking. There are many ways to interpret sex, love and romance. They can, at different times, have meanings that aren't connected and take one on a path that doesn't lead to the other. For instance, sex can be just that "Sex", you can have this without love or romance. But, can one have "Love" OR "Romance" with out "Sex" I think you can have "Love" without "Sex" because "Love" is a emotion that opens you up to being vulnerable, totally exposed and fully accepting your partner for all their good and bad parts and wanting the same in return. Where as, one can have romance without love, but not with out sex. Freya, your comments about being hurt in a relation ship make you become very weary of love, not so much romance & sex. It does though, make one look a lot deeper in to what love is, and, weather the emotions you are feeling for that person is really love. Question: Are either of you guys going to the meet & greet on the 5th March? It would be great to sit down over a drink and discuss this in person. lik2watch59 (Warren)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Beautiful Woman Indite. 🌹 Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. “You have grown so much to be a part of my life that it is empty without you.” Eleanor of Aquitaine quotes. Thanks you Freya70 for sharing: "The sharing of knowledge as we grow in the world is one of the biggest atributes that man kind has" There will always be beautiful people that will show us the beauty that the world contain, as much in the exterior of our Selfs as in the interior. Romance is.a question of tenderness were the rough edges get clear by and unconditional felling, and it's beauty cautivates the Heart of many. Woman are a big part of the creation of this proses,without them man won't be able to listen his heart. Romance can be so simple and at the same time terrifying for those that had being hurt. We are alive less always Remeber and this life has and end from where we can't be romantic again, Freedom is to recognize the opportunity that we all have Being Alive. Thanks everyone for reading. AC. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
PurePeony, how beautiful hard you seem to have, tears welled down your eyes because Freya70 has touch what "Is" And your heart so crave for it. Brake your shell Let Romance be part of your live. The world can be a very romantic place, the trees the Sunset the Ocean the Stars... I'm sure you can See this and with a Heart as tender is yours, life can be so full of joy... Thank for commenting here. 🌹 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks Lik2watch59 for your comment. Yes you are correct in many ways I must write. There has being say that Sex is not Love and I will dare to write that "Romance" is brought upon by Love. Yes wen a this mix and all become borne of love or is understand or star of the combination is pure TNT! Lol One must keep awareness to not detonate and end out destroying things that keep that magic in our life's. I really appreciate your comments and I hope that we get to chat some more by this links. Ps; no I'm not informed of any of your meetings, but please by all means fell free to let me know. AC. - Posted from rhpmobile
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lik2watch59
10 years ago
AC, sorry mate I haven't been online much lately and I missed your request about information regarding the meet & greet. It was Last Saturday (5th March) I keep my eye out for events on RHP and that is one that came up that I was interested in going to. It's great to meet the people you chat with online and to put a face to that profile. It was run by one of the members here, not RHP itself. It was a great night and I meet some interesting people. Just keep you eye on the events coming up if you want to join in the next one. L2W (Warren)
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