M60 F54
Soft Handshake
October 23 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
I agree absolutely. I also dislike handshakes for which the engagement/grip is not right; particularly when the other person is too quick to close their grip such that they take hold of your fingers. (You know the situation where you can't let go, and they don't let go?). Discussing this with a friend of mine some years ago, he said he stops the other person and makes them shake hands again properly. (He's 6'4", very confident demeanour, and not one to defer to just anyone. I think people corrected this way by him feel a little humiliated).
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RHP User
8 years ago
I would be telling your friend to you f himself if he tried that. What a wanker he is. More to the man or woman than a handshake - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
All the way from men and women.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Why would Mr cat be offended by a handshake? There's a bit petty in my opinion and he should save offence for REAL matters. I'm not a fan of soft handshakes, but really, you shake..... and move on to learning about the person behind the handshake through conversation. A handshake is merely a greeting, and sure, there are some psychological projections that certain shakes can project...... but deliberately using it as a projection of personality or self worth is a false representation that will fall flat if you don't genuinely hold those traits - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I like a firm honest handshake, not pretentious hard just engaging, speaking of which I like to be looked in the eye. A limp disinterested handshake and looking away evasively both leave me cold. (Young men meeting the dad take note)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Why would Mr cat be offended by a handshake? There's a bit petty in my opinion and he should save offence for REAL matters. I'm not a fan of soft handshakes, but really, you shake..... and move on to learning about the person behind the handshake through conversation. A handshake is merely a greeting, and sure, there are some psychological projections that certain shakes can project...... but deliberately using it as a projection of personality or self worth is a false representation that will fall flat if you don't genuinely hold those traits - Posted from rhpmobile As @Sailbadthesinner points out, a limp, disinterested handshake (and aversion of the eyes) does in fact tell you something of the person you are meeting, and it can be offensive when it occurs (especially when used to deliberately convey contempt for the other party).
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RHP User
8 years ago
He says there is something dishonest if you don't offer a warm handshake. It's like "here I am ". It is not about judging the personality but some hints of hiding things could be there. I usually look person in the eye and smile. Perhaps not all people see handshake the same way as me. I do know some see it as a power relations and often try to place their hand on top...or accompany it with patronising patting on the shoulder. I wonder if men judge other men more on the basis of their handshakes?(Ms)
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RHP User
8 years ago
I find situations more enjoyable when social "norms" and formalities are not required or looked down upon. Handshaking at times can be a rather awkward experience and I don't see the need for it in everyday interactions. Just being nicer helpful people would make more of a difference in the world than sharing the last thing you touched with everyone - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
A soft handshake when meeting than a soft dick when a little further engaged........
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RHP User
8 years ago
All the options to a handshake... Too firm or not firm enough, too fast or too slow, taking the right position, checking on your body language, getting your character judged in about two seconds on first impression, no second chances... Sounds like dating... :( - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Sailbad... Duly noted, be careful what you wish for lol ;) To all... now thinking I might just go for the old practical joke favourite being the electric shock handshake :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
You know how some aren't huggers? Well I'm like that with handshakes, makes me really uncomfortable to have a stranger force their hand at me, forcing our hands to touch. I feel my personal space is invaded, hate it. Reminds me of soneone shoving their baby at you to hold lol isn't she cute, do you wanna have a hold? Yeah nah 😂 So to answer your question, none of the above, no handshake will do me
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RHP User
8 years ago
worse when they say their name as they go to shake your hand, very awkward. I declined to give my name when this last happened and he looked miffed pfft
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RHP User
8 years ago
...we'd all like a firm, confident handshake offered to us...I think that reading too much into another's efforts is projecting yourself onto them.Better to take a hand with good intentions assumed.Some people really are soft and weak. But still good people.
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RHP User
8 years ago
with most of you. We can not judge character just on the basis of a handshake, but those people with soft handshakes are often seen as weak, and are exploited by others. Don't you think?(Ms)
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RHP User
8 years ago
That is exactly what Mr Hatter is saying. But he says some people are doing that unintentionally and that is even more weird! It's because they are unsure how to behave..
