M39

Sleepy after sex - hardwired or habit?

February 01 2011

I had the idea for this topic while reading this conversation started by tess75: http://www.redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Why-is-it-so-difficult-to-remain-friendly-after-sex-31642 Tess was wondering why the men she'd met didn't want to have conversations after sex - meaning the next day or in the thereafter, not immediately afterwards. But the topic came up of men being sleepy immediately after orgasm. I wonder what other people think about the phenomenon of "cum coma", as it was called? Here are my thoughts. I read somewhere that it's not as much of a biological response as we may have been led to believe. Students of human behaviour call it "Classical conditioning" - the Wikipedia page explains it well. Because adolescent males spend their formative years masturbating just before sleep (guilty!), the release of an orgasm triggers a response that says "time for sleep". While some say there is a sleep-inducing chemical released in men at orgasm, there are also the opposite things. Increased heart rate, testosterone, adrenaline - energy, the opposite impulses to sleepiness. So in many ways the impulse to go to sleep immediately is the mind's experience fighting against the biological/chemical effects. Furthermore, it seems to happen most frequently at night time - am I right? For those of us lucky enough to come during the day we're not always in need of an immediate 8-hour refresher. So that leads me to believe it's the specific combination of night time + being in a bed + plus the mental association between orgasm and going to sleep. Thoughts? If it's a learned behaviour, it can be un-learned. The best way to un-learned a learned behaviour is to replace it with something more desireable. So, ladies - what should men do instead of rolling over and going to sleep? Remember that the more active it is, the more likely it is to work. (And please don't say "the ironing"). Or has anyone found it a useful thing?

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RHP User

15 years ago

I think Ive said before that we are at our most vulnerable after sex. Shooting a load is like being struck with a truth syrum... so it is in your best interest gentlemen to fein sleeping, lest you be asked a question you really do not wish to answer honestly.Just sayin. Moving right along now... nothing to see here... keep it moving folks.... we'll have this mess cleaned up in a jiffie.Hugsstalky

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RHP User

15 years ago

Though I can usually go a couple of hours kip after some afternoon delight......then again i can go for a nanny nap in the afternoon if i get the chance, regardless! Sometimes we don't go to sleep after late night sex, especially if Delroys quiz is on the radio, then we have to see which of us can get the most right.Cheers Nev.......hates the History and Literature questions!

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RHP User

15 years ago

What should they do straight after sex - that's obvious isn't it. They should talky about their feelings !!!Meeka

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RHP User

15 years ago

I'll keep that in mind. Now, if I could work out how to have success with formatting posts. Please excuse my embarrassing n00b attempt.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Schedule sex at 5pm with a table booked at a great pizza place for 8pm. No man with a post-workout hungry tummy is going to choose sleep over pizza.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Quoting 'irresponsibility' Schedule sex at 5pm with a table booked at a great pizza place for 8pm. No man with a post-workout hungry tummy is going to choose sleep over pizza. See... this is why men get manipulated so readily. They think about this shit. We've really got no hope of holding out against such adversity. Don't let them win entirely.. I mean... cmon.... at least order the pasta fellas.HUgsStalky

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RHP User

15 years ago

There is NO WAY ON EARTH that i can go to sleep straight after sex!I don't know how other guys manage it. Don't get me wrong, i would LOVE to be able to nod off straight after, but how can you??I've just put my body through the equivalent of a basketball game, or some sort of sport, and everything tingles and is AWAKE.Takes me an hour or two after before my body has had a chance to slow down again!But hey, thats just me!

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RHP User

15 years ago

Quoting 'stalky' Quoting 'irresponsibility' Schedule sex at 5pm with a table booked at a great pizza place for 8pm. No man with a post-workout hungry tummy is going to choose sleep over pizza. See... this is why men get manipulated so readily. They think about this shit. We've really got no hope of holding out against such adversity. Don't let them win entirely.. I mean... cmon.... at least order the pasta fellas.HUgsStalkyMmmm pizza and beer and holding hands... Manipulation doesn't count if the manipulated party is really really happy

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RHP User

15 years ago

id prefer to rolll over and go to sleep after some really hot sex does that mean im a man??? roxxy

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RHP User

15 years ago

Right....if those first few years after figuring out that I could do something with "that" other than write my name in the snow in yellow ink, I would now crave sex at 6:00, 9:00, 12:00, 15:00, 18:00 and 21:00 hours. Norwegian teens rarely suffer from guilt issues...however with age comes decorum and you do discover some toys are best when shared with a friend. Damn work gets in they way too. Oh well...I did learn to be ambidextrous in my formative years and to multi-task. Thank christ for pizza parlors with home delivery!

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RHP User

15 years ago

I am getting sleepy just reading about all of this :) And a little hungry. Kinda want to get drunk...

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RHP User

15 years ago

I'm surprised no-one's mentioned a cigarrette.

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Sleepy after sex - hardwired or habit?

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