M54 F53
Sweet sixteen!!!
January 25 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Are you serious, you have waited this long? I have to be honest with you I am a little stunned! I don't have any advice to give except tell her all about STI's and what to look out for, etc.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I wouldnt have waited this long either... my boy has been fully educated from the moment he asked the questions and perved at girls.. it did help being on a farm so that the conversation came up more often than not.. honestly buy a packet, sit her down quietly in her room and start with the, now your of legal age to have sex and go from there and be blatant about absolutely everything.. education, information and communication are the biggest keys to this..
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gazpacho
12 years ago
My lot are all in their early to late twenties. They learn the condom story years before you think it's time to tell them, so you're lining yourself up for the "look". It's reasonable to have some condoms in places you know your children will look, but are not meant to, like your suite cabinet (well that's where we had them)... At least then you're making this stuff accessible without going all the way by handing them out as if you have given consent to go out and shag. Our kids always brought their partners home and we've been quite open, without being so open to cause their embarrassment. Hopefully you've been really good parents and they'll respect, and understand your limits. Ours all had teenage partner sleepovers, but we never openly encouraged this, although we felt better that they were safe under our roof, rather than wandering the streets looking for a park in the dark to do their exploring. At that age nobody stayed at our place unless my partner first spoke to the child's guardian. In that respect, we were the exception rather than the rule. Most parents it seems have no real idea where their kids are! Hugs Gazpacho
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madotara69
12 years ago
Kids just want to be spoken to, eye to eye. It is pretty amazing some of the conversations you can have with these little grown ups, take your note book Mr and Mrs Cheeky. You may be in for a bit of study session on google, as soon the little cheeky is out of site. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have two girls so went through this but way before they were 16. We talked about it and when they reached the age of consent then I just went and bought condoms and handed them over. They both went ewwwww mum! I said girls, I do not want you to come home with a a baby in the oven and no guy to step up and take responsibility for said childI told them guys will make you pregnant and then walk away and leave you there alone to fend for yourself. I told them that sex is the easy part, that intimate sex was the hard part ,as they would have sex with inexperienced men. I would have preferred that they got seduced by older guys that knew what they were doing, but its not the case, both girls found that nice guy from high school and that was their starting place so it was a combination of puppy love and stumbling's I would think but it worked out fine. As both girls are pretty prudish , god knows why with a mother like me. They have not got themselves into any strife at all with guys. Self esteem and the ability to come talk any talk to Mum no matter what the topic helps. good luck with it all, hope it works out for you as well as it has for me. tip of the day, tell her not to use soap in her pink bits and that STDS are not always preventable even with condoms.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm with Meeka on this one....... I'm really surprised this wasn't incorporated in previous discussions and I can only hope there were previous talks,,,....... That being said and of no help to you now.......... Be relaxed, be honest and be straight forward........... She might be embarrassed but you shouldn't be !!!!! ............ You can say, I don't know if you've had sex, but we want to let you know about a few things etc, etc..... There are some really great websites that give you good suggestions on "how to do the talk".............. Really, the more open you are with your children about these things, the more likely they are to approach you with questions or problems!!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
My Son is turning 16 this week ! About 2 years ago , I found out that he was looking at some Internet Porn . In both Primary & High School , he has done extensive study on Sex Education . I was involved in that study with him , so we managed to avoid any uncomfortable conversations . What he didn't learn at school and something I felt was necessary to teach him , was to Respect Women . I told him that Women weren't Porn Stars . I told him that females , his age , wanted Love & Respect . Hopefully , with that knowledge , he can have meaningful , fulfilling experiences . If I had a Daughter , I would tell her to always carry condoms because young guys can't always be relied upon to take that responsibility . & so many young guys , if they do have a condom , it will be some old and battered relic they've carried in their wallet for the last two years . GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I had this conversation with my 15 year old son last week. We saw something on telly about the rise of STI's and I asked him how much he knew, what he'd learned at school blah blah. I was just up front with it. We've always been very close and talking about everything so it was no big deal.
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
She is going to a pool party today for Australia Day at the boyfriends house! His parents will be there! Phew!! We talk a lot about things, but condoms hasn't come up yet lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thinking back to when I was 16 and thinking about what I was upto, I would talk to her straight away. Best for her to have her own condoms just in case. Best to be cool about it and supportive of her choices to ensure she makes informed safe choices. Because I can tell you a 16 year old boy friend will certainly be thinking about sex, sex and sex, and you certainly can't rely on him to do the right thing, no matter how nice or sensible he might be. My kids are younger and whilst they are younger, we still try to be open about this subject and make the concepts of safety and respect just normal day to day subjects.