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'd keep the hand shaking with men, not women. It's old fashioned and awkward. Just say hello, no handshake required You know the problem I have with it is on the one hand (pun not intended) it's old fashioned overly formal, yet profoundly/overly personal with hands touching. Definitely never shake a woman's hand regardless of workplace or personal
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RHP User
8 years ago
I agree some people are socially awkward, and that perhaps sometimes too much may be read into a poor handshake. However having said that, I think most all would agree a begrudging and/or contemptuous handshake will seldom be mistaken when it it occurs. For the record, I'll admit I feel awkward shaking hands with women, but do so when a hand is offered (albeit more gently than my normal handshake with men). I'm not very big on hugging either; particularly with men, but also with women whom I don't know very well. I've never been very forward/overt with people in that respect.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I hate a limp fish handshake, they're awful - though The Crusher handshake is a special sort of tosspot. The limp fish says less about the character than a crusher, but they just feel awful - a limp handshake is about as engaging as a limp dick when it's a cold "small dick day", even if it's your own you don't really want to do much with it.
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MissRedFox
8 years ago
And have developed this habit of shaking hands with people regardless of where I meet them. But I like to see people return it confidently - particularly men. However my new thing of wearing a large fox ring on my right hand has resulted now in a number of times with a bit of pain after a firm handshake 😳 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Urrrgh! I had a client once who's handshake seriously sent shivers up my spine. Think of the wet limp fish. now think of someone with no control over their hand, like literally just hanging off the end of their arm. I extend my hand for a greeting to be met with this "thing" that does not grip, clench or engage in any way. His fingers lightly dragged backwards from my palm, It was seriously like trying to hold a cracked egg, you want to let it go instantly but you can't. The worst part was, the dude works for a Business Development Training Centre.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I believe it's called the Mr Burns shake ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I would have preferred Mr Burns 😂
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RHP User
8 years ago
I woke up in a panic this morning, well still kind of asleep but had slept on my hand and was shaking it as I woke up, I guess the brain was engaging realising it was completely numb. But it was creepy, as I tried to shake it, it felt exactly like that, a dead fish semi detached, my hand was flopping around dead weight. The light was still off, I jumped up to put the light on worried my hand had been severed hahaha Does anyone else start the day like that ffs 😀
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RHP User
8 years ago
Once my husband had a meeting with his client and latter that night he was telling me how this client has an awful handshake, all soft, no grip or any warmth. I told him to ask his client if he has any prostate problems. I realise it can be difficult to ask a question like that and one has to be tactful. Mr Hatter few days later told his client how his handshake is soft and wondered if it has anything to do with prostate problems and he mentioned his friend has a similar condition, to ease the tension. As it happened client did have problems with his prostate, but did not realise it was to that extent. (Ms)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Reduce " Session" time and the symptoms should resolve, or engage a third party
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thanks Dr Banana 😀
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Sawadee
8 years ago
Please don't offer me a hand that's as limp as a dead duck. Im meeting new and existing clients almost daily so handshaking comes almost automatically. Most are firm friendly with good eye contact , but I occassionly get the dead duck leaving me suspicious of the man's personality. Don't ask why ' I just do ? Once upon a time I used to get complaints my grip was too firm so these days I consciously ease back, specially with the popularity these days as more and more women are offering their hand. . And I have to admit , some woman have a more engaging hand shake than some of the guys I meet. As far as the power shake type guy goes' it doesn't bother me , to me it shows character and confidence , so I'm quite content to reciprocate.. Specially in business..
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Sawadee
8 years ago
You probally have carpel tunnel.. I'm having the same problem, fingers all numb on waking and you shake the crap out of them to get the feeling back.. There are exercises you can do before going to bed . Go onto you tube and type in " carpel tunnel excises ". It's got something to do with the nerves in the brain going down your neck , shoulder , arm and into your hands.. Jay..
