M61
Sex drive lets here your views
July 18 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
im 45, have been married, divorced, and Ive yet to have a complaint or had anyone keep up....im just sayingIts just to do with the old "we have been married for years so the passion has diminished somewhat" line, life gets busy with work and running around with kids etc...so there often isn't time spent together...don't think its the sex drive as such, its just the element of keeping it alive that differs. Women have a lot more to think about and organise than men when married and running a house....they put their own needs last often.By the way, i know plenty of men that have lost their drive later in life!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Obligations, responsibilities, and opportunity can all have an effect upon libido. And children have an impact upon obligations, responsibilities and opportunity.... and even more so with the working woman. So if the cliche of the "married with kids" woman is that she is less inclined towards sex than a similar age single woman without children.... ...... then I'm never gonna blame her!! But it's not just children or household duties having an impact. Over time, many men forget the importance of appreciating and inspiring their partners womanly spirit. DG PS You're a busy bee recently, chev....
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was married for 23 years. I have 4 children In the last 12 months of our marriage I owned 2 businesses, worked between 80/90 hours a week and had sex everyday, with my husband and sometimes my lover too. If you want to, you will find a way. Being busy is often the excuse people hide behind because its easier to say than "you haven't done the necessary work to turn me on"- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I still think its the almond icing on the wedding cake altering her mood :p- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
middle aged women just get bored with the same old,same old..... It's not rocket science,men say women are complicated but I think we are simple creatures,we want to have a man pay attention to us,focus on us...at least for an hour or so a day,....and feel a connection....there is nothing lonelier, than being in a marriage with someone who is emotionally disconnected from us.
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RHP User
12 years ago
a sex drive, some just leave it in park. I'm with karynb on this one, and yes I've been there and done it, just forgot to pick up the shirt.And I'm sure you do have a sex life Chev, in some form or another.BTW, mums do it for me big time, not sure why they just do
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RHP User
12 years ago
I havnt been married or in a relationship for 14 years.But I know many females go of sex when married. And when they split from there partners/ husbands they find the sex drive again......hmmm its strange.
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RHP User
12 years ago
However I did pick the 45 age bracket because the kids are grown up Also I forgot to mention the married woman is now divorced and single. My fault I typed this up fast before I went fishing -- LOL
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's human nature for peoples sex lives to drop off - male or female. It happens because peoples needs are not being met...and as for your mate who says "I married her, so now I don't have a sex life"...well my friend, your friend needs to man the f*ck up and stop being a such a coward...He needs to TALK to ands make TIME for her... You do know about Ostriche having NO sex drives, because they are too "busy" with their head in the sand -unless of course Meeka uses her strap on. ;) FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
At least your honest, I agree "All women are different"..You got that right!! :) FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ill drive for sex till the day I die
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RHP User
12 years ago
Firstly, I cannot speak for women who have never been married or had a child/children.I was in a 'conventional' sham of a marriage with a complete dickhead for 12 years, which produced no children and I divorced in 1998. When I had my son in 2002 it was a whole different story. I was in a very different place altogether, older, more independent and unencumbered (by the childish demands of a 'chronologically' older, yet, 'emotionally immature' husband.) I learned more about the nature of myself, and my own power as a woman, through giving birth, than anything I had ever experienced up to that point. Apart from being 'bloody hard work' in the practical years post physical labour, there were fundamental changes that became the basis of a deepening contentment that has, for me, endured. My sexuality opened up, my psyche matured exponentially, my body was better than it had ever been as was the perception of my body/mind connection and self image. There was 'no' man to help provide any daily practical support to me in those years. The demand feeding, daily chores, shopping, cooking, the night after night after night sitting in my home alone nursing my son, with little money to have any semblance of a social life which was non existent and basically impossible. But there are two sides to every coin and just as there was no man there to help with the so called realities of it all or 'shit jobs', there was also no man with the mental and emotional capacity to even recognise, relate or reap any of the rewards of what had emerged in me as a woman and a sexual being.Guys if you are still *scratching your head* or don't understand my post then refer to post above by Mischeviouslad....if you still don't?..... then go directly to jail...do not pass go!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I can only speak from my own experiences which were - pre-marriage our sex drive was very high, daily and several times. During marriage my libido went into hibernation because my ex became so involved in his own hobbies he forgot he had a partner. My sex drive went back into overdrive after marriage. It is just as high now as it was in my 20s and thanks to some amazing RHP experiences its stamina is huge.....hehe! Even though throughout the marriage we had a regular sex life it had become boring. I gave up trying to make it interesting. I don't think the kids had anything to do with my libido but more to do with my ex's obsession with car restoration and racing. If any man talks to me about car restorations now my eyes just glaze over....NEXT! LOL SFxx
