M65
Shunted
January 15 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
In a group situation There will always be a differing of opinions, personality clashes, people that just don't get on, etc. In general I ignore the people I know I will argue with and mostly I can't be bothered arguing on the RHP forums. And yes I said mostly. As for a group shunning people I don't agree with that... But sometimes people just don't seem to fit. You know what I mean? They just haven't found their niche I think. I am sure we all have one. Trick is not take it personally when you don't seem to fit in as we have all been there. Or an I misunderstanding your meaning? People might think I am a bitch but I don't see the point of playing nice with people online. I am not rude I just don't engage in conversation or banter. I am sure there are gazillions of people who do the same to me. Like attracts like. :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
That is meant to say I don't play nice or engage in banter with people I don't have things in common with and yes the odd few who's posts I don't enjoy.
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RHP User
13 years ago
No idea what you're talking about, however I've always been quite strong and independent and this carries through to online interactions. Are you sure you're not just being sensitive? People get busy and can't comment on every single post in every single forum, or maybe they just have nothing to contribute to that particular topic.I don't think I've been shunned, but, to be honest, I really wouldn't notice anyway. The good friends I've made over the years are still my good friends, acquaintances come and go, but I figure they were just meant to be in my life at the moments they were. I have had people ask me to not be friends with people they weren't friends with in the past. It has resulted in the cooling down of good friendships for long periods of time. I used to be much more stiff with such things and less flexible with my own moral framework. Now that I'm older, if such things happened again, and the offending person wasn't close to me, I wouldn't go out of my way to be friendly with them as life is just too short to lose the friendship of good people.However, I'm lucky and that kind of thing hasn't happened to me in a very long time. My friends know I can be oblivious to their minor bickering between each other to and luckily for me, they accept and love me anyway even though I'm not quick to jump on side or join their fights.What you describe though isn't a female only phenomenon. I've seen it happen with men too. Anywhere you get a group of people together who are bonded by just one thing i.e. an adult website, a car club, a sporting club, there are always divisions and pettiness going on, and the guys get just as involved. It's human nature for people to want to form tribes. So when a particular tribe gets too big, then there is division within to make it smaller and more manageable. Note: this is my own theory and not backed up with any research at all! I'm a tech/scientist not a sociologist.
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RHP User
13 years ago
In this type of online medium I would find it difficult to feel "shunned". How can this be ? I never put out an opinion expecting a reply every time I post as I'm a mere drop in this conversational ocean. So I just say what I think and peeps can agree or disagree. Even people who's general opinion I can agree to (most) of the time, we can still have differing opinions and happy to put my point across. In real life situations it's far more easier to feel this way then simply making comments on a board. Only way can imagine that (shunned/shunted) would happen is if I made outrageous statement/lied/made up some crapploa and got caught out doing it, all of which I wouldn't do. There's a topic going in the "guys ask"and I can very well imagine that OP is felling somewhat shunned...( well Im sure he'll feel that way should he ever send a message about wanting to hook up with any sane minded girl that read that topic anyways..)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Saturn65'In this type of online medium I would find it difficult to feel "shunned". How can this be ? I never put out an opinion expecting a reply every time I post as I'm a mere drop in this conversational ocean. So I just say what I think and peeps can agree or disagree. Even people who's general opinion I can agree to (most) of the time, we can still have differing opinions and happy to put my point across. In real life situations it's far more easier to feel this way then simply making comments on a board.Also, does quiet necessarily mean you've been shunned?
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RHP User
13 years ago
sometimes there is banter,but I won't continue to attempt that if the person doesn't get it or is disinterested.You have taken offence at some of my silly comments Jay and so I would not deliberately go out of my way to do that again with you. Not being taken notice of,is not being shunned,it just means nobody is interested enough to comment on what you have to say...happens to me all the time....and I would be here 24/7 if I responded to every post I liked...atm averaging 20/7...need a cuppa every now and then.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You may need to ask LRE about shunting ;-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
But my question was, have you or anyone you know had this happen, and do you find it adolecence or acceptable behaviour. ? I also said, happy to cop it on the chin and just get on with it... Thankfully, there are more positive than negative people here. Thats the main thing. Besides, anyone who knows me would know it would take alot more than the opinion of a few to ruffle my feathers, never have been the insecure type. So l would appreciate if we can get back to the original question... can we ?