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luvsilver
8 years ago
Remember Mark Lathams over exaggerated hand shake while standing over and staring down John Howard some years ago Mr Luvsilver
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RHP User
8 years ago
No it doesn't happen all the time. I either slept on it or had it up above my head with no blood flow. Strangest feeling though
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RHP User
8 years ago
Are you sure this is the Mrs writing this? "Once my husband had a meeting with his client and latter that night he was telling me how this client has an awful handshake, all soft, no grip or any warmth. I told him to ask his client if he has any prostate problems. I realise it can be difficult to ask a question like that and one has to be tactful. Mr Hatter few days later told his client how his handshake is soft and wondered if it has anything to do with prostate problems and he mentioned his friend has a similar condition, to ease the tension. As it happened client did have problems with his prostate, but did not realise it was to that extent. (Ms)" Sounds like the Mr to me. Why would a woman walk around shaking hands with people and immediately thinking it was prostate wtf Also interesting that you chose to ignore my opinion that some of us don't like handshakes, which highlights my point. If you walked up to me and went to shake my hand, I'd pull my hand away. I find it pushy and a thing men use to dominate women (think workplace) which I find wrong in today's society. So don't ignore this concern. Don't touch women unless they invite you to. And yes it's the Mr I'm talking to as I'm sure the Mrs wouldn't be so concerned about handshakes, she'd start a forum topic about it
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RHP User
8 years ago
Handshakes have long been a standard form of greeting (and of agreement) in business. You might be interested to know the practice has origins in conflict resolution. Armed combatants coming together to negotiate would shake hands (using the right hand) as a means of indicating/proving they did not bear arms (and the left-handed handshake was used by Ashanti warriors in Africa. This was a sign of trust because they had to put down their shield and were thus unprotected). What of the need and desire to treat people equally in workplace dealings (indeed everywhere)? What would you propose to introduce in place of the handshake? To address your allegation as to the identity of the OP, I would encourage you to read each of her posts again more carefully. I'm quite certain you will find you are incorrect. Many times, in many threads, you've engaged in conflict with many other posters (including me) on the basis of your own clearly flawed comprehension of those other posters' contributions. Finally (FWIW), and in light of your many posts to the forum (think sexually propositioning strangers, sex in public places, etc etc etc), I find it absolutely extraordinary you demonstrate such upset about the touching of ... hands !!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Sorry I touch. Never meant to ignore. I am just not here all the time and sometimes miss few posts. It just happened that I had a client with that problem and it seems men often jump to conclusion when it comes to handshakes. In any business it is a necessity. I doubt I would offer my hand to you. (Ms)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Ontology, perhaps for some doggy style - backside sniffing could work as a substitute (Ms)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Given established workplace relations law, and the recent celebrity sexual harassment scandals, I think that would be sailing a bit too close to the wind (both figuratively and literally!) And if that's not enough to knock that idea on the head, what of those individuals who might feel offended by a perception that canine behavioural traits might reinforce the patriarchy, and further, overlooks (or worse, disregards) the traits of those individuals own favoured spirit animals?
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RHP User
8 years ago
Any suggestion of dog-whistle politics (ala 'Mambo') is purely coincidental...
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RHP User
8 years ago
...not
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RHP User
8 years ago
"Don't try to get merit off every handshake. Exchange every handshake on its merit." If its too soft then firm it up. If its a deliberate challenge, then crush the challenger. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
A handshake is a polite greeting, sign of affection and common decency between two people in the right situation to show equal ground. I think. I find a person highly insecure if it isnt natural, too hard as thats scary insecure. As i am showing them respect yet they are trying to intimidate. I find it rude if someone has dirty hands when i go to shake if they dont wipe them off first or the fake wipe (germs are still on their hand yet the thort was there lols) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange73
8 years ago
Has its place. in my line of business, it is customary to meet clients and external colleagues with Q handshake. I also am a firm believer in eye contact. No sexual malice there. Why should it be? I'm puzzled by this thinking 😕. Id be more offended or puzzled if a hand was not offered in greeting. I'm a people person and I seek to connect with people in personal and business to further myself. establishing rapport is most important in getting your message and intentions across. Eye contact, smile and handshakes. If on a personal meet, a.kiss on both cheeks can also be an ice breaker. Touch, within context, is such a powerful communication tool. I've no doubt it is the lovely Mrs Cat posting. Read back on her previous comments and I have met them both at the last Melbourne meet. Lovely easy going couple. Their posts are consistent with their real life personality. Honest and intelligent and lovely.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Ontology About bloody time someone said that 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' No it doesn't happen all the time. I either slept on it or had it up above my head with no blood flow. Strangest feeling though I have had that several times years ago. I would sleep with my arm behind my head and wake up with a completely dead arm. Had to move it with my other arm to get it down, suspect I damaged some muscle tissue. Try not to sleep with my arm behind my head now.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I take a lot of notice of a person's handshake. It can tell a lot about a person. Their confidence. Their warmness towards someone. Their standoffish handshake. Their coward handshake. I don't even care handshake. But then I take a lot of notice in body language as well. Both towards each other and others. Ask yourself this. Do you like a confident welcoming hand shake? Now ask yourself this. What do you portray when you shake? Take note People tend to like confident people ( not cocky or I love myself)but confident in their own skin. It's sex appeal. So show confidence in your shake next time. 😘 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
In business I have shaken a few hands but two that stand out the guy who turned my hand so his was on top - power play stared that SOB down and the second one used his middle finger to stroke my palm nearly lost my lunch on his shoes - Posted from rhpmobile
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beachgal20
8 years ago
I cannot stand men who won't shake my hand equally.....a limp offering as I'm a female is offensive.....or is he just simply a ' limp' person......if I extend my hand first to shake a greeting( especially to someone I don't kniw) then I expect not to get the limp fish!!!