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On_Safari
12 years ago
...and now my mind has caught up!!! I used to wake my husband at all hours when getting home from shift, have my wicked way; then hear him complain 2hrs later because I woke him before he had to get up. I didn't work normal hours so I'm afraid my libido developed it's own pattern. Shoot me for being lustful and in need lol. In recent years I've developed other interests and the cravings continue..... Stronger, more demanding and acutely aware that I'm not sated. Chev the bastard about my situation.....I'm not going to give it up for just anyone. (Sigh)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'karynb' I was married for 23 years. I have 4 children In the last 12 months of our marriage I owned 2 businesses, worked between 80/90 hours a week and had sex everyday, with my husband and sometimes my lover too. If you want to, you will find a way. Being busy is often the excuse people hide behind because its easier to say than "you haven't done the necessary work to turn me on"Very similar here. We have had exceptionally busy lives the whole of our 13yrs married and the sex has always been very frequent. With kids around it's not often in the lounge or kitchen like it once was, but we find a way.Mrs C's close old friends with much simpler lives tell a very different story. I've always put it down to effort, I make an effort, their husbands don't.Well, that and I'm spectacular, how could she resist? Mr C
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RHP User
12 years ago
Superfoxy your a riot loved the reply It was not a friend but a group of guys down the beach after fishing and they were various ages I hear the word boring but as a guy cant understand why guys don't spice it up role play is fun or dress up. Damn it get kinky here are some example but exclude on stage as that was after hours I had the key. At a concert On stage on the bar on the bonnet the back seat in a playground on an oval on the kitchen bench on the table on the floor back yard friends house on a boat the list goes on
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RHP User
12 years ago
trumps your list Chevy
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RHP User
12 years ago
deepbluesomething you know how to pick em ok cool some good replies but it does seem the man gets the blame there are 2 people in a relationship
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RHP User
12 years ago
Did you have a spy camera on me in my marriage???
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RHP User
12 years ago
washing up
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RHP User
12 years ago
We all have a story. I ask the right questions..... ..... But more importantly, I listen when people give their answer. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya73' middle aged women just get bored with the same old,same old..... It's not rocket science,men say women are complicated but I think we are simple creatures,we want to have a man pay attention to us,focus on us...at least for an hour or so a day,....and feel a connection....there is nothing lonelier, than being in a marriage with someone who is emotionally disconnected from us. While I completely agree with your comments as it is said many times that women need a connection and their mind engaged to be in the mood. While guys are the different in what they need they are pretty simple as well. I am going to offer an alternative suggestion and you can agree/disagree as you like. Do you think there is equal expectation in both sexes in understanding what the other requires and then balancing both of the differing needs? Compared to one sex saying they don't do this and they don't do that while giving little consideration in return?
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Beachlover1999
12 years ago
In short, been effectively married twice, last not being vanilla and all guys have in effect lost sex drive before me.....and I still have, want, love it!!!! ;))))
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RHP User
12 years ago
Each person needs to work at looking sexy and feeling sexy, and each person needs to work at letting their partner know they find them sexy - in ways that work for their partner! For some that's directly, through sex. For other's it's through love, affection, patience, support, kind words etc etc. In the early stages of a relationship people tend to pay attention to what clicks for the other, and to help that along things click more easily because the flush of lust is at its brightest. Things change and the couple needs to be willing to adjust with that. I remember a man who treated me very well. At a time when my libido was still very high but my energy was low and my time was almost completely taken up by work, he quietly and unassumingly did things at the time like leave me be to work, massage my feet, bring me food and cups of tea, hug me when I was emotional and exhausted. He never asked what I needed, he just noticed and gave what he could. I felt loved and nourished, though I wasn't completely aware of it at the time. I do know that because I felt this way, my lust and love for him remained high, and when I had any free time I quite simply wanted to jump his bones, which I did. At other times in our relationship, when things were more free and light-hearted, we were always naked and romping about the place :) But this rough patch with my work lasted months and months and he was really great. He just adjusted and kept loving me and let me be me and made sure I knew what I meant to him and at any given chance made sure I knew how much he lusted after me. So, my libido was my responsibility but he took responsibility for being an amazing partner in a tough time, which kept my libido alive.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I simply answered the question re women,but I also feel for the men who try extremely hard to engage their partners and who are constantly rejected....sometimes people have mismatched libidos and this is not obvious at first ...I was married for nine years to a man who was not very interested in sex...at least not with me..he married again a year after we separated to a woman he is still married to and they are extremely happy...
