M57 F48
Single Guys at Clubs .....
March 28 2009
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
we are not a club but we do hold parties at which we allow single guys, but they are severely restricted in numbers, and the reason is because of the perception,largely justified in our and others experience,that the majority are very predatory and "expect" it is their right to get some sex because they have paid a fairly high price for admittance to a club so they go pestering and pushing both couples and single ladies. We stress when talking to/meeting single guys prior to them being invited that pushiness etc is not to be allowed so it is pleasing to hear that thisseems to be occuring elsewhere also. bothtogether6
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RHP User
17 years ago
we too have noticed this and cant understand why.We go out ov our way to meet as many people as we can while out and about .The single guys seem to stand back and wait for an invitation when they should be putting them selves out there .Cant understand why either inkies!!!
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RHP User
17 years ago
Must take my comment with a grain of salt as I've never been in the situation but maybe it is because of clubs that do emphasise to those single guys that they are likely to be thrown out if they seem to be pushy and such. This then makes them not want to approach people rather trying to let them come first. It is a bit like a lot of the comments about single guys on here by couples who complain that they are pestered by them. Similar thing except i the clubs instead of being blocked they will be thrown out. Maybe I'm way off the mark, maybe not.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think the main reason that guys sit back at clubs is because of the fear of being knocked back by the ladies/couples. Some guys don't take rejection too well. I usually find that if you have a good attitude and good sense of humour, then everything's cool..
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RHP User
17 years ago
In my experience at clubs , both working and visiting, as a single . I would always say hello, intoduce myself and try to strike up a convo ..This isnt seen as pushy, or forceful... If I wasnt what the girl or couple were looking for. So be it ..But I had made friends and broken the ice ...
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RHP User
17 years ago
don't you know INK....most guys are all talk (full of Shite!!) and no action... they are all gun ho over the net but when reality bites they wimper like lil boys. l say keep them in their dark corners, we like to shine in the light!!
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RHP User
17 years ago
Being a single guy that has been going to swingers clubs for a little bit now (not claiming to be an expert) I do know what it's like. I also talk to most of the single guys on the nights too. I'm not interested in hooking up with them at all, but I'm sure I look like much less of a weirdo than sitting alone. The first time at a swingers club is pretty daunting, no matter who you are. But as a single guy it's very, very full on. You have all these rules and you think you have to be totally on your best behaviour. I was pretty scared that I might make someone feel uncomfortable or offend them. Once you go a few more times you realise you can be yourself and if people don't like you then it's not a big deal. Just don't keep pushing. I tend to meet at least 5 new couples when I go, and see a few faces I've met before. I don't go there to get sex, I go for fun. Which is probably why I don't have sex there all that much! LOL! What I have found that is interesting tho is that the guys that I saw earlier just sitting around doing nothing seem to get sex. I guess this is because it's obvious that they are there for that reason?
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RHP User
17 years ago
We frequent a swingers club often and have to say that most of the single guys are well behaved. Only have come across a few that expect sex due to the high price they have paid to get in, and one or two who have been a bit pushy but easily solved that one, lol. Just go and enjoy yourselves, we all have had a first time so know what it is like, just respect everyone else, make an effort to chat, even new couples find it daunting at first so you not alone. And one more thing, go without expectations and see what the night brings. You dont have to get lucky to enjoy yourself at a club. shy
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RHP User
17 years ago
there is a difference of being confident and haveing a conversation than being pushy and rude thou,i know we tend to steer clear of the guys hiding in the corner trying to cop a perve.we go there to have fun not be harrassed,if a single guy come up introduces himself have a convo he will probably be in luck if there is some attraction there
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RHP User
17 years ago
We never have any problems with our single guys, they are fantastic respectful and courteous. You see we take time to talk to them, explain what they have to do to be able to mingle with out patrons, introduce them to couples and single ladies, and really make sure they are comfy. Most of the time you wont even know which of the guys at our club are single. Most of the guys and gals have met in the chat room first and then the guys book to come They already know folks from the chat room and it is awesome to meet in the flesh. So i think it is all about preparation, make sure the parties you go to have taken the single guys under their wings and made them feel comfy. They are just as nervous if not more than anyone else that goes to a club or party for the first time. And they deserve the respect of others as well, just as much as any single girl or couple. Take the time to chat to them and know that Here at CI. they know not to expect sex, and that we are here for them to have a great night out, but if it happens all well and good, but the most important thing is they have taken their first step into a wonderful lifestyle and one that will continue on hopefully for them to find a match or a couple that they can experience their fantasties, just like couples or single ladies want to do. Leesa
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RHP User
17 years ago
Yes agree wholeheartedly with what couplesint say,we try to maybe meet with a new single guy prior to a party to have a chat and sort this sort of thing out,and yes it has worked for us.I know that the single guys who attended our party sat night had no complaints and definitely want to come back again,and none of the couples had a complaint about them either. We have parties by the way and are not a club. bothtogether6
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RHP User
17 years ago