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RHP User
8 years ago
I find a hand shake when you meet someone for the first time nice. In business and socially, it’s welcoming. If I was meeting someone for sex I would prefer a kiss. I think they would see my eye brows raise if they put their hand out.
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bonefide
8 years ago
Depends on many things the odd handshake, but common practise is to a least offer your hand to shake. How people give a interpretation of your hand shake is up to them but u have been polite to offer your hand. in saying that I still falter when pushed into shaking a politics hand. 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
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RHP User
8 years ago
Soft hand shake ! Soft man its as simple as that . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
"Don't create one handshake and use it on everyone, the way you would a signature. Shake hands like you'd kiss: With your attention on finding a balance with the receiver. Making a new acquaintance feel comfortable is key to a good first impression." c/- 'The most powerful handshake in the world', Carmel Lobello, The Week, 18 February 2013
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RHP User
8 years ago
Hi there, I have one thing to say about the humble handshake, in our culture we expect a firm stong handshake with friendly eye contact. In western culture especially Australian culture this confers, dignity, respect, gentlemaness, honour of word and deed, including monetary transactions ie "we shook on it", implying the deal is solid and done. I was absolutely shocked many years ago, as to what a handshake like ours confers in African culture. I had just had helped a friendly man I had a good business relationship move house, he was new to Australia and I wanted to help him. I said there is something you are doing that is a cultural fopar, and I explained his handshake, I told him to shake the hand firmly and look me in the eye when you do it, I explained what it meant in our culture. He told me that is he did this in Africa, the other person would think him arrogant and untrustworthy, the total opposite of Australia. I was shocked, maybe this is why we have misunderstandings with other cultures. My ten cents. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
The information an informed and alert person is able to learn and to impart if another is massive and priceless... Anyone who wants to learn can Now Google "Alan Pease" an absolute Guru in body language.... In fact there is so much to learn and trust me its priceless information that gives you an edge in every human interaction situation. Short answer a soft handshake lacks sincerity... iften untrustworthy always lazy! Cheers - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Firm from both men and women. A soft "dead fish" handshake is pathetic and implies that person is lacking confidence. Coming from a person in an authority role or from a business person is a bad first impression. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Checker
8 years ago
It depends alot on if your the 'shaker' or the 'shakee'. The 'shaker', being the initiator, has the added pressure of ensuring a secure and firm 'clasp' whilst the 'shakee' must instinctively react, reciprocating equal pressure, eye contact and a cheeky grin. Left foot forward and easy on the step in, you don't want a pre-coital head clash. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
what I said. As for the swipes about posting history, well that's just predictable isn't it. Mrs hatter, you're seriously asking if we think men have prostate problems if they have a limp handshake? So a guy in his 20's or women, is it likely they would have prostate problems? They might have a hernia or cancer, or have had a really bad day, any number of reasons, but because you/hubby shook the limp hand of a man once who happened to have prostate problems, to then wonder if this is always the problem? A strange assumption, and I still think it's odd a woman would be this concerned about handshakes. Re workplace, I attended an interview with a large corporation not so many years ago. I was greeted by professional yet friendly and relaxed women, confident but not full of their own importance. I was treated like an equal, and got the job btw I don't recall any handshakes although I'm not 100% sure about that. I certainly would have shook s hand if it were extended to me, but I don't remember that being the case. I wonder how many women would be doing the handshake thing if the workplace wasn't still dominated by men which it still is. Askk yourselves the question, if your entire workplace was women, would the handshake fritter out. I think it would. My comment regarding a recent handshake wasn't in the workplace, was just a random stranger, and not welcomed. My choice, my personal space, and I couldn't give a toss whether he found me untrustworthy because of my reaction because I didn't want to engage at that level, exchanging names etc it was being forced on me. What he thought was not of concern to me. Force it on me, then judge re the quality of the handshake? lmao
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RHP User
8 years ago
can I ask the question, do the women advocating handshakes walk up and shake hands at meet and greets? If so, that's a bit overly formal isn't it? Some of the women I've been dying to meet on here wouldn't get a handshake, they'd get a big warm hug if receptive, the men, well some of them might just get a much warmer greeting 😇