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RHP User
12 years ago
With a mans perception of you also once you have children. In my own experience I found that once I had kids the way my husband viewed and treated me changed . He stopped seeing me as a sexual creature and saw me only as a mother figure . So after a while that's how I saw myself as well . Not as a desirable sexy woman but as a cook/cleaner. Now that I have moved on from that and am being seen once again as a sexual woman , my libido is through the roof!! I can and have spent all day having sex and after 7 hours still want more ;))- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your reply ripped into me as it reminded me of a relationship I had 10 years ago but it was not the sex that was a problem. It was the more I gave the more she took and I just thought of a new topic why do we love the people who use and abuse us. I bet there would be a lot of answers on that one LOL
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madotara69
12 years ago
For weathering the times that stress will take it's tolls, Stamina and endurance being part with conscious, not how well we perform in the sack. A relationship needs to be maintained, kept as priority and patience can be one of sex drives strongest values. What is important, I believe is that Knowing what is worth, is knowing before it chances being lost. As Mr C suggests, effort can be worthwhile in the long run. At the end of the day, it really comes down to what is important and more importantly who.For what it is worth, she still drives me crazy, I don't care if it is thought as crazy being of lesser value than wants disguised as needs. It is a crazy little thing called love, and when it is good it is great. No doubts we will look back and miss some of the things we might have liked, knowing it did not matter so much.My view is to the question, what is the worth for having an enduring sex drive and what for it as priority? Good days bad days, but better days are best. It is a good feeling to know what was believed could be trusted,small enough to listen and not big enough to think of knowing it all, because I know fuck all.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes, in a different way I have had that heart break. I married young to a man I lusted after intensely and who I loved then and still love (in that universal way) now. Sex was good and fun, but not awesome. That was for the first six months and the shortly after it just dried up completely, with us averaging sex three or four times a year for 12 years. Nothing I did or said prompted him to look at his loss of libido. Mine was still raging but I buried it. The frustration and heart break came out through anger and bitchiness about life in general. Looking back I find it stunning just how much the lack of a loving, passionate, lusty sex life affected me, then and now. It took me a very long time, all those years in fact, to realise that I deserved better and that both partners in a relationship have a responsibility to honour all aspects of the relationship. Libidos might not match, but that shouldn't be an excuse for working on connection and chemistry and attraction and desire so that the relationship is as good as it can be. I left my marriage a fragile, insecure, anxious wreck where sex was concerned.
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On_Safari
12 years ago
The fact that longer term relationships/marriages require alot more work than say...a fling with someone. It's easy to shine for a day or a night but try maintaining that shine for decades? I guess you need to show consideration for your partner/spouse, DO things for them completely outta the blue sometimes, yes like washing the dishes!!! Cooking dinner or just cuddling on the couch. Turning it on lustfully with a lover you haven't woken up next to everyday for the past decades is easy, trying to turn that same heat on for your partner.....now there's a challenge.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some of the hungriest libidos I've encountered have been beneficiaries of HRT, awesome stuff.Put in the water supply !
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya73' I simply answered the question re women,but I also feel for the men who try extremely hard to engage their partners and who are constantly rejected....sometimes people have mismatched libidos and this is not obvious at first ...I was married for nine years to a man who was not very interested in sex...at least not with me..he married again a year after we separated to a woman he is still married to and they are extremely happy... I know, wasn't trying to put any gender to task but just putting a view point out there.Cheers,W
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' We all have a story. I ask the right questions..... ..... But more importantly, I listen when people give their answer. DG your response was so spot on it was a little freaky. Was that a spank on my bum because you didn't understand my answer?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I first met my ex husband when I was only 14 yrs old. He a lot older. Years passed and I grew up while he didn't seem to grow up at all. On the other hand, my ex partner and father of my child is a really loving great guy who has always been there as a reliable and loving hands-on parent to my son. We just weren't going to make it? Of which, looking back, I still have regrets and do accept 50% of the blame that it didn't work out. Quoting 'chevtrek' deepbluesomething you know how to pick em ok cool some good replies but it does seem the man gets the blame there are 2 people in a relationship
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' We all have a story. I ask the right questions..... ..... But more importantly, I listen when people give their answer. DG your response was so spot on it was a little freaky. Was that a spank on my bum because you didn't understand my answer? Not at all.It was .... "I hear you"DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