As I have read this forum with great interest with few people's opinions and experiences. I decided to don my helmet and invade SBF last friday night. Wearing my best black clothes and boots, that which would make my helmet stand out, if one failed to notice the obvious. I walked in, the Doorman smiled immediately and recognized who I am.. allows me to enter. The Till Lady smiled with a grin as she finally worked out who i am also. I paid my entrance fee.. and waltz right in. Now, the venue wasnt that much packed, but as the owner told me just moments before, there were just way too many single guys. I thought "you beauty.. this makes it more interesting with the research!" now the natural immediate reaction from the patrons was staring with mx facial emotions, from startling disbelief to humourish "who the fuck this dickwad is?" But i didnt care.. Im here for a purpose. And by george im going to accomplish that purpose! I went straight out the back and recognized few of my friends sitting there, and thus i joined them, chatted with them. Later, i went around to chat couple of people i never met, including females.. regardless of the topic, it was relaxing and amusing... Whilst at the sazme time, I also noticed a few guys hanging in one corner as a group. Siping their drinks, Eyeing every move their selected target female makes. Oh they have an occasional chatter here and there, but that was it. Also I noticed ONE guy that follows ONE chick everywhere but not utter a word! I went to the rescue and chatted this poor chick to ensure that she doesn't feel stalked by some twat. But alas! after 10 mins, the guy STILL standing there behind her, looking hungrily, but unsure of what to say! Jesus! What a Tin man myself gonna do? why Absolutely nothing! Cos i don't give a rats arse, im just happy i mingle and also happy that the patrons I've chatted to, are happy as well. Well there ya have it. I just confirmed Finks observation and is at complete utter loss to with this "single insecure guys syndrome" disease.. . Maybe they haven't got what we lot have.. the "Dilligaf about being knocked back.. the Zilch existence of High Expectations, and the desire to enjoy the night out with company of like minded people without fer, stress and etc etc ... *shrugs* *places his Helmet back on the shelf*
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hi bothtogether6, Would it be possible to come to one of your parties sometime? Im quite a sociable guy looking at meetting people in the scene here. - Dan
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RHP User
17 years ago
I must say you put a good question the times have changed a bit the other night I went to my local pub with a band playing all there was on the dancefloor was girls no boys just girls and I tell you I just started to dance chicks was dancing with me I am no oil painting but it turned out a great night. Same goes with swingers club blokes stand with there drinks in their hand hoping to get a dance but making out they are not there for the sex hoping they get asked. The womens libs movement has killed some of that old fashion meeting at halls where the girl get asked to dance we as a society expect things to fall in our lap
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RHP User
17 years ago
Leesa..Thank you so much for your input, as a club owner I hope some guys really thin about what you have said. Sparts Nioce bit of research m8. Glad it wasnt just me that saw this . Way to take one for team m8 .. OK so I think single guys get the gist of it ..When out at a club ...be YOU... thats what couples want to see and single girls ..your there to meet ppl and maybe more ...Dont expect a sex fest... Talk make yourself nown to ppl , chat, make friends....See where it gets you Ink Junkies
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RHP User
17 years ago
It's weird actually. Once I've broken the ice and actually said hello to someone I'm quite chatty... probably to the point of being annoying! LOL! But I generally find it REALLY difficult to make that first step. I went out to the casino and danced it up with two sets of good looking girls but just couldn't squeak out a 'hi' to get the ball rolling. I think a lot of guys have a real phobia of being rejected. What is really strange tho is that at CI I just go around and chat to anyone and everyone without being scared of rejection at all. I think it's because the nature of the place is way more open-minded and accommodating. It's also a lot easier to talk with people because the music isn't so loud and there are the booths and back area and all that. I think it's a lot to do with confidence, and some guys just don't have it at all. Others have barriers along the way in certain situations (like me) and the other guys are just the total super studs that get all the women. The thing is that success breeds success, and most guys know that... it's just getting that first success. ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Well said Blasphemer
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RHP User
17 years ago
I've been to clubs a few times, but I'm yet to visit one with a single lady. Where the heck do they hide??? Truly though, it took me a while to battle through my shyness and strike up a conversation with a couple...and too think I was surprised that things changed. James <-- should have done the maths earlier!!!
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RHP User
17 years ago
A couple of ex's of mine were dead keen on strap-on play, which was just fine with me because I quickly discovered that I rather enjoyed it too! One thing I've found though is that women are either right into it, or don't want anything to do with it. I've never seen a grey area in between.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Ive been when I was married and when I was single and as a couple is much easier. As a single guy everybody thinks you are a perv and it is very hard to start a convo cos they think you have one thing on your mind. That is not always the case. Most people at clubs are looking for a woman. The men, the couples and the single women are all looking for a woman. The odds are stacked against men.
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Mr_MrsJones
17 years ago
The thing with single guys is that so many of them say they are interested in meeting with couples but what they really want is to meet a woman to persue a relationship. Otherwise they are already in a relationship and are out there getting a bit on the side without their partner's full knowledge. I'm sure there are genuine guys like Blasphemer seems to be who are open and friendly and just interested in meeting people and having good experiences. It is sad that the good ones are labelled along with the bad ones but unfortunately it is sometimes hard to tell the difference.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Good point Ink_Junkies you've made there, we've noticed it too. We went to a particular club and was astounded in how many guys were standing around! We've been to places as Newbies and were welcomed, sat amongst others in a group, struck up conversations, formed friendships and went from there. I look at it this way, doesnt matter if your male/female/single/couple. Bite the bullett get off your butts and be sociable. Life will be better and money will be well spent. If your willing to stand around and do nothing, Its you who misses out which is a shame, because there is lots of people who will love to chat. Just be decent and respectful you will get further. If you dont, you miss out simple. Good luck. Female here - Couple186
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have never been to a swingers club or party or anything like that. But I can imagine that it would be quite intimidating for a single guy. You would be viewed as an outsider and considered "lucky to be there". This would not do wonders for your confidence and you might be worried about approaching the wrong person. How disheartening to be knocked back at a swingers party where people are obviously there to have sex.
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