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yes Itm, people jump to conclusions. (Ms)
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Seachange73
8 years ago
😄
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RHP User
8 years ago
Having worked extensively in Asia the strong handshake is a purely Anglocentric phenomenon, don't mistake a softer grip with any lessened ability to extract the most advantageous deal. - Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' can I ask the question, do the women advocating handshakes walk up and shake hands at meet and greets? If so, that's a bit overly formal isn't it? Some of the women I've been dying to meet on here wouldn't get a handshake, they'd get a big warm hug if receptive, the men, well some of them might just get a much warmer greeting 😇 RHP meets call for a hug for sure. Some would get hugged closer than others. ;) I usually give a kiss on the cheek as well. I like shaking hands when the occasion calls for it. Firm shake and eye contact gives a good first impression. Its interesting thought to read about the cultural differences. Always important to consider.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Redux, not every culture endorses handshake. In some Middle Eastern countries shaking hands with women is not allowed as they do not permit skin on skin contact between men and women. Shaking hands with children is also forbidden in some countries. In Europe, in many countries it is accompanied with kissing and if kiss doesn't follow people are suspicious of you. Yet in others, when people meet they hug and yell at each other so everyone can hear them. The difference is in many cases how well you know the person. (Ms)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Went to my sons school this morning and met two women for a discussion, as soon as I was in the room they both offered their hands, firmish feminine strength handshake and a warm smile with eye contact. As it should be.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I've got Asian origins and I can assure you that strong or weak handshakes are not entirely defined by geographical boundaries. I've had both kinds of handshakes from all ethnicities.
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RHP User
8 years ago
... the weak, limp handshake. Nothing shows a lack of enthusiasm / no understanding of corporate etiquette / lack of confidence / unease than a dead fish handshake. Men with weak handshakes? Sorry mates, but I think I've got more balls! 😛 Hmm... Maybe I am a closet switch. I met someone who claimed to be a Dom but instead of a strong-bodied tea, I considered him to be more akin to a very weak tea. He subsequently tried to pull Dom moves on me but nah... I ain't yielding to someone of lesser mettle. It's a mental and emotional game, this Dom thing. That was the first instance where I got so irritated that in my mind's eye, I saw myself being the Mistress instead. Whoa... who woulda thought! And maybe, a switch is born! 😁😁😁
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RHP User
8 years ago
My dog shakes paws. And with quite a soft touch. I haven't tried similar with a Rottweiler to make a comparison...
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have a firm handshake for a man, but I love a firm handshake from a woman. I HATE the limp fish from a woman
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RHP User
8 years ago
I was always taught to give a firm handshake. Not necessarily a hand crusher but definitely not a limp lifeless handshake. I don't have the data to support this claim but I think limp shakers are probably sly and dishonest. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I used to live in Libya, and found exactly the same. In the local culture, the handshake lasted for what seemed like ages. Gave me the jimjams until I got used to it :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thought I was replying to the gentleman with the African business contacts!
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RHP User
8 years ago
M2m=firm ,m2f = unnecessary ,world would have alot less sickness n disease if we left it with the "Sullivans" and ww2..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'twomoretoscore' M2m=firm ,m2f = unnecessary ,world would have alot less sickness n disease if we left it with the "Sullivans" and ww2..... - Posted from rhpmobile Obviously maintaining proper hygiene is important (and is why most all of our mums will have insisted we wash our hands after going to the bathroom; in preparation for meals; keep our hands out of our mouths, etc etc etc) but, we all know people do sometimes fail with these basic concepts. That said, statistically, shaking hands with someone probably actually bears less risk of contamination than using an ATM, handling cash, using shopping trolleys, using door handles in public places... Bearing in mind the origins (purpose/symbology) of the handshake (that being a show of respect and trust on meeting), I do not think the hygiene angle is a strong enough argument to outweigh the merits of retaining the handshake. The recipient of a refusal to shake hands may be left thinking you believe they are some kind of unhygienic grub! That could be a difficult first impression to overcome, huh (?)
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