how much people have openly shared on this thread.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'deepbluesumthing' I first met my ex husband when I was only 14 yrs old. He a lot older. Years passed and I grew up while he didn't seem to grow up at all. On the other hand, my ex partner and father of my child is a really loving great guy who has always been there as a reliable and loving hands-on parent to my son. We just weren't going to make it? Of which, looking back, I still have regrets and do accept 50% of the blame that it didn't work out. Quoting 'chevtrek' deepbluesomething you know how to pick em ok cool some good replies but it does seem the man gets the blame there are 2 people in a relationship But there would be a few blokes feeling dopey, because they let the Boss think he was more important than someones missus. It's up to the bloke for a lot of reasons, one reason is women get all fucked up now and then, time can differ for when they settle down, those times are when the man needs to realize that she does not truly think he is an arsehole, but she fucken means it at the time, and those are the times where she does not know what she wants, exept she knows she needs that arsehole, and she can be stubborn. It all brings out the beauty in a woman, if the man is still holding up to being the arsehole, she knows the time is for making up to him, and does things that make a very happy arsehole. Women are ticking time bombs, but you have got to love them.Mado
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madotara69
12 years ago
But 10% is a lot for a bloke work withMado
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm not suggesting it's always easy. Just that if it really is an important priority you will make it so! Humans always act in accordance with their values. If you value your physical connection you treat it as something to be nurtured and cared for and you make the necessary time to do so. Quoting 'chickcara' Quoting 'karynb' I was married for 23 years. I have 4 children In the last 12 months of our marriage I owned 2 businesses, worked between 80/90 hours a week and had sex everyday, with my husband and sometimes my lover too. If you want to, you will find a way. Being busy is often the excuse people hide behind because its easier to say than "you haven't done the necessary work to turn me on"Very similar here. We have had exceptionally busy lives the whole of our 13yrs married and the sex has always been very frequent. With kids around it's not often in the lounge or kitchen like it once was, but we find a way. Mrs C's close old friends with much simpler lives tell a very different story. I've always put it down to effort, I make an effort, their husbands don't. Well, that and I'm spectacular, how could she resist? Mr C
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madotara69
12 years ago
Was meant in the nicest of feelings to it. Hormones going all over the place, inside you and it is natural. So it does not mean that I think you ladies fuck up, just get fucked up, for a while, at times.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some women lose their identify when they become a mother and they feel like they owe it to their children to be selfless and pure, to set a good example and to raise wholesome children.When we first met we had a more active sex life, but we were younger and healthier as well.Men marry women hoping they don't change and they do. Women marry men hoping they won't change and they do. A lot of people shouldn't get married.MrsSplicey
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RHP User
12 years ago
i had cancer treatment in 2009 where i had to have 18 months of chemo and radiation and now my body doesnt produce enough testosterone but i have to have 12 weekly injections and let me tell you my missus cant keep up with me and said for me to get a friend on the side. so it depends on circumstances
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mr and Mrs Splicey, just wanted to compliment you on some super sexy profile pics! And while I couldn't see much of him, I have to say Mr Splicey's body doesn't seem average at all ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why thank you very much lolygoblblisbom MrSplicey is a work in progress and I have to agree with you, but he won't let me change it just yetMrs
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RHP User
12 years ago
My wife hit a real flat spot between 30 and 40, (family, work ect) but the "something" triggered her and now she's a horny nympho, I love it!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' deepbluesomething you know how to pick em ok cool some good replies but it does seem the man gets the blame there are 2 people in a relationship if there's one thing i have learnt, BOTH parties in the relationship need to communicate freely without the worry that words might hurt or damage their relationship irreparably. if you cant tell/show each other what you want your never going to get it and instead live a lonely life with toys or multiple partners.i believe as we age we learn the value of these things and are able to view things more objectively. divorced here and like most have raised a child and worked and maintained a home. but its no excuse, where there's a will there's a way.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! Chev Tech :) Well Hun since I've never had sex with a 45yr old Female who had children or not .I'll believe you when you've noticed a difference . Most of the reasons why have already been said. Since the Prime roll is focused on raising children , plus their work commitments they have, it takes it's toll and sex on tap , aside from the fact Males purpose is to Procreate, so sure they've sex on their minds constantly. Women don't and sex isn't always a Priority. Childless Females are similar but also I feel tend to put their own needs. desires as a Priority ( unlike the Mother who puts her needs on hold, for the Family unit comes 1st.) so she tends to go after what Pleases her more, be it in General or sexual as she has more confidence in herself, time to do so as well.. If you have a Healthy well rounded Relationship with a Partner ie Attatched or FWB and you've cultivated it even if for Casual fun that decides too how into it she is over all Because Females generally connect with their emotions with a Guy and they are the basis throughout your Sexual Sessions . Where as Guys tend to be visual so you see, want, have it Np done and forget about forming the intimacy part Maybe that's what's happening in your case.. The above opinion is a generalization only .. Not written in stone as theirs as many variables as grains of sand Enjoy Lu :).