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RHP User
12 years ago
there would be rites of passage into manhood/womanhood, and a celebration of their new status and role within their society and culture. These days, it's a clinical run down on how to avoid lumps, bumps, and weeping sores down there, which of course, is important to understand, but there's so much more to it! My advice would be to have a talk about what this wonderful new development in her life means and the new emotional realms she will be opening up to and navigating in terms of human bonding and complexities of relationships, and as stated above, with new freedoms comes new responsibilities to demonstrate maturity. Either that, or you could buy her a party bag with new bathers, sunscreen, earrings, condoms and Berocca. That should do the trick :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I opened the lines of communication about sexuality to miss 16 several years ago. My approach was it's no good to close the stable doors after the horse has bolted. My favourite place for broaching this subject is in the car while driving on the freeway where I have a captive audience with no escape. Although frequently the fingers would go in her ears and the "la la la la la la la" would come out of her mouth. My goal is to keep my baby girl safe and as such I talked about safe sex, sti's, taking care of her, date rape and anything else I could think of to give her the knowledge to be prepared and think smart. I told her it's ok if she "likes" girls that I will love her regardless. When I first started telling her that she was so embarrassed that I'd even suggest it but now "FFS Mum I like boys!" Keep the lines of communication open. Our babies need to know they can come to us no matter how bad the situation is. Sara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
OMG! Mom and dad - you are SOOOO embarrassing! 16? Boat's sailed guys. Worry more about her birth control and that she knows no matter what, she can come to you without judgement or repercussions if she gets an STI or pregnant.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You are adults and she is a young adult so sit her down andtell her all she needs to know.Don't be fooled gee I started at 13 with an over sexed babysitter who was 16 so hurry up...LOLQuoting 'Meeka100' Are you serious, you have waited this long? I have to be honest with you I am a little stunned! I don't have any advice to give except tell her all about STI's and what to look out for, etc.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The thing I did to open into the talk was I left info leaflet on bench with a condom box ? Waited in kitchen till he came out n I cld see him lookin at the info from a small distance ? It was the best opener to start the talk :) we ended up having a good hard long but very open chat about it all n this incld high self respect as respect for the females ? Hope that helps
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RHP User
12 years ago
Been there to at 16 and boy was it a horny timeTwice behind the shed and twice behind thebird cage so do the talk...Quoting 'Cheekyarses' She is going to a pool party today for Australia Day at the boyfriends house! His parents will be there! Phew!! We talk a lot about things, but condoms hasn't come up yet lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've started to open the lines of life to my now 11yo Why some of u may ask well it's simple when these kids come home from school they seem to be talking about it at there ages so I opened the lines as all my kids talk to daddy :))
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RHP User
12 years ago
I hate to say it, but she probably knows more about it than you! My daughter turned 16 three weeks ago and nothing needed to be said. Mind you she has an 18 year old brother and 20 year old sister. They hear things and pick up on things. Her friends probably all talk about these things anyway. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
12 years ago
In my opinion this conversation is never over. I have two girls 14 and 11. Miss 14 and I have been talking about sex for 2 years now and I have to say it's not been just the basic this is how it works this what can happen. It has encompassed everything from same sex relationships and how they have sex to what oral sex is. I think this is because of song lyrics, it's more out there mainstream and referred to where in my day it wasn't. I guess they also have access to a lot more information that I did at that age. We also watch embarrassing bodies and the sex education show which show real pics that are quite graphic of STI's. This horrified them but was another great opportunity for open discussion. I was 14 when I first started experimenting with sexual relations. Spent a year doing everything but actual intercourse and once that was done promptly took myself off to the family planning clinic to get the pill. I am hopefully that because of the open discussions and relaxed environment when the time comes she will be comfortable telling me but I also think as a mother I will know when she has taken this step. I do think it is somewhat easier with all girls in the house to discuss most things but then they don't get the boys side or version either, but I'm not convinced that matters. Anyway happy parenting everyone and keep up the great work. - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