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RHP User
13 years ago
most people ansewred the question re being shunned.People not paying attention to you is not being shunned.Hard to know though if one is just being ignored,or being ''shunned'' I think on-line that it is more likely for a small group of people to attack rather than shun someone,but I haven't had enough experience on-line to know this. In real life ,yes I have been shunned ,even bullied,do I think it is adolescent,yes and dangerous because mob behaviour can escalate. People have been known to commit suicide or at the very least become quite ill when this happens to them.There is a set of behaviours termed ''mobbing'' if anyone is interested to google it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I beg to differ... most of what's been posted so far was directed to me and not original question. Touched on but not answered. Take your last post.. AGAIN you insinuated it was about me. IT"S NOT.... The second half you answered the question directly.. Surely its not that hard...
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RHP User
13 years ago
personally Jay,''you'' refers to the collective you..I now officially give up
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RHP User
13 years ago
I used to work on the trains and we had to stay on board when the trains got shunted shit it hurt if you fell out of the top bunk..bloody train drivers ohhhhhhhh you mean shunned....yes raised in an orphanage it was the way to torment people to shun them till they cried themselves to sleep its a power thing a lord and ladies of the fly mentality rhp sure forums sure off-line me nope, they don’t and really I am here to get laid and the forums are like TV without the sound drama, comedy, misery and laughter kings and queens come and go but the joker ...well here I am
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was bullied as a child. So I will never ever shun someone.
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wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
I have NEVER been part of the popular crowd in life from school right through adult hood, yes i have friends and i am social but I dont seem to fit the mould for what is popular I think the main reason for that is I speak my mind, have my own opinions and I am not too shy about standing up for myself if someone wants to have a go at me. I dont need people to agree with me or tell me my opinion is the right one in fact to the contrary i enjoy a good debate if people are not comfortable with that and i get 'shunned' as you put it then so be it, life would be one boring as hell place if we all acted and thought the same.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My brother has experienced this to a huge degree, due to religious differences with my mum and stepdad, so badly that they haven't involved him in anything to do with the family for the past 23 years because he slept with someone before marriage!! Seeing how much this effected him over the years was the reason I moved out of home at 17 and for years I let it ruin my relationship with my parents. Nowadays I've been able to forgive my parents to some degree but I'll never forget it, even if it is due to their misguided faith (IMO). I've experienced it myself at times growing up, if you've experienced it you could never do it to someone else.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Way back when...I was on this forum under a different name. Now, I have been known to say exactly what I think and spare no ones blushes. I do consider that I was a little victimised for a short while but hey...I am a big girl and I can handle myself. I took a rest from the forums and came back... I am stronger mentally and emotionally than I was then and I simply do not care what others think of me. After all there is only one person on this forum who has to put up with me...she has no choice and that is Lost Focus. The rest are only transients in lifes train ride. Is it juvenile? More than likely but then we all need to stop and think that many of the questions on this forum push emotional buttons, rake over old scars and unhealed wounds. We all have some baggage and can all resort to adolescent behaviour when our buttons are pushed. If we find ourselves getting increasingly frustrated and angry at certain forum contributors...it is up to us as adults to simply walk away for a while. Ignore those that annoy us. Be the bigger person. On the whole, the forums can be a fun place to hang out.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If loyalty has been breached ,shunt away i say.I find that acceptable. I have shunted in my life and will continue to shunt.Why? because i believe we should surround ourself with people we respect and are honest towards.I would never shunt a person who has attributes like honesty,compassion and respect.I am a loyal and honest person and i expect my friends to be the same to me ,to look out for my best interests ect.Probably why all my friends are from when i went to kindi and primary school with.Have known them for more than 3/4 of my life and know them back to front as they know me.Always happy to shunt a person who shows their true colours and are not of the standard i look for in a friend.I think all people shunt ,who here has slept with someone and never seen them again?That's a shunt if you ask me Cheers.