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't think you would have a bad bone in your entire body Quoting 'madotara69' Was meant in the nicest of feelings to it. Hormones going all over the place, inside you and it is natural. So it does not mean that I think you ladies fuck up, just get fucked up, for a while, at times.Mado
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'deepbluesumthing' I don't think you would have a bad bone in your entire body Quoting 'madotara69' Was meant in the nicest of feelings to it. Hormones going all over the place, inside you and it is natural. So it does not mean that I think you ladies fuck up, just get fucked up, for a while, at times.Mado Not to be taken out of place with the younger girls in here, they just don't know it yet. What is a simple reality, and you ladies posting a thought confirm. A bloke only needs to press a couple of your buttons the right way, then any one of you will be the greatest fuck, or one off in his life. I do know that!Knowing that makes reading what you all write/think/suggest a real pleasurable feeling to a visual dreamer, and Tara gets her buttons pressed as often that she wants. I might not be so bright, but I am not stupid.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...Passion..You go throwing hormones, kids, lifestyle or even the dishes in front of that fire and wonder why it's barely smouldering these days?.Don't let it happen.
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RHP User
12 years ago
that every time I look at the profile name 'Madotara' I read it as Matador! And then I imagine Mado as an extraordinarily sexy Spanish bullfighter, all brooding and intense and brave and dangerous ;) (PS I object strongly to bullfighting)
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RHP User
12 years ago
i want to post my own thread but being a virgin threader ( totatlly different subject) im a bit concerned plus not sure what the limit in writting is as i have a lot to say / explain as i dont want to miss anythinganyway enjoy all your points of views ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I loved QT pies answer It is a damn shame lots don't follow that thinking
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Beachlover1999
12 years ago
I am 47, single Mum, professional. I can say with absolute certainty my sex drive is as high, fast and rampant now as ever before!!! 😝 My birth is 85 and still at it (I was adopted due to his womanising!!!). Hopefully I will be still at it at his age!!! Lol. 😝😈🙀 Think many men should try harder as many of my Gf's complain their man doesnt bother!!!!😉- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maintaining some semblance of a sex life in a long term monogamous relationship is to simply have sex. I think we over complicate things. It's a technique recommended by many sex therapists .... Regardless of how 'in the mood' you may or may not be feeling, just do it ! Have sex every night for a fortnight or every 2nd or 3rd night for a month. The idea being that, like exercise, once you get started, the brain and body take over and it no longer becomes such a chore or something you have to force yourself to do. Women especially ... the more they cum, the more they will want to. It is simply a chemical / hormonal reaction.
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madotara69
12 years ago
I remember when lolygoblbisboms hit the shelves in a Chrome metallic packet, about the same time where if you could say " two all beef patties, lettuce, cheese, pickles and special sauce all in a sesame seed bun" in under 30 seconds, you would get a free big mac. But that was something Lady Tuscan said about a big mac, she could have said lolygoblblisbom and it still would have been fitting. It is where Lady Tuscan expressed having a good looking pussy and the effects that has had for thinking with any focus since, is borderline to traumatic. I will overcome all in good time, however I have Just realised.. looking at your tits had me for a while, until I noticed where is your other hand, I hope it is where it should be, then your other hand looks so much more sensual. Lolygobleblisbom look good in Black Saturn too.Other than times where I am serious like now, I would not go as far to claim being a prized bull fighter, more to the likeness of a Bullshit Extraordinaire, it has a better ring to it.And brave is much the same as grace and grace is a favorite. Graceful bullshit can be extraordinary, don't you think blisbom in Saturn?You ladies keep this up, looking and behaving as sexy as you all are, you will find the best in us brave and graceful men!A lady will get what she wants, once she knows what that want is, or just take it. And we have to respect that.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sex? Or just drive hard during sex? Sounds good either way! Just sayin ... ;-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting '50zkool'Some of the hungriest libidos I've encountered have been beneficiaries of HRT, awesome stuff. Put in the water supply ! I LOVE my HRT!!! ( and so do my lovers ;P) Best thing EVER!!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Everyone is different, cant compare, lifestyles etc etcCan only speak for myself in my late 40's.....all I know is I can't get enough think I may have always been that way though lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm off to join the convent ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme'I'm off to join the convent ... Nothing wrong with your sex drive, is there missy? I may have to test it out myself next week...
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