Just to point something that is being overlooked. Cheekyarses are country folk. Big difference from inner city lifestyle and carefree opportunity. Correct me if wrong, Cheeky's Family life in the country is much different, mum and dad always know where the kids are and they are with other family folk with the same care and responsibilities to each other, close people all friends and look out for each other. so Cheeky's have come to the first time where there was a grey spot for a time where their daughter may be alone unsupervised and in a comfortable place of mind and self to enjoy the fruits of birds and bees stuff. Not all kids have sex under the age of consent, Cheekarses can feel proud that the time for these conversations are right in with the responsibility they have carried for it to be actually the absolutely smack bang on the mark time. A few hours from the time the cares were expressed. 10 years five years ago, would have little comparison for the true meanings Cheeky's are right, and mother is all to familiar with the feelings and vulnerabilities of being in love and the joys to the playtime to it. Good on ya Cheekyarses, good job and have a cracker of a Australia day, cos it's all about you and this. Mado Tara xx Worry gone kids no longer free to temptation. Maybe a sneaky kiss every 10 minutes if they can. Pash hehe
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MsJonesy
12 years ago
Quoting 'outhouse' I hate to say it, but she probably knows more about it than you! My daughter turned 16 three weeks ago and nothing needed to be said. Mind you she has an 18 year old brother and 20 year old sister. They hear things and pick up on things. Her friends probably all talk about these things anyway. - Posted from rhpmobile Many many teenagers don't have the full facts! They hear things...yep...and many of the things they hear are plain wrong. And very scary. Of the many examples I could give from the teenagers I work with, this is a perfect example of shared teenage wisdom:A teenage mum at 17.5. She didn't think she could get pregnant if she had an orgasm. Her friends told her that so she learnt how to orgasm.. inbuilt protection she thought. Thought condoms were just for STI protection, and as her boyfriend had only had one other girlfriend, she & her friends didn't think he would have any STIs. So stage exit left for the condoms. Needless to say, boyfriend did have an STI, and so therefore did she. Nice kid, great family, parents thought their daughter knew everything because of sex education at school. FFS.... Like everything, schools will do their best to educate their students, but it is up to parents to ensure a full and robust education in every facet of life. Please have the talk....and then talk again... and again and again....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Do the ole "hands into a condom and pop over your partners head so they can blow it up till it bursts" trick. Its a great way for young girls to see that condoms do fit big dicks.....and not be lead astray by that line. Getting them to laugh with you will help make any serious topic a lot easier to get started.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love that idea Ruby!
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wingman2014
12 years ago
My daughter is a very responsible young lady so I thought outside the square. True story.... She (16 at the time) wanted to bring her boyfriend (18) over to meet me . I knew he was shitting bricks at the idea so I used it to my advantage. When he arrived , she showed him into the lounge room . And sitting there was I .... Cleaning a shotgun The look on his face... Priceless. I do clay target shooting so saw this as an opportune time to give it a clean. It was some not so subtle symbolism. I sat him down and explained that I am happy to have him date my little girl but he had better take very good care of her in ALL regards. I think he got the message - Posted from rhpmobile
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
I talk about sex openly with my kids and we have already discussed 'the pill' awhile ago! We are not embarrassed to talk to our kids about sex at all! We just want her to be safe..
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gazpacho
12 years ago
A shotgun? You country boys. Hugs Gazpacho
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Cazz61
12 years ago
I have 4 daughters and I have brought then up as my father brought me up. To be open an honest when it comes to sex, sex is a natural part of life but u must rely on yourself to be save eg: birth control, so the pill or other types of contraception, Stds, condoms was their responsibility to keep themselves save. I think one of the most important thinks I taught my daughters is there is nothing dirty about sex so long as what is happening is what you want to do.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just head on down to the supermarket, stop by that particular shelf and ask which ones she prefers. You have left the talk too late. They have discussed this in PDHP at school along with appropriate practise on bananas. She knows all about them do give her a few stats on teen pregnancies, STI's and just buy her a box of them. Trust me.... I supply my 13 year old son with condoms...just to be sure - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think blunt honesty is the way to go. There is no way to avoid the embarrassment or discomfort of the subject but being open is the absolute only way that she'll trust you enough to come to you in the future about it all. The worst thing you could do is assume that she has enough info from others. *Anything is better than what I initially got though. On my 12th birthday my dad threw a box of condoms at me and said "wrap your dick before ya use it". Luckily for me I had two older brothers and their girlfriends at the time who were a lot more helpful. The girls got me some library books about sex and we all had a good chat whenever I had questions.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Chevtrek
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RHP User
12 years ago
Making a profile just to have a go at Chev (with more than post) might only encourage him. Just sayin'.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Cheekyarses' I talk about sex openly with my kids and we have already discussed 'the pill' awhile ago! We are not embarrassed to talk to our kids about sex at all! We just want her to be safe.. I'm sure you'll handle/ have handled it with aplomb! xxx
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