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madotara69
13 years ago
Hi, J_MeMado,Tara xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi! Jay :) First and foremost I come to the Forums because I enjoy Interacting with others share my views, Knowledge and insight, which hopefully helps others. In the main it seems too from the Positive feedback I get .If I can share that in a fun way all the better, others get a giggle out of them too he!he! Some agree with me and enjoy them. Others don't and reply in a Negative way, that's cool as long as it's in a Constractive Manner not just a Bitch fest.. Yes this has Happend to me but I am secure in who I am so it had no affect on me because they're not in my Life in reality so it's not important .. I'm Human as are we all and I have on occassion said more than I've meant too. I always apologize if I do transgress as I don't want to ruffle anyones ego.. I must admit in Reality on rare Occassions when a Person( usually a Female I'm not sure why). has tried to shun me and it has been ongoing I'm not fazed by their actions at all. I tend to have a little fun with it . I approach them and stand facing them so they can't pass. Then I strike up a conversation with them all gushy kind he!he!.it's so obvious they'd rather be anywhere else but with me .. When I'm ready I turn walk away with a big grin on my face because I know that's so not what they expected or wanted. Naughty Me Slap! he!he! .. Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Like you' Im not the insecure type at all.. and ' like you' I will have fun with those who try so hard to disprove this.. However' if you are a friend and someone trys it on... I will defend them to the hilt. Anyone who cares to read my other posts will see I like light hearted banter... and I dont mind who joins in..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Was at a local Rugby match in Otago NZ once and, as was a little pissed, walked straight into the towbar of the keg trailer. Got well and truly shunned.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I must try and get a copy of ''The Female Brain'' sounds like a fascinating read.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Does your zest for one-upmanship surprise ? No... You seen a opportunity to jump on a bandwagon and you did... It's something we've seen with you before.... not new. You lost your cool not only with me but anyone else who challenged your opinion. So time to ' get over it.. ? Time to get back to the subject matter.. I can... can you ?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I first thought you were talking about threesomes or groups where one person is left of out the sexual play and left on the sidelines. lol Oops.. my dirty mind.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I feel like I'm in The Matrix, or worse, The Big Brother house - not adult forums! It baffles me that we can't just let topics meander and run their course - isn't that what happens in normal conversation? Why all of this off-topic fixation?? I do strongly object to bullying and attacking though - adult or not. Debate, or even questioning someone's intentions or consistency, is one thing but outright nastiness and denigration of someone's character is childish and uncalled for and it saddens me to see it on the forums as often as I do. Being snide is ugly and it does not become us :(
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RHP User
13 years ago
Group hug people ,let the love flow I feel like Cake.... or ice cream.I am going back to the boob's thread where we all have something in common.Boobies for the WIN!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I had to read your comment a few times to make sure l understood what you are saying. If you care to read through ' you will see l tryed to encourage returning to the subject matter by reading my original post. lil _ bit_ angelic... Well said.... and timely.... Kizza1973... Good idea, group hug, then cake and ice cream sounds good to me...
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm not sure about being shunted, if I come back in my next reincarnation as a train carriage I'll let you know what it's like :-P But being shunned is a different story. As pointed out several times in this thread, being shunned often involves a group of people turning on one member of that group. I personally tend to avoid groups mainly because I have been shunned before (not here) and it is not a nice feeling. I also don't don't write much in the forums as there seems to be a main body of forum-posters who appear to stick together when on a "shun-run". And I hope never to be on the end of one. Have I gone off-topic? Maybe I have, *gulps*, oh well, I'll guess someone will take me to task for doing so, he says with tongue in cheek :-P
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RHP User
13 years ago
Love the way the posts do change. LOL This thread still infers women as the "adolescence"Lets quote the OP " but seems some females find comfort in numbers.. Not saying all btw , I know some very strong independent females.." The edit of the original post is not on, To represent another with edited content is strictly "not on" , should have shut down the thread all together. After all why pay for a service that does not perform as the agreement stipulates.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well said.. you're definately on the money here.. If you can see it' why cant others ? My guess it's because some like the thrill of the kill... right or wrong...Yes' been picked up for the word 'shunted' before. If I could change it I would.
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